Structure is something many of us absolutely love.
Whether it’s a calendar, mobile app, fitness tracker – you most likely use different tools to plan, track, and organise your life.
These tools enable you to live more intentionally. But when overused, despite all their incredible benefits, they can also stifle you. Here’s how:
– You get overwhelmed by the huge number of Apps you have to open each day
– You Stress out when your Smartwatch/Phone Battery dies
– You Feel burdened by the responsibility of keeping your Calendar up to date
For every tool you use, there’s a cognitive cost that you have to factor in.
Why you should Lower your Expectations of Perfection
However much I think I’m in control, life has a funny way of taking charge on its accord. I’ve noticed that when I’m too attached to my plans and tools when something wrong happens, I experience a higher level of stress than needed.
There are have been various instances in my life where i didn’t fill out my Calendar for the Week; I failED to accomplish my work by the end of the day; and I forgot to track my habits
Every time those situations would come up I would beat myself up for not being perfect. There was so much structure in my life (and not enough freedom) that when things deviated from the way I expected them to go, whether in my life or through relationships, I fell into a hole of disappointment. In that sense, the structures and tools in my life were imprisoning me rather than freeing me.
Life never goes 100% according to plan.
So I decided to change my tune and eliminate some of the tools I used and changed my philosophy. I started regularly thinking about how I’m managing both the freedom and structure in my life. Slowly, I learned to dance with the unexpected news, small failures, and “Happy” surprises. I came to realize that not having things not go to plan all the time, would help me grow as a human being.
Life never turns out exactly the way you want it to. Holding that truth in advance makes you less likely to act emotionally or irrationally when imperfections arise.
The value in this story is that you must learn to dance with not having control all the time, choosing instead to co-create with life – as opposed to doing things all on your accord. We need a balance between structure and freedom, uncertainty and productivity. That’s why when we use our tools, we want to use them with a slight leeway for imperfection. We also need to eliminate the tools that don’t serve us.
What happens to the man who is too attached to his tools? He becomes just as rigid as his pieces of software, lacking in the soft touch and light-heartedness that’s inbuilt into his nature.
“Life is partly about not knowing, having to change, taking a moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity” – Gilda Radner
Get the Perfect Balance
We do need some degree of control in our lives, but we also can benefit from more freedom. Maybe we do this by not wearing our watch one day per week, taking a day of the computer once per week, or visiting a new town one day per week.
We need to produce a system within our systems that enables us to break away from our mindset of control and productivity.
Balance the freedom and structure in your life, and you’ll experience more peace, calm, and emotional stability.
My Last Words
If you’re a creative and interested in learning how to upgrade the way you live your week, read my free guide on Spiritual Productivity.
You’ll learn about how to split up your day into four chunks, so you worry less about external influences.
You’ll discover the small hacks that will take your creative work on your PC to the next level. And much more…
Samy Felice is a writer who is passionate about unique ideas related to living a meaningful life. His Free Guide explores ways people can make success easier.
Mentally strong people. Who are they? Are they successful? Are they happy? These are the perpetual questions, which have many different answers. First of all, they are people who can deal with problems and know their worth. Here are some features, which help them to keep the power.
Not giving up
Who knows, which impediments destiny prepares for us. We have to move on. For dear life, getting stronger, in every sense. Especially, in the sense of mental strength. This is the primary habit of such people.
No complaint
They won’t waste a lot of time on whining and blaming the fate for being unkind to them. The mentally strong people know, there’s no point. Stagnating isn’t the right choice.
No fear
It doesn’t mean they are fearless. They prefer not to show their fear and don’t let that fear take over them. Fear is apprehension. In fact, the reason for the majority of fears is lack of self-confidence and negative thinking. This is not about mentally strong people.
Self-discipline
They are eager to continually develop themselves. That’s why most mentally strong people are self-disciplined and hardworking. It is a key aspect of success.
Taking risks
They take risks.
No matter which ones – financial, professional, emotional. They want that risk to pay a reward. They define the boundaries by themselves and consider it in their power to push the limits of what’s possible.
Control emotions
They feel the same as the others, but they try not to be the hostage to their emotions. They prefer to deal with what they’re feeling, privately – not in the public eye. All human beings have human feelings, but in this case, these feeling will hardly dominate.
Life plan
They have one and try to hold onto it. Their life is not a succession of disorderly events. They also have defined goals and move towards them thoughtfully. Successful people are mentally strong people. They achieve what they want because they know what they want, exactly.
Self-dependent
They don’t want to depend on others. This type of independence is based on self-confidence, responsibility for themselves and their fortune.
Against the grain
They aren’t afraid of struggling against the stream. They don’t need the approval of others. They do what they see and feel to be right. They have got their views on everything and aren’t afraid to express their opinions, even if it differs from others.
Realizing values
They know exactly what is valuable for them and try to keep to these values. The formation of values creates a particular mode of life, which determines everything.
Leaving the past behind
They live in the present and try not to allow the past interfere with their today life. If they do focus on the past, it’s only to remember the pleasant moments, which brought joy, strength and a smile.
Flexibility to change
They don’t try to avoid change. They realize that change is the necessary part of life and success. They are not creatures of habit. They are ready to leave a habit behind if it doesn’t work for them.
Getting around
Job, friendship, relations aren’t the anchor to suppress the development of the mentally strong person.Such people want the best for themselves, and if something dissatisfies them – at work, friendship or relations – they will go away and find something new.
Diligence
It’s comparable with self-discipline, but deserves some special words. No pain, no gain. They know that firsthand.
One lives and learns
This fact is quite obvious. Mentally strong people like to learn and not only in the sense of education, but in the sense of new things around and gaining experience. This creates for a richer life experience and overall fortitude.
All in all
Mental strength isn’t something you are born with. It’s a skill that you can learn and develop. Difficulties temper. Life teaches. Being weak or strong is a choice. In fact, it’s a dangerous thing to be weak in our world. That’s why we should be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and, don’t let guard down.
Alina Kemakh is a marketing writer at Erminesoft, a mobile app development company. She likes writing on different topics because in writing she sees working of the mind and imagination.
Motivational quotes have an amazing ability to change the way we feel about ourselves. Motivation is important because it is what causes us to actively look for resources to guarantee our success. Motivation becomes strong when you have a vision, a clear mental image of what you want to achieve, and also a strong desire to manifest it. In such a situation, motivation awakens inner strength and power, and pushes you forward, toward making your vision a reality. Here I have written 50 motivational tips that help you to become strong in difficult circumstances.
Motivational Tips on Listening
1. “Listening is one great way of showing respect” – Instead of being unruly, listening perfectly portrays the sincerest of respect.
2. “Making listening to a habit will you good than with speaking words” – It’s when people listen that they truly become wiser.
3. “The people who are likely to have many friends and companions are those who excel at listening” – If you often hear out what people have in their minds, you are likely to win them as your lifelong friends.
4. “Success can be gained by talking but listening offers far better, excellence” – Great individuals are shaped and honed with the ability to listen to others.
5. “Listening can let us be shaped into far better individuals” – No leader in the history of mankind have had not listened to someone in his lifetime.
6. “The finest literature in the world was given birth by language and language by listening” – Even Shakespeare had to spend some time soaking in ideas from individuals that surrounded him.
7. “Relationships stand firm through the storm not by talking but by listening” – Successful and fruitful relationships are brought about by the power of listening to one another.
8. “The key element of good communication if the ability to listen to the things unsaid” – There are times when listening requires more than our sense of hearing.
9. “When people utter words, bear in mind each word. Not everyone was given the gift of listening” – Be the one to stand out in a deaf crowd. Listen to words that no one else would care to hear.
10. “When you listen, do it for the sake of understanding and not just to build a reply” – Conflicts get fueled when people only listen to burst out their emotions than to seek wisdom.
11. “True friends listen while fake ones care less to lend an ear” – If your friends are real, they will not hesitate to hear you out.
12. “Good conversations often come from listening well” – no matter how intimate a conversation is, it will never end up good without lending an ear with one another.
13. “Doing anything else while listening isn’t fully listening at all” – people can only do so much but not listen eagerly while at the same time doing something.
14. “The reason why we were given a pair of ears and just one tongue is so we could listen more than we could talk” – it may sound like an irrational way to defend talking too much over listening but it definitely gives us the big picture.
Motivational Tips for Living a Life of Truthfulness and Transparency
15. “There is no real enlightenment in life if there is no transparency and truthfulness” – then and only then can we achieve peace and harmony throughout our lives should we choose to become truthful.
16. “There is nothing more priceless than a truth said and done” – telling the truth and living with it is a lifelong reward.
17. “Success comes to play when accountability, transparency, self-definition, and truthfulness merge as one” – there’s more to success than meets the eye. It’s not for the faint of heart and especially not those who are unwilling to change their ways.
18. “Great leaders achieve greatness by passion and truthfulness” – it’s not about what race you are but how truthful you can become. Leaders are lifted high and exalted for their selfless passion and truthfulness.
19. “Be yourself because it is beautiful. Why would you stop showing yourself and create a facade to conceal your true self?” – Life is beautiful and so are you. There’s no reason not to let the world know who you are.
20. “Your true being isn’t portrayed by how others see you but by how you show others” – the truth is, people, will continue to believe whatever they see and whatever you do, be sure it truthfully signifies your true self.
21. “The truth can never be kept hidden. It is like smoke that rises in the air that does not go unseen” – never tell a lie or live with a lie. The truth will always come to pass anyway.
22. “Authenticity comes at a price of integrity, transparency, and vulnerability” – these are the factors that make something or someone genuine.
23. “Being ourselves is more of a gamble. There is the risk of persecution and there is the risk of winning big” – the truth always comes with a price.
24. “Concealing the truth in exchange for safety is not the best path to dwell” – in desperate times, the truth demands to be sealed but doing so comes with a hefty lifelong price.
25. “With the truth within you, it is easy to become a better person than anyone else” – there’s no shame in admitting the truth. No matter how hard it may be, the truth is always the best choice.
26. “A transparent heart and a sincere life come with no persuasive equal” – the driving force of influence is easily achieved through living your life with no restricting walls.
27. “The absence of transparency creates the wall of distrust and confinement of insecurity” – the actions we do and the decisions we make creates a ripple effect.
28. “When things and people are transparent, they are likely to be void of judgment and constraints” – people are less likely to think negatively of something that is purely positive.
Motivational Tips On Versatility
29. In life, winning is not the years of earning but rather how you adapted to the circumstances that made you a winner.
30. The strongest and the smartest does not necessarily imply that they are the ones to last. Sometimes it takes more than that and something called adaptability.
31. Should you encounter various challenges, the only thing that can bog you down is the inability to accept change.
32. Life in its own way comes with changes that we need to embrace. It’s those who fail to accept change that gets left behind in the race of life.
33. Any successful organization is made up of people who are capable of adapting to change.
34. Most individuals see opportunity as a rare occasion. Versatile individuals, on the other hand, see the change as the spark of new opportunities.
35. Circumstances that you have to endure in life can be redirected as favorable events if you have the ability to adapt.
36. Like water in a vessel, a wise person adapts to the circumstances that surround him.
37. When you let go of what you are, you will open the doors to what more you could be.
Motivational Tips for life
38. Life has many mountains to climb. Do not falter if you fall because the journey in life is the reward for your hardships.
Motivational Tips for Strive To Succeed
39. If you wish to be successful, you need to develop habits that will help you get there.
40. Think positive even if you are faced with a lot of difficulties.
41. Hope will help you get through and it can give you strength to pursue your dreams.
42. Apart from thinking positively, your actions must also be positive.
43. Anybody can become successful. You just have to be focused on achieving your goals.
44. Successful individuals spend their time wisely and if you want to be like them, then you should do too.
45. Be open minded and calm especially when faced with difficulties. This will help you make the right decisions.
46. Don’t make excuses. This is only for people who are either lazy or too scared. If you wish to be successful, you need to act on it.
47. Achieving success does not only rely on doing things for your own benefit.
48. Without hard work, you can never expect to become a successful person.
49. Make sure that you are always in good physical shape. This will help as it is going to be the source of your energy. Without it, you cannot do all the things that you want to do and if ever you try, you might not do it properly.
50. Live a life with a principle and do things to achieve success by conforming to a set of constructive principles.
Do you find these words helpful? Would you like to add more motivational tips? Please add your comments and tips below.
About the Author: Ayushi Singh is a passionate blogger who enjoys writing articles on Self-Improvement, Technology, Social Media and Blogging Niche. She is a founder of TheLifeTech. You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
Let’s begin by imagining that, for example, your goal is…financial security, it will not be a case of instant gratification, of course, it would come down to preparing for your future today with the small steps of saving and budgeting. Achieving goals take vision, discipline, effort and hard work, but they also require mindfulness.
“It’s not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for.” – Robert Kiyosaki
Here are 7 blogs that I have found highlight what stands in our way, what it takes and how to develop the mindset to achieve our goals:
This blog begins with an infographic that very aptly illustrate stages from inception of an idea to working tirelessly to achieve it. There is an emotional journey when creating something and in order to follow through to our desired goal, one must first understand that there will be obstacles to overcome. Therefore, it is important to have a grounded view of success, and strive to reach your grandest vision as you also, prepare for the worst.
If you want to reach your goals, do not set too many. It is that simple. When one is overwhelmed we cannot focus and may end up shutting down, that will ultimately have us avoid the goals altogether. In this blog, the idea of a one word theme is introduced and reframes the way one can perceive goal achievement. For example, if your one word theme for 2017 was ‘balance’, you would strive to make all endeavors within any given day integrate this quality.
Change is inevitable, that is what we can count on for sure. Circumstances surrounding our work, family and financial lives can often be limiting and seem further away from the life we envisioned for ourselves. We may feel we’ve hit an emotional brick wall, and the pull to change becomes stronger, yet, we don’t know how to go about manifesting it. If changing careers, you must first evaluate your priorities, create a solid financial plan and most importantly, move forward with a strong sense purpose toward your goal.
The term power habits seemed confusing at first, what does it really mean? Can my habits actually have influence, clout and dominance? Turns out, they can. The equation behind excellence is really all about small habits that determine our best outcome. Even small habits such as getting enough sleep, exercising and limiting alcohol can put your mind into a clearer, more energetic place toward achieving your goals. An essential factor to success is to not sit on any visionary ideas for longer than you need to plan it, immediately take action and hopefully you are in the right place at the right time.
A mindset of abundance, one may wonder what this has to do with achieving your goals…but, it is the root of your ability to remain in a higher state of consciousness, which ultimately means you will be open to seeing, creating and seizing all the opportunities that present themselves to you.
Many people never achieve their goals and dreams for several reasons, perhaps they are just sitting at home waiting for the right time to go for it, or they simply don’t take them seriously. If one is looking for someone else to approve your goals, doesn’t take the time to focus on them or align with people who share your vision, it can be certain it will never be attained. No one can do the work for you.
Overwhelmed, distracted, indecisive, fearful, overly busy…sound familiar? They are all consistent ways one can waste their time and unfortunately, it is all too common. “The truth is, the right thing to do and the easy thing to do are rarely the same thing.” This drives the point home in this blog with some incredibly helpful insights.
So, laugh, build bridges, create a vision, take action, challenge yourself and most importantly, be curious. These habits will always inform your decisions with enthusiasm as you take the necessary steps toward achieving your goals.
Do you read a great blog about goal achievement that’s not on the list? Leave a comment on FB!
Larissa Gomes is a breast cancer survivor and single mom to her spirited baby boy! Originally from Toronto turned Angeleno, she has worked in roles from writer, actor and producer for well over a decade. In that time, she’s developed concepts, film and television screenplays, short stories, along with freelance articles, blogging and editing work.
We’re all well aware of the infamous pay gap – you know the one – where women get paid only seventy-nine cents for every dollar that men earn to do the exact same job? This gap only grows for women of color as well as they tend to earn only about sixty-three cents for every dollar a white non-Hispanic man earns.Successful women have certainly changed this fact and are leading by example.
For women, this can put them at an extreme disadvantage – making it harder for them to pay back student loans, purchase a home, and even start a family. Briana Fabbri, a personal finance adviser, writes that women with high student debts are more likely to delay marriage and children – a troubling observation for many women who are struggling to get ahead in business and bridge the divide between the job they have and the job they want.
Thankfully, there are a few tricks that women can use to get ahead in their careers and climb the corporate ladder faster and easier.
Get to the point!
Born leaders never feel the need to soften their opinions with pleasantries. They also don’t apologize for their advice, or orders. They just give them and let others feel how they’re going to feel about it.
If you want to play hard ball you’re going to have to get hard. Don’t mince words; say what you mean and mean what you say. Make your point quickly and efficiently. Be sure to tell people exactly how you feel.
This doesn’t mean you have to be abusive in your language or actions, just be sure to be honest and sincere in your thoughts, recommendations, and opinions. By all means get out there and make some suggestions – no one ever moved ahead in business by trying to blend into the wallpaper. You’ll have to make an impression to get noticed. That means taking professional risks in order to earn some respect. When you do more and apologize less you send the message that you are smart, savvy, and have leadership potential.
Dress to Impress
You may have heard the old adage that you need to dress for the job you want, not the job you have. This is doubly true with women – who are often heavily scrutinized on their grooming and clothing choices in the corporate sector. Where upper management may be able to overlook certain grooming and dressing habits in many of the men they promote. As a woman, you’ll have to hit just the right balance between elegant and professional to look the part.
It’s no easy feat, and one that takes a fair amount of planning and coordination.
You’re best to opt for business elegant ensembles. Look to congresswomen and other females in upper management for inspiration. Depending on how casual your workplace is, you may have to do a few adjustments. But it’s always better to be overdressed than under. No manager is going to promote you to a senior-level role if you don’t look the part.
One other concerning issue it that many women are learning that they sometimes need to dress down to get ahead as well – it really depends on your environment and how sexist it is. However, when in doubt, avoid overly feminine, frilly, embellished, or revealing clothes. Opt for clean lines and simple crisp styles. You can absolutely never go wrong with a classic fitted blazer over a simple blouse. Throw on some statement jewelry and kitten heels (or elegant flats) and you’re good to go!
Find a mentor
One of the best ways to get ahead is to open the door to personalized coaching (either on a volunteer or paid basis) from other women who have walked the same path. Search through LinkedIn Groups in your industry, attend conferences, and start connecting with other influencers on social media. You may also want to join your local chamber of commerce. Search for a mentor through SCORE and other not-for-profit organizations.
One of the best ways to get ahead is to learn the tricks the easy way – by letting someone guide you to the best practices instead of spending years of trial and error trying to figure it out yourself.
There are many paths to success, including entrepreneurship in business and social enterprises. The tips above are just a few things that shows like Designing Women taught me about women in business. The most important thing to remember is that you set your standards and you have the right to uphold them. Oh, and don’t let the names get to you. Most of the time people are just envious and jealous of your confidence and cool head under pressure. Now get climbing!
While decades ago, we were limited to the confinements of a library or a classroom, we face no restrictions now. We can learn from the same device that we carry throughout the day, at anytime of the day, and anywhere we are.
Whether your goal is to get advice from today’s experts, learn a foreign language, or start a business, we’ve got 37 amazing (and curated) websites to learn new skills. Best of all, you can do it on your own time.
Enjoy!
Broaden your general knowledge
edX – Watch online lectures from the world’s top Universities
Coursera – Online courses curated by top educational institutions
CreativeLIVE – Watch live online classes from premium instructors
Skillshare – Bite-sized courses focusing on real-life skills
Udemy – A platform where anyone can learn anything taught by anyone
Few things can be more unpleasant in this life than holding a job that’s just not suited to you. Jobs can monopolize so much of your time and energy. People spend so much time at work every day. If you have a job that’s simply not in line with your interests, passions and skills, that can make existence feel truly miserable. It can make waking up every morning feel practically unbearable as well. If you have a job that’s just not appropriate for your personality and goals, these signs may be a true wake-up call for you.
1. You’re Just Not a Natural at Your Job
If you don’t feel like a natural at your job, you should pay attention and reevaluate it. People who are holding jobs that are appropriate often can handle them with ease and confidence. If everything about your position seems awkward and difficult, that’s likely a warning sign. It probably means that you should be doing something better with your time. If a job is a good fit for you, you’ll probably be a natural at it. If everything seems forced and complicated all the time, you should look at other options.
2. You Regularly Receive Criticism
People who excel at their jobs tend to receive consistent praise. Others take notice when professionals shine. They also notice, however, when professionals regularly fail. If you constantly hear bad things about your work performance, it may be time to assess your situation. It may be time to admit to yourself that your current position just isn’t cutting it. If you keep a position that isn’t a good match for you, you sell yourself short. You also sell your company short. No one wins in these situations.
3. All You Care About is Your Paycheque
If your job is nothing more than a paycheque to you, that’s a clear sign that your heart isn’t in it. Your goal should be to find a calling in life. It should be about more than just survival and paying the bills. Maintaining a job that makes you feel bleak and unfulfilled is no way to live. You need to find a position that brings you joy. You need to find one that gives you a little spring in your step every morning. Otherwise you could be setting yourself up for an existence of monotony and lack of fulfilment.
4. You Dislike Discussing Your Job
People who are passionate their careers enjoy talking about them. People who aren’t, however, frequently dodge the topic entirely. If you cringe any time someone asks about your career, that generally means that something is wrong. People should do whatever they can to seek out careers that make them feel accomplished. They should strive to land jobs that make them feel good about themselves, too. If your job is nothing more than a source of shame for you, you should probably step away from it as soon as possible.
5. You Realize That You Can’t Grow
Goals can be great motivators for professionals. If you’re stuck working a job that offers seemingly zero growth potential, however, that can put a major damper on your enthusiasm. It can make you feel like you’re in a rut. It can make you feel like nothing good will ever happen to you in the career department. If your job seems like a total dead end in life, you should think in great detail about looking at other career paths. The great news is that there are plenty of them out there waiting for you.
Matthew Snider is a writer, a personal development junkie and a regular blogger at Self Development Secrets. Matt, with his one quarter Asian descent, did not start out as a writer, but he says, “the love for a subject is the most important aspect of writing. The readers want to read something written by someone who understands them.”
Few things can be more unpleasant in this life than holding a job that’s just not suited to you. Jobs can monopolize so much of your time and energy. People spend so much time at work every day. If you have a job that’s simply not in line with your interests, passions and skills, that can make existence feel truly miserable. It can make waking up every morning feel practically unbearable as well. If you have a job that’s just not appropriate for your personality and goals, these signs may be a true wake-up call for you.
1. You’re Just Not a Natural at Your Job
If you don’t feel like a natural at your job, you should pay attention and reevaluate it. People who are holding jobs that are appropriate often can handle them with ease and confidence. If everything about your position seems awkward and difficult, that’s likely a warning sign. It probably means that you should be doing something better with your time. If a job is a good fit for you, you’ll probably be a natural at it. If everything seems forced and complicated all the time, you should look at other options.
2. You Regularly Receive Criticism
People who excel at their jobs tend to receive consistent praise. Others take notice when professionals shine. They also notice, however, when professionals regularly fail. If you constantly hear bad things about your work performance, it may be time to assess your situation. It may be time to admit to yourself that your current position just isn’t cutting it. If you keep a position that isn’t a good match for you, you sell yourself short. You also sell your company short. No one wins in these situations.
3. All You Care About is Your Paycheque
If your job is nothing more than a paycheque to you, that’s a clear sign that your heart isn’t in it. Your goal should be to find a calling in life. It should be about more than just survival and paying the bills. Maintaining a job that makes you feel bleak and unfulfilled is no way to live. You need to find a position that brings you joy. You need to find one that gives you a little spring in your step every morning. Otherwise you could be setting yourself up for an existence of monotony and lack of fulfilment.
4. You Dislike Discussing Your Job
People who are passionate their careers enjoy talking about them. People who aren’t, however, frequently dodge the topic entirely. If you cringe any time someone asks about your career, that generally means that something is wrong. People should do whatever they can to seek out careers that make them feel accomplished. They should strive to land jobs that make them feel good about themselves, too. If your job is nothing more than a source of shame for you, you should probably step away from it as soon as possible.
5. You Realize That You Can’t Grow
Goals can be great motivators for professionals. If you’re stuck working a job that offers seemingly zero growth potential, however, that can put a major damper on your enthusiasm. It can make you feel like you’re in a rut. It can make you feel like nothing good will ever happen to you in the career department. If your job seems like a total dead end in life, you should think in great detail about looking at other career paths. The great news is that there are plenty of them out there waiting for you.
Matthew Snider is a writer, a personal development junkie and a regular blogger at Self Development Secrets. Matt, with his one quarter Asian descent, did not start out as a writer, but he says, “the love for a subject is the most important aspect of writing. The readers want to read something written by someone who understands them.”
“Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.” – Warren Buffet
It’s incredibly frustrating, isn’t it?
You’ve invested time and energy into building this new habit. You’ve kept it up for weeks now, maybe even months. Slowly but surely, changes are beginning to happen in your life, and you start to wonder just how good things could get if you kept this up all year. What if you kept it up for five years? Or ten?
And then it happens again.
Life gets in the way. You skip a gym session, you eat a piece of chocolate, you forget to journal in the morning or do your Spanish homework. Either way, one slip turns into two, which turns into three, and suddenly…you’re back where you started.
Which reveals an uncomfortable truth, the kind of truth that most people don’t like to admit.
Habit change is hard, really hard. And most people are simply not going to keep up with our new habits for longer than a couple of months.
To be honest, that used to be the case with me all the time. I’d be great at starting new habits, but three months in I would let the ball slip. And this happened over, and over, and over again.
Fortunately, over the years I’ve learned a few tricks that allowed me to keep these new habits until they became unconscious and stuck. While I still slip up from time to time, I’m far more effective than I used to be. In fact, by keeping the following principles in mind, in 2016 I was able to both journal and meditate for 180 days straight.
So without further ado, here are 3 critical steps to make sure that your habits stick for years!
Know when it’s appropriate to set unrealistic goals
When you are setting goals based on your new habits there are two things to keep in mind.
Make your short-term goals realistic. These need to be broken down into bite-sized chunks that are manageable every day. For example, don’t start off by attempting to meditate for an hour a day, you’ll just burn out – start with ten minutes and add 30 seconds a day till you reach an hour.
Make your long-term goals unrealistic. If your long-term goals aren’t big enough, they’re not going to motivate you. And even if you don’t get there, you’ll make huge improvements you can be proud of anyway.
Make sure a relevant reminder is always available
You can’t rely on your memory to keep your habits going!
Let me say that again, so you remember it.
You can’t rely on your memory to keep your habits going!
If you have a reminder that is inconsistent or that is only available to you at certain times, it’s not going to be good enough. Use a digital calendar or ‘triggers’ to keep yourself on track every day.
Ask the tough questions
Even if you’ve already started to implement a new behavior, it’s important to know why the habit hasn’t stuck in the past in the first place. If you don’t address the root cause, the issue can be lying in the background just waiting for you to be tired or hungry or jet lagged, and then it’ll pounce.
Go through a process of self-inquiry to get to the bottom of your behaviors.
Why don’t I exercise in the morning?
Because I’m tired.
Why are you tired?
Because I didn’t sleep enough the night before.
Why didn’t you sleep enough the night before?
Because I stayed up late and had a couple of glasses of wine.
Why did you stay up late and drink wine?
Because I’m stressed from work and feel like I need to unwind.
For example, in this situation, you originally thought that you had an issue with motivation to exercise, but really your issue was with stress at work. This is where keystone habits come into place, as something like meditation may reduce workplace stress, which leads to more morning exercise!
As I said before, habit change is hard. However, small consistent changes almost always lead to huge results in the long run. Make sure that you keep these three tips in mind next time you try to adopt a new habit.
Ben is a freelance writer, and the creator of Project Monkey Mind—a blog that delves deep into psychology, spirituality and the mind, and offers practical wisdom for the digital age.
Sig Nordal 