Are you really open to change? Unfortunately, as we grow older we tend to become more and more reluctant to it. Our vision of the world being the result of years and years of daily habits and conditioning from society, it leaves very little space for real change or growth.

My sincere hope is that the quotes below will inspire you to make some changes in your life.

Here are the 19 quotes that will inspire you to change:

1) The major value in life is not what you get. The major value in life is what you become. – Jim Rohn

2) Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. – George Bernard Shaw

3) If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. – Maya Angelou

4) Nothing can change until we do. When we change our worlds will change. – Earl Nightingale

5) Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. ― Leo Tolstoy

6) Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. ― Rumi

7) We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault, because if you wanted to change you’re the one who has got to change. ― Katharine Hepburn, Me: Stories of My Life

8) Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.
― Wayne W. Dyer

9) No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself. ― Madonna

10) If you don’t like how things are, change it. You are not a tree. – Jim Rohn

11) Let him who would move the world first move himself. ― Socrates

12) Change is the end result of all true learning. ― Leo Buscaglia

13) The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. – Dan Millman

14) Change your thoughts and you change your world. ― Norman Vincent Peale

15) Change almost never fails because it’s too early. It almost always fails because it’s too late. ― Seth Godin

16) What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself. ― Abraham Maslow

17) The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking. – Albert Einstein

18) When you’re finished changing, you’re finished. – Benjamin Franklin

19) When in doubt, choose change. – Lily Leung

Here is a special bonus for you

Why not go one step further in your personal development journey? If you like this article you will greatly benefit from my free e-book. You can download it below:

The 5 Commandments of Personal Development

Thibaut Meurisse is the founder of whatispersonaldevelopment.org. Obsessed with improvement, he dedicates his life to finding the best possible ways to durably transform both his life and the lives of others. Check out his free e-book “The 5 Commandments of Personal Development” or order his new book “Goal Setting: The Ultimate Guide To Achieving Goals That Truly Excite You” now on Amazon.

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Burn-out (adjective) – to ruin one’s health or become completely exhausted through overwork.

Job burn-out involves the feelings of being physically, mentally and emotionally stressed or exhausted, leading many to question their career choice and value and contribution to the greater good of human kind.  While we all know that there are some occupations where burn-out tends to occur at a higher rate, we are all at risk for ruts, slumps and discouragement as many struggle to find a way to revitalize their roles. Since when did just “showing up” and “getting by” become sufficient? Showing up is just the beginning of how you can improve our mindset with the key being to redefine your environment and in that gain a new perspective for how you can make a difference in whatever job you have. On a side note, all the students reading this don’t think I am not talking directly to you as well, this applies to everyone!

Step 1: Show Up

“Showing up” starts not the moment you step into work in the morning, afternoon or evening.  Showing up starts the moment you wake up, get out of bed and initiate your pre-work routine. Here, positivity is the most important attribute of our mindset that we must create on a daily basis.  This state of mind is crucial, and must be verbalized again and again in order to instill within you the idea that you are to have the best day possible.  The way you speak to and about yourself has the power to influence actions and body language in a manner that sets you up for success.  Secondly, dressing appropriately is highly documented to influence our attitudes as well as the impressions others form about us. It’s amazing that something so simple can change the way we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us, so why not capitalize on this EVERY SINGLE DAY! Finally, being present in mind, body, and spirit from the second you “arrive” will not only improve your mindset but help you to work longer, harder and faster in a more focused manner.

Step 2: Create a Successful Environment

Our environment is composed primarily of people who surround us on a daily basis including our bosses, co-workers and support staff, people whom we spend 40+ hours a week with. In life, and work relationships are the single most important thing you can have in order to achieve true happiness. We are a product of our environments and thus need to surround ourselves with people who are going to make us successful and happy in every aspect of our work.  How does this help to rejuvenate us? Well, ask yourself this question, do you want to spend your work week surrounded by people you can’t stand, or would you rather work with people whom you care about, can open up to, share ideas with, and vent to? I think the answer is pretty clear.

Step 3:  Find Happiness In What You Do

This step requires you to dig deep into remembering what you fell in love with in the first place that has you doing what you do.  What was your draw to your current role or position?  For me, it is being able to help people cope with pain emotionally and physically, while pushing within their boundaries to help them succeed in achieving their goals to return to work, sports, and life in general.  It’s about the progress, and making strides little by little every single day towards a bigger goal.  Whether you are saving the world, working as an IT consultant, selling cars or managing a multi-million dollar company, find passion and love in what you do.

Step 4: Set and Accomplish Goals

Setting realistic, time-sensitive goals can have a huge impact on your work or school life.  Maybe it is as simple as writing a checklist and crossing things off (arguably the most satisfying feeling in the world), crushing your goals will remind you that you are on your way to success.  Setting daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals will help to keep you honest, but don’t forget to affirm your goals. Speak your goals in the morning when you wake up, tell someone about your goals, post them for others to see so that your network of loved ones, friends and co-workers can help you say honest in striving to reach them.

 Step 5: Separate Yourself

The benefit of step 1 is that while you are at work or school you are dedicating yourself 110% to what you are involved in, but don’t forget to separate yourself when you can from your work in order to mentally and physically re-tool.  Turn your phone off, spend time with loved ones, partake of a hobby, and release stress.  It is just as important to have the ability to rest, collect and organize your thoughts and RELAX as it is to perform at high level on a daily basis.

 Now that you know the steps, it’s time to go out and just do it. As we always say, “Don’t talk about it, be about!”

——–

by Dr. Bruce Buckman and Tom Kokosinski

Tom Kokosinski and Dr. Bruce Buckman are the creators and founders of the Best Mind, Body, Spirit – a motivational and inspirational blog and upcoming podcast aimed at helping readers and listeners figure out how to become successful and truly live their best life. It can be found at http://ift.tt/1QIOsva. The podcast will air on April 7.

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Does it ever feel like you are living in the midst of a hurricane with 150 mph winds? Over the last year, my life has often felt like I have been swept into a Stage 5 hurricane, as both of my children are dealing with very challenging illnesses and it has been deeply painful for this “mother’s heart.”  When life gets really overwhelming or seemingly out of control, the challenge is learning to stay centered, no matter what is happening in your life.

It sometimes feels like I am being torn apart limb by limb when the fierce winds of my mind (fear, despair, helplessness, sadness, etc.) suck me into their world. And yet I never stay caught in my mind for very long because I know that the calm place in the eye of the hurricane is always here. At times, that calm place can seem so far away. Those are the times when I am resisting what I am experiencing and in that resistance, the pain is actually intensified. When I can just relax and allow everything that is uncomfortable to just be here, the intensity calms down and I open into the vast healing and spaciousness that is always within me.

Whenever my mind is in the midst of a fierce storm and I get hooked by the voices in my head, I like to think about the image of an ocean. When you live on the surface of the ocean, you are totally at the mercy of the tides, the winds, and the storms. When you live by identifying with your mind, you become vulnerable to all the storms that your mind creates. You desperately hold on when a big storm hits and you may even send out an SOS (or two).  But right below the surface of the sea it is very calm. Inside of you, no matter what is happening in your life, is the calm, nourishing, healing spaciousness of who you really are.

Life goes through its seasons, and we all experience the winters of our lives when we are cracked open. What we forget is that winter with its wild storms is necessary so the rebirth of spring can happen. I love this quote by Cynthia Occelli: “For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.”  In other words, all the uncomfortable challenges you encounter are for you. The great hurricanes that come through your life are here to crack open the shell of your conditioned self so you can be truly alive.

During one of these hurricanes or any challenge you are facing, there are three very powerful tools I invite you to use when your mind is upset and your heart is closed so that you can show up for the ‘cracking open’ that Life is offering.

1. Allow a couple of long slow out-breaths.

Your out-breath is the key to turning on the calming aspect of your nervous system. It can be helpful to imagine blowing out a candle to lengthen your out-breath. Since I was a single parent for the majority of time my children were growing up, I sometimes joke with them that the reason they are alive today is because I was able to return to my breath over and over again!

2.  Ask yourself the question, “Who is here right now?”

You have a whole cast of characters inside of you and each one of them has its own view of the world. To recognize what is happening inside of you is a moment of healing. To acknowledge that anger is here, or maybe anxiousness, or even despair, is a moment when you are relating to what your mind is saying rather than from it. You can even give the different characters a name (make sure it is a kind name, even for the so-called unlikable parts) and say, “I see you.” I eventually found myself calling all of my wounded parts “Little One.”

3.  Bring your attention out of the stories in your head (the winds of the hurricane).

Bring your attention back to Life, right here, right now in this moment. The storyteller in your head lays all sorts of stories over the top of Life so you experience thoughts about Life rather than living Life. When you find yourself caught in your struggling mind, it helps immensely to realize that all the while you are paying attention to your struggling self, Life is unfolding around you in all of its aliveness, magic, and newness. Take a moment to really see, hear, and taste Life, for this is where the eye of the hurricane resides.

When the storms come, and they always do, remembering to use these three tools will help you to access your ‘natural calm’ and to discover what is asking to be seen and met inside of you. These tools can be used individually, in combination, or step-by-step, depending upon the particular challenge you are facing and your experience with these skills.

Trust what is calling to you and be gentle with yourself as you explore this process. After all, you have been listening to the stories your mind has been telling you for your entire Life (and believing every single word it says). Slowly and surely you will learn how to step out of your stories and bring your attention back to this present moment. This is when you can relax and allow the fierce winds of Life to blow through, as you rest in the eye of the hurricane.

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We’ve all experienced it.

We’ve all worried about starting up a one to one conversation at a party and coming across as weird or pushy. We’ve all fretted about walking up to someone and being rejected. We’ve all tried to keep a conversation going, only to find it sink like the Bismark, leaving you drowning with no lifeline.

Social situations can be painfully awkward. Too often they leave you feeling small, embarrassed, even dumb.

There are many reasons why you feel anxious at times like these:

• Fear of rejection.
• Worries that a situation will lead you to be singled out and embarrassed.
• Believing, often wrongly, that you are annoying or inconveniencing people.

However, you can learn not only to survive, but even to thrive in social encounters. You can learn to become comfortable in company, even if you weren’t born a social animal.

With a few simple proven hacks and a little social science you can save yourself from most awkward social situations. Here’s how…

1. Saying No Without Offending.

Sometimes you want, or have to, refuse a request or invitation from a friend or colleague, but saying no might hurt their feelings or offend them.

You can soften your refusal by giving a reason. Caldini in his famous book Influence, showed that people respond more positively if you provide a reason, even if the reason makes little sense:

“Hey Mark, thanks for thinking of me! Unfortunately I’m booked up for the next couple of months. Feel free to reach out again in [whatever time scale suits you – a couple of weeks or months] if you’re still interested and I’ll see about fitting it in. Cheers!”

You can soften the refusal even further by offering them an alternative option. Michael Roberto, a professor at Bryant University and the author of Why Great Leaders Don’t Take Yes for an Answer calls it ‘Extending them an olive branch’:

“I’d love to, but I’m really snowed under at the moment. Have you thought of checking out [resource/book/website/] – there’s some great stuff on there that might be what you’re looking for? Or maybe [work colleague/friend] can help you with that?”

2. Striking Up A Conversation Without Being Pushy.

At a social event you often want to start a one on one conversation but are worried about appearing too forward, especially if it is with someone of the opposite sex.

A fail-safe opener will allow you to break the ice:

“Hi, my name’s John…”
Or…
“Hi, great conference.”

You can continue the conversation in an approachable, non-threatening way by following up with an easy, open-ended question:

“Hi, my name’s John, what’s yours?”
Or…
“Hi, great conference. How’s it going for you?”

3. Mastering The Knack Of Small Talk.

Having started the conversation, the art of keeping it flowing naturally can be easily achieved with several simple methods:

Start off with a safe, topic you have in common – for instance how you came to be at that event, how you know the host, or something about the surroundings:

“How do you know [host’s name]?”
Or…
“What a great venue, it’s new to me. How did you find out about it?”

Listen carefully and repeat back key phrases as questions to keep the conversation going:

“Oh, so you met [host’s name] at college?” What did you major in?”
Or …
“So it’s not your first time here. Was it a similar sort of event you came to last time?”

4. Saying Goodbye The Easy Way.

Now you can start and keep a conversation going, you need to be able to end it without appearing brusque or bored.

When the time is up, give a warm but definite explanation as to why you need to leave:

“Hey [name], I hate to leave but I really have to go now, I promised to .”

Add in a compliment or good wishes for something that they have told you about:

“It’s been great chatting, good luck with [x]”
Or …
“…good wishes for the future.”

5. Recovering From Forgetting Their Name

Forgetting someone’s name is something most of us have experienced and something that often causes the most stress in social situations.

Instead of nervously trying to remember and hoping you won’t have to introduce them to anyone else, be sincere and upfront straight away and own up:

• Apologize for having a totally blank moment.
• Don’t make it a big deal – if you play it down, so will they.

“Hey, I’m really sorry. I’ve forgotten your name, I have the worst memory for names.”
Or…
“Hey, apologies. I have a problem hanging on to names and yours has just slipped my mind for a moment.”
Or…
“Ever have a blank moment? My memory is a shocker for names and I have to confess yours has escaped me for a second.”

6. Giving A Compliment Like A Pro.

Receiving a compliment often leaves you squirming in embarrassment, while giving one can be just as awkward.

A simple statement of how something you admire or appreciate in someone else or how something they did has benefited or inspired you is the best form of compliment:

“Hey Sam, I really admire how you are always so positive, even when things go wrong.”
Or…
“Can I just say that was awesome, the way you just… [whatever they wowed you with]”.
Or...
“You know, you made today great by… [whatever they did to brighten your world]”.

Precede it with a short explanation of why you are paying this compliment:

“Hey [name], I’ve known you for a while now and I’ve got to tell you [compliment].”
Or…
“Just in case no one’s said it lately, I’ve got to tell you [compliment].”
Or…
“You totally made my day today, I’ve got to say thank you for [compliment].”

7. Disagreeing Or Complaining Without Sounding Like A Jerk.

Most of us are programmed to avoid conflict but sometimes you just have to speak up.

Start with the smallest grain of common ground you can find in your opposing views. Show that you respect their view even though yours may differ:

“Hey, I appreciate what you’re saying about [x], you have a point there.”
Or…
“It’s great to share views, isn’t it. I can see where you’re coming from, absolutely.”

Calmly, logically and rationally explain your standpoint:

“However, I’m sure you agree that [x] needs to be fit for the purpose it was bought for?”
Or…
“I wonder though could there be another way to look at this? What I see is “.
Or…
“I guess we’ve had different, but equally valid experiences. In my case .”

8. Speaking Up In A Group With Confidence.

One of the most nerve-wracking social situations is overcoming your initial reluctance and making your voice heard.

Boost your confidence by starting off with a short audible agreement for someone else’s contribution:

“Hey, I’ve got to say I totally agree with [name]. Well said.”
Or…
“That’s a great point. I definitely agree.”

Forget trying to be clever or impress, be succinct. You’ll be most impressive by being yourself:

“I have an idea, might be worth sharing…”
Or…
“There’s been some great ideas offered here. I’ve a quick one to add…”
Or…
“I don’t claim to be any kind of expert, this is just observation but could be useful…”

9. Brushing Someone Off Without Seeming Rude.

Sometimes you simply don’t want to talk to someone because you either don’t like them of you’re simply too busy.

A warm smile and a positive greeting will allow you to take control of the conversation:

“Hey Mary, great to see you.”
Or…
“Hi John, haven’t seen you in a while. You’re looking great.”

Mention immediately that you would love to chat but you are pushed for time:

“I’d love to stop and chat but I’m pushed for time.”
Or …
“Please don’t think me rude but I promised to be somewhere and I’m running late.”
Or…
“This is such bad timing, I should have been somewhere twenty minutes ago.”

Leave them with an upbeat goodbye message:

“Take care and we’ll catch up later.”
Or..
“Have a great rest of day. Hope to bump into you again when I’m not chasing my tail.”
Or…
“Sorry I’m rushing. Good to see you looking so well.”

10. Talking To People Who Intimidate You.

Remember most intimidating people are way less confident than they seem – bullish tones are often cultivated to hide a lack of self-assurance.

If you are going to shake hands, put yours out first and grasp theirs firmly, but don’t over do it. Seize the conversation from the start with a topic you are most confident in, don’t let them dictate it:

“Hey, you know, I had a great result with [recent success]It’s really made the week. [expand].”
Or…
“Have you tried [author, activity, exercise regime, food]. I’ve just gotten into it and, what a difference it’s made.”
Or…
“I’d love to share a great experience I had last week. It might surprise you…”

Similarly end the conversation early, stay in control:

“It was great talking to you [name]. I’ve got to get going. See you around.”
Or …
“Thanks for that, really enjoyed it. Excuse me, have to be on my way.”
Or…
“Interesting chat. Looking forward to the next one, hopefully soon. Bye for now.”

Bio: Laura Tong is on a mission to help you boost your confidence and self-esteem. Download her free cheat sheet: 5 Guilt Free Ways To Say No Without Offending Anyone (Even If You Hate Conflict)

 

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Having an inferiority complex is like having recorder playing the same thing over and over in your head. Nobody is perfect that’s for sure! So many of us strive for perfection every day and yet it is difficult to quiet the voices in our head that haunt us about how inferior we are. You know what I mean. “He’s so handsome; he would never go out with a girl like me.” “I’ll never get that job; I’m just not smart enough.” “I’ll never drop this weight, I’ve tried everything and nothing works.”

However, if you don’t have the talents, skills or drive that you need to accomplish what it is you want, then you are only feeding the inferiority complex fuel to keep that recorder playing on autopilot whether you like it or not. Maybe it’s time for a change!

You developed your inferiority complex at some point in your past. There was a defining moment when it occurred. It could have been something that someone said. Perhaps you looked up to someone who was achieving what you wanted but you didn’t have the strategies in place and instead of making a change; you simply began bashing yourself over it. What’s the solution?

You might think you need to do a few more affirmations or go get hypnotized or worse yet, give up on your dreams all together as an answer. No, these aren’t good solutions. I can tell you that in order to get rid of your inferiority complex that you have been carrying around with you for what seems like a lifetime, you’ll need to start with two things. Yes, pretty simple right? I said simple but I didn’t say it would be easy. The first component is DECISION and the second is INTENTION. When you put these two things together, it’s like TNT! You must decide right here and right now that you will stop the negative talk. You need to have a greater intention to banish your inferiority complex forever! This is just a start though, you’ll need more ammunition So let’s get to it!.

The good news is that once you begin this process and put solid actionable strategies into place, you’ll really be unstoppable! But how? How to stop putting yourself down when it is a habit that you practice on a daily basis?

Below are strategies to get you on the right track to help you conquer your inferiority complex. Get serious though, you will never change your life if you don’t begin by changing your behavior. Don’t simply read this then move on, implement these strategies right away.

1 – Audit your life circle: First things first. You need to establish what is working and what is not working. If your career is going great but you are lacking confidence in the relationship area because you need to improve something, it’s time to be real and make some changes. Maybe you need to learn how to be a better communicator or listener. It’s up to you to discover what you need to change in any one part of your life to improve it and feel better about it in the long run.

2 – Replace negative words you say. It might be true that you’re clumsy, overweight, or uneducated. Nevertheless, that hardly suggests that you’re unintelligent or that you can’t be kinder to yourself. Make list of how you put yourself down and find a different, more positive way of saying it. You could say “I should practice being more graceful.” “I am glad that I am working towards being healthier by working out and eating better.” Also, make a list of your characteristics that make you feel inferior.

• Think of who around you makes you feel inferior. Successful people? Your co-worker, Your partner? In what ways do these people make you feel inferior? Can you gain a new skill that could make you feel better about yourself?

3 – Inferiority complexes may come from your inner desire to be like someone else. It’s a fantastic idea to have positive role models, someone who you can look up to or someone to learn strategies from. Avoid trying to be like them however, you’re likely to lose your individuality. You can’t impersonate someone else while being authentic to who you are in your soul.

• Analyze what aspects of this person whom you admire and take the positive aspect to incorporate. Never try comparing yourself with them at any point. You are you.

4 – Throw the baby out with the bath water. Believing that one of your flaws is the root to all of your life’s challenges is dangerous. This is far more common than we realize in our society. Remember, all of your problems won’t be solved once you lose those extra pounds or get married.

5 – Consider what will stop you from feeling inferior. Are you feeling inferior because you’re short? This is a situation that is not under your control. Analyze what you feel inferior about for a moment. Is overcoming this flaw within your control?

• Visualize how it would feel to have this new characteristic that you believe will make you a better person. Does it feel natural? Do you feel as if you’re pretending to be someone else? Does it feel within the realm of possibilities with time or perhaps gaining a new skill? Redefine and clarify your vision until you feel comfortable in it. Be patient.

6 – This is my favorite: Have a friend list your best qualities. It’s so much easier to have someone else look at your best qualities. You already know them but it feels great to have someone confirm them. This is a confidence boost! You may not have an accurate opinion of yourself, but a good friend could list your strengths. I like to pick their brain and ask for examples. It’s hard to believe someone sometimes so really delving into the nitty gritty is very helpful.

7 – Everyone needs a victory. It doesn’t matter what age you are, you need to focus on your wins; big or small. The great leaders of our world practice this every day and so should you! Getting to the gym, packing a healthy lunch or remembering to stay in touch with an old friend who needs encouragement are worthy accomplishments. We all fall down but it’s those you get back up are the successful ones. The truth is I bet you’re doing better than you think.

8 – It’s not all about you. We go through our day thinking that everyone knows our shortcomings; this is how inferiority becomes rooted in our minds. Most people in your circle don’t know that you’re a bit messy and more than likely they’re so wrapped up in their own flaws to even give yours a consideration. The truth is that most people aren’t thinking about you at all.

• It’s easy to prove to yourself. Next time you’re talking to your friends or family, notice how they are always complaining about something in their life. It’s not your flaws that is the topic of conversation. You’re much freer than you realize.

Feeling inferior is nothing new in our world. There is always someone whom is doing better than us. I bet you’re doing better in some way than someone else, aren’t you? Never allow your inferiority to someone get in your way to achieving success. Instead use it as a tool to drive yourself to be better and go out in the world and get what it is you want.

Conquering your inferiority complex is all about your ability to focus on your strengths, re-frame your self-talk, and keep in the front of your mind that no one is really watching anyway. That’s the bottom line. You can let go of your inferiority complex now with real strategies that will help you breathe a sigh of relief as well as a new level of confidence and freedom. Now, let’s continue the conversation and leave your comments below.

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About the author: Life Coach and Strategic Interventionist, Sharon Koenig is an author, entrepreneur and champion athlete. She has overcome adversity and now empowers and coaches others to move beyond their fears and limitations to reach their fullest potential in life and business. As a gift to you, she is sharing her “Success Toolkit” for FREE! Visit http://ift.tt/1UNVNfG.

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A few months ago I realized I’d reached my professional goals much earlier than my deadline of July 19th—my 25th birthday.

The feelings that followed were not of joy and elation like I expected, but rather shame and embarrassment.

I didn’t feel like the successful young man I thought I would. But why?

We live in a work-focused society where success is solely measured by monetary worth and progression on our career ladders.

Families and friends play into this idea, causing our professional lives to take full priority and gain our undivided attention, while our personal lives take a back seat and gradually fade into the background.

The reality was that I was going to hit 25 and be worlds away from the highly capable and well-rounded human being I wanted to be.

I only had several months to change that reality, so I set out on a mission.

That mission consisted of learning 19 life skills which I believe to be essential for any 25 year old (but it’s never too late to start no matter what your age!) Today, with 1 month to go and only a few skills left to master, I now want to share them with you.

Take the oath and join me in completing the list and becoming fully ready to make the most of everything the next chapter of our lives has to offer us.

1. How To Learn

Not knowing how to learn new skills is likely the reason you flunked your university exams, or gave up learning the guitar after only a few weeks. This one needs mastering before any of the others.

2. How To Dance

Salsa, Hip Hop, Bollywood, The Mexican Hat Dance; whatever your style, theirs a type of dance for it. Learning how to move your body and that of a partners is a must.

3. How To Swim

Learn to swim? How is that essential? Over 70% of the Earth’s surface is covered in water. If you don’t do it for the sheer thrill of curiosity and exploration, do it for the rising tides and increasing risk of flash floods.

4. How To Pick Up A Guy Or Girl

Many think learning pick up is sleazy and just down right weird. And it is—when used for the wrong reasons. For anyone with other things than sex on their mind—like finding love or starting a family—it’s common sense to learn how to approach and interact with people you find attractive.

5. How To Defend Yourself

We all think being robbed or kidnapped will never happen to us, until it does. Better to learn sooner rather than later.

6. How To Travel For Next To Nothing

We spend our 20’s complaining that, “If only I had the money I would travel the world”. Only to make enough money and then never finding the time to do it. The reality is you can travel for next to nothing—even making money in the process.

7. How To Sow

I don’t want to go through life stock piling clothes that need patching up for the next time I see my grandma. From sowing buttons and seams, to making adjustments and embroidering; learn the basic techniques and you’ll have a handy skill for life, master them all and you’ll have friends for life.

8. How To Make Your Signature Dish

Whether it’s mince pies or moussaka, paella or pot-au-feu, a signature dish is something you become known for. It’s many uses include making you popular among friends, and getting yourself out of tough arguments with family members.

9. How To Do Your Taxes

As long as I can avoid this one I will.

10. How To Party

A balanced life is one in which you put as much effort into play as you do into work. Get intoxicated, break the rules, and aim for nothing less than an A* in partying.

11. What Is Love

Love is something many people die without fully getting to grips with. Yet how can you love if you don’t fully understanding what love is? Love is not a person or a thing or even a set of feelings, it’s a form of energy that is shared when you truly connect with someone or something.

12. How To Not Give a Sh*t

Most of us struggle through life caring about things that don’t warrant even the slightest bit of our attention. We care about the rude attendant at the gas station, that our friend forgot our birthday, or even the stormy weather which stopped us going jogging this morning. When we care about these things, we are believing we are entitled to be happy at all times. Learn how to not sweat the small stuff.

13. Your Place In The Universe

There are around 8.8 billion habitable planets in our own galaxy, the Milky Way. There are at least 200 billion galaxies in the universe. Meaning there are around 100 billion habitable earth-like planets out there. Yet I’m not just talking about the physical universe, but the one inside your mind.

14. How To Be Mindful

Journaling, meditation, yoga, tai chi, pranayama, jogging; any activity or exercise that causes you to pause and reflect, get out of your head, or become more aware and in touch with the present, is a must have tool in having a long and healthy life.

15. How To Use The Internet

Much like the physical world, we are gifted the internet without so much as a small instruction manual on how to use it. Discover its full potential and master everything from setting up an email client and finding trustworthy information, to taking online courses and selling your own products and services.

16. How The Body Works

Can you imagine going on an 80-110 year trip in a car without knowing how to change a tire, what fuel it needs, and the importance of letting the engine cool? You wouldn’t get so far as the corner shop. Grasp a basic understanding of anatomy, biology, physiology, and psychology—as well as the Heimlich and CPR—if not for your own sake, then for that of others.

17. How To Have Great Sex

We think we know how to have sex. But there is a huge difference between having sex and having great sex. Think three minutes of grunting and panting and rabbit-like humping compared to setting off on a whirlwind journey to a multi-sensory and multi-orgasmic (for men and women) kingdom of pleasure.

18. How to Love Yourself

Learning to love yourself is arguably the most crucial and yet most overlooked skill on the list. In order to let your love for the world and for others shine through, it’s first necessary to center and solidify that source of love inside yourself. Deny yourself the love you deserve, and you deny the world a whole lot of loving.

19. How to Forget Your Age And Live Like A Child

Birthdays excite us—until we reach 25 and realize it’s all downhill from then on. This makes it the perfect time to throw useless numerical measurements of existence out the window and instead, adopt something a little more satisfying:

“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.” ― John Lennon

Want to hold back the clock and ensure you get the most out of every single day?

The post 19 Essential Life Skills Everyone Should Learn Before They’re 25 appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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It’s not easy…­­

Not all relationships make us feel like we’re living in a fairy tale.

In fact, relationships can be hard. Real hard.

They can cause us to totally lose ourselves. They can make us feel weighed down and even trapped.

Sometimes our relationship can lead us to lose confidence in ourselves, stop doing the things that are important to us, compromise our lives for our partner and sometimes our personality even starts to change.

This can happen for many reasons. Sometimes it’s our own fault. We get lazy and neglect areas of our life as soon as we enter into a relationship.

Other times it can be because our partner is insecure or mistrusting. They may make us feel guilty for doing the things that are important to us – and so we lose a big part of ourselves.

To help you figure out if you’re losing yourself (and if some big changes are needed in your life) here are 7 very reliable indicators.

1. You compromise your needs and interests to keep your partner happy

Do you feel guilty when you do the things you love? Do you somehow get the feeling that your partner doesn’t like you to do certain things…

For example hanging out with your friends or going to certain places that you really enjoy? And as a result you start to neglect those parts of your life in order to avoid conflict or feeling guilty?

If your partner is quite insecure, this can be a huge problem in a relationship as your partner will often prevent you from doing a lot of things that make them feel uncomfortable, even if these things are very important to you.

2. You seek your partner’s approval before making simple decisions

Are you afraid to make decisions without your partner’s approval? Do you worry that they will be unhappy with the decisions that you make? If so then you might also find that this makes you feel less independent and confident as a person.

As individuals we need to feel as though we are capable of making our own choices – we need to feel like our own person in order to not lose ourselves in our relationship.

3. Your social life is failing miserably

Let’s face it. It’s all too easy to neglect our social life when we first meet that prince charming or gorgeous girl. Naturally you become obsessed with each other at first glance and simply prefer each other’s company above all other. And slowly you start to fall away from your friends.

But then one day after the butterflies start to wear off and you begin craving that regular social life again, you realize that you’ve got yourself into a bit of a rut. You’ve lost touch with a lot of friends.

This not only makes us feel lonely but can have a big impact on our level of self-confidence and can make us feel overly dependent on our partner.

4. You deeply miss the freedom of a single life

Do you feel a bit like a bird with clipped wings and like you don’t have the freedom to do the things you love?

A relationship should really be a place where we feel more supported than ever. Our partner should be the one person who encourages us to do the things that we love and that make us happy. Unfortunately however this is not always the case – and that can really cause us to lose ourselves in our relationship.

5. You’ve lost sight of your dreams and passions

Did you used to be a dreamer? Were you more determined and motivated in the past to work towards your goals? Often when we feel like we have lost ourselves in our relationship, it’s because we have pushed our dreams, passions and desires to the side.

Maybe you feel like your partner doesn’t like it when you’re too ambitious or passionate or perhaps you just got lazy overtime. Our dreams and passions give us a sense of purpose, importance and individuality in our lives. They play a huge role in making us who we are.

6. Your self-confidence is lacking more than ever

Have you gone from being a reasonably confident and self-assured person to feeling needy and dependent on your partner?

When we seek our partner’s approval too often, become overly dependent on our partner, neglect our social life and lose sight of who we truly are – like mentioned above – our self-confidence naturally starts to drop.

Self-confidence is a by-product of having a strong sense of self, feeling like we’re achieving our personal goals and aspirations and feeling able and independent. Losing self-confidence while in a relationship is a sure sign that you’re starting to lose yourself.

7. You’re desperate to feel like ‘you’ again!

Are you feeling frustrated with the way your life looks at the moment? Do you feel a strong urge to start living your life differently to how your partner wants you to live or how you are currently living?

Are you desperate to reclaim a strong sense of identity and self-confidence again? If so then I think it’s fair to say that you’re struggling to be yourself in your relationship. And that it’s time for some changes!

IT’S TIME TO RECLAIM YOURSELF

There’s nothing worse than feeling like you don’t know who you are anymore. Feeling weighed down, insecure, needy, dependent, like you don’t have the freedom to do the things you love – these are all things that you shouldn’t have to live with.

It’s time to claim back your identity, your self-confidence and start being ‘you’ again!

Only you have control over your life – at the end of the day, you give the final vote to how you should be living your life.

Think about the changes that need to be made in your life. Talk to your partner about how you feel. And have the courage to make the necessary changes so that you can reclaim yourself!

Hopefully your partner will make some necessary changes too and support you.

Whatever happens, just remind yourself that you are valuable and that you deserve to be a confident, independent and happy person.

To help you reclaim yourself, check out my new book: RECLAIM YOURSELF: Get Back Your Identity and Self-Confidence When You’ve Lost Yourself in a Relationship.

In my book I provide many powerful and simple strategies that you can use immediately to start being ‘you’ again. Not only will it help you to find yourself again but your relationship will also transform. Grab you copy here.

Chantalle Blikman is a writer and co-founder of Want2discover. Visit her website for more great articles on self-improvement and how to live a fulfilling and meaningful life. Be sure to download a copy of her new book: RECLAIM YOURSELF: Get Back Your Identity and Self-Confidence When You’ve Lost Yourself in a Relationship.

The post 7 Ways to Tell if You’re Losing Yourself in Your Relationship appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

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Do you remember when you were young, and people used to tell you that breakfast was the most important meal of the day?

The advice was so cliché that it became stale. So by the time you were in college you probably skipped breakfast all the time.

It turns out, this was actually really good advice.

But this goes far beyond just breakfast. How we start out day in other ways is equally important.

A lot has been said about how successful people start their day. We want to know the little tricks and tips that contribute to their achievements, and if we look at their morning routines, we soon see some patterns emerge.

What’s equally important though, is to study failure. So here are some things that successful people NEVER do. If you notice any on the list sound a little too familiar, get to work on banishing them for good.

Here are 7 morning mistakes that successful people never make:

1. Starting the day without warming up their body.

Have you ever seen a cat or dog get up after lying down? They typically stand up and stretch their bodies before jumping into action.

Our bodies also need warming up before they get going, and in fact, because of the sedentary nature of modern life, we need a lot more than the occasional quick stretch.

Start your day with some form of challenging physical exercise, whether its weight lifting, running or yoga and you’ll immediately start to see a massive increase in your energy levels and focus across the first half of the day.

2. Hitting the Snooze Button.

When you wake up to an alarm you have a choice to make, and this choice sets the tone for the rest of your day.

If you choose to the hit the snooze button, you’ll be missing out on a great opportunity to strengthen your willpower.

Successful people choose to get up when the alarm goes off every day. They know how important it is to hit the ground running, so they don’t entertain sleepy rationalizations about why they should stay in bed.

Try keeping your alarm far away enough that you have to stand up and walk to turn it off. That way you won’t be tempted to instinctively hit snooze and roll over.

3. Waking up next to their phone (or tablet or laptop).

Turning to your cell phone or tablet as soon you wake up is a terrible way to start the day.

What happens when we check emails or texts is that we immediately kick our thoughts into over-drive. That means you don’t get the adequate quiet time your brain needs to start the day effectively.

Add to this that electronics with LED screens give off what is known as blue light. This type of light tricks your brain in to thinking it is still daylight, which—when kept next to your bed—can make it harder to fall asleep and get the same amount of deep sleep every night. The general health risks of cell phones aren’t yet clear, though the World Health Organization has warned that usage may be linked to cancer—so keep it out of reach, or better yet in another room.

If you are going to set an alarm, it’s much better to do so on a watch or traditional alarm clock than with a smart phone. It’s easy to swipe your phone and then, in your sleepy state, get sucked into the vortex of email and social media.

4. Eating the wrong foods.

Do you start your day with coffee and toast? Or even worse, sugar-covered cereals?

Though these may seem like quick solutions to a rushed morning, they are not giving you the energy you need to take on the day. Both sugar and caffeine give you a quick boost of energy, but they’ll cause you to crash earlier in the day.

What you want is something that has slow-release carbohydrates, is high in fibre, and preferably has some protein. A bowl of oatmeal with some fresh fruit and nuts is a good example of a meal that ticks all the boxes.

5. Watch T.V. (Or YouTube)

Watching T.V should be a reward for a long day, not something you do instinctively when you wake up. Most people feel the need to watch the news first think in the morning to catch up with the world. But most news is rehashing’s of old stories and just leaves you either angry or a little confused.

“Anything important in the news will get to you within 24 hours.” – Anonymous

In fact, in our age of social media, this is probably more like 12 hours.

6. Leaving the House without a To Do List.

Ask any successful person you know and chances are they have a to-do list. They not only help get you focused, but they calm a lot of peripheral anxiety around the vague cloud of ‘what needs to be done.’

It’s as simple as writing down the one most important thing that needs to get done. Do so on paper rather than a computer, and make sure to carry the piece of paper round in your pocket all day.

7. Forgetting to practice gratitude

The scientific benefits of practicing gratitude are not to be overlooked. Research by psychologist Robert Emmons at UC Davis found that well-being and life satisfaction can significantly be increased by keeping a gratitude journal.

These habits are very commonplace for the majority of people. Take a concerted effort to make your morning free of these 7 mistakes, and you’ll start each day off with the momentum you need to guarantee success.

Would you like to take complete control of your mornings?

Then grab a FREE copy of our new eBook: Morning Mastery: the simple 20 minute routine for long-lasting energy, laser-sharp focus, and stress free living

————–

Ben is a freelance writer, and the co-creator of Project Money Mind – a blog for the 21^st century solopreneur and young professional who wants to chase their dreams and create a world changing life.

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Hating Monday mornings and living on paychecks is not the way to live life. Instead of lashing out at your current situation, you should see what you need to change your life.

We are not here to pay bills and die. We are here to live our lives joyfully, without worrying about anything (or at least minimize worry and fear)

When we do what we love we actually are more likely to be successful, happier and healthier.

If you don’t want to work a single day in your life, then you should start doing the things which you really love and make your living with that work.

Here I’m going to give you the top 11 reasons that why you should resign your job and do only the things what you love.

11 Reasons Why You Should Do The Things You Love

1. Because you will be more productive.

Doing what you love will make you more engaged and dedicated towards your work and you will feel more productive and enthusiastic in doing those things.

When you absolutely love your work, you won’t feel tired anymore, moreover, it will always be fun doing all the tasks. Hence, you will find yourself more productive.

2. Because you will always remain motivated.

Keeping yourself up for an extra hour, doing work vigorously, taking no offs are the signs that you’ll find in yourself when you’re doing things what you love.

It always gives you extra motivation to meet your goals, and when you do that, the sense of accomplishment is outstanding.

3. Because you will feel more fulfilled.

Even after achieving huge success in life, people often seek personal fulfillment and peace in their lives.

Your life is much more than getting paid and having fat paychecks. You’ll feel fulfilled only when you see yourself growing and grooming with your work.

4. Because you will never make excuses anymore.

We are good at making excuses. We always try to get off the tasks we have been assigned because we really don’t want to do unless we’re compelled to do.

But, if you choose the kind of work you want to do then you will never make excuses in your life anymore.

5. Because your work will not feel like a chore to you.

If you are only doing the things which are driven by your passion then it will never leave you in boredom. Because you’ve chosen this and it will not be a chore to you.

You will always enjoy doing your tasks and it will always be much easier for you to get even through the hardships.

6. You will push yourself to succeed even more.

If you work on the areas of your interests, you will always try to make yourself better and better every single day, which eventually will make you more successful in achieving your hierarchy ambitions in life.

Moreover, you will never need external motivation which will force you to work because you will always be up for the given tasks.

7. You will serve others better

If you’re going to work with all your heart in a particular task, you will find yourself a complete change human being. You will always try to serve better to your customers and colleagues.

After all, spreading and receiving love and happiness is all that we wish in our lives.

8. You will be always up for the new challenges.

Challenges make us strong and you will never avoid them if you really work with all your heart.

In fact, you will always be fascinated by them, because obstacles inspire us and they make us even stronger with the passage of time.

9. You will always find yourself Learning and Improving.

If you are passionate enough about your job, you are more likely to take interests in learning every aspect of it.

You will always find yourself learning and improving with the time which is definitely a good thing for the overall success for every individual.

10. You will become an effective leader.

Leading the team, taking bold decisions is what a leader does. When you love your work and you’re passionately grinding for it, people will see you working and they are more likely to follow you.

Without deep conviction for the work you do, you cannot convince anybody to work for you. If you are more engaged in your work, you’re going to become an effective leader.

11. You will never procrastinate.

Have you ever wondered, why we procrastinate? We do it only because we don’t feel like doing it and we don’t find ourselves motivated enough to work on it.

When you do the tasks you love, you will never procrastinate. Moreover, you will love to hustle more and more. To help you out to beat procrastination, you can download my free The Cheat Sheet to Beat Procrastination.

Grab your book through this link and start getting things done from today itself.

Vishnu Verma writes at Calling Dreams, where he inspire people to pursue dreams. He hates procrastination and love his dreams. Check out his free e-book, The Cheat Sheet To Beat Procrastination.

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It’s easy to be distracted by the nonsense of life. Besides our purpose, we need other day-to-day, positive focuses in order to maintain a healthy and happy perspective. A list of goals may bring you the positive direction you need.

I realized a couple of years ago that I needed a new focus after my divorce. When married, I felt like I was living a ‘status quo’ life. I rarely pursued the things I wanted nor did I make an effort to achieve them. I felt unfulfilled in life. What was holding me back? Me.

You’ve heard my story, and you probably realize by now that I was my own worst enemy. Don’t let this happen to you. Think about your life and what’s missing. What have you always wanted to be? What have you always wanted to accomplish? Where have you always wanted to travel? What have you always wanted to see?

With my clean start, I created a bucket list. It helps me focus on what I want to accomplish, experience and see before I die.

Make your own list, too. Don’t waste your time like I did, continually putting off the things you want the most. Don’t sit back and watch life pass you by anymore. As you complete specific items, replace them with something else. This list will evolve as you progress through life.

Where do you start? By stealing my list! Use my list as an example and start experiencing the life you want most.

• Vacation in an igloo village in Finland.
• Set foot on all seven continents.
• Sip espresso in a café in Italy with Sammy while peering over the ancient ruins of Rome (completed in the fall of 2014).
• Write a book (completed in 2015).
• Learn how to swim well.
• Learn how to dance without thinking.
• Be paid for what I love talking about the most (my book).
• Attend the Olympic Games.
• Ride a hot air balloon in Egypt.
• Ride on the Singapore Flyer, the second-tallest Ferris wheel in the world.
• Ride on a Ggondola in Venice, Italy (completed in the fall of 2014).
• Go on a safari in the Maasai Mara National Reserve in Kenya.
• Bathe in the Blue Lagoon Geothermal Spa, a massive geothermal pool inside a lava field in Grindavik, Iceland.
• Visit Machu Picchu, the lost city of the Incas.
• Swim with dolphins.
• Visit the Eiffel Tower (completed in the fall of 2014).
• Visit the White House.
• Take a helicopter tour over Kauai, Hawaii, filming location for the original movie Jurassic Park.
• Forgive daily and let go of grudges (eternal work in progress).
• Attend the next White Sox World Series.
• See a performance at the Sydney Opera House (will complete May 7th, 2016 on my honeymoon :)).
• Visit Easter Island.
• Visit Patagonia in South America.
• Reach the top 20 in Amazon sales for self-improvement book Redefine Yourself.
• Marry Sammy (will complete April 30th, 2016 :)).
• Raise children.
• Volunteer for at least two hours per week.

REFLECTION SECTION

1. Awareness: Are you living the life you want? Describe two goals you have always wanted to achieve. What obstacles have you faced while pursuing these goals? If you haven’t pursued them, why not?
2. Acceptance: Can you accept the responsibility of creating the life you want?
3. Adaptation: Describe at least two answers for each of the following questions and start compiling your bucket list.

• What have you always wanted to be?
• What have you always wanted to accomplish?
• Where have you always wanted to travel?
• What have you always wanted to see?

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Michael Moody is the author of the self-improvement book Redefine Yourself: The Simple Guide to Happiness and the former fitness expert on NBC’s The Biggest Loser/MSN Chicago tour. The owner of the successful Chicago personal training business Michael Moody Fitness, his fitness and life-structure programs have helped his clients lose more than 2,500 pounds since 2005. Michael has been featured in Muscle & Fitness and Today’s Chicago Woman magazines, among others. During his time as the official trainer for PBS’s The Whitney Reynolds Show, he also produced an inspirational segment about his travels in Guatemala.

Having researched emotion and coping behaviors in university-level studies, Michael has presented various fitness, motivation, body image, and stress-management programs at Illinois State University, DePaul University, corporations, high schools, and workshops.

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