Emotions stir inside every human each day and their silent pull ends up dictating life.

At times, we bottle up feelings and set them aside because we can’t say what we really want to in the current situation. In certain instances, we think our emotional reaction is abnormal and that no one will understand.

We forget all about our emotions and just plan to come back to them at some point. We ignore them for as long as possible — or until our neglect leads to a total meltdown.

Research has proven that suppression tends to cause more harm than good. Negative emotions can drag you down, especially when helplessness kicks in.

It leads to depression, anxiety, anger, loneliness and a slew of new problems to deal with.
Your risks of serious mental and physical problems are drastically increased, the longer you bottle up your emotions.

It’s a destructive habit. But, like all habits, it can be broken.

Here are a few steps to guide you on how to release pent up emotions and how you can live a more positive, healthy and happy life.

Step 1: Check in

Figure out how you feel, why that rude comment from your coworker upset you or why driving in rush hour makes you feel annoyed, and get to know what makes you tick.

Accepting and understanding your emotion will allow you to truly know yourself. This, in essence, will help you live happier and healthier.

Admit that you have emotions and that how you feel matters, rather than setting your emotions on the back burner. You may think that showing your emotions can make you look weak. In reality, however, it’s denying you have emotions that does.

Vulnerability isn’t a curse. It allows you to connect with others, to love and to experience what it really means to be alive. Allow yourself to open up and you will notice changes.

Try this: Take the time you need to think. Recognize your emotion for what it is, then choose how to react to it.

See Also: 5 Happiness Hacks That You Need To Try Today

Step 2: Prioritize

You don’t want to care about what other people think.  You probably even told yourself that you don’t have an inkling of concern about their thoughts.

It’s simply not true. Everyone cares about what others think.

The trick is to prioritize what you care about and, most importantly, whose opinion matters.

Brene Brown, the author of Daring Greatly and Rising Strong, said it best: “When you don’t care at all what anyone thinks, you lose the capacity to connect. If you are defined by what people say, you lose the courage to be vulnerable.”

If you reach one extreme or the other, you’ll notice a total shut down. You’ll produce little, motivation will slip and you will wind up minimizing your impact.

Try this: Write down the names of a handful or people that matter to you. You can arrange the names in descending order or you can just list the people that matter the most and equally divvy your attention between them. Either way, what’s important is that you know whose opinions matter.

Do you really care what the grocery store clerk or your mailman think? What about your mother? Husband or wife? Children? Friends? Coworkers? How about your boss?

Make your list and ignore what everyone excluded from the list thinks.

Step 3: Know how to release pent-up emotions and take action

Express your emotions in calculated reactions by doing something. This is not the time for procrastination or excuses.

In step 1, you should have decided how you would like to react to specific situations or scenarios. For example, by keeping your cool or expressing your emotions in positive and proactive ways.

Although it’s easier said than done, letting your frustrations out in beneficial methods can actually help keep you from hitting your breaking point.

Doing is achieving. You can do all the planning in the world but you have to back it up with action. The time is now.

Try this: Let out your emotions with a hobby. Write, listen to or create music. You can pray or even meditate. All of these activities have countless studies that prove how valuable they are, especially in dealing with emotions.

You can also practice gratitude. It can help build better relationships, networks, career prospects and even belongingness.

Hundreds of studies have demonstrated how expressing gratitude can change lives. Its benefits include getting better sleep, having more energy and being happier, healthier and more resilient days when something unexpected pops up.

Step 4: Speak up

There will be times when you’ll feel something is out of your control, but keep in mind that you’re never helpless.

Speaking your thoughts will allow you to feel like you —your ideas, dreams, goals, challenges and accomplishments — matter to other people.

Ever wonder why a dream vacation is more exciting when you’re telling your best friend about your plans? Or why you feel more proud about winning first place in the 4k-mile run when you celebrate your accomplishment with loved ones?

The answer is simple. We need someone to care.

Try this: Talk to your friends, family or even pets. If there’s something bothering you, get it out of your chest. Knowing how to release pent-up emotions isn’t that hard. You just got to know how to voice your concerns, desires, and emotions. If you’re not sure why you feel so crappy, talking things out can help you figure out the real issue.

Talk to nature if there’s no ear available to listen or, for some reason, you’re too embarrassed to tell a real human. Just drop that emotional burden and move on.

Step 5: Never stop learning

Increasing your emotional competence doesn’t happen overnight. You must learn and work daily to better yourself and improve your life. Keep in mind that there’s always room for improvement.

Never stop learning how to grow and better yourself. The moment you do, it’s when you stop truly living.

Life is a magical mystery and it should be enjoyed with a smile on your face.

Emotional competency doesn’t mean you must only feel positive emotions. It also involves understanding how to better manage your emotions and why it’s a never-ending process. You must learn to make your life easier despite it being ever-changing.

Try this: Read constantly. Keep up with your favorite self-improvement sites, authors and publications. Find writers you can relate to- perhaps with the same struggles even- and learn from them.

Humans love to share what they’ve learned, so be open to listening to those around you. Even if you don’t entirely admire their opinions, you’ll still learn.

Finally, remember that it’s okay to feel your emotions, that some days you don’t have to be happy and that you can take control of your life. But, don’t take things too far to the point that you won’t go out of bed or shower for a week.

Don’t let your emotions take over or linger. As much as possible, don’t dwell on your problems. Address them right away and do something constructive to make the situation better before you react.

You have the power.

See Also: 9 Baby Steps To Happiness For The Naturally Gloomy

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Every success story is riddled with trials and tragedy. Our ability to overcome these obstacles is what makes them so appealing. From small startups disrupting industry giants to a small platoon battling a massive army, there are moments that test our character and build our resolve.

When it seems like there’s nowhere to go is when the fiercest battles take place in our mind, body, and spirit. The ones who triumph are forever remembered and depicted as heroes while those who fail are often forgotten.

So, what’s the difference between these people?

Well, it’s not their position, stature or even wealth. The determining factor that separates the great and the not-so-great is their grit and determination. In one word, it’s perseverance.

This is the quality that keeps us moving forward in a sea of adversity. It’s what pushes us to keep fighting against the current and overcome tidal waves of doubt. We batten down the hatches and weather the storm knowing that it will soon pass and we’ll be better after it.

It’s sticking to the plan when most have walked away — working alone, without pay, and without recognition. It’s this quality that makes us bend, but not break. We face our fears in defiance of the odds, shattering the barriers of reality, pushing the limits of what’s possible and reaching new horizons.

Either placed in these situations by choice or by circumstance, this is when we shine the brightest. This ability to hold ourselves to a different standard and not settling for mediocrity is what makes us stronger. Forever striving for success, we know that failure is not a permanent condition, but just a temporary inconvenience.

Our ability to recognize that nothing worth having comes easy is what encourages us to take a risk. It is what forces us to show up and perform every single day without any loss of enthusiasm.

A Tale Of Turning Trials Into Triumphs

The crew of the Essex knows this quality all too well. When placed between a rock and a hard place, they chose to rise to the occasion. This incredible true story of perseverance and fighting spirit is the inspiration for Herman Melville’s Moby Dick.

The Essex was a whaling ship from Nantucket, Massachusetts piloted by Captain Pollard and his 20 men in the 1800’s. During their whaling expedition, the ship was rammed by a whale which caused it to sink.

This left Captain Pollard and the crew fending for their lives on three small rescue boats, hundreds of miles away from civilization with no land in sight. With little provisions, much of the Essex crew did what they could to fight off starvation and dehydration. Sadly, much of the crew perished due to these abysmal conditions. Despite this, the survivors did not lose hope.

In such a dire situation, most would succumb to the circumstances. Captain Pollard, however, kept his resolve and encouraged his men. After weeks at sea, the remaining survivors eventually resorted to cannibalism and doing everything necessary to fight off death.

Surviving long enough for a passing ship to rescue them, the survivors were found delirious, starved and a shadow of their former selves. Eventually, the surviving crew members were able to return to Nantucket, where they tried to forget the horrors of the ocean.

Fighting seemingly insurmountable odds is why the Essex survivors will forever be remembered. Their courage and ability to endure the agony of hopelessness are qualities that are admirable and something we should all strive for.

Conclusion

Luckily, we rarely face life and death circumstances. But, many times we are too easily discouraged at the first sign of resistance- unable to say no, stand up, and do what is necessary for the face of adversity. We must learn to channel our inner survivor and fight off these obstacles with the tenacity of a prize fighter.

To do otherwise would be selling ourselves short and conforming to the reality that society has placed on us. Rather than living on our knees, let’s die on our feet knowing that, at the end of the day, we gave life everything we had. Leaving no stone unturned, forever pushing past our comfort zones.

We must realize that life is a bold adventure and to take advantage of it, we must keep moving forward. Let’s make the commitment to strengthen our resolve because if we never quit, there’s no way we’ll fail. And that is exactly how you start turning trials into triumph.

See Also: How To Conquer The Fear Of Success (Or Failure)

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Drones, the modern age RC helicopters of the era, are a fantastic tool for numerous applications. These flying pieces of electronics could do a lot of things, from spying on someone to delivering goods and remote monitoring. There are various military applications, too, but let’s not go into that domain.

Some of us might have some really creative ideas when we talk about drones. But, for this particular article, let’s focus on the productive perspective of using drones for your kids.

These ideas will definitely compel you to look for the best drones for kids and add them to their learning years.

1. Science And Math

Drones are complex pieces of electronics that require a thorough understanding of science and math concepts. Some of the significant terms are propulsion, load capacity, coordination, radio frequency and whatnot.

You can enroll your kids in a program where they can learn how to design and make their own aerial robots, code them to perform some tasks and put their creations to the test. With activities like these, students can enhance their technical skills with hands-on experience and exposure to new technologies.

2. Filmmaking

For children who seem to have a liking for recording and video films, filmmaking and photography might be the right activities for them. Drones with cameras have been an attractive part of aerial videography. They can help your kids explore a whole new domain and learn lots of new things about it.

3. Social Learning

Drones offer an amazing way to look at the world from a different perspective. A drone can expose the kids to their surrounding as well as help them explore new things. Kids could take up exploration trips with friends and family to discover new places. They could go on camping trips, a hiking expedition or maybe just a drive to a nearby area.

4. Land Survey

Drones have been used by farmers for land surveys and wildlife monitoring. Your kids could do the same in your backyard.

The kids could explore the type of vegetation in the area or the kinds of trees that grow in the neighborhood. You could teach them about the seasons and their effect on a time lapse video recorded using a drone. When going on an education expedition, equip the drone with a camera to explore the terrain and learn more about it up close.

5. Programming Lessons

Once you have got your kids all excited and involved in a drone, it’s time to teach them new things. You could enroll them in a programming class where they could learn new ways to program their drones and make them more functional.

6. Physical Education

Drones can be a valuable part of your kids’ physical education course.

A camera rigged to a drone could record the performance of the kids and help the instructor plan a routine for them. Furthermore, it can also be used in various sports activities to encourage participation and make them more fun. Workouts, like sprints, hurdles and hide–and–seek, could be coupled with a drone to make them more exciting.

7. Motor Skills

Motor skills and hand-eye coordination are essential parts of a child’s physical and mental development. These skills enable one to perform various tasks on a daily basis.

Flying a drone requires an excellent combination of hand-eye coordination complemented with sharp thinking abilities. So, when teaching a child to fly a drone, you are practically helping him develop those skills in a fun way.

Analyzing paths and flying through a constrained airspace allow them to think intellectually and make quick decisions. These things can enhance radical thinking.

See Also: The Health Benefits Of A Drone Hobby

These are just a few applications of the best drones for kids. Look out as you may find a lot more ideas to help them learn and develop new skills flying by.

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When you were a kid, your parents probably enrolled you in a sport or two. They probably figured it’d help you keep in shape and make some new friends. Plus, it’d get you out of their hair for a little while. A win-win, right?

A lot of time has passed since those childhood games and you’ve already grown up and moved on. Have you ever thought about embracing your inner child again?

Because if you haven’t, I think you should. It might be time to consider getting back into intramurals.

But, how can you find the time?

You’ve got a committed career now. You’re a productive member of society with duties to your family and co-workers. You need to pay your bills and taxes. You need to manage your savings and start planning for retirement.

And really, why bother with social sports, anyway? They take so much time and effort. Aren’t there better ways you could be occupying yourself?

Honestly, not really.

The experience is more than worth it and with the following benefits of intramural sports, you’ll surely be convinced to get back into it right away.

They’ll Help You Feel Like A Kid Again

You’ve no doubt heard the phrase ‘young at heart.’ How would you like to embody it?

By putting some time and effort into intramural sports, you’ll be healthier, happier, and more energetic. And, as an added bonus, you’ll even be more productive at work.

The benefits of intramural sports offer more than just health benefits. By maintaining a healthy body, you’ll also ensure you’ve got a sharper mind. You’ll be more alert, more energetic and, ultimately, more efficient.

Plus, there’s ample evidence that suggests how regular exercise can reduce the risk of developing certain types of illness and disease. I’m talking about more than just the common cold here. Getting fit also means you’re less likely to develop Type 2 Diabetes, hypertension, obesity or heart disease.

See Also: 10 Habits That Can Prevent Heart Disease

They’re A Great Way To Meet New People

Making friends as an adult is hard, isn’t it? Outside of your co-workers, who do you really interact with on a regular basis? How often do you get off work for the day and decide to go over to a friend’s place or go out to a party?

Chances are, the longer you’ve been an adult, the less you go out. Joining a sports league not only gets you out of the house more by giving you an excuse to be somewhere, it can be a great way to meet new people, too. And, as an added bonus, you’ll automatically have a common ground with those people – a shared passion for the sport you’re playing.  

And here’s the thing: most people, even introverts, crave social interaction in one way or another. It’s something that’s wired into our very biology, as basic as our need for food, shelter, and sleep. Intramural sports provide you with an easy, stress-free means of meeting that need.  

They’re Perfect For Team Building

Last but certainly not least, if you get your co-workers involved, intramural sports can greatly improve workplace relationships. By learning to work with your colleagues outside the office and doing it while you’re enjoying, you’ll learn to work better with them inside the office.

“Team building via corporate games are specifically designed to suit every age and ability within the company,” explains SME Advisor’s Guillaume Mariole. “They are designed to bring out the best in all participants and help to include rather than exclude. This enables high levels of trust to be built within teams, which is a sure-fire way to improve the way teams work together.

You might pass Kevin from accounting in the hallway every now and then. Maybe you exchange the odd nicety, but you don’t really know him all that well. Once you find out he’s got a knack for goaltending in floor hockey, you’ll probably have a lot more to talk about and you’ll both work better together as a result.

See Also: What Managers Should Know About Motivating Their Team

Closing Thoughts

Intramural sports aren’t just for kids. They can make you happier and healthier. They can help you meet new people and even make your workplace life considerably better.

Trust me, give them a try. You won’t regret it in the least.

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“The beauty you see in me is a reflection of you” – Rumi

When I was younger, I often questioned why people did not treat me nicely. I would doubt why they did not communicate with me, even though I was such an interesting and well-versed person.

Probably, I thought, because they are not at my level of education and are just interested in simple things.

Later on, I wondered why men aren’t courting me or showing signs of attention, even though I always acted as a very nice and loving person and tried to always look good. Later, in business, I was also perplexed why clients were not choosing me among others. That is even though I always communicated professionally and did my best to understand their needs.

In situations like these, I was tempted to think that the people around me were wrong, that they did not understand the depth of my nature, the value of my presence or the accuracy of my offers. Though, while such thoughts helped me to feel better, they did not make the people around me nicer.

Until one day, I realized the secret which fixed all the “wrong” people and made them very “right”.

The secret is very simple:

I am responsible for everything that is happening in my life. I am responsible for creating the way other people treat me. And I came to realize that the way I acted in the past, even though it seemed right for me, was not a “winning strategy”. It was simply not the right way!

Here are some of the things that helped me learn how to deal with people.

I thought that being smart was cool

I was always smart and the people around me just didn’t have the opportunity to show they were actually smart, too. The lesson for me was to learn how to be “unsmart” or “foolish”.

I learned to show my vulnerability, ask for advice and reach out for help and support as often as I could. Being able to be smart and unsmart at the same time is such a beautiful combination. It allows me to pour my knowledge when others need it or to empty myself for receiving new knowledge when I need it.

I was always loving

What was I doing wrong by being loving? What could be better and more desired by men than that? Why were men still treating me bad?

For sure, something was wrong with them. At least, that’s what I thought to myself. Mistake!

Intelligence is a lot like love. If you are always full of it, then the people around you wouldn’t have a chance to add to it and this makes them very confused. The real winning strategy here is to be attentive whether the love you give is accepted and well perceived.

If you come to the point when you give so much out of your full heart but you receive no response, then it’s a clear indicator to switch off your flow.

For example, every time you think of sending another love message to your partner, send it to yourself and show love to yourself. Every time you want to suggest something fun and entertaining, suggest it to yourself and do this exclusively for yourself.

Do not be afraid to lose your partners. It is just not possible to not love a person who loves and respects herself/himself. The quality of your partners will go up.

Start with making small experiments with this new strategy. Building up this balance between loving your partner and loving yourself is a jewel addition that can promote self-development. I guarantee you will love the effects.

I was so professional

Why would people not want to work with me? Again, it is not about me being cool, but about how they feel next to me. I realized my strong stand made them feel threatened, low and tightened. I also realized that professional business is not only about the uniqueness and greatness of my product, but about whether people feel comfortable, appreciated, respected, fulfilled and honored next to me.

I learned that maximizing professionalism and maximizing empathy and care go hand in hand.

This is how I approach “inconvenient” people now:

• When someone is too aggressive – I know they want my modesty.
• When someone is too manipulative – I know they need my sincerity.
• If someone is too smart – I know they ask for my appreciation.
• When someone is too stupid – I know they need my faith.
• If someone is too untidy – I know they are thirsty for my inspiration.
• If someone is too depressed – I know they want my naivety.
• When someone is too negative – I know they need my love.
• When someone is too egoistic – I know they ask for my vulnerability.

See Also: How To Develop Empathy By Understanding Subjective Hardship

Conclusion

The bottom line is simple:

I came to realize that those people who seemed nasty or “bad” to me came to my life as teachers.

They taught me things I once considered wrong or inappropriate. However, looking more deeply into the issue, I found some brilliant lessons that helped me learn to love myself as well as others. Those lessons helped me give freedom to others and to set the rules, to know how to let go and to appreciate what I have. I also learned to keep my mind flexible and open.

I understood that when I got irritated about someone, that was exactly the opportunity for me to identify and correct my rigid beliefs. Enlightening these “gray” areas of my mind helped me to gain more clarity about all the situations of my life and to become much happier and reasonable.

When life teaches you through other people, do your best to understand the lessons it presents and work on achieving that perfect balance in your personality. Thank these people for making you more aware, skilled, and happy.

People are not bad. All people are, in fact, good. Each of us is born from a divine sparkle and everyone has some goodness. You just have to know how to deal with people and how to bring out the best in them.

See Also: 12 Stressful Things To Let Go Of If You Want To Live A Calm Life

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It was the longest night of my life — that night while I was trying to recover from injury.

I lay in the hospital bed, incapacitated, motionless and sweating profusely. It was night 5 after a terrible road cycling accident rendered me a quadriplegic. My mind was jumbled with orbiting thoughts of despair, anxiety, sadness and anger. I knew my life was at a crossroads.

Which way was I going to go? Surrender and give in, or fight the good fight and give it everything I had?

Here’s how I was able to recover from injury.

Choose

Nobody chooses to suffer a catastrophic injury. Nobody chooses to be afflicted with some terrible illness or disease. But, we can choose how we respond to such unexpected events.

You can make the choice to aspire, persevere and prevail. Do not look at the rearview mirror and second-guess your choice or wonder if you should turn around. Make the choice to fight the good fight and do whatever it takes for as long as it takes.

Without choice, there is no way forward. You are simply going in circles, going around on a treadmill. You can choose but choice without action will leave you in the same place — stalled.

Apply effort

It will not be easy. Whatever may be ailing you will require action on your part. You have to want it — whatever that choice is — and be willing to push through the forces that will try to hold you back. Be unwavering and commit to working on it every day with faith that you’ll achieve success after all your effort.

I remember in those early days post injury, I had a brief conversation with my physician. He said to me, “Jamie, get independent.” Those are two simple yet incredibly powerful words: get independent.

Find your focus

For the last decade since the injury, those words have guided every step of my recovery. I made it a point to do everything in my power not to be enabled by anyone or anything.

I made it my focus to attempt to do things on my own, as frustrating and painstakingly slow as it was. People always wanted to offer help but I would just thank them and say that I need to figure out how to do things on my own.

I was maniacal in those initial months post-injury to do everything possible with medical interventions of one kind or another. There were many times I would do 6, 10, sometimes 12 appointments a week. This included physical and occupational therapy, pool therapy, acupuncture, reflexology, massage and so much more.

I was under the wrong notion that the bulk of recovery occurs in the first 6 months post-injury and tapers after 1-2 years. I felt this tremendous sense of urgency and didn’t allow myself to rest.

See Also: 9 Immediate Tips To Stay Focused on Your Goals

Pacing

My occupational therapist had said to me early on that there were 4 things I need to remember if I want to recover from injury: plan, prepare, prioritize and pace myself. The most important of them was pacing.

I didn’t listen, at least not initially.

My body was screaming at me to rest, especially in the first year when my body was still in a state of spinal shock. My failure to pace and rest when needed caused a serious “second” crash. I learned a very hard lesson.

Going through a trauma of this magnitude turned my life upside down. Everything was shattered from a professional, familial, marital, relational, financial, recreational and spiritual perspective. My life crumbled. I thought I had the mental fortitude to deal with everything on my plate but quickly learned after the “second” crash that I desperately need mental health counseling.

Seek mental health intervention

It took me a year post-injury before I finally did, which, in retrospect, was a monumental mistake. It nearly cost me my life. I could have easily committed suicide.

Once I did engage with a skilled therapist, I continued with her for the next 5 years. Initially reluctant and impatient, I slowly adjusted to the process and I can say that I have been able to successfully process feelings and emotions deep down in my psyche.

I used to think this was a sign of weakness and it’s not. In fact, it’s a sign of strength, a tacit acknowledgment that it’s best not to go through the process alone.

From the early days when I was in the hospital, I remember just trying to get my forefinger to touch my thumb. Seems pretty pedestrian, except when you are neurologically impaired. My level of injury from the spinal cord injury was C7, which meant that the paralysis started at my mid abdomen and extended all the way down to my toes. It affected all of my fingers.

Working tirelessly just to get the two to touch took weeks. Frustratingly slow, but, eventually, I was able to do it. That little benign, innocuous goal became a little victory.

This put in motion a parade of little goals which turned into little victories. Over time, the goals and victories became additive and cumulative that they grew into bigger goals and victories.

Have goals, constantly

The goals can be of any shape and size you want, but start off modestly. Keep working on them until you can check the boxes and move on to your next set of goals.

Think ahead of the goals you want to set for yourself and do whatever it takes to accomplish them. The victories will come and they will give you the confidence to take on your next targets. In time, you will be amazed at what you are able to do.

I had heard of the words mindfulness and visualization but didn’t understand what they meant or what they could do for me. Through friends and books, I gained a better understanding of them, especially visualization.

I would often visualize, for example, this beam of light emanating from the heavens, shining brightly and aimed at the lesion in my central cord. I pictured it like a laser beam, dissipating the damage like the morning sun burning off morning clouds. A decade later, I still hold on to this vision, particularly in my quiet moments or when I’m stretching after exercise.

Visualize

I have utilized this visualization process, coupled with mindfulness, to make internal movies of things I want to accomplish. I think of myself as a moviemaker, the author, scriptwriter, editor, and publisher of my own movies.

Back then, I would visualize what accomplishing those goals would look like, choreograph them in great detail and play them over and over in my mind until the movie could play itself without any conscious prompting on my part. It has been instrumental in allowing me to make the extraordinary recovery I have achieved since 2007.

I got dealt a very bad hand in this injury and I knew I wasn’t alone. Most people are either dealing with something themselves or know someone who is. I don’t have a monopoly on misery. I am not a victim and don’t feel sorry for myself that something bad happened.

This doesn’t mean there aren’t many more good hands to play. Nobody ever promised life would be fair and, for most of us, that has been the case.

See Also: The Art Of Effective Visualization

Make the best of it

It would be easy to think about all the things I can’t do anymore. So many things used to bring me joy, fulfillment, and identity. I have struggled for years trying to figure out my new purpose.

Why am I still here? What am I supposed to do?

I understand now what my mother-in-law, Muriel, would often say after she was faced with the consequences of an auto accident that caused a traumatic brain injury to her second husband. She would frequently tell me, “Jamie, I make the best of it.”

I understand now what she meant and I’m dedicating myself to doing something I did very little of in my early and mid-adult years. That is to give back.

I remember many years ago when I was seeing a mental health therapist unrelated to this injury. She asked me a number of deeply personal questions.

My answers kept skirting around her questions and she finally quipped, “Jamie, you’re like a greased pig. I can’t seem to nudge you to speak from your heart.” She then asked me, “Do you know what it’s like to be vulnerable?” I didn’t even know what the word meant. It could be that or I had built up such an external armor that wouldn’t allow myself to feel such way.

Be vulnerable

When faced with any kind of trauma, it can be easy to want to hide from others. Being infirmed can be shameful and embarrassing. It can even make us to want to be reclusive.

I believe that if we can shed that veneer and allow ourselves to be real, raw, authentic and even vulnerable, we can draw people closer to us. Being engaged and connected with others can be as important as taking medicines, doing therapies or following doctors’ orders.

After I suffered that terrible “second” crash, I became very fearful. I was very afraid of doing too much that might, in any way, set myself back and negate all the hard-fought progress I had made. I was cautious about everything – working, driving and exercising.

Fear is helpful up to a point. It can guard us against doing things that could be too risky or harmful. Beyond that, fear can also become an impediment or a roadblock that can get in the way of making meaningful progress.

Trust yourself

After 3 years of intensive physical, occupational, and pool therapy, it was suggested that I join a gym and continue rehabbing on my own. I did join a club I belonged to years before and got reacquainted with a friend who was also very knowledgeable about the weight room.

He took me under his wing and trained with me. In the early days of working out together, I said to him, “Sam, when I tell you enough is enough, enough is enough!” He replied, “Jamie, you need to learn to trust yourself!”

He was so right. Fear was in the way of me making further progress in my recovery and his words helped removed that significant barrier.

The work that Sam and I did together in the ensuing years changed everything about my recovery and helped defy the odds in spinal cord injury recovery. After several years, I have been able to ride a road bicycle and get on skis again – all without assistance or accommodation.

I submit that incorporating these 10 methods can help you recover from injury and get your life back together. You just have to realize that it starts with choosing.

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Success is a word that can easily grab one’s attention because it’s important to each and every one of us. No matter what background we come from, we all want to achieve success. We reach for it in our quest to achieve greatness.

Different people have different interpretations of success, but we all expect the same result: to win. If we had to settle on a particular definition, we might say that success is the realization or attainment of a desire or want.

Earl Nightingale, one of the forefathers of self-improvement, defined success as “the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” Whatever you’re working towards — a college degree, a higher-paying job or improved social status — if you consider the destination to be worthy, then arriving there constitutes success.

There are five important factors to keep in mind when it comes to achieving success. This list is not definitive as there’s always more to add and each individual’s list may vary. Keep these in mind and you won’t go wrong.

Self Image

In his book, Psycho-Cybernetics, Dr. Maxwell Maltz said that an individual’s self-image may be the most important factor in how he or she lives life. Dr. Maltz delves into how our self-image — the image we have of ourselves and how we think others see us — affects our lives.

A reconstructive plastic surgeon, Dr. Matz realized that while plastic surgery only benefited approximately 0.5% of the population and only on a surface level, the other 99.5% had scars that go deeper. These individuals had unresolved and untreated emotional scars stemming from the past.

The way to heal those metaphorical scars is not to go under the knife, but to have those people examine their self-images. Once they are able to treat their inner scars, they will be able to achieve peace of mind.

It’s important to note that self-image goes well beyond what we think of ourselves. What we believe others think of us or the light they see us in play an important role, too.

Self-Esteem

Often confused with self-image, self-esteem is the value that we place on ourselves. Unlike self-image, self-esteem is based on worthiness and not on the actual image that we have in our minds.

The common reason why many people confuse the two is that they’re closely related. In fact, our self-esteem is often derived from our self-image. As Psychology Today states, “Perhaps no other self-help topic has spawned so much advice and so many (often conflicting) theories.”

Whatever value we believe we have or how much we think we are worth constitutes our self-esteem. Stanley J. Gross, Ed.D, a licensed psychologist in private practice, says, “Self-esteem is not set in stone. Raising it is possible, but not easy…self-esteem grows as we face our fears and learn from our experiences.”

Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is exactly what it sounds like. It’s the confidence we have in ourselves and our abilities. It’s the belief that we have in ourselves and what we are capable of.

In 1890, philosopher William James wrote in Principles of Psychology, “Believe what is in the line of your needs, for only by such belief is the need filled…have faith that you can successfully make it, and your feet are nerved to its accomplishment.”

This was James’ way of revealing the virtue of self-confidence. This attribute hinges greatly on the two preceding elements: self-image and self-esteem. How we see ourselves and what we believe our self-worth is will have an incredible impact on how confident we are in ourselves.

Self-Discipline

Self-discipline is an attribute that almost everyone knows is important for success. Unfortunately, it isn’t the easiest to implement.

Self-discipline involves taking action to achieve your desired outcome, even in the face of adversity, temptation or any other obstacle. As Mark Tyrrell says in Uncommon Help, “Exercising self-discipline can make the difference between an averagely talented person doing something amazing with their lives and a naturally talented person realizing very little of their potential.”

Discipline is absolutely vital to your success. Ignoring discipline or trying to find a way around it will only push success further and further away.

See Also: How To Improve Your Self-Discipline

Self-Love

Self-love may sound like something that appeals primarily to narcissists, but it actually refers to how well you treat yourself. How we treat ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally and in any other areas of our lives indicates how much love we have for ourselves.

Writing in Psychology Today, Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. states that “Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows by actions that mature us.” Self-love is also important in helping us grow as individuals.

Carl R. Rogers, one of the founders of the humanistic approach to psychology, wrote, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Keeping a healthy diet and associating with successful, productive people are both good examples of self-love.

See Also: Yoga Helps You Love Yourself

The important thing to take away from these five factors for success is that each and everyone revolves around one important element: yourself. It all begins from within. None of these attributes relies solely on external factors. They are all within your control. Gain proper control and understanding of these factors so you can take action and achieve success.

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Admit it.

You’ve identified your most important task (MIT) for the day, grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down to work on it. Ten minutes in and the urge to check your email, send a text and visit news sites kicks in. You do your routine check and get back to your MIT and, after another 10 minutes, you are on your routine check again.

Sounds familiar?

Most people think this is normal and this way of thinking forces them to spend way more time on a task than it actually requires. No wonder why work weeks aren’t 40 hours anymore.

On Focused Attention

The ability to focus for a long time on a single task is diminishing in 21st-century knowledge workers despite it being one of today’s most valuable skills. It’s not something you put on your resume but it’s something you actually use on a daily basis to get stuff done.

I’ve always wondered how come I can complete my tasks well ahead of the other people at work. I noticed that most of them allow all kinds of distractions while working so they end up spending way more time to complete their tasks.

We all know what these distractions are and they aren’t going anywhere soon. So, instead of talking about distractions, we will focus on the solutions to help you get more things done in less time.

Today, I am going to share three powerful strategies that I have implemented and tested in my personal and work life. These are the strategies that taught me how to improve concentration.

Redefine Your Friendship with the Internet

The Internet is the core of all distractions, so let’s start with it.

These days, most of us have social media, emails or instant messaging apps open while working on a task that requires a lot of brainpower.

Most people think they can focus on a cognitively demanding task while surfing the internet and receiving constant notifications. It’s a huge misconception and research has proven it, too.

If you want to improve your focus, you need to look at how you are using the internet. Is it making your life easier or is it distracting you from your most important task (MIT) on most days?

If it’s the source of distractions, then you need to set new terms. This requires three elements.

A. Get notified on your own terms

Don’t let an email message from a coworker or social media notifications ruin your flow.

Turn off notifications from all social sites as well as your email on your smartphone. If you really want to get notified, choose to receive notifications only for emails or messages that are extremely important.

If you can’t turn off all notifications on your phone, at least minimize them. Decide what is important in your life.

B. Acknowledge FOMO (Fear of Missing out)

While working on a task, we all have a tendency to check social media or news sites because we feel like we are missing out on something important if we don’t. Millennials are badly impacted by FOMO and it really disrupts their ability to focus.

Instead of checking social or news sites 633 times during workday, have a couple of times during the day when you can go all in on it. Try it out for a couple days and notice how liberated you’ll feel.

C. Build a cave

If you have an option to work in a separate space, such as in a closed door office or just away from your colleagues, then turn that space into a focus cave for a couple of hours. Here’s how cave environment looks like:

· Tasks to be worked on has been identified already
· No distraction (electric or human) allowed
· Brain music (ex: brain.fm) for focus is on with earphones
· Coffee/Tea is ready to be sipped

Schedule Your Training Sessions

Learning how to improve concentration is like going to the gym to lose weight or build muscles. To improve focus, you need to have training sessions throughout the workweek as well.

The best way to do these training sessions and get stuff done at the same time is to use the good old Pomodoro technique. No one can beat Pomodoro technique when it comes to focusing.

If you aren’t familiar with the Pomodoro technique, here it is in a nutshell:

· Select your MIT.
· Set the timer for a specified time (example 30 min).
· Work on one task for the set time period with no distractions allowed.
· Take a quick break of 5-10 mins and then get back to another session Tip: Take a break away from your

Tip: Take a break away from your workspace.

You can download a Pomodoro timer easily from the internet. I use a tool called Tomighty.

If you can do 4 to 5 sessions of 30 to 45 minutes a day, you can’t even imagine how much stuff you can get done. Beginners find it hard to complete 4-5 sessions, so if you can’t, don’t get discouraged. Just start with 2 or whatever is comfortable for you.

If you are a beginner, you won’t be able for focus for 30 minutes straight on a single task because your brain isn’t used to it yet. Just start with a small number and increment from there.

See Also: Hack the Pomodoro Technique to Boost Your Productivity

Learn to Multitask

So far, hundreds, if not thousands, of research papers have proved that multitasking is bad for the human brain. Am I stupid to recommend multitasking then? No.

Even with all the research and literature proving multitasking is bad, more and more people are getting into it every day. One common complaint people have is that they have so much to do so they have to multitask.

To make a better use of it, learn how to differentiate your tasks. Some of them can be done simultaneously but others require intense focus.

For example, you can easily fill out a status report while chatting with your colleague on an instant messaging tool. On the other side, there are tasks, such as writing software design documentation, that require 100% focus and can’t be done effectively while multitasking.

So, the takeaway here is to look at your list of tasks every day and decide which tasks require intense focus and use Pomodoro technique to go through them.

Pro Tip: Use afternoons for multitasking and morning for tasks that require focus.

Steps On How To Improve Concentration

Here are the step-by-step instructions on how to apply these three strategies to increase your concentration:

1. Before you start anything else at work, look at your tasks and identify those that require 100% focus and which tasks can be completed while multitasking.
2. Select your MIT (most important task).
3. Make sure all notifications are turned off, except highly important ones.
4. Set your Pomodoro timer to your desired working time.
5. Work through that time and resist the urge to give up, browse the internet or check your phone.
6. Once the time is over, take a break for 5 to 10 mins. Step away from your desk and get some fresh air if possible.
7. Return to your desk for another intense session. Continue with your existing task or start a new one.
8. After you are done with your most important tasks, you can continue completing the other tasks on your lists which you can do even while getting interrupted.

Conclusion

It sucks to be late for deadlines or to stay late at work just because you can’t finish your tasks due to all the distractions. However, if you follow the methods outlined above, I can promise you that you can accomplish your tasks in half the time. Now, imagine having extra time for things you love to do because you learned to curb distractions and save time due to improved focus.

What are the common barriers that prevent you from focusing on a single task for more than 30 minutes?

See Also: 4 Habits That Will Improve Your Focus And Destroy Procrastination

 

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According to statistics, about fifty percent of children will experience the pains of divorce before their 18th birthday. Unfortunately, I happened to be among those who made up that statistic.

The common fear of those coming from a broken home is a lack of motivation. Don’t get me wrong. I have learned to retrieve some hardcore business lessons from my broken home that could motivate even those with the faintest of hearts.

To give you an idea, here are five hardcore business lessons that helped me build the successful business I run today. I believe these could be great inspiring factors for you.

The Desire for Independence is An Asset

Most often, the desire for freedom is a primary motivator for entrepreneurship. Having grown up without handouts, I didn’t find it difficult developing an independent mindset. Although it seemed a bitter pill to swallow, it helped prepare me for the entrepreneurial adventure I saw myself in a few years later.

Just like me, make sense out of your desire for independence. See your freedom as an asset for development and not a burden. Your ability to properly utilize this freedom is what will build your foundation.

See Also: Taking Ownership: Are You Taking Full Responsibility For Your Life?

Give Maximum Attention To Customers

While growing, I knew what not being welcomed felt like. I found it better to stay out because I didn’t feel I was treated right most of the time.

This made me realize that if I wanted to satisfy my prospective customers and turn them into repeat client, I needed to treat them like the kings they are. People love attention and will do everything to ensure they get it. In a broken home, I have come to realize that treating people well means directly growing your business.

Treat Your Employees And Customers Well

My first-hand experience of a broken home opened my eyes to the benefit attached to treating people well. One of the biggest mistakes many small businesses make is not treating their employees well.

They wholeheartedly believe in the saying that the customer is the king so they make their employees go out of their way to make customers feel favored. However, what they fail to realize is that, eventually, the overall customer experience is going to depend on how their employees respond to the leadership and the business.

Now, let me tell you a secret. If your employees are treated with dignity, trust, and respect, they will indeed show these things back to your clients. They would treat your customers the way you would, value your business’ goals and may even go the extra mile and make some personal sacrifices for the greater good of the company.

See Also: 6 Benefits of Motivational Training for Employees

Leaving A Great Impression On Your Customers

Growing up with a bad impression and constant depression pushed me to aspire to leave a better impression. This is repeatable in business and unless you have a million dollar marketing budget, word-of-mouth marketing is going to be crucial to the success of your business.

Leaving a great impression may well come down to your ability to get personal with your customers. If you’re the typical salesperson, you may be shown the door in no time.

However, if you take the time to learn their problem, get familiar with who they are and what exactly they are looking for, you would certainly be able to pitch to them in a way that appeals to them.

Hard Work Would Always Have the Upper Hand Over Talent

I used to believe that if you’re talented or are a little more intelligent than the “average entrepreneur” out there, the journey to success may turn out to be an easier one.

But, let me put it without any sugar coating: NOTHING beats hard work!

When you’re an entrepreneur, there’s no shortcut to success, even if you have some unique talent or a higher IQ.

Conclusion

In all situations and circumstances, your ability to reason is what will make you successful. Like me, don’t ever back out and become a chicken wing. Draw out the positives, work hard and relate every instance with your ideal business projection. The truth is anyone can be successful irrespective of the circumstance.

 

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You may have no idea what your reason for being is. You’re annoyed, dissatisfied and unexcited by everything. It’s monotonous, tedious and frustrating.

And if you think you’re alone, think again.

In fact, you’re part of the largest group of people on Earth. You don’t know what to do with your life and, worse, you don’t know how to find out.

People are not born knowing their role in the world. In fact, we’re all born with endless possibilities and therein lies the problem. How do you even begin and, if you begin, how do you choose?

Can you move past the idea that there must be so much more? What are the ways to  move on?

The Future is Yours—You Just Can’t See It

Life has many things in store for you. Family, friends, health, work, society—all of them change considerably during your lifetime. It’s unlikely that you will enjoy all these changes as not all of them will be positive.

Know this: your life’s journey is your masterpiece.

As you work in life, your purpose unfolds in front of you and your role in the world becomes clearer. Stop trying to meticulously plan your life. Planning is the antithesis to the adventure and improvisation that life requires. You’re in charge and that’s a great thing. A little scary maybe, but still a great thing. Remember that the best way to plan your future is to go out and create it!

Your default mode should be action. Doing [things] is honest philosophy. Stay positive and avoid criticizing others. Above all else, avoid negativity. Work to be helpful and try to look for ways to help other people.

At your job, help your boss. In your community, help your neighbors. For the rest of the world, help those less fortunate. Don’t enter the ugly fray that’s become so prevalent in our society. Always be on the side of positivity.

When you approach life this way, people seek you out and opportunities find you. It’s the law of attraction (http://ift.tt/1Rh8yjp).

See Also: 12 Mind-blowing Tips for Increasing Your Overall Positivity!

Don’t Do What Makes You Happy

“Do what makes you happy” is a terrible advice from well-intentioned parents and teachers.

In fact, you should embrace discomforts and frustrations and move beyond your comfort zone. This is the only way to learn. To focus only on that which makes you happy means you avoid a great deal of life and the learning that comes with it.

Every time you move outside of your comfort zone, you learn more. Your role in life and your true happiness become clearer and you have more focus. You find out who you are and everything that you can endure. Each period of great discomfort teaches you about your preferences and that your limits are probably lesser than you imagined. Push your mind and body and then adjust. Do that again and again for that is the journey.

See Also: The Call for Change: Time to Step Out of the Comfort Zone

Investment In Your Mentality

ROI or Return on Investment (http://ift.tt/2cT3YZS) is when you get back what you put in.

You already know about moving beyond your comfort zone – that’s the fun, adventurous part. However, sacrifice is tougher. It is the boring and frustrating part where most people choose to stop.

Note to self: “Don’t stop here.”

You need to understand that there is a long road to travel and that life is a marathon. Chances are you’re just beginning.

Humans are hardwired to want things now. It’s called immediate gratification and it’s a very powerful force. You should be smarter than everyone else, so think! invest in your future and reap your returns as you move forward.

Creating your future most often means sacrificing time with family and friends, working for long stretches in jobs you don’t enjoy (http://ift.tt/2rfsRpg), studying and saving your money. We all have limited time, energy and funds, but you must invest those limited treasures so that you can create a future of greater abundance.

Teach Yourself

Stop waiting to be trained! The truth is that you can’t gain knowledge without seeking it. Nobody can teach you anything anyway. They can only help you learn so understand that going through the process alone is one of the effective ways to move on.

When you don’t know something, read about it, work at it or ask questions. Read about new places, research careers that interest you and speak to people with more experience.

The more you explore, the closer you come to understanding who you are and what you’re supposed to be doing. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty because that’s the only way to know if you’re enjoying something. Keep in mind that you are your best mentor.

Big questions that can be helpful:

• What are you most passionate about?
• How can you give back to the world (http://ift.tt/2sdrcxK)?
• What would you prioritize if money and time were no objects?
• Can you speak another language?
• Is travel important to you?
• What professional experience do you want to gain?

Today, hundreds of companies all over the world will allow you to travel, learn and give back while you continue to explore your passions, develop new skills and discover new interests. Start by helping in disaster relief abroad through All Hands Volunteers (https://www.hands.org/), offering your time to provide a better future to the kids in Latin America with Maximo Nivel (http://ift.tt/2kXdo86) or help orphaned and abandoned children in Africa and Asia through (http://ift.tt/2fFsNGT). Your role in the world and your preferences continue to evolve over time, so continue teaching yourself and keep learning!

There Is No Right Time

Time waits for no one, so utilize the time you’ve been gifted. As much as possible, avoid falling trap to time wasters, like TV, social media, people who don’t like you and being negative. Instead, try reading, traveling and being with the people who like you.

Your path in life and your role in the world are only discovered as you work at it. So, work hard! A lot of people miss the idea of fulfillment and happiness because opportunity always looks like hard work.

Instead of thinking that way, engage your mind and body in creating your life’s journey. It won’t be easy and it won’t be perfect. That’s completely fine as it’s not supposed to be.

Thinking about it, waiting, being nervous or scared—these are all personal choices. If you want to move out of a rut, move beyond those choices. You will never regret your adventures if you’re learning new things.

 

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