You’re reading Why Your ‘I Am Good Enough’ Affirmations May Not Work, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

You have a distinct feeling of discomfort within yourself and it’s having a negative impact on your life. You’ve used affirmations daily for weeks or even months to change the way you feel.

You’ve said them quietly and you’ve said them out loud. You’ve heard about others who’ve used them with great success—even healing themselves of ailments in certain cases. You’ve written your affirmations down and even plastered them all over your home so you can see them everyday.

Do you find yourself nodding to the above? Maybe you’ve experienced positive changes in your life as a result of using affirmations. If so, then you’re most definitely on the right track—good for you.

On the other hand, you might be feeling completely fed up and disillusioned instead. The problem is, despite doing it all, things haven’t changed for you.  Your attempts at using affirmations has had the opposite effect and you feel worse about yourself more than ever. If so, there’s likely to be a reason.

Why your affirmations may not be working

When it comes to affirmations, it’s very much about emotions as well—there needs to be some kind of agreement between what you say and how you feel when you say it. If you say your affirmation without backing that statement up with the right internal feeling, there is discord. When you have discord between what you say and the way you feel, the chances of that affirmation having any beneficial effect on you and your life decreases greatly.

Think about it for a moment, you want to feel good about yourself and let’s say, more comfortable in social settings. Most of the time you feel awkward, which leads to feelings of embarrassment.

You decide that you’re going to use affirmations to help you relax and get comfortable with who you are so you can be yourself. The problem is that if, when you state your chosen affirmation(s), you continue to feel bad, that affirmation is going to be absolutely useless to you.

Why? Because whilst you’re stating ‘I feel good about myself’ and ‘I’m comfortable being myself’ (or any other statement you choose to use), deep down you may be thinking something along the lines of ‘but, I don’t’, therefore, creating conflict.

You can try to deny that you’re affirmation  isn’t working in the hopes that it eventually will at some point, but it won’t make any difference. If you get a ‘yeah right’ or ‘I wish’ feeling, you’ll hardly be excited, inspired and moved enough to want to make changes that will get you the result you want.

If, however, you were to focus on how being at ease within yourself would make you feel and make up an affirmation based on that, then the chance of feeling any internal resistance is reduced to nothing.

The difference between ‘I feel good about myself’ and ‘the thought of feeling good about myself everyday makes me feel so ‘fill-in-the-blank’’ is huge. You’ll know it’s the right one for you if you feel some kind of sensation in your body.

If you are one of those people wanting to feel more comfortable within yourself, which one of those statements do you think you would be happier stating? When you say the second affirmation, it gives you an idea of how you would feel once you’re ‘there’.

In other words, it puts you in the right frame of mind and gets you more excited about what you need to do to feel more of what you’ve just felt. That way, when you start on your journey to feeling good in your own skin , obstacles won’t feel so much like Mount Everest and they will eventually be trampled on by the visions and thoughts you hold inside your head of how you want things to be.

When you use the right affirmation for your situation, it should cause feelings of excitement, joy and happiness and even make you smile. It should make you want to take action. So, the next time you use an affirmation, check for how comfortable – or uncomfortable – you feel. If it doesn’t make you feel good, don’t use it!

Using them in the right way will see you moving steadily towards your goal.

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Read more from the Confidence Haven on her blog!

You’ve read Why Your ‘I Am Good Enough’ Affirmations May Not Work, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 7 Motivation Principles to Help You Change Your Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

The secret of motivation is that it begins between your ears. Motivation is like a puzzle and you have to see how the pieces fit together before you can get the full picture. How you view the world, beginning with your mind and attitude, will hinder or help you on the path to getting and staying motivated.

I can’t say this enough. Motivation does not come from external sources. On the contrary, it’s all driven from your internal resources. In my experience, some of the pieces to this puzzle can be found in the following life principles:

1. Change Your Attitude: Attitude is at the foundation of motivation. Success and even how you deal with failure and challenges will depend very much on your attitude, first and foremost. Everything that happens to you has to be viewed through a certain lens. That lens is either positive or negative attitude and motivation. A friend of mine was told years ago that he had less than a year to live. He spent the rest of his days focusing on the 10 percent chance the doctors had given him. His final days were positive.

2. Take Ownership: You own your life. No one else does. Your boss, your spouse, your job, etc. are not the owners of your life. No one can “make” you feel happy, sad, overwhelmed, motivated or whatever else. Only you can make yourself do that. It is you who wholly owns your life. You are where you are because of your own actions or inactions. When you assume ownership, it empowers you and gives you control. And, that control helps provide you motivation.

3. Erase “I Can’t” and the Excuses: When my daughter was young, I taught her early that she should not use the word “can’t.” To be motivated, you have to believe in your potential and opportunity. Saying, “I can’t make money,” or, “I can’t find a new job,” is defeatist. All you’re doing to yourself mentally is providing excuses. To recharge your motivation, erase the “I can’t” and dispose of the excuses. Life is not easy. We all have challenges, but your chances of success increase exponentially if you get out of your own way.

4. Get Off the Couch: Newton’s First Law of Motion is absolutely correct: An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion. Motivation comes when you are moving forward. If you’re looking to get and stay motivated, you have to move. One of the easiest things you can do for yourself to help you nurture your motivation is to get out and connect with nature. Move. Exercise. If you live in a concrete jungle, then join a group and connect with others. But, whatever you do, don’t sit on the couch and watch the world pass by.

5. Commit: Motivation comes by committing to something. In other words, making a decision. And, when you’ve made the decision and the challenges arise, stay committed to what you decided to do. Anything worth having will become a challenge, which is always an opportunity to reaffirm your commitment. This is how we all grow as human beings. Commit to a decision, stay the course and you will see your motivation increase. 

6. Do the Work: Sustained motivation takes consistency and the only way to place fuel on the fire is to do the work. Big goals take time to achieve. It’s important to spend a little bit of time each and every day working on it–even if it’s only 15 minutes. A friend of mine is looking to begin his own business; however, he has to work at a job and cannot afford at this time to work on his own. He wakes up 2 hours before so he can work on his products and then when he returns from work at night he makes phone calls and has networking meetings. He does this every business day. 

7. Accept the Consequences: Finally, accepting responsibility for consequences is actually an opportunity to stay empowered and motivated. Again, you are the owner of your life and you have control. Take responsibilities for mistakes you’ve made along the way. This is an opportunity to learn and master your goals, with the mistakes that will occur along the way. And once you accept the consequences and learn from them, move on.

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Wayne Elsey is the founder and CEO of Elsey Enterprises (EE). Among his various independent brands, he is also the founder and CEO of Funds2Orgs, which is a social enterprise that enables nonprofits, individuals and organizations to raise funds while helping to support micro-enterprise opportunities in developing nations.

 

You’ve read 7 Motivation Principles to Help You Change Your Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading How to Stop being Scared of Success, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Wherever you live in the world, you’re in a pursuit. Some of your pursuits are dear to you. Long-term hopes and fantasies that make you dream with starry eyes.

“Functionally, a man is somewhat like a bicycle. A bicycle maintains its poise and equilibrium only so long as it’s moving forward toward something.” – Maxwell Maltz.

But maybe the prospect of achieving your goals, also makes you feel slightly uncertain. Other desires you have are a little emptier, perhaps more materialistic. They’re easier to have in the immediate future. Think of the new Macbook, the designer handbag or the new Fitbit.

Are you focusing on these items more than you need to (at the exclusion of your real goals)?

The visions that make you uncertain take the most work. But they’re also the ones worth most going for. They require some level of sacrifice that’s not just financial.

Examples include:
• Writing that book you’ve been dreaming about for years
• Participating in that talent show
• Getting out there and meeting the love of your life
• Finally getting that PhD
• Travelling the World

(Note: We can lose sight of our big picture goals easily. So, I have a special bonus. Read all the way to the end to get it.)

• The Obstacle you will Face

If you choose to step into your grandest ideas, you’re going to face your fear. It will snatch you from the bottom of your soul, and throw you into a cascading series of emotions. It will test you to see if you’re deserving of what you’re going after. You’re going to feel like you’re about to lose something.

It may be pride, ego money, or hope – or all of it. Some of us will undoubtedly run away at first sight of fear. Some of us will hide. Some of us might have to warm up to it before it warms up to us.

Fear is psychological pain, and it is that which makes it so irresistible to refute. It can make us freeze, or shake in our knees. It can make us shiver and cry… Fear, since the dawn of humanity, has been responsible for deterring some of the noblest dreams.

But it’s only by facing it, that we’re able to overcome it.

• What is Success?

Success has been connoted as anything from having a nice house to being content with living a minimal life. But the underlying similarity that lies between all definitions of success is: growth and contentment. Two seemingly paradoxical ideas. But they can work together.

If you’re not growing, in some way, you’re dying a little. If you’re not content, in some way, then you’ll feel unfulfilled.

Your success might make someone feel bad. The fact that you shine, might shine leave them to inspect their faults more closely. On the other side, thousands of people might be inspired by your light. If you experience growth, then by definition, you are successful. Success does not need to be this glittery self-aggrandizing event that makes others see how “special” you are.

The word ‘success’ is probably what made you click on this click-bait headline. And I’m glad it did, because you might now finally get closer to what you should be really pursuing.

Let me explain.

If you start to see your own sense of self-worth through the eyes of others, then you’ve fallen into a fake mirage of “success”. One that will paradoxically take you away from ‘self-contentment and growth’ – the two qualities are intrinsic to being successful.

You need to stop believing in this idea of becoming successful – it implies a destination. But being successful implies that you always have the choice each day. Do you choose to push yourself a little more in your craft? Do you focus your attention on what matters most? Do you prioritize your work?

Success means living true to yourself. Sure, you might receive the glittery things that come with serving the world with your gift i.e. the house, the fancy car, the trips. But realize that the new possessions you may have, the higher income, the new relationships – are not success.

They are the consequence of choosing to be successful, which means focusing on being true to yourself, and serving the world in the best way you can with that in mind.

• Ask yourself: How Would you Live if you only had Six months Left to Live?

Asking yourself this question puts your excuses to the side, till they no longer fit into your view. With no awareness of our death, your vision can become hazy – uncertainty creeps in. Facing it however, all your potential choices are more carefully inspected.
Your wishes and possibilities are examined under the stethoscope of life.

Clarity starts to seep into the edges of our reality until every right choice becomes more self-evident. Your feelings become secondary. You observe them with the awareness that like anything, they will pass with time. But let’s be real. Taking the risks needed to achieve your desires might not work out. You might get rejected; you might fall flat on our face, repeatedly

But the self-confidence you experience, due to having made a choice to step out of your comfort-zone, is what matters.

So ask yourself, what choices would you make, if you were going to die in the six months from this very date? Would you take the chance and move abroad? Even if you’re not too sure if it’s going to work out?

Would you take that trip you’ve been dreaming about? Even though you don’t know how it will pass?

You need to be okay with a little uncertainty. In fact, you should embrace it. Because if everything was predictable, then the magic of life would be lost.

I’m not saying you don’t need to do some thinking before making a leap. But asking yourself how you would live if you only had six months to live, might be the only way that you can avoid paralysis by analysis.

It might be the only way you’ll stop making excuses and thinking too much. The more often you’re able to stand on the edge of that cliff of uncertainty, and take that leap of faith, the more you will live your adulthood life to its fullest.

Takeaway: Accepting your uncertainties is paradoxically the only way you’ll become sure in your life.

• Inspect this thought: Who am I to deserve this success?

Our childhood has a profound impact on the way we see ourselves. Many of us have had poor upbringings, removing the glow of our inherent, positive self-image. So, as a consequence, some of us see ourselves as of lower value to other human beings. I know I used to at least, and I still suffer from this to a certain degree.

In the light of low self-confidence, any potential success feels misaligned. It goes against years of conditioning. And even the mere idea of it naturally makes us feel like impostors. Even me writing this article, it’s easy for me to tell myself… “who am I to write this?” But really, the question I should be asking is… “who I am to NOT write this article?”.

We all have the same intrinsic worth. No one is better than you, and you are not better than anyone. You are simply what you make of yourself. I am what I make of myself. While people do have different abilities, and virtues, at everyone’s base level, we all have the same human worth.

Recognizing that someone’s intrinsic value is interdependent of their career, status, or fame paradoxically frees us to attach our self-worth to what’s deep inside us, not what’s seen as “valuable” by the world.

So whenever you envision what you want to achieve, and you crackle under the thought of… am I good enough? Can do I do it? Realize that what you’re really asking yourself, is if you deserve this success. Whenever you notice the slightest inkling of self-doubt creep into your mind, change your thought pattern to something that serves you.

Takeaway: You deserve going after what you want.

“You can get everything you want in life, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” – Zig Ziglar.

So that’s it! Those are some of the important mindsets you need to instill if you want to slowly break away from the fear of success (change never happens instantaneously). If you’re interested in learning more about what you can do to increase your odds of growing and increasing your contentment levels, I’m going to give you a Free Bonus to help.

• First, I’ve put together a list of the best morning routines, so that you can feel at ease each day, so you’ll approach your work already feeling productive.
• Second, I’ve included a methodology on how to split up your day into 4 chunks, so you’ll know exactly when to indulge yourself guilt-free.
• Third, I’ll show you how to consistently celebrate your small wins, so that you feel more creative and enthusiastic about work.

If you’d like to learn how to implement all of my strategies, click below to access my eBook (9 mins read). I’ll show you the behind the scenes to every detail of the system you need to be insanely productive. (Access here).

About the Author: Samy Felice is a writer who is passionate about ideas related to living a meaningful life. His Free Book explores ways people can make success easier.

You’ve read How to Stop being Scared of Success, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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