5 Conversation Scripts That Will Instantly Connect You (even if you’re super shy!)

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5 Conversation Scripts That Will Instantly Connect You (even if you're super shy!)

As a nerd I love geeking out about fantasy, books, engineering and philosophy.

But in high school it was not always that,..uhm,.. practical. You know,… during that awkward stage of life.

As a typical nerd, I was always a flat out mute. During parties, meetings or whatever social settings my peers forced me in.

I ‘fondly’ remember leaving the party of my best friend. Just because I could not get myself talking to strangers. I was shy, anxious and plainly didn’t know what to say.

Somehow it was easier to avoid conversation entirely.

This was all kind of acceptable…. Until the summer of 2010, commuting back home.

I was sitting on the bus, minding my own business. When out of nowhere a radiating beauty comes sit next to me. A hot skater girl, exactly what I always fantasized about (romantic fantasy people, not carnal, mind you 😉 ).

I thought, this is it. Que the random teen movie soundtrack and go. Time to shine!

Of course I did nothing.

I couldn’t even utter a word. I lacked the experience to be even remotely social. Nevermind being charming.

That’s when I had enough!

I made a plan. I deduced two main problems to initiating conversation. The 30 seconds right before and at the start of conversations are the hardest. So why not do those on auto-pilot?

I researched and wrote down a few simple opening questions. Then started rehearsing. Just so I could start a good conversation without thinking. A few false starts later and I learned to initiate dialogues spontaneously.

With some practice you too can start talking on auto-pilot. Better yet: you can enjoy it!

Thus I present my elaborate scripts to initiate meaningful conversation. Socializing won’t be so scary anymore.

Start making amazing connections using these starters. Great for opening people up. Because these questions make people think and talk positively. Making others and yourself feel good. Laying the base for sustainable connections.

Feel free to steal these scripts – on the condition you start memorizing and applying them.

1 Hi! How are you? – – Why are you feeling ?

An easy way to start. But you go beyond the standard, by asking why. Most of the times people don’t ask you why you are feeling a certain way. They just dron on.

This way you give others the chance to tell about themselves. And you get to know them.

2 Hi, Nice to meet you. So tell me, what is your story?

A bit bolder. This approach may startle people a bit. But asking people what they are about flatters them. Give them the spotlight. So others have the chance to talk about who they are. Listen carefully, this is a great opener!

3 Hey I love your [genuinely compliment item], where did you get it?

This one is a bit less rehearsable. But practice and try it anyway. Paying people compliments is awesome. Everyone loves it. How often do you get a compliment? Not too often right? And when you do, it is great. Why not give that feeling to others.

Look carefully, notice what you like, say you like it, followed by a question were they got it. Doesn’t matter whether you compliment someone’s car, shoes or smile!

4 Hi, so what was your highlight of the week?

This lets people reflect on what they did, with a positive twist. Not just how was your week? No, what was the highlight!

Acknowledging and asking what was positive the last 7 days. You will definitely bring people in a positive mindset.

5 Hi! So what personal passion project are you working on right now?

Most people work on something they like or want to passionately get better at. It’s in the front of their minds all the time. For you it might be ‘learning to socialize better’.

Ask people about their passion! Listen, show interest and voila, you connect.

 

Initiating conversation can be hard. Remember, for most people it is difficult. Be the confident socializer using these questions. So you can start creating genuine connections. Memorize, try them and keep practicing. Soon it will be easy to make new friends!

—–

Want to learn more? Timon teaches social skills and confidence to engineers, nerds and geeks. By showing the right mindsets and easy applicable techniques. Learn to lose your inner doubter, make new friends and feel confident while doing it. At Techlecticism you can learn to be your best self.

 

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9 Ways To Make The Most of Every Single Day

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9 Ways To Make The Most of Every Single Day

best motivational quotes

Everyday is the chance for a fresh start – a chance to get things done and help you move closer to achieving your goals. By simply taking the time to start your day right every morning and implementing a simple framework into your routine to make the most out of your time, you will not only be able to get more done, but enjoy the process along the way – which, after all, is the key to a fulfilling life.

Here are 9 simple steps to get you on the right track, every single day:

1. Believe It’s Possible

Attitude is everything. It’s not enough to tell yourself you can have a fresh start every morning, you have to believe it. As Theodore Roosevelt once wrote:

‘Believe you can and you’re halfway there.’

2. Wake Up Earlier

In keeping with having a positive attitude, let’s start with your alarm clock. When it rings, you can either slam your hand down on the snooze button or hear a calling for a fresh opportunity. How you choose to react will start to decide the tone of your day. Mornings are not only the beginning of the day, they are generally the most productive – you have the most energy, and with the right attitude, the most enthusiasm, so even if it’s 15 minutes or half an hour earlier, set your clock and your attitude at the right speed, and the rest of your day will be better for it.

3. Meditate

Everyday is a new day and with that many unexpected challenges and stress can come with it. By starting your morning with a 10-20 minute meditation (I love the app One Giant Mind), you can find calm and balance before the storm. Spending mere minutes in the morning to center yourself and set your intentions can save you hours of stress and frustration in the day. Highly recommend.

4. Have a plan

‘People don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan.’ – John Beckley

Exactly.

The best intentions in the world will only get you so far. Having even a loosely mapped out day will take you farther than winging it ever will. By planning out the beats, you’ll be surprised how much time you’ll find, not just for more work, but to fill in the blanks with something creative.

5. Have a Creative Outlet

Take a break already! You’ve got to find time during the day to switch gears mentally. Everyone is creative. I mean everyone. So if you haven’t found something that you love to do that’s on the creative side, now’s the time. Start with something simple like Adult coloring and allow your mind to expand. This gives you energy and a new view on your work and the world. Plus, it’s fun, trust me.

6. Eat Right

Food is crucial. What you are putting in your body can do one of 2 things: give you energy or take your energy away. Don’t think an apple cuts it, instead of a chocolate bar? Maybe not in the second you’re eating it, but you’ve got to think longer term than that. 10 minutes later your on a sugar crash, when an apple with almond butter will give you fuel for the next 3 hours. It’s just this simple: you truly are what you eat. NO EXCUSES.

7. Add the Right Supplement

Now, more than ever, we are trying to get more and more and more done in a day. It can leave us feeling tired, lacking energy and lacking focus. I am a huge advocate for eating right, but more than that I believe that the science is in on certain supplements, one of which has mad a huge difference to my everyday energy, focus and clarity.

QSciences,is a health and wellness brand established in 2013 that specializes in creating products designed to improve every aspect of one’s health. Their flagship product is the Empowerplus Q96 which is an all natural supplement created from a balanced blend of 36 vitamins, minerals and amino acids designed to improve overall mental health and performance. It has been proven to reduce stress, anxiety and help the brain perform at its peak levels all the time. So if you are suffering from mental fatigue or just the stresses of everyday, the Empowerplus Q96 is designed for anyone looking to reduce their stress and improve their mood.

Here’s where you can go check out the Empowerplus Q96 for yourself!

8. Move

‘A body at rest will stay at rest unless an outside force acts upon it’ – Newton’s law of motion. He’s talking about molecules, but the same applies to human beings. You have got to get yourself moving, throughout the day. To sit at your desk, hunched over your computer for hours at a time is bad physically and mentally. Period.

I strongly advise not only having a written down weekly exercise schedule that you keep yourself accountable to – but as well, take 2 or 3 short breaks to take a walk, stretch and get that blood moving. It’s crucial to maximizing your productivity and optimizing your mental health.

9. Have Fun

‘You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.’ – Woody Allen

Last, but certainly not least: there is no point to life if you’re not having a good time. Not only should you mandate extracurricular activities regularly, after work and on the weekends, you should be trying to find the joy and fun in things you are working on, throughout the day. There shouldn’t be such a huge divide between work and enjoyment, or again, what’s the point? No matter what kind of job you have, with the right attitude there are ways to make what you’re doing fun – but it’s up to you to figure that out.

It is proven that people that find the positivity in every situation and those who socialize and make friends are happier and healthier.

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How Mindfulness Overcomes The Brain From Stress And Anxiety

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How Mindfulness Overcomes The Brain From Stress And Anxiety

Introduction

Little worries each day can finally snowball into serious anxiety and even stress. Some of these may merely be caused by imagining a worst case scenario situation. Other times, it can be caused by thoughts about work, family relationships or even hectic and busy schedules. Unfortunately, some individuals will let themselves be consumed by the negativity of life as well as the negative thoughts. Experts indicate that this can be a serious cause of stress, depression and sometimes anxiety. Instead of putting too much focus on the negativity of life or instances, one can simply focus on being mindful. Mindfulness is critical and can help you to live in the current or the present moment as opposed to dwelling on the negativity and issues in life. Dwelling too much on such thoughts can cause constant fear.

Try Mindfulness

What is Mindfulness?

mind·ful·ness
ˈmīn(d)f(ə)lnəs/
noun
  1. the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.
    “their mindfulness of the wider cinematic tradition”
  2. a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

It is vital to practice mindfulness to ensure you help the mind to relieve stress. Notably, constant fear and anxiety are likely to sabotage and hinder achievements. Mindfulness can be effective in dealing with both stress and anxiety. If you use the method correctly, it can help by alleviating both of these problems. The practice can stop all your worries and help you to focus on the present. The mindfulness activity helps you to avoid concentrating on those issues that are causing you stress and worries. The practice, in other words, is an effort to do the complete opposite or reverse of what the mind does, normally. When you are mindful, you free the brain from concentrating on difficult and stressing issues. Mindfulness aids in ensuring that you only act and concentrate on the present moment, wholly.

Mindfulness While Working

Is it possible to practice mindfulness while you are still working? You can practice the activity even when you are busy at work. It will, however, mean that you have all the focus directed to the one task that you are working on at the particular moment. For example, if the task is cleaning or washing the dishes, you can direct your focus as well as your attention to the rhythm of the particular activity. You can concentrate on the movement of the muscles as well as the smell of the soap and the scratching noises as well. The goal of mindfulness here is ensuring that you are transfixed on the activity or action.

Mindfulness While Idle

Even while we rest, the senses are constantly at work. However, we rarely notice this aspect. While we relax, however, practicing mindfulness means having focus entirely on the bodily sensations. Focus on the sounds, what you see, what you touch, and what you can smell. Try to feel the muscles supporting you or even the smell of the air that surrounds you. At the same time, you can even hear the wind or even the sound of the birds. While you do this, the goal is to take the mind off the daily or constant worries. So ensure you quit your mind. Forcing the mind to focus on only the present is a vital way to ensure you free yourself from worries or stress.

Why it Works

Worry and anxiety would not be an issue, but only if we did not allow them into the mind in the first place. Unfortunately, it is only possible for us to focus on one item or one thing at a time. If you know and are aware that you are only concentrating and focusing on the task at hand as well as the body sensations, it is impossible to have the conscious worry. We can develop the skills of mindfulness since it is not something that is inborn. Fortunately, you can practice the skills at any time whether you are busy or relaxing. At first, you may realize that the mind wanders a lot. As a matter of fact, it is hard or difficult to attempt to quiet the mind. However, trying to quiet the mind and concentrating on the body sensations for as little as 15 seconds can be a starting point to train. You can do it while showering while you are cleaning or even walking. Eventually, with enough practice, it is possible to use mindfulness to avoid worries, stress, depression, and anxiety. Keeping your thoughts in check each moment to ensure you only focus on the present is the aim of the practice. It is critical and essential to try and learn the practice as it will work on reducing worries and stress.

Conclusion

Mindfulness is a method of fighting worry, while keeping the mind free from stress and disturbing thoughts. It may be difficult for beginners, but eventually, practicing makes the activity more simple. It is vital in ensuring that an individual can only concentrate as well as focus on the current or present happenings. It makes anxiety, non-existent in the mind while ensuring that one regains the peace of the mind. If you have had days of being extremely anxious or stressed, then you will appreciate the role of mindfulness. Practicing will give you peace and relieve your stress and worries.

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David Gomes completed his M.S Professional degree in California Institute of Technology. He write for Consumer Health Digest. He lives in Oakland, California, USA. He loves to write on a variety of topics such as joint health, weight loss, beauty and skin care for blogs and on-line publication sites. He also loves latest technology, gadgets. You can connect with him on Facebook and Twitter.

References

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How To Get Yourself Out Of A Creative Rut

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Dig Yourself Out Of A Creative Rut

Have you ever found yourself at a loss for words? Or maybe you lose interest, or even passion, for something you’re working on. Maybe you’re just exhausted from everyday life and you can’t muster the creative energy to keep going. Whatever the reason, we all hit a creative rut from time to time.

Powering through just isn’t for everybody, especially us creatives. While we have a lot of good qualities, forcing ourselves to do something that we just aren’t feeling isn’t something we can stand. So, it seems the solution would be to figure out how to make ourselves actually want to keep moving forward with a piece or project.

If you’re stuck in a creative rut, consider trying these innovative solutions for innovative people.

Boost Your Self-Confidence

Whether or not your creative blockage has to do with your self-confidence, taking some steps to boost it can definitely turn the tables. High self-esteem is linked to higher productivity, so the better you feel about yourself, the better you’re able to create.

One quick way to boost your self confidence is to call or visit a supportive friend or family member. Talk to them about your endeavors, and they are sure to beam with pride and exude confidence in you and your abilities. Hearing how much others believe in you will definitely help you believe in yourself.

But you know what boosts self-esteem even more than hearing people say nice things about you?

Saying nice things about others, and even better, doing kind things for them. Goodwill toward the world is the best way to organically boost your self image. If you truly do something good for someone else, it will create positive emotions that can’t be hampered easily. Maybe send off some unsolicited text or instant messages of praise and encouragement, or sign up for that volunteer opportunity you’ve been meaning to forever. Smile at strangers and make a conscious effort to be warm toward everyone you come in contact with.

You’ll be feeling great about yourself (and your abilities) in no time.

Do Some Extreme Research

If your creative rut is truly caused by hitting a wall in your research or knowledge of a subject, it’s time to delve deeper into it. But I’m not talking Google or the library; while both are handy tools, they’re a bit too boring to solve this issue. You want to do what I call “peripheral research.”

Peripheral research is where you kind of look into something that only kind of relates to your subject. Your goal isn’t to learn any new, solid facts or gain a better understanding: your goal is to open yourself up to new ways of looking at things.

The best way to do this is find an extreme example of anything that relates to your project. You can find a documentary or biography of an unbelievable person that can tie back, or even watch an intense film that relates. One of my favorites is to find online articles pertaining to my subject and then dig through the comments for those awful internet haters who always have mean or extreme things to say about a subject. It’s not that they’ll give you anything useful to say, it’s more that they will reignite your passion and get you fired up to argue their ridiculousness. Then, instead of arguing, you can channel that energy back into your work.

One of my favorite ways to get started is to look for an extreme reality series that somehow relates to your subject matter. There are a whole ton of them right now, so it’s not difficult. For example: I was writing about unconventional ways to save money, and I hit a wall. I looked up “extreme examples of frugality” and found the reality television shows “Extreme Cheapskates” and “Extreme Couponing.”

I spent the afternoon mining youtube for highlights, and I learned a lot. I was intrigued and impressed by these individuals’ savvy and unwillingness to pay full price for anything. I never knew that there were so many free things offered online, or that coupons could save you almost 90% of your bill. These were no doubt extreme examples, and in the end I walked away with a fresh perspective on the difference between reality and reality TV when it comes to saving money.

Visualize Success

Oh wow, that sounds super cheesy, right? I imagine some motivational-speaker-type saying, “Now close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine the finished produ…”

Ahem. Let me just stop you there: no thanks. That’s not really for us. I mean, we’ve imagined the finished product a million times, that’s why we’re working on it in the first place. The biggest struggle any type of artist has is getting the finalized piece we have in our minds to come out exactly as we imagined on paper, or canvas, or in song or movement. The last thing we need to do is visualize our own vision one more time.

So try this: picture whatever makes you feel good, even if it seems a little sleazy. So you finish this particular piece of art and it gets picked up by a snazzy gallery where your ex sees it and re-examines all the wrongs he/she did you. This piece of writing you’ve got gets published in a top-tier literary magazine that pays handsomely, and even sweeter than the money is the fact that you can finally show your parents that your liberal arts degree is earning you such.

Or, you know, go crazy with your imagination… you finally finish what you’re working on and that leads to awesomeness but something else transpires, therefore this, but that, and eventually you find yourself living at the international space station.

We’ve all been there.

Either way, playing with your imagination in terms of the finished work instead of dwelling on the process of completing it can be a great motivator. It just might change your mind about staying on the couch and watching another season of “The Wire.”

Do Something Drastic

If you’re really, really struggling and nothing else is working, it might be time to take serious measures. Do you have a free day or two? Take an impromptu road trip and bring your work. Whether you camp out by a lake or rent a cabin in the woods, a change of scenery can definitely refresh your outlook. When you get to your destination, explore, relax, breathe. Don’t think about your work right away unless it’s already on your mind. After having some time to yourself, you might be inspired to climb right up out of your rut.

Don’t really have time to take off? Maybe consider fasting (I know, I know, but the heading does say “Do Something Drastic.”)

There are so many benefits to occasional fasting, including heightened senses and more efficient brain function. Fasting has been used for centuries to help with creative endeavors, and even reach spiritual enlightenment. After a day or two many report euphoria, crisper thought processes, and yes, creative inspiration.

Just remember to be careful. Don’t go more than a few days without following a program that ensures you still get the electrolytes your heart needs to keep beating.

Good Luck

I say that with the best of intentions, because I know, it’s hard sometimes. Creativity is delightful and rewarding, but it’s also draining in ways that aren’t always relatable. If you happen to have found yourself in a hole with all of the life sucked out of you, I hope these tips can be a little CPR for your inventive nature.

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Why Dreaming Big is Nourishment for the Soul

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Why Dreaming Big is Nourishment For The Soul

the importance of dreaming big

Each of us has unique creative potential; giving life to that passion is what we call Big Dreaming. Yet, big dreams—those ideas and passions that ignite one’s soul—are often dismissed as grandiose thinking.

Why is this? Many times it is because we get lured by the comfort zone of mediocrity. Big dreaming means changing our beliefs, actions, and sense of self. But change is difficult.

• Change means venturing into unchartered territory.
• Change is risky.
• Change is scary.
• Change may result in failure.
• Change may result in experiencing disappointment.

Mediocrity seems realistic because we think it does not require risk. In reality, doing nothing is doing something. It is making a choice to stagnate rather than grow. It is making a choice to live in the rut of routine. Routinized living is safe. Routinized living is sensible. The psychological principle, “external locus of control,” describes abdicating control over one’s life to outside forces. When we accept life as it is and make little effort to steer our own destiny, we give up opportunities to discover our full potential and passion.

• Routinized living is neither safe nor sensible.
• Routinized living does not insulate us from failure and disappointment.
• Routinized living imprisons us in the mundane and handcuffs possibility.
• It is giving up control over your life and giving it over to fate.

Big Dreaming is not only good for the dreamer, it is good for everyone as it has a ripple effect. The big dreamers among us are those who have expanded and improved our lives in ways that were previously unthinkable. Consider all the innovations that occurred in this short period of the 21st century. For example, cell phones that allow us to communicate via face time; taking a picture and sharing it instantly; and global communication that can occur with the click of a mouse.

Big Dreamers do not let others define them, they define themselves. Theirs is a psychology of “internal locus of control.”

Big Dreamers are the decision makers and holders of the reins in their life journey.

The cynic will say that there are only a few Big Dreamers who succeed, like the Mark Zuckerbergs, Bill Gates, and Steve Jobs, while the rest of us have to accept the reality of our small lives. This type of thinking labels big dreams as silly, childish, “pie in the sky” type thinking.

Remember this:

• Cynicism is the fuel that feeds mediocrity.
• Some people just do not want to grow; but, when they see you do so, they feel threatened.
• Creative living means that you are open to opportunity.
• Cynicism is a toxin to one’s potential.

Big Dreaming is food for the soul; it nourishes the spirit because it infuses one with hope. It is energizing and makes life exciting and enriching. It allows the impossible to be considered, and in doing so unleashes potential—yours and those around you.

————

Dr. Shoba Sreenivasan and Dr. Linda E. Weinberger are authors of the new book Psychological Nutrition, which encourages readers to live happier and healthier lives by monitoring emotions that are consumed on a daily basis and understanding how it affects wellbeing. Learn more at http://ift.tt/1TssE9z.

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3 Ways To Jump Outside Of Your Comfort Zone to Find Happiness

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3 Ways To Jump Outside Of Your Comfort Zone to Find Happiness

how to get out of your comfort zone

Picture your life like a Venn diagram. It’s comprised of three circles – the things you’re good at, the things you can get paid for, and the things you actually love doing. Now, each one of these circles overlaps so that there’s a small intersection of the three right in the middle. And when I say small, I really mean it: tiny, infinitesimal, absurdly minute.

You hear people say that you need to step outside of your comfort zone. In fact, there is often a graphical depiction of this, similar to my verbal picture above, that has a circle denoted as “your comfort zone,” and a tiny point way outside the circle denoted as “where the magic happens.” But what if I told you this was wrong? What if I told you that instead of the magic happening outside the circle of your comfort zone, it actually happens inside the intersection of the three circles of your life? Well, brace yourself, because that’s what I’m telling you.

However, living in the center of your life, residing in the triple overlap of your personal Venn diagram, is also a movement away from your comfort zone. It sounds counterintuitive, but it’s true. Trying to find the “thing” or group of things that you’re good at, can be paid for, and truly enjoy, is difficult. It’s a long journey on an uncomfortable path, one often laden with missteps, potholes, failures, but hopefully, ultimate triumphs.

But don’t fret! Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. No matter where you are in life, you should always be searching for the triple intersection of your life’s unique value. To help you on your path, when you wake up every morning, commit to the following three actions. If you can do it, day-after-day (don’t worry, not every day, no one’s perfect), you’ll eventually find yourself smack dab in the middle of your life’s Venn diagram, and far away from the numb comfort you once knew.

Keep a Morning Routine

Life always starts somewhere, right? Everything you do throughout the day builds off of some foundation – a firm layer on which you build your hopes and dreams. Unfortunately, many of us don’t even know we have a foundation, which means, often times it’s made of material as solid as sand.

When we talk about comfort zones, what we’re really saying is a feeling of numbness. A mindset of reactionary thought and action where our emotions dictate our reality, and not the other way around. What a terrible way to live. When you stay within your comfort zone, you’re letting the outside forces of the world enact upon you. You wake up, go to work, lose your energy, skip the gym, come home tired, drink a beer, and go to bed, only to do it all over again the next day.

However, if you focus on a morning routine, you can quickly change your foundation of sand into one of limestone and brick. Then, your thoughts, emotions, and actions that you experience throughout the day will be firmly planted on something positive, allowing you to actively make decisions that better your life. A morning routine makes it possible to intentionally move yourself from a random point on your triple Venn diagram toward your center.

The best part? Your morning routine is just that: yours! I always advocate for meditation and gratitude, but it’s for you to decide. However, if you’d like to heed my advice, then I’ll say it frankly: meditate for 15 – 20 minutes every morning and then immediately write down four things you’re grateful for. These simple actions will strengthen your mind to the point where you begin to act on the world, and not the other way around. Only then will you be able to confidently move outside your comfort zone and toward your center.

Focus on New Experiences

With a morning routine as your base, it’s now possible to have intention, which means you now have focus. With the groundwork taken care of each day, you can now drive forward with the most important aspect of stepping outside your comfort zone and finding center: having new experiences.

Experiences are the most important aspect of your life. In fact, they are your life. Think about it: at the end of the day, all life is is a collection of experiences and our memory of them. Staying within our comfort zones is synonymous with repeated experiences that provide nothing new and flavorful.

In order to step outside of our comfort zones it’s imperative that we push ourselves to have new and exciting experiences that force us to grow. Because in actuality, while a movement away from your comfort zone and toward your center sounds like a direction, what it actually is is growth.

Think about it like an obstacle to climb over as you move toward your center. When you’re meekly stuck within your zone of comfort, you’re too short, or too weak, to scale the wall. It takes dedicated effort to gain inches, or strength, in order to make it over the obstacle and continue your journey closer to your center. And the only way this is possible is to put yourself in foreign situations so you learn how to adapt.

Connect With Everybody

Now, I said that experiences were your life, remember? Good, just making sure you’re paying attention. Ok, well now let me rephrase. While you are your experiences, true joy in life comes from the connections we make with other people. We’re as much a summation of our feelings as we are a summation of our experiences.

The beauty of it is that new experiences naturally give you the opportunity to connect with new people. And here’s where it get’s more pragmatic because a lot of us don’t even know what the thing is that we love, are good at, and makes money. To be frank, I’m still figuring it out.

But guess what? You figure it out through connections and experiences! New people provide you with new perspectives so you have a greater chance of identifying where your true passion and purpose lie. And I’m sure you’re one step ahead of me, but your passion and purpose lies outside your comfort zone and smack dab in the center of your life. The more people you meet, the more people you connect with, the more data points you have to help guide your journey toward center.

Not to mention, we as a social species need human interaction, and the more connections you make, the more interactions you have, and the more cathartic your life becomes. Then, your mindset becomes increasingly positive, which gives you the drive to stick to a morning routine, which gives you the foundation to confidently seek new experiences, which allows you to meet new people, which sends you into a cyclical spiral of upward success. Then and only then will you be able to step away from your numb comfort and toward your center.

I think it’s time for you to start.

Evan is an author and business owner with experience in the technology sector. With an extensive background in corporate finance and business evaluation, and as a passionate contributor to technology startups, he’s a self-proclaimed “business nerd.”

Evan’s also a spirited writer who contributes nonfiction business articles to various online publications and pens full-length novels found on Amazon and other leading retailers. Each piece of writing, whether it be a one-page finance article or a 300-page fiction story, is meant to provide readers with lasting enjoyments and actionable takeaways that (hopefully) better their lives and encourage them to act.

Connect with him at www.evantarver.com and receive the first two chapters of his new novel, Life in Twenty-Something: A Story of Self-Discovery, free!

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5 Important Ways To Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

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Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

What Are Limiting Beliefs?

Whether we like it or not, our beliefs hold sway over our lives more than we care to admit.

In our health, we use excuses such as lacking the time and energy to start an exercise program.

In our relationships, we use excuses, such as work keeping us busy from building up the kinds of relationships we would really like.

In our wealth, we use excuses such as lack of business knowledge or capital to keep us from starting in the first place.

These beliefs are called limiting beliefs.

Thinking Equates Results

In each of these cases, our limiting beliefs creates the results that we keep seeing, which only strengthens those beliefs, which keeps limiting us and keeps us in bondage.

The simplest way to reinforce or change our limiting beliefs is to change the thinking that brings about those results in the first place.

When we are able to see changes in our results, we see that a change in our thinking has the power to change our lives.

Imagination Leads to Affirmations

It’s easy to say that we can change our results by changing our thinking. Yet, we have the chicken-and-the-egg problem. How can we affirm what we want when we have a hard time believing it in our hearts?

We have a discrepancy between what we think and what we are. In the end, what we are beats out what we want to think.

Imagination then is the key to affirmations. Imagination acts as a bridge between what’s now possible in our current reality and what seems impossible in a different reality. Imagination lets us jump from here to the impossible.

When you engage in the daily practice of visualization and affirmations, your thinking slowly changes over time. What was at one time impossible soon changes into what is possible.

You start to feel good because in your visualization, you are already the person you want to be. And of course that makes you feel good. Feeling good leads to you doing more of the same, even if right now it seems far-fetched and impossible. Overtime, you will start believing in what is impossible.

If you are feeling bad, then what you want is likely wrong for you. It’s really as simple as that.

We’re told to think logically. Only illogical, irrational people think with their feelings. When you are able to mix logic, rationality, and feeling good together, then you are headed in the right direction.

Shift Your Perception

If what you want still seems impossible by any stretch of the imagination, try shifting your perception. Ask yourself what someone who already has what you want or has done what you seek to accomplish would do in your shoes. Then take action and do as they would do.

Above all, be brave, embrace failure, and keep taking action. You will likely fail hundreds of times before you find success. Knowing what does not work is just as important as knowing what does work. After all, we learn as much more from our mistakes as we do from success.

Over time, you will build up your intuition, which only comes from building up experience and reference points. And the only way to build up experience and reference points so that you can then call upon your intuition is to just keep trying new things.

Meditate Daily

Meditation helps you to accept without judgement any thought that enters your mind. The only power a thought or belief has over us is when we choose to give it meaning.

Meditation serves another purpose: It builds up willpower. Willpower is like a muscle. It needs to be constantly worked out in order to get stronger. When we have strong willpower, then we will focus more and more on what we do want, which causes us to take action daily.

Everything suggested today is synergistic. When we visualize, we also start shifting our perceptions in the use our imaginations. This helps us see how to make what we want possible.

Because in our visualization we keep seeing what we really want as already fulfilled, we start living in that vibration. Something unexpected happens over time. We start building up future memory. Future memory is our memories occurring in the future. We put our minds into our future selves and ask what we did to get to here (in the future). Back in our present reality, we start doing and trying those things.

Putting It Together

If you dislike where your life is headed, start by looking at the results you are getting. Then change your thinking to change those results.

A change is thinking though is easier said than done, for our thinking mainly comes from the paradigms and mental models of other people.

This requires a creative use of our imaginations to leap to what we do want but seems impossible from where we currently are. Oftentimes, it is necessary to shift your perception in the use of your imagination. When you start feeling good about what you see in your visualizations, then you are heading in the right direction.

That positive feeling will come into play when you meditate and when you practice your affirmations, which only leads to you doing more of the same. When you can finally believe in yourself, you will start taking meaningful action towards what you do what. Overtime, you will start to break your limiting beliefs.

And even if you fail many times in the process of going after what you truly want, you are building up reference points and experience to hone your intuition.  Your intuition will in time guide you towards the right direction. But you can only build up your intuition by building up your experience and your reference points.

In other words, you have to take action.


Benson Wong works with engineers who are feeling burnt out and unfulfilled in their jobs find what it is that they really want to do and help them go get it. This often involves a shift in your perception and a strong change your thinking. It’s about first finding yourself. To get started today, claim your free blueprint containing 3 audiosets: How to Be More Confident, 3 Ways to Live the Life of Your Dreams, and How to Live a More Successful Life.

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10 Tips to STOP Yo-Yo Weight Loss and Regain Your Confidence

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10 Tips to STOP Yo-Yo Weight Loss & Regain Your Confidence

best way to lose weight

Doing a review of your weight loss and fat loss results can be a huge benefit. The only way to improve is to know where you went right or wrong. Getting at the truth behind your weight loss, fat loss and subsequent weight regain can sometimes be painful.

The bottom line: you want a healthy, lean body that will give you the best chance to live healthy for a long time! You need to know the reasons why your weight loss and fat loss efforts failed.

As a personal trainer, I have seen many reasons why people fail at weight loss and fat loss. Here are 10:

1. You MUST make a long-term commitment to change behavioral, eating, exercise and health habits.   That means you won’t quit even if you lose some battles along the way. One bad day or bad week won’t stop you—you will get back up and keep trying.

For example, part of a Penn State University study was to examine results found at the National Weight Control Registry (NWCR). For the past two decades, NWCR has focused on a single group of people. To qualify, they have to lose at least 30 pounds and keep the weight off for at least a year. The findings aren’t surprising. The participants were successful primarily because of the following habits:

  • Exercise at least an hour a day, almost every day
  • Follow a low-fat, low-sugar, low-calorie diet
  • Eat, more or less, the same foods all the time
  • Minimize TV watching
  • Eat breakfast

2. Don’t try to burn fat and lose weight all by your self. You need help to accomplish your weight loss goals. That could be a trainer, a friend, a spouse or other family member. Research proves that those who have weight loss buddies are more likely to succeed.

3. Some people are haphazard with workouts and eating habits. Consistency is critical if you want to succeed.

4. You have the wrong workout routine and you’re stuck doing the same workout week after week (with little or no results). It matters how you workout. A personal trainer can offer valuable guidance and feedback.

5. You’re not working hard enough. It takes hard, smart work to change your body composition.

6. You’re depending on a fat-burner supplement, powder or weight loss patch to change your body. Stop wasting your money! 

7. If you are afraid to set goals for fear of not reaching those goals, then you will find some way to sabotage your efforts. For example, you set low goals or no goals and that’s what you achieve—very little!

Or, your goals may be unrealistic.  Build your best body and not what you see on a magazine cover.

8. If you have low self worth, it will affect everything you do, including your efforts to change your body and lose weight. Somehow, you must workout because you’re worth it and its good for your health and lifestyle. This is a very positive behavior and will lead to permanent lifestyle changes.

9. You experienced quick weight loss without exercise and without fat loss. In other words, you didn’t change your body. You didn’t build muscle. You lost muscle mass. The weight came back on with a vengeance when you started to eat again and not starve yourself.

10. You can do your own weight loss and weight gain review. It will be well worth your time. Ultimately, you will succeed if you learn from your successes and failures. You can do it!

———-

Mark has been a fat loss expert and fitness author since 2006 and is the owner of Her Fitness Hut, My Fitness Hut, Sports Fitness Hut and Your Fitness University.  He has helped thousands transform their bodies to lean with lasting weight loss.  

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3 Ways to Automate Your Life and Be More Productive

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Be More Productive By Automating Your Life!

The decisions you are making in real time is killing your ability to be productive and get things done. I’ve found that  by making small changes in my daily routine I could boost my productivity many times over. The fewer decisions I make “in the moment ” the more likely I am to get things done. That means more time for the things and people I love.

If you automate certain tasks so that you don’t have to think about them, you’ll be less stressed and find that they actually get done. This makes you more efficient resulting in a day that flows more smoothly. For instance, if I take my gym clothes out the night before, I get to the gym with time to spare. No more procrastinating or dropping the ball because I “couldn’t find anything to wear” 

Many people think of automation as a process done via computer software. The truth is that you can automate any routine by simplifying it. This ultimately saves you time and brainpower. You can use those brain cells for more pressing matters like crossword puzzles and fun DIY projects.

Here are the top 3 things I automate or pre-plan in order to lower my stress levels and be more productive:

Meals

This is by far the chore that gives many of us, especially busy moms, the biggest headache. I’ve done meal plans in the past but never fully committed to the process. They were always an afterthought. At the suggestion of a friend, I picked it back up along with utilizing my crockpot. It’s been a total game-changer for me. It takes 5 minutes to crank out a meal plan and jot down a quick list of items I need from the grocery store then I stick it on the fridge as a reminder. Done and done! 

The rest of the week I know exactly what’s for dinner. I’m able to use those fine critical thinking skills elsewhere or I can take a load off and relax. 

Another timesaver is buying healthy food items that are pre-prepared for breakfast and lunch. However, the biggest time saver by far is meal prepping. Prepare your weekly lunches or dinners on Sunday and freeze them. If you know you’ll have a busy week ahead filled with late meetings and activities, then meal prepping to the rescue! There are a ton of recipes on Pinterest for this sole purpose so you can save that time as well.

Bills

Another way I free up valuable time and headspace is with automatic bill pay. I use auto-pay to pay all recurring bills. It’s a great way to set it and forget it. Many people are leery of auto-pay because they like to view their bills first. I understand because I used to share this sentiment, however, if a bill doesn’t fluctuate take advantage of auto-pay. You may even get a discount!

In this digital age, you can pay bills in minutes by going online and picking the date you want bills drafted. I highly recommend this as an item do knock off your to-do list. Use that hour to grab coffee with a friend!

Clothes

Another task that will save brainpower and frustration is picking out your clothes the night before. It’s an oldie but a goodie yet something most of us hate to do. The key is having the discipline to prepare your clothes the night consistently. It can positively affect your entire morning since it’s one less decision you have to make in the moment. Who wants to spend the morning haggling with kids or going through a million pair of pants?

If you have older kids, have them choose their own clothes on Sunday and iron them. I don’t have experience with older kids so this may come with some struggle but if you can get them to pitch in you’ll thank me later. There are even tools such as closet organizers that allow you to sort clothes by the day of the week. If you can remove this chore from your daily routine, you’ll have more time and energy each day for the things you enjoy.

I hope you’ve thought about some tasks you can streamline to make your life more enjoyable. Your time is better spent on hobbies, work, and family.  

What tasks do you automate or preplan that help you be more productive ? Leave a comment below!

Nia Hughes, is a freelance writer and digital marketer at Nia On Social  Nia’s specialty is copywriting and content marketing for small businesses and entrepreneurs in the health and beauty industry.

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5 Simple Ways To Skyrocket Your Concentration at Work

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5 Simple Ways To Skyrocket Your Concentration at Work

how to improve your concentration

Before you go on to read this, I want to ask you one thing.

Are you giving me your full attention?

Unfortunately, the answer is probably no.

Studies at the University of California suggest that our ability to focus has dropped dramatically over the last decade, particularly at work. And it looks like technology is the main culprit.

But do we really need studies to tell us that we’re struggling to concentrate?

I definitely don’t. I’ve struggled with focus for a long time.

As a freelancer and a Millennial, there seemed to be all the time in the day to get things done, and all the entertainment in the world to make sure that they weren’t going to get done immediately.

Every day distractions kicked in and they could easily turn 4 hours of work to 8. I always felt like I was behind on projects, staying up late trying to finish pieces that could have been done and dusted before lunch.

But at some point I just decided that wasn’t the way things were going to be anymore. I don’t remember exactly when I made the decision or why I did. I probably stumbled across an article similar to this one, took a concerted effort to turn the advice into action, and through trial and error, drastically improved my ability to focus in a matter of months.

I don’t really have the problem anymore. And neither should you. To be honest, what I learned about concentration is pretty simple to put into practice.

Improving my concentration has been a product of two things; structuring my routine to minimize sensory distractions, and strengthening my ability to focus to reduce emotional distractions.

These two factors: sensory distractions—such as your Facebook tab flashing while you’re trying to write a report—and emotional distractions—such as anxiety, fear, worry, or anger—are the biggest obstacles that prevent us from concentrating.

What I’ve composed here are 5 ways you can skyrocket your ability to concentrate at work, simply by working on breaking down these two factors:

  1. Remind yourself of the rewards and consequences

Going back to the basics of motivation and thinking about rewards and punishments is actually very beneficial. Most of us forget why we are doing things on a day to day basis, and that leaves our attention open to other avenues.

If you have your mind focused on why you are doing the work, whether it be to reach a larger goal, to feed your family, to move up in the company, or to travel at the end of the year, you will keep your motivation level high enough to stop you from being swayed by simple distractions.

Likewise, negative reinforcement can often be even more effective. What will happen if you don’t finish the job on time; will you miss spending time with your family? Will it stop you from the chance of a promotion? Will it mean you’ll have to skip going out with friends?

Write a list of both the rewards and consequences down on two separate post it notes, and keep them on either side of your desk.

  1. Set email, text and social media windows

These three are the biggest time killers in your life. And unfortunately, you can access them all directly from your computer.

What you need to do if you are to be productive at work, is to set specific windows for when you can and can’t use them. Email is best reserved for the morning, say between 9:30am and 10:00am, and the afternoon, say between 4pm and 4:30pm.  Text and Social Media should be used sparingly, no more than 20 minutes per work day. Give yourself 2 x 10 minute blocks, or 4 x 5 minute blocks. But outside of that have your phone on airplane mode and your social media accounts off (or blocked).

  1. Use web apps to keep you on track

When it comes to webs apps to boost productivity, there are dozens to consider. These can make a huge difference to your habits. I generally look for three types:

  • One to block websites for a pre-specified time, such as Self-Control or Focus
  • One to time my work with the Pomodoro method, such as the Marinara Timer
  • One to sync my documents, I find Evernote works well for me.
  1. Strengthen your focus muscle with exercises

Meditation is the quickest way to strengthen your ability to focus, and research suggests that it takes as little as 8 weeks to see measurable improvements. However, there are other ways to increase your attention span. Here are some practical ways to improve your concentration:

  • Practice mindfulness throughout the day
  • Memorizing facts or quotes
  • Exercise/stretch your body
  • Take cold showers
  • Read difficult books

Remember, much like in the same way you’d build your body in the gym over time, you don’t want to overexert yourself, but you also want to increase the mental weight.

  1. Listen to the right type of music

Music has been found to be a very powerful tool for workplace productivity. And that’s great, because there has never been an easier time to listen to music while you work. It’s important to know however that we’re not talking about just any type of music. Some types of music are better for energy, some for focus, and others for creativity.

For repetitive tasks that require little cognition, you want positive, up beat tunes—think Pharrell Williams: Happy. If you want to boost your creativity, leave out songs with lyrics, as your brain will instinctively try to comprehend them (unless they are in a foreign language), and this saps extra energy. For focus you want something repetitive, without many peaks or troughs.

As technology makes it easier to become distracted, your ability to concentrate will become an increasingly valuable professional asset.

Improving concentration doesn’t take a genius, it just takes someone who’s willing to focus on routine and consistent practice. Work on the tactics above and you’ll start to see your concentration at work skyrocket in no time.

Do you want to take the next step to consistent and longer-lasting concentration?

Grab a free copy of our new eBook: MORNING MASTERY: The Simple 20 Minute Routine For Long Lasting Energy, Laser-Sharp Focus, and Stress Free Living.

Ben is a freelance writer, and the co-creator of Project Monkey Mind—a new blog for the 21st century solopreneur and young professional who wants to lead a more free and fulfilling life.

 

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