Aldi has been a grocery favorite among frugal shoppers for a while. Its business model is bare bones, the company doesn’t advertise much, and most of the products in its stores are under its house brand. Also, up until recently, they’ve only accepted cash and debit. But this week, they announced they’ll now accept credit cards, too.
If you live in an apartment building, but still want to enjoy grilling meats and veggies out on your patio, this Cuisinart electric griddler can get the job done for $90, no flames required.
The more you’re capable of doing, the more other people will want to eat up your time. If you let them, everyone else can use up every minute you have. Make sure you give some time to yourself.
Android: The new tab page in Chrome might not be the place you expect to find suggested articles, but Google’s experimenting with them anyway. You can enable this hidden feature in the Dev version of Chrome for Android with a simple flag.
Does this sound familiar?
You’re running out the door to take your wife to the airport, only to discover you have a flat tire. You don’t have time to wait for a taxi or the auto club. You want to ask your neighbor for a ride, but you’re afraid it’s too much of an imposition.
Or… you see someone on the subway reading a book by your favorite author or about a topic you find fascinating. You want to strike up a conversation, but you’re afraid of intruding on the other person’s privacy.
Or… you have a lead on a promising job opportunity, and an acquaintance has dealings with your prospective employer. You want to ask her to make an introduction, but you don’t want to put her in an uncomfortable position.
Maybe you’re afraid of rejection; maybe you’re afraid of overstepping the bounds of the relationship; maybe you’re afraid of being a pest.
Sure, there are boundaries, and sometimes we do cross them. So if these scenarios arise often, you might need to examine whether you’re overly needy.
But most of us aren’t looking for such situations; they just happen. And when they do, here’s the key: just ask!
There’s a reason why “it never hurts to ask” is such an enduring cliche. Most people are more than happy to help a friend in need, to respond to polite solicitations, or to put themselves out for others. It’s a truism of human psychology that we feel better — both about ourselves and about others — when we give than when we take. In fact, a study at Canada’s Simon Fraser University found that children as young as two-years-old experienced greater pleasure from giving than they did from getting. The impulse to give is hardwired into our nature.
So it really is better to give than to receive. Consequently, the greatest gift you can give someone else is the opportunity to give.
And what’s the worst that can happen? If they say no, you’re no worse off than you were before. And then you can offer someone else the chance to give.
And if they say yes, you may find that you’ve forged a closer bond or made a new friend. Benjamin Franklin described how, after asking to borrow a rare book from a rival in the Pennsylvania legislature, he found that his colleague’s demeanor changed from cool indifference to warm camaraderie.
What’s more, others may actually be wanting us to reach out to them. A University of Chicago study showed that commuters on the subway are happier to pass the time chatting with a stranger than sitting in solitude. But most of them — most of us — sit in isolation, too worried about how people might react if we violate their space or their privacy.
Gerry Spence, the exceptionally successful trial lawyer, explains it this way: “I have learned [more] from my dogs than from all the great books I have read. The wisdom of my dog is the product of his inability to conceal his wants. There are no games. No professor told me that I might live a more successful life if I simply ask for love…when I needed it.”
Human beings are social creatures, and we’re at our best when we’re engaging others. So why deprive others of the chance engage us?
And why deprive yourself of the chance to get what you need?
The same principle applies in the workplace. We may be afraid that a boss or coworker will interpret a question as a sign of incompetence; in truth, the willingness to ask for help or seek counsel will lead us on the pathway to improved performance and impress others with our team spirit.
“Successful people never rest on the belief that they know everything possible,” says bestselling business author Bernard Marr. “They put a premium on investing in themselves through education and training.” And that includes asking for advice when we need it.
He then quotes Gandhi: “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
As she was working on Getting There: A Book of Mentors, Gillian Zoe Segal took inspiration from Sara Blakely, who camped out in reception rooms before convincing a hosiery manufacturer to produce the prototype for Spanx, the product that launched her billion-dollar career. Ms. Segal describes how she plucked up the courage to approach Warren Buffett at a charity event and, in 15 seconds, opened the door to an interview with the Oracle of Omaha for her book, which became a bestseller.
Does it seem insane to approach one of the world’s richest men and ask for a favor? Of course it does. But that doesn’t mean it might not pay off in the end.
The Talmud teaches that a bashful person will never become wise. If we are afraid to ask, we cannot learn and grow. And if we don’t learn and grow, chances are that we will never succeed.
So whether we are need of information, advice, assistance, or simple companionship, the solution is often as easy as asking. And if someone says no, don’t take it personally. There’s a whole world of people out there waiting to say yes.
All you have to do is ask.
Rabbi Yonason Goldson, a talmudic scholar and former hitchhiker, circumnavigator, and newspaper columnist, lives with his wife in St. Louis, Missouri, where he teaches, writes, and lectures. His new book Proverbial Beauty: Secrets for Success and Happiness from the Wisdom of the Ages is available on Amazon.
The post Why Asking Questions is the Key To Personal Success appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.
Those of us who suffer from anxiety problems know it doesn’t always take very much to trigger our anxiety. We can go from zero to a hundred in nothing flat. And once we get started, it’s hard to come back down. We might have some strategies for calming ourselves, some of us will use medications to help us along.
Have we ever really stopped and looked at what we do that might be causing us to trigger ourselves? David Burns, in his book, “When Panic Attacks,” lists ten cognitive distortions, twisted ways of thinking, that can cause feelings of anxiety, depression and anger. We’re going to examine some of these distorted ways of thinking now and look at how they can help us feed our anxieties.
Fortune Telling. We predict what’s going to happen in the future. Usually, we’re telling ourselves that something awful is going to happen. For example, if you’re shy or scared of public speaking, you might say, “I know I’m going to look like a fool when I give that presentation at work tomorrow.” If you have a fear of getting stung by bees, you might think, “I don’t care how lovely the flowers are, I’m not going anywhere close to that garden.”
Mind Reading. Mind reading is when we assume people are judging us or looking down at us, even when there’s good reason for them to do so. This is one that I was very guilty of during my retail career. If I wasn’t feeling confident that day or if I was the slightest bit unsure of the advice I would be giving to customer, I would feel like they could see right through me. I’d see them getting a second opinion or reading the product’s packaging and think, “They could probably tell I don’t know what I’m talking about so they decided what I said wasn’t good enough.”
The Binocular Trick. When you look at your shortcomings, they seem to be huge and out of proportion. When you look at your good qualities, you flip the binoculars around, and they appear to be tiny and insignificant. This can often be the case when we’re trying to convince ourselves to do something we’re scared of. The idea of asking that girl out is world-ending-terrifying, and the fact that you’re a really nice, sweet guy won’t play any role in her decision-making process. Did you notice how this example also had a touch of mind reading to it as well?
Emotional Reasoning. This is when we base our reasoning on how we feel. We think, “I feel scared, so I must really be in danger.” We can easily escalate our fears into sheer terror using this kind of thinking, but I know it’s one that I’m very guilty of using.
Should statements. We use statements with should, shouldn’t, ought, must and have-to in order to criticize ourselves. “I shouldn’t feel so anxious. There must be something wrong with me.”
Labelling. You take a flaw about yourself and make it your whole identity. Idiot, depressive, nervous, loser. The list can go on and on. Take your pick.
Self-Blame. Instead of figuring out what caused a problem, you just blame yourself. You beat yourself up over every flaw you can find.
I know the first time I looked at this list, I was able to find myself in a few of the distortions. After looking at it a couple more times, I realized that I could find myself in every item on the list. That’s not uncommon, so don’t feel bad if you’re the same way.
In fact, being able to recognize yourself performing these distortions is really the first step to using them to help ease your anxiety. Become familiar with this list and see if you can’t catch yourself. Remember, these are all twisted ways of thinking – they’re all inherently untrue. They’re all lies. When you’re able to find the lie in the way you’re thinking about yourself, you’ll be able to reduce the amount of anxiety you’re feeling.
When you’re feeling anxious and you find the lie about what’s making you anxious, the anxiety will disappear – you’ll see that it’s just not true.
Let’s look again at the person who was scared of getting stung by bees. He made an assumption that going to the garden would automatically result in his getting stung. First of all, it is untrue that going to a garden will automatically get you stung by a bee. Secondly, he never considered his options to protect himself from what he feared. He could have worn a long-sleeved shirt and jeans to minimize his risk. He could have purchased repellent. He could have carried a fly-swatter with him. By finding the lie in this man’s fear, we can see all sorts of other options to carry on with what might have seemed like an otherwise impossible task for him.
Look at the labelling distortion. There’s a real quick distinction to make here. The phrases, “I’m nervous” and “I feel nervous” are wildly different. Absolutely none of us are the physical manifestation of anxiety – it just doesn’t exist. But every single one of us knows what feeling nervous is. It is a feeling that we experience, separate from ourselves.
There are lies present in every single one of these distortions. The key to using them to reduce our own anxiety is to look at ourselves honestly. When we recognize that we’re using one of the distortions, we want to examine our thinking and find the lie in it. Finding the lie will show us that the thinking that’s causing our anxiety is simply not true.
———
Jason has suffered from depression and anxiety for over twenty years. He is a regular writer over at www.DailyZen.co.uk and can be contacted at: http://ift.tt/1cCe2C3
The post The 7 Ways of Thinking That Make Us More Anxious appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.
“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well have not lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.” -J.K. Rowling
When I see people posting the phrase, “You only regret the chances you didn’t take,” my first thought is that it is written by people who haven’t taken any chances. Because if you take risks, you’re going to get burned. And I can tell you from experience, there is a pile of regret that comes from all that burn.
Some of that regret is born from shame, because the experiences taught you how much of a fool you were.
I remember being cocky, standing up and declaring my way was best. I remember telling myself that everyone who warned me against changing was blind, and then they all watched as I came crashing down in flames.
Some of the regret will be because you’ve hurt other people, or lost valuable time.
How many times have I denied my children something in the present to sacrifice for a better tomorrow?
Whatever the case may be, there’s rarely a failure that doesn’t leave a mark.
These marks are inevitable when you’re doing something different. When you dare to branch out of all that’s been figured out for and about you. When you say, “No! I want to live my own way!”
An epic life definitely bears it’s consequences. But in a way, that’s what makes it epic. If it were easy, it wouldn’t be very exciting would it?
So how do you bounce back and keep going? How do you continue to chase your dreams without developing a bitterness and running back into the status quo where it’s safe and everything is figured out for you? Because according to highly successful people like Richard Branson,
“The ability to bounce back after a setback is the single most important trait an entrepreneurial venture can posses.”
Many times when we’re chasing a dream and charging through the practical steps it takes to get there, we can lose sight of why we were doing it in the first place. This is especially true if others who are chasing something similar are doing it for different reasons. As they share their motives, we may think, “Well that makes sense,” and trade it out with our own.
The problem is, deep convictions are born from emotional motivators, not logical ones. And in our society, emotional convictions are harder to justify than logical ones, so we brush them aside.
But if we lose sight of the picture that drove us into chasing our dream in the first place, it can be easy to give up when we experience setbacks. We are no longer emotionally attached to the prize at the end of the road in the same way we were before, because it’s no longer personal.
Take the time out to meditate on what really motivates you. It might not look attractive to others, but if it matters to you, then hold onto it and use it’s power to drive you forward.
Many times when we experience a setback, there is a certain person, or group of people, whose opinion is now making us feel small. They are usually the people who stand behind the lifestyle we are fighting against, or those who doubted our success.
Originally, we were able to fight against their opinion by believing our way was better and we’d show them in the end, but when we fail at a task or don’t see the results we originally wanted, we picture their faces in our minds, and feel shame. Suddenly, we are the fool, and we begin to wonder if we were the ones who were wrong all the while.
Identifying their faces, and calling them out is a great place to start. Do you really think they’re right, or are you just worried about their judgement? Do you really care what they think? What’s the truth?
Bringing this to the front of your consciousness, instead of letting it shame you passively, will help you to battle it. Then move onto the next step.
There is power in positive brainwashing. All this really means is that you need to retrain your mind to value a different set of rules than what it grew up knowing. We have to combat our culture, because when times get tough, and fatigue sets in, we will take the easy path our comfort zone offers.
Read books, talk to encouraging people, and do whatever it takes to convince your mind that you’re not crazy. Belief is the ultimate motivator towards success. Because whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. And having resources that tell you you can, will help you to believe. Perspective is everything.
The interesting thing about fears is that they are rarely as scary as they seem when you face them head on. It’s almost as if they are great at making their shadows look huge by playing tricks with the light, but as soon as you turn around and stare them in the eye, you can see them for what they are.
What is it that you fear if you continue to move forward? What do you fear if you were to give up? Ask the real questions.
Is your fear big enough to stop you in your tracks? Are you rationalizing your fear and turning it into “sound logic”, making excuses for why you can’t move forward? Are your fears valid? They may be. If they are, is there something you can adjust to avoid that consequence?
Don’t brush your fears under the rug, or let them taunt you from afar. Stare them straight in the eye and make them account for themselves. This will give you a clearer head to make your decisions less fear based, and more reality based.
Even when your belief is in the toilet and you can’t even imagine the end goal anymore, trust your previous instincts and just keep walking forward. Look at your failure, tweak strategies if you need to, but whatever you do, don’t stop.
Go through the steps even when it’s not exciting. Keep walking when you are working through all your emotions and trying to regain your belief. Because the walking, in and of itself, may just pull you right out of your funk. You will increase your self-trust, your efforts may start being rewarded, and new doors could start opening to you. But if you just stop.
There’s nothing.
Dealing with a failure is hard. It leaves it’s mark. But if you can bounce, it will become your story. Those failures will be what deepened you. They’ll be the very thing you’ll be able to hold onto when you’re wondering how you got so lucky as to be where you are. You’ll remember how you stood back up and tried again. And no one will be able to take that from you.
-Tara Schiller
The post 5 Ways to Move Forward After Experiencing Failure appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.
1. Set Aside Time to Check Email
Set aside a block of time to check your email, that way you don’t spend more time than necessary reading and responding to other people’s requests.
2. Clean Up Your Work Space
Getting rid of the clutter and papers in front of you will help you to focus on your most important tasks. Clean up your desk, and you’ll have less stress.
3. Create a To Do List
Before you start your day, write down the most important priorities for the day, putting the most important tasks at the top. This will help you stay focused.
4. Say No
If you have too much on your plate and people need favors from you, say no. It’s hard because you want to help them and be nice, but you must prioritize the things you need to accomplish.
5. Stop Multitasking
Allow yourself to focus on just one thing at a time, and you can finish that task much more quickly. By not multitasking, you get more done by knocking one thing out at at time.
6. Workout
When you work out you feel better and get more energy to be more productive. Hit the gym or go for a run, see how it affects your focus.
7. Get a Productivity Coach
Having a productivity coach or a life coach can help you to focus and create a structure so you stay productive. They can also help you remove the blocks that are stopping you from getting things done.
8. Take Breaks
Work for a block of time, such as one hour or 1.5 hours, and then take a short break. Doing this will allow you to keep recharging for longer bursts of productivity.
9. Turn Off Your Phone
As hard as it is, if you really want to get things done, turn off your phone, and it’ll be that much easier to complete your tasks.
10. Don’t Check Facebook
The temptation can be very strong to check Facebook. The bigger trap is when you meant to spend 1 minute checking and you spend 20 minutes browsing. Stay committed to your goals and don’t check until after you’re done for the day.
11. Do Your Most Dreaded Task First
Once you get your most dreaded tasks done, all the rest of your tasks will just get easier and easier. Start hard, finish easy.
12. Focus on Doing What Creates Results
Put aside everything else, except for what gets you results. Time well spent, is used on things that get you the results that you’re after.
13. Get an Accountability Partner
Your accountability partner will check in with you, and ask you if you completed what you said you would. If the answer is no, you’ll have to own up to any excuses that come up.
14. Outsource Less Sophisticated Tasks
The easy and mundane, though time-consuming tasks you do can be outsourced overseas for a low price. This will free you up to do the more important work.
15. Get Plenty of Sleep
When you’re well-rested, you’re more productive. Make it a priority to get a good night’s rest, and you’ll get more done every day.
16. Schedule Your Tasks into a Calendar
Set aside a time for each task that you have to do. For instance, from 10:00-10:30 is time for speaking to customers. That way you don’t get off track and spend too much time on something not so important.
17. Reward Yourself for Finishing a Big Task
Just finished the hardest or most dreaded task on your list? Great job, give yourself a reward! Otherwise, if you never feel the reward and satisfaction, you may not feel as motivated to keep accomplishing.
18. Set Your Overall Goal for the Day
What’s your bigger vision and goal for the day? Start the day knowing what you ultimately want to accomplish, and it will help guide you throughout the day.
19. Review Your Performance at the end of the Day
Write in your journal or rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 at the end of every day. And ask yourself every day, how can I be more productive tomorrow?
20. Uncover Why You Procrastinate
What is the real reason, deep down, why you’re procrastinating? Finding the true answer to this question will help you to address the real issue that’s stopping you from being effective.
Life Coach Spotter helps you find the best life coach for you. Click here if you’re feeling stuck and want to move forward. A life coach can help you reach your life goals and show you how to change your life.
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Meditation is something that seems like it could be easy yet, when you actually practice it you soon realize your mind is a lot harder to quiet then you could ever imagine. This can cause frustration which will make your meditation practice even harder and can unfortunately lead you to abandon your practice all together. Over the year though, I have discovered some techniques that you can use anytime you’re having difficulties getting centered and quieting the mind. Here are 5 ways to instantly improve your meditation.
Caffeine
This might seem counter intuitive but caffeine is something that monks have been incorporating into their meditation practice in the form of tea for thousands of years. Caffeine will cause feel good chemicals to be released in the brain which will put you in a pleasant, euphoric state as you sit. Also, caffeine will improve your mental focus and awareness which will give you better control over your thoughts. Whether you choose coffee or tea, a simulating drink is definitely something worth experimenting with. [http://ift.tt/1SWtiec]
Ask this Question
“What is the next thought I will have?” This simple question works surprising well for quieting your mind. Asking this question is like putting a microscope over your thought process. You will notice that when you prepare yourself for that next thought, that next thought doesn’t come. That space between asking this question and your next thought is the ideal state you’re looking for while meditating.
Noting
When you have meditated for a while you begin to notice that you really only think about ten or so thoughts consistently throughout the day. Just like listening to the radio, your mind will play the same old songs over and over again. Noting is the practice of labeling these familiar thoughts. By labeling your thought patterns you make it easier to cut these stories short which will allow you to quiet your mind much faster.
Mantra
In Buddhism the word mantra means “mind protecting.” A mantra is a word that you repeat in your mind over and over again to prevent your thoughts from doing its usual routine. A mantra can be any word you choose such as love, peace, ram, or om. Mantras can come in handy when you are having a difficult time getting centered.
Practice Forgiveness
When people begin meditating they often approach it with high expectations. They think they should be able to enter states of no-thought effortlessly and for long periods of time. This will often lead to frustration when they realize how difficult it can be to slow down their steam of thoughts. If you instead approach meditation as a practice in forgiveness, meditation can take on a whole new dimension.
No matter how long you have been meditating for, eventually your mind will secret a thought or two and it can be very easy to get lost in it. Once you realize what has happen, instead of beating yourself up for getting lost in thought, practice forgiving yourself and simply start over again.
This practice in forgiveness won’t only make your mediation easier but it can also make your life in general easier as well. Through this practice you will realize that whenever someone upsets you they aren’t intentionally trying to hurt, they have just temporarily gotten lost in their emotions or ego. Just like how our minds don’t intentionally try to disrupt our silence, practicing forgiveness with yourself will help you forgive others as well.
Conclusion
Science is proving now more than ever that meditating can be incredibly beneficial for everyone who practices it consistently. However, since meditation seems easy but is actually unsuspectingly difficult, I find that people give up on it sooner than they should. If you have become frustrated with your meditation abilities then try incorporating these techniques and I believe you will find yourself meditating longer and more consistently than ever before.
My name is Nathan Wiebe and I am the founder and writer of the Eat.Exercise.Live.Differently blog []. I am somewhat of a health and lifestyle scientist who loves experimenting with different ways of living. My mission in life is to introduce people to various ways and means of escaping a mediocre life. Sometimes you have to be your own hero so I do my best to provide the tools and resources that will lead towards a complete lifestyle upgrade.
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Sig Nordal 