You’re reading 7 Steps to Repair Your Relationship, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Almost everyone encounters problems at some point in a relationship. It can be very frustrating to have difficulties with your partner, especially if you are arguing a lot or can’t find a way to connect like you used to. However, if your relationship is built on a strong foundation it will be possible to find a way to fix it. Here are seven steps that can help to repair your relationship.

Acknowledge the problems

There are all sorts of reasons that a relationship can start to have problems. It could be that you find that you constantly argue without ever reaching a conclusion or maybe it’s the case that one partner feels like they are giving more to the relationship than the other. No matter what the problem is – you need to establish the reason that are you having issues. Remember that living in denial won’t do anyone any good.

Talk things through with your partner

Once you’ve established the problems you have with the relationship it’s time to have a frank and honest discussion with your partner. Bring up your feeling that there is something wrong with the relationship and open up about the way you feel about it.

It won’t do any good to be angry during this discussion – approach it calmly and gently so that your partner can feel at ease.
Remember that when you’ve had your say you need to listen carefully to your partner’s response. If they view the relationship differently you need to try to empathise with their feelings.

Find ways to compromise

The most important thing to understand is that there are going to be two sides to every relationship. Things that you consider a problem might not be an issue for your partner and vice versa. You need to find ways to find common ground and understand each other’s point of view.

Discuss what you need from the relationship that you aren’t getting and allow them to share their side of the story. You might find that once you’ve told you partner something is a problem, they will find ways to change things for you. For other issues it might be the case that you need to find a way to meet in the middle.

Go to couples counseling

If you are still finding it difficult to communicate effectively or come to any agreements on ways to move forward, it could be a good idea to consider couples counseling. Experienced counsellors and therapists can help guide you through the process of talking to each other in a way that’s effective. Speaking in a safe and controlled environment, you might find you are able to be completely honest with your partner about the challenges you face in the relationship.

Make time for each other

You might find that as your relationship has started to develop problems that you have made less time to spend with your partner to avoid arguments or conflict. Unfortunately this can lead to the issue that you are no longer connecting or spending quality time together.

It can also be an issue that people slip into a routine where they always see something at the same time. While it’s good to know when you are going to see your partner, it can lead to the relationship becoming stale if there is no excitement or variation. You should make the effort to do things you don’t normally make time for.

Spend time on your own interests

While it’s important to see your partner regularly to re-establish that connection you have been missing, you will also benefit from spending time on yourself. One common problem individuals have in relationships is that they begin to lose their independence. If you find that you are no longer doing the things that you used to love it can become a strain on the relationship. Make some time for your own interests and learn to enjoy the free time you spend away from your partner.

Restart the relationship

If you’ve been through a tough period, it’s a great idea to start doing the things you used to do when you first got together. Go on dates, spend evenings just talking to each other and make plans together. Going back to what you used to enjoy the most can be a wonderful way to rekindle the romance in a relationship.

Article provided by Mike James, an independent content writer working together with Sussex-based CBT, Life Coaching and Psychotherapy specialist Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy.

You’ve read 7 Steps to Repair Your Relationship, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 3 Techniques for Using Swimming as Moving Meditation, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Many of us struggle to find a place in which we can disconnect from the hustle and bustle, connect with our bodies, and meaningfully meditate. Sounds, temperature, light, and floor texture can all serve as distractions. But there is an extraordinary place where you can escape virtually all environmental distractions and focus on your health and well-being: your backyard swimming pool.

Underwater, your body will feel lighter. You’ll naturally shut your eyes. There will be no distinguishable sounds. There will be no clutter. Moving water will naturally engage your body without conscious effort. All these sensory withdrawals make swimming pools an optimal place for meditation.

You’ve likely used a pool countless times for fun or exercise. However, using a pool for moving meditation requires a different approach. Here are three techniques to try out moving meditation in water:

1. Swim Slowly.

Start with a slow freestyle or breaststroke. Focus on finding a repetitive breathing pattern, rather than exerting strength or swimming distance for time. While underwater, try to exhale through the nose, which will help you to slow your breathing.

Once you’ve found your rhythm, pick a particular element (visual, auditory, or tactile) on which to focus while you swim. It could be something as simple as how it feels as your fingertips submerge with each freestyle stroke. Stay focused on this as you continue to move through the water.

2. Float.

Walk or swim to the middle of your pool, and then lie flat on your back and begin to float. Allow your arms and legs to naturally extend from your body. Close your eyes. Listen to the sound of moving water.

If your pool has strong water movement, using a soft cupping movement with your hands from time to time can steer you back toward the middle.

3. Practice Aqua Yoga.

Yoga in water can be much more fluid than practicing on land because of the feeling of weightlessness. To practice, you should stand in shallow water near an edge and have access to one or two pool noodles to use for various poses.

Yoga is deeply personal, so experiment with which poses work best for you as a flow. Suggested poses to try out include Half Moon, Tree, Eagle, Big Toe, and Boat.

Your first flow will likely feel clunky as you determine what poses work best for you. Once you have a routine, though, it can be a beautiful daily dance.

You’ve read 3 Techniques for Using Swimming as Moving Meditation, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading The Importance of Morning Rituals and How to Make One, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Most people have a morning routine. They roll out of their beds, brush their teeth, and groggily stroll into their days. But if you’re reading this, you don’t want to be like most people. You want to blow past the average, get an edge on the competition, and maximize your potential. So instead of dipping your toe into your day, dive in head first by ditching the morning routine in favor of a morning ritual.

Defining Ritual

When I say ritual I’m not referring to secret or religious practices.  There are two key difference between routines and rituals:

1. Rituals intentionally affect your psyche: You can’t casually perform a ritual. Think about the difference between telling your significant other that you love them, and exchanging vows on the alter. There’s a pressure to perform well.
2. You must set aside the proper time: Rituals cannot be performed in 10 minutes. You must have enough time to perform the ritual in its entirety well. There’s no way you’ll perform anything meaningful in a rush. You can however rush routines (men shaving on their way to work for example).

Ritual connotes something more spiritual than routine does. It’s nonnegotiable. It HAS to be performed in order to achieve peak performance. We already see rituals right in front of our eyes from NBA players who dribble the ball in the same exact way before every foul shot to computers that run the same boot-up scripts every time you turn them on. Anecdotal evidence is great but I have concrete research to back me up. Researchers Francesca Gino and Michael Norton has this to say about rituals:

“Rituals performed after experiencing losses – from loved ones to lotteries – do alleviate grief, and rituals performed before high-pressure tasks – like singing in public – do in fact reduce anxiety and increase people’s confidence.”

In other words a pre-day ritual helps by reducing some of the tension you may feel about the upcoming day. In fact, the rituals, those researchers tested were simple like wearing lucky socks, or crossing your fingers. What we’re doing here goes beyond the simple superstitions. It makes you feel good and prepares you.

Establishing a Morning Ritual

Now that you know a lack of a morning ritual is holding you back, how do you go about establishing one? I can tell you firsthand that it’s not as easy as it may seem. Don’t worry, I’ll lay out all the necessary steps next.

1. Find activities that calm you. It may not be the first thing that you think so try everything you can and pick what works best for you. Meditation works well for a lot of people so experiment with that first.
2. Get Up and Move: This doesn’t have to be any hard core exercise. Anything from stretching to jogging in place qualifies. The point is to move around and get some blood moving through your veins. Cardio can wake you up better than a cup of coffee and is especially beneficial after hours of stillness in sleep.
3. Plan Out Your Day: I may get some protests from more spontaneous people, but hear me out. Planning out your day doesn’t mean you’ll know what you’re going to at every hour (but feel free to do so if you want). It means pick one or two objectives that you would like to accomplish and making sure they get done. Why? One way to spoil a perfect day is to find out a time consuming project is due the next morning. By going through your agenda early you get an idea of what needs to be done and plan accordingly.

While those three steps seem simple enough, there is some nuance involved in getting it down perfectly. Maybe over the weekend you have time to hit the gym for an hour while during the week you can barely have enough time to stretch. That’s for you to work out. Eventually though you’ll have an awesome system to jump start your day. Don’t take that advantage lightly. Often times the one who wins the race isn’t the fastest, but the one who gets the best start. Now you can beat your competition out of the gates every time.

 

You’ve read The Importance of Morning Rituals and How to Make One, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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