Along my path and travels, I’ve found much inspiration and perspective through the people I’ve met along the way. These are people who challenge my limitations, invite new perspectives and ideas and simply make me see things differently. I’ve come to realize that who we choose to allow into our lives is one of the top influences to the quality of life we experience. We become the people we surround ourselves with- it’s so true. When I travel, I often find myself meeting people that I may not approach or stumble upon in my own city. Travelers are often explorers seeking expansive experience and opening their minds and hearts to what he world has to offer. I’ve found myself gravitating to people who think this way in my own city as well, although its sometimes a challenge when we are comfortable and not forced to approach people spontaneously. But I make it a priority because people who uplift, inspire, support, encourage and challenge are the people we deserve in our lives.  Most importantly, I enjoy spending my time with people who I truly connect with. In focusing on building those relationships with the people who I feel I resonate with, I’ve come to see 3 qualities that are often present when I’m truly connecting with someone. When we ask ourselves these questions, the answers become clear.

1 Does it feel natural?

I’ve found the best relationships to spark and grow in freedom and without much thought. They’re totally natural. We don’t over think, adjust or limit our authentic expression with each other. We feel free to be ourselves, to express different emotions and simply give ourselves the permission to be who we are. This kind of dynamic creates the space to truly connect. I’ve found that some of the most inspiring and authentic connections happened spontaneously, without expectation and in freedom.

2 Do we share similar passions and values?

We know someone is on our level when we can hold a conversation with them that captures our interest and keeps us engaged. For example, when I meet someone who is into travel, personal growth, writing and creativity or health and wellness, I get excited and feel more connected to them. I can relate. I am genuinely interested in getting to know the other and we are able to find common ground. We can talk for hours…seriously! I’ve found that in living my own passion and vision, the people I’ve met along the way who share similar passions support my passion- we feed each others’ passion. It’s amazing. It may be that we are interested in the same activities, however what I’ve found to be even more important is shared values.  For example, If I meet someone who also values growth and challenge, the way they go about living that value may be different from me, but we are still standing on the same ground and are able to relate to each other. They may have a YouTube channel, while I use my blog; we both value creativity and self expression. There are so many right ways to live the same value.

3 How Do I Feel in My Body?

This is perhaps the most important thing to pay attention to when we want to grow with and truly feel connected to the people around us. Danielle LaPorte, a woman who inspires me every day, has written “The Desire Map”, a book that describes how we go about setting goals by first identifying the way we want to feel. By knowing our “Core Desired Feelings” we are able to align our actions and choices, including who we spend our time with, to feel the way we desire. We want to feel good with the people around us, we want to feel energized, inspired, supported, fulfilled and connected. When we pay attention to how we feel and trust our instinct, the answers become clear. A great way to get clear is to do a 10 second gut check and ask ourselves the question, “Do I feel good, energized, at ease and connected with this person?”  Our instinct doesn’t life. Sometimes it’s about being really honest with ourselves and having the courage to trust the quiet voice within. From there, we will know who is meant to be in our lives.

Julie is passionate about everything personal growth and wellness, living the Wholehearted  journey and sharing it on her blog, http://ift.tt/1pooQtm

The post 3 Ways To Know if You Are Truly Connecting with Someone appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

http://ift.tt/1Bab2Vo

So I’m going to turn 30 this year. Yep. The big Three ‘O’. And this is a post compiling what I’ve learnt and how they can inspire you.

My “credentials”?

My dad died of ALS when I was only 20, exactly two months before I enrolled into college. Despite graduating, I don’t work a conventional job. I’m doing my own thing now by being a writer and have finally hit success after a few years. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for over two years now. To throw in to the mix, I’ve had my heartbroken many times before.

Basically, I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs. I’m very grateful for the life I have, but from time to time, I do wonder why I’m dealt such a lousy hand.

Nonetheless, I still and always will fight hard for what I want.

1) Life is a mystery and that is a fact

Frankly, I don’t even know why my dad died. He got ALS one day and we knew there was no cure. That was it. After two years, he went away peacefully.

Seeing someone you grew up with go like that is extremely surreal and painful at the same time. It’s weird even. And sometimes, it’s no use fighting it.

You just try to make do with what you have.

2) Love your parents for they’re growing old while you’re growing up

And yup. Cherish your loved ones, especially your parents. While you’re growing up and learning about life your own way today, they’re only growing older.

3) Love is just a crazy energy that comes and goes as it pleases

You know, because sometimes you unexpectedly meet somebody and have perfect chemistry, while other times you’re seemingly forced into a breakup for reasons you cannot comprehend.

Love is indeed a crazy energy. So don’t be too shocked or sad when it comes and goes. Be grateful for the experience.

4) Don’t judge people because people are never what they seem

In other words, don’t perceive somebody according to their various labels.

My first girlfriend was a girl I met in church. She wanted the best for me through her religion and I thought that meant she couldn’t be that bad.

She cheated on me in the end and I had to find that out from her best friend.

So never judge somebody and base them on your own beliefs and ideas. People are not what they seem for everybody has their secrets.

5) Yet, learn how to judge people the right way

Although judging people is considered wrong by most, I personally think we can’t help it, so we might as well do it the right way.

For example, if you meet somebody for the first time and they’re extremely rude to the waiter, dump them. You don’t need such disrespectful people in your life.

6) Quit your job to do what you love only when it makes sense

I quit my job and jumped into starting my blog without knowing a damn thing. My savings depleted extremely fast and I felt miserable for a long time.

Don’t quit your job just because most successful people did it. Do it only when it makes sense. You do need the stability to fund and give you the drive to do what you love. Otherwise, you may end up making desperate decisions just to make money.

7) Money is important, but the bottom line is whether you want to chase it

To say money is important is naive and even arrogant.

Yet, as counter-intuitive as it sounds, if you do work specifically only to make money, you most likely won’t make much. It’s only when you come across as authentic and provide major value would you be able to make something people are willing to buy.

8) Be very wary of people who use flowery language 

“You’re lucky now cause I’m on my break” and “I don’t normally do this for others, but for you I will” are a couple of classics I came across many times.

It’s extremely easy to use mere words to come across as nice. Be wary of such people. They will be back for favors for sure.

9) People change, get over it

I’ve fallen out with over a handful of friends because I realized they are pretty toxic. And it was sad because they didn’t use to be like that.

But well, people change. It can’t be helped. It’s best to just move on.

10) Passion is not a golden ticket that solves all your problems

I’ve heard many people preaching, “Do what you love, and the rest will take care of itself.”

I think that’s bullshit. Passion or following your heart doesn’t solve problems.

Hard work and consistent effort do. That being said, passion doesn’t make you feel on top of the world all the time.

11) The world is not a secret place the media makes it out to be

I’ve been to the rural parts of Thailand myself and also interviewed a fellow location-independent blogger who’s been to more places.

Indeed, the world isn’t that scary. If you’re sensible and make smart choices, you’re safe. So don’t be scared. Travel!

12) Embrace your introvert side

Feel out of place at a party? Constantly disagreeing with the conversation your friends have? Don’t like to go out on weekends?

That’s okay. That’s great even. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you and you’re certainly not weird.

Don’t ever let anyone sway you. Embrace your introvert side and keep growing the way you like it, alone.

13) Feel uncomfortable and do it anyway

That’s how you get out of your comfort zone. That’s how you stop procrastinating.

The main point is, you’re not supposed to feel super awesome about it. In fact, you may not even know what results you will get.

But at least, there are results. So just do it anyway. No excuses.

14) You’re not your job

You, [Insert your name] is not based on how high your income is, what you do at work, how much time you spend in the office and certainly not what your crappy boss says about you.

You’re many more things, like passion, love, ideas, worldviews or the difference you made in someone else’s life.

So don’t bring your job home. Clock out and that is that.

15) Don’t be too quick to criticize or punish somebody

You’re not perfect either. You make mistakes too and there’s a chance you will make the same mistake as others.

16) You don’t have to be first place in your passion

Passion isn’t about competition all the time. It’s good to push yourself and be motivated by prizes, but remember that passion is about expressing your art, craft and imbuing yourself in it whole.

Remember to have fun too.

17) Success is individual

Thus, stop comparing with others. It doesn’t matter if you’re not making millions or have adoring fans like a celebrity.

You have your own unique challenges and hence your own unique form of success. Embrace that and your true path will be revealed.

18) Enjoy school while you can

Because when you’re out there in the world, it’s back to square one. It is only when school is over you’ll start to wonder if this (likely your job) is all you’re going to do for the rest of your life.

19) Breakups hurt, but you’ll be fine

It hurts like mad. You may get depressed even.

But relax. You’ll be fine. Everybody goes through heartbreak. If they can get by, so can you.

20) If you don’t want to feel like an old fart, then start hanging out with people who don’t

Honestly, I always dreaded the big Three-‘O’. I thought I would feel old, sluggish and be forced into social norms.

But age is truly what you make it up to be. You can do anything you want. And if you want to feel like you belong, just hang out with others of the same age or older who still do what they love.

Age is just a number, but life can’t be made with numbers. You make it with real experience.

So make it awesome, memorable and incredible.

Something awesome for Pick The Brain Readers!

I hope you enjoyed the article! Want more ways to be happy?

Then you’re going to want my book. It’s free! Here it is:

12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**K About!

Time to shed the crap in life and start being happy! This free book is only available through this link to Alden Tan.

Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. His two main passions are Bboying and writing. Check out his free report, 12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About!

The post 20 Groovy Life Lessons I’ve learned Before 30 appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

http://ift.tt/1CqKMFE

“Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.” – Bertrand Russell

Last year, I had a vague idea of what I wanted to do in life. Although it wasn’t crystal clear, because I lacked confidence enough as it was and giving the people closest around me a reason to put me down was quite honestly, too much to bear.

I wanted to inspire people. I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to finally join a gym.

But most of my goals seemed so out of sync with what everyone else in my area was doing, that if I tried to take a different path they might never let me hear the end of it. That’s where the change came in. I had a bit of an epiphany during the commence of 2014, and realized that I can’t live my life in constant fear of what the people around me will think.

There are a few things I had to change in order to let go of this fear of others opinions and become more independent. So this advice is to help anyone else reading who is stopping themselves from doing something purely because of someone else’s opinion.

1) Meet New People With Similar Ambitions

They say that more often than not, you turn out just like the 5 people you hang around with the most. Fear is an important factor within this statement, because hanging around with people just like you makes it a lot easier to do what you love and embrace it!

When I first decided I wanted to start a blog, I didn’t know anyone else that ran their own blog at all. None of my current friends did that’s for sure. That all changed within the first couple of months, as I began to connect with people running blogs who are setting out on very similar quests to my own, and it made things much easier for me as they were always there for support, advice and like-minded conversation.

It’s not to say that I forgot my existing friends, because if they’re great friends and they’ve always been there for me, why would I want to drop them for other people? It’s just worth bearing in mind that meeting new people on the same wavelength as you, can give you all the support and direction you need from a friend’s perspective.

2) Remove the Negativity From Around You

As far as my story goes, many of my old friends had a negative outlook on life, or more of a negative attitude towards it if you like. Which made it incredibly easy for them to put people’s opinions down.

For example, when I first suggested that I was going to join a gym, I was met with painful laughter from a few people, which I had to try and shake off. I’ve bulked up a lot since then and surprised many people in the process, but it wasn’t done without first removing this negativity from my life.

I started to withdraw myself from those people that were causing me doubt and emotional struggles, so that I’d be able to express myself more easily within groups and be comfortable sharing my goals with other people.

It’s helped me a great deal over the past year and got me further than ever before, so removing the negative and poor friends from your life can be a very important step in becoming more confident within your surroundings and losing the fear of others opinions.

3) Focus on the Friends You Trust

You probably have many different types of friends, but there will always be a select few that you trust highly. The ones that have always been there for you and supported you no matter what.If you’re ever looking for someone to talk to, these trustworthy friends of yours are definitely the people to go to because they should be understanding and incredibly helpful.

Back when I first wanted to start expressing my ideas and become more confident as an individual, I would talk to two or three friends singularly. I would share my goals, my new ideas and opinions on things, and they’d listen and it would actually turn into a great conversation.

These talks gave me a huge confidence boost because I now knew that some people understood and didn’t go against what I was talking about. So, gradually I began to open myself up to other friends within the circle, and it wasn’t long before things changed – I became more relaxed and my goals started to become reality.

Start with the friends you trust completely, and gradually open yourself up to people. It’s no good trying to conquer your fear by facing a large group of people right away. Build on your confidence gradually.

4) Remember Who Leads Your Life

The last thing to remember; more of a mental challenge rather than anything else, is to really grasp on the fact that you’re the one leading your life. You are free to do whatever you choose. Friends will come and go, and the majority of people you see everyday, you won’t see twice.

So go out and be confident, because the only person that will see every minute of your life is you, and your opinion of yourself is always the most important step in living a happy and peaceful life.

This more than anything, was something that hit me hard in 2014. I can go and do all the things above and definitely end up with a great group of supportive friends, but if we don’t all grasp the fact that we’re the only ones in control of our lives, then we’ll always feel captive and buried below the surface of doubt and fear.

It’s crazy to realize that most of the things we want to do in life, we end up not doing because we fear of others opinions and take on the situations. We fear talking to new people in case they reject us, we fear acting on our ideas in case they get shot down…
If we all mastered this fear and did exactly what we wanted to, just think how much happier we could all be.

Be confident, stay happy and never let others put you down.

The post 4 Ways To Stop Caring What Other People Think appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

http://ift.tt/1yq8qon

For writers of the imagination, what we fear the most is a disruption, a blockage, a sudden dam that changes the course of the river of creativity. Back in the late sixties and early seventies when technological innovation began to creep into the public consciousness, I shunned all the so-called marvels of computers when it came to my writing process. As a novelist, I feared that switching to these new fangled machines might somehow inhibit my ever-reliable muse, but what I feared most was a disruption of my creative process, a drastic change to my internal thinking patterns that would inhibit my imagination. A strange new means of composition at the time, the computer seemed an intrusion or, at best, an unwelcome detour on a well-traveled road to storytelling.

The Old Days

Up to that point, I had been composing in pen and ink before making the transition to a manual typewriter. I had learned to type at the age of seventeen on a clunky old Remington and had become quickly used to the feel of the keys on my fingers. I discovered how great it was to see my words in black type, almost as if it were already a page in a book. I have to admit, that as I continue to work on a keyboard today, I’ve found that it creates the same comforting sound that once accompanied me during my creative revels on that old clunky Remington.

I grew used to rushing through a first draft, reworking it with pen in hand, retyping, reworking, retyping until I had my manuscript in what I had internally believed was reasonably acceptable for submission to my then agent. I used the services of a few freelance typists who had grown used to my hasty yet elaborate chicken marks. I had long ago discovered that the secret to good writing was rewriting. I rewrite like mad, changing dialogue, characters, plot points, reconsidering different ways of expressing the material; the subconscious is a very busy place, and every nuance, every thought, is constantly changing. Writing stories is like building a house with wooden blocks: remove one, and you must rearrange the supporting neighbors or the whole structure will collapse.

Making the Transition 

Because I spent a vast amount of time composing my novels in my basement writing room, I owned three Smith Corona portable typewriters. One was my primary work tool until its mechanism shouted for repairs, one was in reserve, and one was always in the shop. My fingers were invariably stained by carbon from used-up ribbons that constantly needed changing.

I was still in the advertising business in those days. I would get to my basement writing desk before six in the morning and write for about four hours before hustling off to my office for my regular workday; the pittance I earned from writing was hardly enough to support a growing family.

It was during my time in the advertising business that computers were proliferating. I now had the option to eliminate my freelance typists since I could compose and make changes directly on the screen, but if you were unable to break the habit of making changes on paper, printers were available.

One of my writing friends, a world famous photographer/writer, Fred Ward, was an advanced techie, and assured me that a computer was an enhancement rather than a hindrance, and finally, after much persuasion, I bought my first clunky computer in the early 1980’s. The writing program was called Wordstar and I attached a Hewlett Packard laser printer that could print out a few pages a minute, which I thought, at the time, was remarkable. Of course I kept my three Smith Coronas at the ready in case this technology failed me, and so I chugged away learning Wordstar.

Getting Over the Fear 

Some of my writing friends continued to resist, and they often insisted that they were happy with the old ways of pen on paper or mechanical typewriter. In fact, many of them continued to compose that way and some still do; I have a number of writing friends that have refused to adapt under any circumstances. I suppose it is an age thing. After all, they argue, the greatest works of literature were composed with pen and paper. Were William Shakespeare or Charles Dickens inhibited by the lack of computer technology?

I must admit that it took a while to get over my fear. When I slowed down or met an obstacle while writing, I wondered whether or not the disruption was due to the new process and the difficulties of having to remember the new strokes on a computer keyboard. Thankfully, my earlier typing skills came in handy and after a few months I was able to write and rewrite to my heart’s content, which I continue to do today.

I suppose my story has been experienced by many writers across the globe who were plagued by similar fears. To a younger generation, many of whom are no longer taught the elements of penmanship, my experience could be laughable.

How do You Prefer to Write?

I am totally committed today to writing on my computer. It offers a writer a vast improvement especially in time saving and research.  The creative process remains the same as it always was, requiring deep thought, constant improvement and extensive re-writing. But most of all, in terms of speed and convenience, it is an enormous help. Still, despite such improvements, if suddenly the electrical grid was destroyed and a complete power blackout would occur I would still continue my writing schedules. It is a necessary component of my life.

An old friend, John David Garcia, now deceased, once declared that the goal of life is to evolve into pure mind. He wrote a book called The Moral Society, and claimed that technology might one day bring us to pure mind. But a truly inspired and gifted writer, as has been proven over the centuries, does not need the geegaws of modern technology to create masterworks of great insight and benefit to the human species.

While it has made a vast difference in discoverability and marketing, giving opportunity to emerging writers to get into the publishing fray, I doubt if it has made one iota of difference in the quality of the offerings.

On that note, I want to know, how do you prefer to compose?

Warren Adler is best known for The War of the Roses, his masterpiece fictionalization of a macabre divorce turned into the Golden Globe and BAFTA nominated dark comedy hit starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito. Adler’s international hit stage adaptation of the novel will premiere on Broadway in 2015-2016. In recent development is The War of the Roses – The Children (Grey Eagle Films and Permut Presentations), a feature film adaptation of the sequel to Adler’s iconic divorce story, Target Churchill (Grey Eagle Films and Solution Entertainment),Mourning Glory, to be adapted by Karen Leigh Hopkins, and Capitol Crimes (Grey Eagle Films and Sennet Entertainment), a television series based on his Fiona Fitzgerald mystery series. Warren Adler’s newest thriller,Treadmill, is officially available.

Learn more about Warren Adler at www.warrenadler.com

 

 

The post Pen or Computer: Which is Better for Writers? appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

http://ift.tt/1AoTkdM

Break the rules. We have so many rules in life about everything. I say break the rules. Not the law, but break the rules / Arnold Schwarzenegger

Can we be honest?

You know how you’ve been struggling to find your dream job? Tried everything and still feeling crappy?

Well, It’s not because you didn’t find the right place to work in. It’s not because you have the wrong position.

It’s because you’re looking in the wrong place.

But you’re not alone.

Most people live their life without knowing better. They cruise on autopilot, letting their job slowly suck the life out of them. They feel bitter and lost.

But there’s a dead simple way to get your bearings straight. To find your life purpose. To do the work you love.

Shall I explain?

Working a Corporate Job Changes You in a Creepy Way

I used to work in a corporate job. I kept my nose to the grindstone. I wanted to save money for retirement because that’s the “right” thing to do. But living this way takes it’s toll.

I started daydreaming about retirement. Being only 30.
My mood became gloomy making me grumpy and miserable. Being around me sucked.

Then I remembered.
How it was before, how I was happy.

I didn’t want to become a corporate slave. To forget how to enjoy life as a free man.
I didn’t want to become institutionalized.

These walls are funny. First you hate ’em, then you get used to ’em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That’s institutionalized / Shawshank Redemption

I knew there must be another way. To live a vibrant life. To be happy.
But I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid to step into uncharted waters.

The Kick-Ass First Aid Treatment that Saves You From Misery

When I felt hopeless, my wife came to the rescue.
She challenged me with a simple exercise. It changed my life. It helped me find and pursue my life purpose.

It’s extremely simple but it’ll guide you towards living fully. Towards doing the work you love.

What’s the exercise?

1. Write down what you’d like to do if money is not an issue.
2. Order the list by what you’re most passionate about.
3. Pick the top item.

When I did this exercise, my top item was helping people achieve their greatest potential. I had noticed that I felt best when I mentored others to enjoy their lives more.

I started gobbling up books and taking courses. I worked hard to overcome my social phobia. To sound my voice even when I was scared shitless.

Take the time to complete this exercise. And when you’re done, start acting towards accomplishing it.

It’ll be hard. Damn hard.
It’ll smack you out of your comfort zone. It’ll shake every molecule of your being. But it’ll be worth it.
It’ll change you. Drastically. You’ll feel alive. You’ll become happier than ever. Your friends will notice it. Your family will notice it.

Wouldn’t you go an extra mile for that?

Repeat this exercise once in a month. You’ll be surprised your answer changes.
That’s how you navigate to your greatest passion. Each time you perform this exercise you come closer to finding your purpose in life.

And when you find it you’ll know. Definitely.

The Secret To Doing What You Love

You can’t achieve your dream by staying comfy.

You can’t fulfill yourself doing what everyone expects.

Break a convention and naysayers start popping up from everywhere. They say the risk is too big. That you won’t make it.

But deep down they know.

They are ashamed to lack YOUR courage.

Stop listening to naysayers. And start listening to yourself.

Follow your passion. Cultivate it and learn about it in every chance you get.

Go ahead. Fire up your passion.

You know you deserve it.

P.S. How do you handle naysayers? Let me know in the comments below.

—

Benny helps men live their life to the fullest, while putting their family first. Get his free “Foolproof Checklist for Spending More Time with Your Family While Getting Things Done”.

The post How to Really Really Find Your Life Purpose (and Do the Work You Love) appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

http://ift.tt/15aD7k8

 

We first make our habits, and then our habits make us. – John Dryden

Are you as productive as you’d like to be?

Do you feel like you could do a whole lot more with your time?

And how often are you getting distracted within any given day? Too much?

Are you finding it hard to break the habit? Do you wish it were easier?

I’m going to show you why a lack of productivity can lead to bad habits. And what you need to start doing!

1. You become easily distracted.

By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination. – Christopher Columbus

Have you ever noticed when you’re not productive you’re easily distracted? This is what I’m talking about.

And If you’re not careful you’ll become more and more distracted, until it becomes a bad habit.

And once you’re stuck in the habit of being distracted (like most), it’ll be a bad habit.

A bad habit that’ll destroy your ability to focus. And make it harder to stay focused for longer periods of time.

Spend more of your time being productive, so it’s impossible to spend the majority of your time being distracted.

2. You become a spectator.

Life is not a spectator sport. If you’re going to spend your whole life in the grandstand just watching what goes on, in my opinion you’re wasting your life. – Jackie Robinson

Who would you rather be? The one who’s perfecting their craft and being productive, or the one who’s watching over 7 hours of TV per day?

The difference between the two is – one of them is taking action, and the other is watching it.

And when you become a spectator of life, you start to become more critical of others.

Go onto YouTube, find a Justin Bieber or a Miley Cyrus video for example.

I can bet you’ll find 1000’s of spectators on there. And guess what they’re doing? Being critical of Justin Bieber & Miley Cyrus in the comments.

Here’s another example. You have the footballers on the field playing the game, and the spectators in the crowd watching the game.

And which one of them becomes critical when one team loses or takes a bad shot? The spectators!

The same principle applies to your life.

When you stop being productive, you’ll eventually start spectating and paying attention to things you weren’t aware of before!

3. You start to lose focus.

Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus. – Alexander Graham Bell

When you’re not doing something meaningful you start to lose focus. Try this as an experiment If you like.

Example – you could be on a train reading a book on your kindle, but the moment you put it down your focus will switch to the people on the train gossiping.

And If you were to do that enough, eventually you’ll stop reading your kindle on the train all together.

The same principle applies to anything else you need to focus on. Stay focused more often than you get distracted.

4. You’ll waste time on things that don’t matter.

Have you ever seen teenagers, students, or young adults hanging around on street corners before? Doing nothing in particular?

This is the perfect example of the point I’m getting across.

When you’re not productive you waste time on things that don’t even matter. Most of the time.

Like hanging around on street corners, walking up and down town doing nothing important.

Watching the new world news, reading celebrity gossip magazines, scrolling through people’s Facebook pictures and status updates, etc.

That’s a dangerous habit to get into. Respect your time and use it wisely.

5. You become lazy.

 Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. – Jules Renard

Lazy people for the most part are far from productive people.

And the type of lazy I’m talking about is the person who refuses to do anything. Or makes excuses as to why they shouldn’t or don’t need to do it.

When you’re not being productive there’s a chance you’ll become lazy. And once the lazy habit hits you, you’ll find yourself making excuses.

And once you’re stuck in the habit of making excuses, you’ll get NOTHING done. And If you get nothing done, you’ll be more unproductive than you will be productive.

The goal is to not just stay active, but to be productive. Exercise is a good way to get rid of laziness and the feeling of laziness.

If you’re energy is always up, you’ll be more likely to be focused and productive more often.

6. You’ll have nothing to do.

This ties in with number 4. When you have nothing to do with yourself, you have no sense of direction.

By having nothing important left to do, you’ll do anything. And anything usually means distractions, which leads to bad habits.

But the truth is you always have something productive to do.

If your task is to make 100 sales call a day, and you pass that target, does that mean you’re done? Of course not.

There’s always something productive you could be doing. No matter how much you get done within 24 hours.

So don’t slack, don’t make excuses, don’t justify, and most importantly, stay focused more often than not. So it’s impossible to upset the balance!

Got something to say? Leave a comment and i’ll respond!

——–

Theo Ellis is a blogger, author, and entrepreneur who’s committed to giving straightforward advice to help others grow. Specializing in topics such as – self confidence, self improvement, happiness, discipline and time management. You can find out more about Theo at his website – justbereal.co.uk

The post 6 Reasons A Lack Of Productivity Can Lead To Bad Habits appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

http://ift.tt/1zfM9JA

There’s nothing worse than the feeling of being tired but not being able to do anything about it. Sure you could take caffeine pills or drink as much coffee as you possibly can, but this can leave you feeling even worse once the effects wear off.

So what can you do?

There are some natural ways to shake off the sleepy feeling, including:

1. Exercise

Ok, it sounds daft we know. The last thing anyone wants to do when they feel sleepy is drop to the floor and do push ups, but it works! Exercise helps to release endorphins and creates adrenaline, serotonin and dopamine that help to ensure that your brain stays alert.
Granted you can’t always go for a quick run when you’re feeling tired, but you should be able to get up, stretch your legs and walk around for a little bit. Even a quick three minute walk will help you to rouse yourself out of a laggy, sleepy feeling.

2 Avoid Caffeine

It sounds like we are doing something that will make you more tired, but actually caffeine can have a very negative affect on your body. By drinking coffee in the morning and throughout the day you may be getting a temporary fix from the stimulant, but by the afternoon the effects will have worn off, leaving you more irritable and tired.

3. Keep Hydrated

Many people feel tired as the result of not drinking enough water. This creates fatigue both mentally and physically and can be extremely dangerous if not checked. Make sure that you are taking on around 2 litres of water a day, especially when you begin to feel the effects of fatigue. It doesn’t have to strictly be water; you could try fruit juice, squash or even herbal tea.

4. Glucose

Glucose is a natural sugar that your body produces to give yourself that extra kick throughout the day. There are many foods that you can eat in order to get this sugar; alternatively you could try glucose tablets. Again, these are produced using natural ingredients and can be a great way of getting a quick boost without any after effects like you would receive with caffeine. Glucose comes in chewable tablets, drinks and gels, making it a good solution for many different applications.

5. Eat Right

If you aren’t getting the right nutrition then your body isn’t going to work to its full potential. Try to cut out the fatty foods and high sugar snacks and opt for healthier alternatives. Don’t feel as though you are too busy to eat either, skipping meals can cause low blood sugar which brings on fatigue. While stopping to cook dinner may take up your time, being well fed will help you work better and should save you time in the long run.

6. Resting

Are you sleeping properly? Chances are, if you are regularly tired then your sleeping habits aren’t very good. Try to make sure you are getting 6 to 8 hours sleep every night and aren’t being frequently disturbed while in slumber. Not being able to go into a deep sleep during the nights can seriously affect your mental ability throughout the day. Try to make changes to your sleeping pattern in order to get to bed by a certain time to see if this helps.

About the Author – BBI Healthcare develops, manufactures and distributes a wide range of healthcare products to help manage personal wellbeing. All products are made to the highest of standards, meeting quality and regulatory requirements, ensuring that you receive the best possible product. To find out more about our Go Gluco range of Glucose Tablets visit us online today

 

The post Natural Ways to Relieve Tiredness and Create a Better You appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

http://ift.tt/1FWzPBD

Do you ever watch personal development videos on You Tube?

I do. I used to watch them all the time and one day, about a year and a half ago, two things really struck me.

1. They’re so damn long. The ‘guru’ can take between 10 and 30 minutes, sometimes going off point, to answer the question or talk about their area of expertise.
2. They overload you with information. The subject may be something fairly clear like building confidence but you’re gonna get a cluster bomb of an answer. Stand back while you’re bombarded with 10 different steps ranging from the useful to the downright trivial.

Hmmm, I thought, I have an idea. What if I was to make a series of videos that gave viewers just one answer to the problem they face and were no longer than 4 minutes in length?  That way, I wouldn’t take up too much of their time and also give them a clear solution they could action in their day to day lives.

Yes, I said to myself, you’re onto a winner. And so, The Real Answer series was born.  I proceeded to make 7 videos dealing with issues that we all face and how to solve them.

But me being me, I couldn’t just give any old answer. It had to be THE answer, the most definitive, clearest and effective solution

And guess what?

When you’re looking for the REAL answers, the place to find it is outside the mainstream.

So without further ado, I present to you, 7 unconventional answers (taken from my video series) that will get you thinking and hopefully have a positive impact on some of the issues you face.

Answer Number 1: How to be Confident

It’s not affirmations, empowering clothing and it’s not even your posture and the way you carry yourself. Don’t get me wrong, these can help but the only real way to build long lasting confidence is to face your fears.

The confidence of a person can be measured in the amount battles they’ve been through. Yes, you may have quivered throughout that presentation you gave or bumbled your words when approaching that beautiful woman or man you like, but you had the balls to do it.

Confidence grows through this because of a human beings amazing ability to adapt. Keep putting yourself in fear inducing situations and eventually the strength of your terror will subside. When this happens, you start to relax, and when you start to relax, you’re free to give the best of yourself to the task at hand. 

Answer Number 2: How to Find your Passion

The commonly held belief is that this is very difficult to do. After all, a shocking 81% of people in employed work are uninspired by their jobs.  Viewed like this, there’s a global epidemic of wasted lives.

Understandably, this is something you want to avoid but doing so requires a little lateral thinking. You see most people don’t lack passions; they lack the courage to pursue them. You probably already have a workable idea but what are you doing to make it happen?

 

Answer Number 3: How to be Successful

I need to warn you that society considers the answer I’m about to give dangerous. It’ll tell you to work hard, keep your head down and play the game. If you do all of these things then one day you’ll live in a big house, own multiple cars and have respect.

Yeah right!

While there’s a chance this might occur, even if you do get to the front of the rat race, it’s more than likely the things you’ll notice the most are how stressed you are by your 50 plus hour a week job and how a little piece of you dies every day through having to conform.

Of course, there is another kind of success – the one where YOU set the agenda. However, to succeed outside the system, your project, idea or dream will have to become an obsession in your mind. Only this strength of mental focus will galvanise all of your energy and provide you with the motivation, answers and persistence to forge your own path.

 

Answer Number 4: How to Overcome Depression  

This is my most controversial answer. Remember, my intention in saying what I’m about to say is to enlighten, not offend.

It is my belief, and that of a psychiatrist imminently more qualified than me, that most people diagnosed with depression don’t need prescription drugs.

What’s the solution then?

Put simply, START LIVING A LIFE.

Think about it, is it any wonder so many people feel miserable and low on energy when we work jobs we don’t enjoy, spend an endless amount of time doing them and are conditioned to ignore our true feelings?

The antidote, therefore, is to give free reign to your dreams and desires. Start doing what you want to do, not what is expected of you. Remember, that low energy state you’re experiencing is your soul’s way of communicating and telling you to set your sights higher.

Answer Number 5: How to Deal with Failure

‘Failure is feedback’ goes the famous saying.  While I don’t wish to knock a useful NLP presupposition, I do want to draw your attention to another factor that makes the experience more palatable.

What if you only needed to win one time out of ten to be a success?

Sound odd doesn’t it, but when you break down even the highest of achievers success rates, you’ll discover that they’re not as awe inspiring as we’re led to believe.

Tim Ferriss got rejected by 26 publishers before the 27^th he approached agreed to publish his Four Hour Work Week.

Colonel Sanders was rejected 1009 times before a restaurant agreed to use his recipe.

Michael Jordan missed more than 9000 shots in his career.

So don’t be concerned the next time you fail to get a client, don’t get the job or make a loss on an investment. Hold out for the occasions that you do.

 

Answer Number 6: How to be Happy

It’s all about your energy. While the system seeks to convince us we can only be happy through greater consumption, the research would suggest otherwise. In fact, being in the highest income bracket of your country will only make you 3.5% happier than the average.

So if the big car, grand house, expensive holidays and designer clothes aren’t going to make you that much happier, what will?

The paradoxical answer is, taking ownership of your happiness. You have to work at raising your energy regardless of life’s ups and downs. Every day, you have to focus on the thoughts that get you feeling good and eliminate the ones that depress you.  This way your mood will be dictated by you and not your environment.

 

Answer Number 7: How to Sleep Better

Some YouTube videos were telling me I needed to buy lavender scented pillows, set my alarm at exactly the same time each morning and get into bed at exactly the same time each night, but after years spent as an insomniac I knew this advice did little to assist consistent sleep.

So what did?

I only began to sleep properly after I stopped worrying about my sleep.  I had to LET GO.

This meant;

• No more attempting to force myself to sleep
• No more worrying about feeling tired for an important event the next day
• No more questioning why it was I wasn’t sleeping properly and wondering whether I was being punished

Although sleeping badly, the issue of sleep had to be completely absent from my mind. Only by letting go in this way would I allow my subconscious mind to take over. It knows how to guide you, SO LET IT DO ITS JOB.

Joe writes for the Dreamers. He believes everybody should live a life doing the things they love (and get paid to do it!) and have the freedom to set their own agenda. For more information please visit his website http://ift.tt/Xtk3Y6 and check out his critically acclaimed book Escape the System Now. He also works as a hypnotherapist and tennis coach.

The post 7 Unconventional Answers to Life’s most Pressing Problems appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

http://ift.tt/1CijEcc

It’s a question that comes up when celebrities get themselves into trouble. Which happens often enough.

To start with, let me make it clear that I’m not talking about the legal side of the issue. At least twenty-three women have spoken out about varying degrees of molestation at the beloved comedian’s hands. Bill Cosby has (it seems) done things that make him liable to criminal and civil penalties. The law should take its course. You don’t get off because you’re a celebrity.

Instead I’m talking about the court of public opinion. As one CNN news story put it, “Cosby, 77, has never faced a judge or jury, let alone been convicted, over the allegations. But it’s clear many people have already tried him in their minds.”

To begin with, although current society is fascinated by celebrities, the role they actually play in our culture isn’t well understood.

We live in a society of strangers. We are no longer tribespeople or villagers whose acquaintance totals a few dozen people. Every day we see and deal with many individuals we will never see again. This is especially true in big cities and suburbs.

Even people we see every day are more or less strangers to us. How much do you know about the people you work with? Do you and they have any common acquaintances outside the workplace? What about your neighbors? I’ve lived for six years in the same middle-class suburb on the edge of the Chicago metropolis. I know some of my neighbors, but most of those who live around me are people I probably wouldn’t even recognize in most settings.

At the same time, we find ourselves interacting with these strangers in various ways, and we have to talk to them about something. One thing we all share is a familiarity with famous people—politicians, movie stars, singers, sports heroes, and so on. These celebrities provide a kind of common acquaintance that we can talk about with people with whom we otherwise have little to share.

But we have a very curious attitude toward these celebrities. We like to build them up and then tear them down again. Often they let themselves in for it by doing stupid, bizarre, or criminal things, but the vehemence we show (while enormous atrocities elsewhere in the world are going practically unnoticed) suggests that something else is going on.

When you think about it, even the celebrity you most abhor is in all likelihood someone who has never harmed you personally, if only because he has never met you. You may even realize that, from a purely personal point of view, you have had nothing but pleasure from his performances. But because he has been caught in a disgraceful act, you get satisfaction from despising him. You may even start to feel sincerely angry with him.

Some of this anger is due to envy. We live in a democratic, egalitarian society, where nobody is any better than anybody else (or so we tell ourselves). At the same time we want to have heroes to admire and look up to. These impulses are somewhat contradictory, and so it’s no surprise that they produce contradictory results—elevating the star, then tearing her down.

This process is also a way of cementing common values. To attack a celebrity who commits rape is, or seems to be, a way of condemning rape as a whole. Fair enough—but I really wonder if this kind of condemnation is really going to help prevent crimes like this in the future.

For some people, hostility toward public figures is also a way of displacing their anger onto some remote object. But there is something suspicious about this process. What are you really angry about? It would make more sense to look at this question in the context of your own life and take steps to remedy it—or accept the situation if there’s nothing else you can do.

Granted, there are a lot of people who looked up to Bill Cosby. They feel genuinely hurt that his behavior has been at such variance with his benign fatherly image. It’s always a danger you face with heroes—especially living ones. They often turn out to be different what you thought they would be—and more often than not, they’re worse. I suppose the lesson here is to be careful about whom you look up to—especially if they’re still alive and the book isn’t closed on their personal stories.

In one sense, then, this rush to revile Bill Cosby is understandable. He was held up as a hero and a role model, and he let a lot of people down. It would be hard if not impossible to excuse him of many of the things he’s done (assuming he really did them).

In the end, though, I don’t feel I can answer the question that I started with. Should we forgive Bill Cosby? Should we condemn him? Who is this “we” that we’re talking  about—public opinion, society at large? Most of the time when people talk this way, they are inserting themselves into a (largely imagined) category of moral arbiters—whether or not they have any business to be there.

So, then, let me change the question: can I forgive Bill Cosby? I can and I will try to—because it’s in my own best interest to do so. It’s in my own best interest to stop upsetting myself and getting angry over things that are, in the end, none of my business. Whatever the truth of these charges, I personally wish Bill Cosby well—just as I wish his victims well. It’s for the sake of my own peace of mind.

Richard Smoley’s latest book, The Deal: A Guide to Radical and Complete Forgiveness, will be published in January 2015. His other works include The Dice Game of Shiva: How Consciousness Creates the Universe; Inner Christianity: A Guide to the Esoteric Tradition; and Conscious Love: Insights from Mystical Christianity. Richard is also editor of Quest magazine and Quest Books, both published by the Theosophical Society in America.

The post Should We Forgive Bill Cosby? appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

http://ift.tt/1y8eZvK

A powerful free video series

I’m too excited about this not to share it with you…

Today, my friend and habits expert Barrie Davenport launched a free 3-part video training called “Unleashing Your Best Self.”

You can get the first video instantly by clicking here and signing up.

In these videos, Barrie shares something that’s spot on with my personal values …

Creating indestructible habits.

I know, I know…

Maybe you cringed a little when you read that. That’s okay. There are SO many people who are cynical about sticking to their habits. You’ve tried it in the past. You start with good intentions, but after a few weeks (or even days!), you give up.

The good news? We don’t fail to follow through because of some character flaw. We fail because the process is flawed.

How about a fresh perspective on forming great habits? One that will help you move on from past failure. One that will help you look ahead with clarity and confidence.

Well, then, good news — you will get a TON of value from this series.

In fact, in Video #1, Barrie shares the four common myths about creating habits and why it’s so difficult for almost all of us to commit to our resolutions and follow through on those new behaviors we want in our lives — whether it’s exercise, eating healthier, learning a new skill, or even improving a relationship.

Without busting these myths, you’ll find it virtually impossible to stick to your habits and reach your goals.

If you’ve ever felt like there was something standing between you and becoming the person you want to be, don’t miss this series.

You can finally get clear on how creating rock solid habits can truly transform your life — even if you’ve tried in the past and failed.

It’s free, but it will only be available for a limited time. Sign up here, and she’ll send you the first video right away.

 

The post How To Create Good Habits (for Free!) appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

http://ift.tt/14ODQbb