You’re reading How To Dream Specifically, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

There’s a concept in sailing called velocity made good, or VMG for short. Because a sailboat cannot point directly into the wind and make any forward progress, you have to sail at an angle to the wind. So VMG is the speed that you’re actually making toward your destination.

For instance, as part of a round the world sailing trip I took with my family, we wanted to sail from Panama to the Galapagos. Our speed looked great on the surface, but there were forces holding us back. The most obvious was that the wind was coming directly from where we wanted to go. To make any forward progress, we had to sail at a forty-degree angle to the wind (called tacking), so we were doing a massive zigzag toward our destination. That quickly turns a six hundred-mile passage into a twelve-hundred-mile passage. The wind was also unseasonably light, so we just weren’t sailing fast enough.

However, perhaps the most disheartening force working against us was the one we couldn’t see. There were strong currents under the surface of the sea that were literally pushing us back. So while the boat felt as though she was moving forward across the surface of the ocean, we were actually making very little progress.

The same thing has a tendency to occur in our day-to-day lives: Our VMG just isn’t good enough. We have our eyes on a goal, or a dream, and yet there are forces—both seen and unseen—working against our realizing those dreams.

A key question to ask yourself to begin counteracting those forces is this: Do I really know where I am heading, and where I want to go? Said another way—how am I dreaming?

If you are like most folks—you have a dream. In fact, you have lots of dreams, and yet, the chances are that they are not specific at all. Almost by default, your VMG toward them will be poor.

Dreams, like wanting to be successful in business, wanting to retire rich or early, wanting to be happier, or wanting to have a strong marriage are all vague. Each is lacking specific detail about not only how you’ll arrive at that goal but also what the dream specifically means. What does it mean to you to be happy? How much do you require in your savings account to fund a comfortable retirement? “I want to have a successful career” is a dream that almost everyone has, but people who are specific about defining what success means to them, how they will get there, and by when are far more likely to achieve the dream.

Without specifics, all these dreams lack “teeth”; they are vague. Because they are vague, they open the door for you to focus on the obstacles, fears, and dreads. Ultimately, these negatives get so overwhelming that they paralyze you and prevent you from ever achieving your dream. Your VMG toward that dream will stall altogether, and the likelihood is high that you won’t achieve it. That’s what I mean when I say you’ll die full of potential. You could have achieved something that was important to you during the course of your lifetime, but you didn’t.

Back to the theory of VMG. You are not always sailing against a current when you set sail, and you do not always have to tack back and forth because the wind is coming directly from your destination. Sometimes, the wind is on your beam, (coming across the side of the boat). This typically enables your boat to sail along nice and fast. And sometimes, the current is actually accelerating your progress toward your destination. Your boat’s instruments indicate you are sailing along at seven knots, but your VMG—because of the current—is actually twelve. That doesn’t sound like much of a difference—but in a sailboat, it is massive, cutting the time to your destination almost in half—a really big deal! It’s the difference between taking eighteen days to cross the Atlantic and taking ten and a half days. Metaphorically, this is precisely what happens when you change the way you dream. Instead of dreaming in a way that enables all your specific fears, dreads, and obstacles to paralyze you, you need to dream specifically. With this approach, you will be much better equipped to simply deal with all the fears, dreads, and obstacles—one at a time as they arise.

This changes the conversation entirely. One of the positive side effects of this approach is that it places you much more firmly in the driver’s seat. You have made a specific choice, and you are taking the necessary steps to make it happen. You are no longer a victim of circumstance. All of the more difficult decisions will be easier because they have context—they are all enablers for you to achieve your specific dream.

---

Jeremy Cage is President of The Cage Group, which focuses on unleashing the full potential of businesses and people.  He has held senior management positions at Procter and Gamble and PepsiCo; has lived and worked in Sweden, England, Mexico, Venezuela, Brazil and the United States; and took sixteen months to sail around the world with his family.  Cage is also co-founder of several start-up companies in the areas of healthy foods and nutrition. You can learn more at: http://www.thecagegroup.org.

 

You’ve read How To Dream Specifically, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2idLhzW

You’re reading 5 Ways to Be Happier in 2017, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

It is my suggestion that there are five thieves that rob us of our happiness. A thief is someone who takes away something that is already yours. In the case of happiness, the thieves are thought patterns and internal filters through which we see the world in a distorted way. They cloud our view of what is true and natural.

In my new book, The Five Thieves of Happiness I name these thieves:  control, conceit, coveting, consumption, and comfort. 

Control

The first thief is control, the desire to control the outcomes of our life and for things to be different. Happiness is knowing what we can control and accepting what we cannot control. All suffering is resistance to whatever is at any moment.

How to stop the thief:

In each moment surrender to whatever is happening. Control and influence what you can while choosing to accept whatever is at that moment. Accept the hard truths about life.

Remember that it is the craving for things to be different, not the circumstance that robs you of happiness.

Conceit

Conceit is perhaps the single greatest barrier to true contentment and even societal well-being. Conceit if a focus on your small self, on trying to find happiness separate from all other people and things as opposed to in the experience of being one.

How to stop the thief:

Whenever you find yourself obsessing about the story of your life, remind yourself that you are already a part of a larger story. The thief wants you sitting around, staring at your reflection, but there is no happiness to be found there. Building an equitable world that works for all is part of this, if not for moral reasons than for practical ones. Only when all prosper can we all be truly safe and happy.

Coveting

Coveting is the third thief and comes disguised as something harmless or even ambitious in some productive way. Coveting also keeps us from celebrating for others because life becomes a comparison.

How to stop the thief:

Whenever you find yourself asking the mirror on the wall of your subconscious how you compare with others, remember that it is the thief speaking to you. It is lying when it tells that you that life is a contest rather than a journey. Ask instead: Am I being my best self? Also, practice gratitude through daily journaling or simply taking a few minutes to identify three things that you are grateful in that day and one in your life. Each day choose another person and write down three things you want to celebrate for them. 

Consumption

Consumption tells us that there is something outside ourselves that we need to achieve happiness, and it tries to hide from us the truth that we can choose it at any moment. Intuitively, of course, we all know

that happiness cannot come from consumption of something because we all know people who appear to “have it all” but are consistently discontent, as well as people who have “next to nothing” and appear to be quite happy.

How to stop the thief:

Whenever you find yourself saying, I will be happy when…or I will be happy if…, stop these thoughts and come back into the inner house where happiness is found. Focus on the choice to be happy now. Challenge the consumer in yourself. Whenever you are tempted to buy something, ask yourself if it will bring any real happiness. The thing itself is not a problem; the belief that it will bring happiness is the issue.

Comfort

The final thief—comfort—is an insidious one. In fact, at first glance it may even appear as a source of happiness rather than a barrier to it. This thief is like a lethargic person on the sofa, TV remote in hand. It wants us to stay on the same channel, in the same comfortable position, stuck in a routine that is not life giving. It does not care about the consequences of this routine, even if the channel we are on is no longer of interest to us or serving our higher needs.

How to stop the thief:

Make a commitment to try one or two new things every week. Vary your routines, from taking a new route on your daily walk to a different dating experience with your partner on a Friday night. Try new areas of learning—it is good for both your mental and physical health. Notice the core comfort patterns of your life. What have you carried from your past that is no longer adaptive to your life today? Identify an important pattern, and take two months to work on noticing how it shows up, then choose to ride in another direction.

Take The Five Thieves of Happiness quiz to find out what thief is robbing your happiness.

---

Dr John Izzo is a corporate advisor, a frequent speaker and the bestselling author of seven books including the international bestsellers Awakening Corporate Soul, Values Shift, The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die, and Stepping Up. His latest book is The Five Thieves of Happiness.

Over the last twenty years he has spoken to over one million people, taught at two major universities, advised over 500 organizations and is frequently featured in the media by the likes of Fast Company, PBS, CBC, the Wall Street Journal, CNN, and INC Magazine.

http://www.drjohnizzo.com

Twitter: @drjohnizzo

LinkedIn: Dr. John Izzo

 

 

You’ve read 5 Ways to Be Happier in 2017, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2i2ODZ4

You’re reading 10 Tips To Attaining Success And Happiness, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

You need to know that success is not limited to specific individuals and that anyone can start today and achieve all their goals and dreams. This should, however, begin from a point of having your own definition of the word, if not then you will go through life trying to achieve other people’s version of success. What happens when we keep chasing false objects of success and happiness is that we end up losing ourselves and we never reach a point in life when we feel fulfilled and satisfied. Achieving success is a journey, one that requires you to cultivate certain new habits that make up for the main tips towards real success and happiness. A fact you should put in mind before we get into the details of how to attain success is that true success should always be built on the foundation of happiness. These two aspects always go hand in hand as they complement each other in making a person’s life purposeful.

1. Determine What You Want

With a desire to be successful in life you need to start by determining what you want to be successful in first. This means having an idea in mind of who you want to be, where you want to be and what you want to have in life. It is a step that opens you up to the path of finding success and happiness. The path is actually clearer when you understand and feel passionate about the things you want in life. It is depressing to go through life every day without a quest and this is what happens when you don’t know what you want. To attain progress and growth in any area of your life, then the first step is defining and understanding your innermost desires. Determining what you want in advance is more of preparing yourself emotionally, psychologically and physically. It, therefore, becomes easier for you to put things in place and then put efforts into realizing your dreams.

2. Believing In Yourself

There is so much strength and motivation that grows inside us when we always believe in ourselves. Self-belief is exactly what you need to be able to face all of the life’s challenges and also prevent the negativity from weighing you down. It is self-belief that makes you get up again and again after every failure or setback experienced. You will always know deep inside that there is nothing impossible for you and that you have what it takes to make a difference in all areas of your life. One thing you should know is that when you lack self-belief then there are high chances that you will have very limited thoughts and ambitions which could mean getting stuck at one point in life. I, therefore, consider believing in yourself as an important step towards creating your desired way of life. It influences how you think and feel about yourself when it comes to attaining success and happiness.

3. Positive Thinking

Positive thinking is believed to be the key to cultivating both success and happiness as it generally impacts every area of a person’s life, both personal and professional. This means enhancing every single aspect from having a growth mindset to having enough self-belief all of which work together in making you a happier and more successful person. Positive thinking is what we learn from the universal law “law of attraction” which teaches that like always attracts like. It, therefore, calls for each person to maintain positive thoughts, words, actions, and emotions. Whether we are aware of it or not, we always attract what we think and the reason why we say that life always stems from our thoughts. To manifest success, health and happiness then you need to develop a positive attitude towards life by being positive in all that you venture into. Do this consistently and never allow fear and disbelief to be a distraction. What the mind believes it can achieve so start your life to a happier and more successful life by believing in all your abilities and in the existence of possibilities. Positive thinking changes us from the inside out and this basically includes increasing the levels of motivation. You can, therefore, use the following tips to have a positive approach towards life:

• Always use positive words when talking and thinking.
• Learn to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones.
• Read and watch inspiring content.
• Cultivate and maintain enough self-love.

4. Showing Gratitude

Gratitude is all about appreciating who you are, what you have and where you are in life. It is a character trait that will bring in more happiness, better health and increased productivity as it changes how we think and feel about life. When you are grateful then every space in your mind is occupied by positive feelings which allow you to face life with enthusiasm. The thing is that if you can’t appreciate your current life situation then it is very unlikely that you will appreciate what you aspire in the future. The universe rewards those who bring out positive vibes and is exactly what gratitude helps you create. We say that gratitude helps you achieve more in life because it leads to increased energy, determination, and enthusiasm.

5.Goal Setting

Goals are exactly what we all need to make real change in our lives as they offer one direction and when you know where you want to go in life chances are that you will always get there. What holds people back in life is the lack of clear goals which are meant to guide you through the journey to being successful. With goals written down, you will always have both the focus and will keep working hard. What makes the idea of setting goals more appealing is the idea of aligning them with specific time limits. An individual therefore works within that period to ensure that all objectives are achieved. We link goal setting to success and happiness as it not only provides you with direction but also a benchmark for determining whether you are making progress or not. It is also essential to know that just writing down what you want doesn’t work the magic, there should also be effort put and strategies laid down. Below are effective tips to creating a life of success and happiness using goals:

• Ensure that all the goals you set are motivating.
• Make your goals specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound.
• When setting goals we do that in writing as that makes them tangible and real.
• Stick to your goals and always track progress.
• With goals in place make sure that you have action plans for each.

6.Effective Time Management

You might think that there is always so much time in the world to create a life but this is never true and we need to make every moment count. Anyone who desires to live a life filled with success and happiness should understand the importance of effective time management. Be the kind of person who plans everything in advance, prioritizes tasks and never procrastinates. Time management allows for increased productivity and reduces stress because you will always do things when they should be done and thus won’t be cramped up with tasks.  We define time management as the process of planning and utilizing your time well between different activities. It is exactly what allows a person to work smarter and harder and that is where real success stems from. Knowing that time is limited is what helps one to ways live in the present and that kind of awareness makes you more focused creative and less stressed. Effective time management is made possible when you apply the tips provided:

• Avoid procrastination.
• Prioritize all your activities
• Adapt to the habit of waking up early.
• Complete most important tasks first
• Always put your mind and heart into what you are doing.
• Know that there are times when saying “no” is okay.

7. Taking Risks

You can never know how far you would have gone if you don’t take risks as life is about reaching out and flying our wings to find new and better possibilities. You can’t get stuck in your comfort zone and expect life to improve or progress. There should be a part of you that is willing to face fears and also have an open mind. When you have goals you need to go beyond limits and find ways of making them a reality. Am sure you have heard the phrase “it is better to try and fail than not try at all” which makes sense because how else will you know whether you can or can’t. The whole idea of taking risks means you need to reach deep into yourself and find that person who is ready to face challenges and obstacles encountered. A risk taker is a person who understands that success doesn’t come easy and that they need to chase it with all they got. Risk taking is what distinguishes doers from dreamers and you already know that you can’t keep doing things the same way and expect different results.

8.Visualize

Visualization is all about creating mental images of the things you want in life and it always motivates, inspires and energizes. It is actually what all of us need, to create a life of purpose. The idea here is that what the mind perceives it can achieve and by living your dreams in the mind your desire to achieve them is increased. It is simply much about picturing yourself succeeding before that happens in reality. Doing this accelerates your achievement of ambitions, goals, and dreams. The effectiveness of visualization lies in the fact that it does away with any negative thoughts or feelings and allows a person to believe in their strengths and abilities.

9.Taking Responsibility

You are your own person and the only one to exercise control over your life by taking responsibility for your actions, thoughts, words, and feelings. An individual who always remains responsible and accountable no matter how bad situations turn out creates room in their life for growth. Taking responsibility puts you in a position where you understand every aspect of your life and are ready to do all it takes to improve yourself. Blaming external forces for what happens to us only makes you weak and is exactly what deters you from achieving your life goals. When things don’t go your way, get back to the drawing board, find out the mistakes made and then come up with new strategies. This saves you a lot of negativity energy and is exactly what will align you with aspects that contribute to real success and happiness.

10.Increasing knowledge and skills

We live in a very competitive world which means that every day should be an opportunity to improve yourself in terms of knowledge and skills. This is especially important in our career path as it allows us to stand out and be able to perform to optimum levels. Anyone who is career minded and focused on succeeding understands the importance increasing knowledge and skills. What this process does is boost your career growth, unlocking your full potential. Knowing and understanding more means that you can handle more and this makes you a productive person, something all industries are looking for in employees.

Do check out for free gifts and tips about success and happiness at our blog if you like reading this post!

---

The author is very passionate about personal development and growth. Every year, the author sets aside both money and time to learn from some of the best in the industry in terms of business, investments and personal growth.  He wants to inspire a lot of people around the world, especially to those who may not be able to afford the training. He can be found here and here.

You’ve read 10 Tips To Attaining Success And Happiness, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2i3bmSg

You’re reading Why Some People Are So Irritating, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Why do some people irk, irritate, or get under our skin while others don’t?

And furthermore, why do we find certain people so totally annoying while someone else may think that exact same person is perfectly normal?

Well, I’m going to tell you, but you may not like it.

It’s because Carl Jung (one of the grandfathers of modern psychology) found, through his lifetime of work and research into the human psyche, that the reason some people irritate us so much is because they embody something of ours called the Shadow Side.

This Shadow Side is the parts of ourselves we don’t like. The parts we have disowned and subconsciously denied as being in existence. It’s the things about us we try our darndest to hide or run away from.

To put it bluntly, those unfavorable qualities, habits, or tendencies we notice and get put off by in someone else are really just our own shortcomings that we have turned our back on, and refuse to own up to.

So the things that bother, irritate, get under our skin, and drive us crazy about other people are more often than not, our own disowned, unacknowledged, or rejected issues.

Oh boy.

Was that as tough for you to swallow as it was for me? It’s not an easy thing to hear. That’s for sure.

And in case you are tempted to say something like “Well, that may be true for other people, but not me!” Take a second to think about someone who really gets under your skin. Think about what it is about them that irritates you so much. Is it their bossiness? A self-righteous attitude? Are they a know-it-all? Do they act needy and insecure? Do they try to be too controlling? Do they seek out attention in desperate ways? Does this thing they do drive you absolutely nuts, but some of your friends don’t even seem to notice it, let alone be mildly irritated by it? And does THAT drive you even more nuts?

Why are we irritated or put off by some things people do or say, and not others? And why isn’t everyone put off by the same things?

It’s because you likely struggle with the same issue to greater or lesser extent, but have put it to the back of your conscious mind, into your subconscious so aren’t obviously aware of it.  

It is something to think about… No, this theory does not apply to all situations and to all of the people who get under our skin and drive us crazy, but don’t use that as an excuse to resist taking a moment to have a look at yourself and what you may be tempted to deny also having as a shortcoming or struggle.

This is not easy to do. It doesn’t feel great to have to admit to ourselves that we too have irritating behaviors that may need to be worked out.

But don’t stress about it too too much. The good news is, you’re not alone. None of us are perfect, nor are we, or anyone else, meant to be.

---

I’m Julia Kristina M.A. Psych, and I’m a registered therapist, researcher and online course creator out of Vancouver BC. I help men and women get through the crap that’s holding them back so they can like themselves and their lives more everyday. You can read more from me on my website: http://ift.tt/1C3Gd7b and I also give personal development and mindset talks on my FB page: http://ift.tt/2hs1YXs, and run an active and engaged FB group: GoodForMeGroup.com. Join me there so we can connect more!

You’ve read Why Some People Are So Irritating, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

http://ift.tt/2igiCcq