You’re reading How to Unearth the Root Cause of Your Procrastination – And it’s Not Laziness, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Why are you procrastinating? While superficial answers may come up (such as a lack of time management), there is often a real reason why you are procrastinating – and it is not laziness.

To surrender bad habits, understand your emotions thoroughly and be in control of them.

Get to the root of your procrastination. Once you are able to identify why you truly are procrastinating, it becomes much easier for you to stop procrastinating.

Procrastination is a symptom, not the issue.

Procrastination manifests in your mind – the more connected and conscious you are of yourself and your life, the easier it becomes for you to understand where your procrastination truly stems from and subsequently stop it.

A Simple Way to Get to The Root of Your Procrastination

The process of discovering the true cause of procrastination is a process of constant internal probing. Basically, you ask and answer a series of self-administered questions. If this is your first time doing so, it may be difficult, but keep trying and you will get to the root of your procrastination.

First, ask yourself why you are procrastinating.

Then keep probing deeper. And deeper. Ask yourself why, and go in-depth into how you are feeling and what is truly responsible for those feelings. Or ask yourself: Why does that matter?

Continue until you hit the jack pot. How would you know if you have hit the jack pot? You’ll just know it – something in your heart will go “Click!” and for that temporary moment, you’ll feel enlightened about this new discovery of yourself.

Common Root Causes of Procrastination

1) Insecurity about one’s abilities

Most of the time, we are just afraid because of a lack of self-confidence in various aspects of our lives/ character/ looks/ relationships. We go into a vicious cycle of self-doubt and negativity.

2) A subconscious fear of something negative happening

For instance, I realized that I have not cleaned my room in weeks. Here is my thought process to get to the root cause of my procrastination:

“Why am I not clearing up my room?” ->”I have no time” -> “That’s not really true, you have time to be on social media” -> “I don’t see cleaning my room as something important” -> “I am scared of being unproductive and not focusing on tasks that’s important”

The truth was that cleaning my room was an important task, but I didn’t want to to it because I’ve always associated cleaning as a very unproductive activity. Add that to the fact that I hate being unproductive, and you have the reason why.

The root reason for the same task will differ from person to person.

3) The activity has some form of implied meaning to you which you associate with negatively.

My friend has the same problem of not packing up his room, but due to reasons that are very different from mine.

“Why are you not clearing up my room?” -> “I am too lazy” -> “Why are you too lazy to clean your room?” -> “I am immature to do such adult tasks” -> “What?” -> “I guess I just don’t feel like I’m mature enough to do such adult tasks like cleaning”

When I probed deeper, I realized that it was because he saw packing his room as a very “adult” thing to do – and as someone who has just reached the age of being a legal adult – he was not ready to be seen as an adult. (That is, he is insecure about his maturity).

How About You?

What’s one task which you are procrastinating really badly on? Think of just one.

Then, I want you to think of why you really are holding it off.

—
Raelyn Tan is a blogging and digital marketing strategist at Raelyn Tan. She helps bloggers and online entrepreneurs build a solid and thriving online blog business. Sign up for her free 12 Day Blog Traffic Mini Course to get 12 days of strategies to skyrocket your blog traffic.

You’ve read How to Unearth the Root Cause of Your Procrastination – And it’s Not Laziness, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 8 Secret Habits of Highly Successful People (That Most People Don’t Know About), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

A lot has been written in the past about habits of highly successful people. But beside the obvious, there are secret habits highly successful people have which most people don’t really know about. Though very busy for instance, the president of the United States finds time to play golf, while many working dads hardly find time for a family dinner.

Similarly, there are many things these people do habitually to achieve more in little time. And somehow they are able to also maintain a healthy balance in their health and family life. Let’s take a look at some of these below:

1. They are Early To Rise and Early To Plan

The early morning hours are what I call, ‘think time’. Successful people know this, and they maximize it. For instance, they never check their emails first thing in the morning. This is the reason they don’t have hassled days nor do they appear rushed.

To be successful, take a while to think, plan, meditate and pray early in the morning. This way you start your day with a clear picture of what the day will look like. Keep it reasonably flexible, but keep it clear.

2. They Prioritize and Schedule their Work

Deadlines have a way of sifting your work and separating the trivial from the essential. Having deadlines set for each task has a way of reducing the lull in your brain when you consider all you have to do and helps you focus on a task per time.

Successful people understand this and they always work with schedules.

To practice this habit, you need to start prioritizing properly by asking yourself, “If I had just a year left to live, will I be spending time on the things I am doing today?” It works every time.

3. They find the Balance between Hard Work and Too Much Work

Work doesn’t get done if nobody is doing it. And if you have got a lot of work to do, it stands to reason that you have to work a lot.

Working hard is good. It is necessary for successful people to push themselves and to learn to cope with a little stress and discomfort. A little stress is necessary for peak productivity so long as it doesn’t become “distress”. Finding the balance is a function of our body systems and capability. Successful people understand this. They work hard, but they don’t do it to the point of breaking down.

4. They take Effective Breaks throughout the Day

One of the typical mistakes many people make when faced with a rather daunting volume of work is to push back their recess times till there is nowhere else to push it to. A survey has shown that employees who tend to take 17 minutes of break time for every 52 minutes of work are more productive.

Our minds ability to focus on a task is like a muscle. It wanes with time and constant exertion. What this means is that the longer we focus on a task without a break, the less we achieve.

Taking a break is one thing, but making it effective is a whole other story.

Most successful people make it a habit to do something different that doesn’t remind them of work during their breaks. They don’t spend their free time immersed in work. Richard Branson’s favorite sport for instance is kite boarding.

So, take a break before you break down. Take a walk, jog, go see some nature, grab a coffee or some chocolate. Watch a funny video or catch up with an episode of a movie if your break can take it.

5. They use Stress Deflectors

For many people, some soft music in the background of the working environment is all they need to overcome any volume of work and still not be stressed. For others, productivity comes to its peak when they work in a natural environment, like a garden. And when they can’t go all out to embrace nature, they put flowers and green plants in their offices or get a fish pond.

Do the same thing. Find out what helps you deflect stress and maximize it for success. This may be all you need to help you work better and achieve a lot more.

6. They Delegate and Team up

When you have done all you humanly can, you can only achieve a fixed amount. The simple reason is because you are human. To be successful usually means achieving an amazing lot in little time and this requires some insight into the art of teamwork.

Successful people are people that trust others to do what they cannot afford to do themselves. They pay people to do what they cannot do and they work with people who know what they do not know.

Bill Gates, doesn’t know a quarter of all the technical and administrative stuff that goes on in Microsoft. And he doesn’t do a lot too, he simply delegates effectively. He doesn’t have to know so much. He just has to know what he has to know.

7. They take Virtual Vacations and Lots of Sleep

Most successful people understand that it is necessary to have productive nights, if you are going to have productive days. And the productivity of your night is measured by how much sleep you get at night, seeing as the night is meant for mainly that.

It also helps to make sure that your sleeping time and the early hours of the morning coincide with a virtual vacation and a technology free period. Turn off your phone, no beeps from IM’s or emails.

This way you can actually rest while sleeping.

8. They are disciplined

Self-discipline is one of the qualities that greatly differentiates successful people from most other people. Success requires discipline and applying these tips will bring success. So you might want to explore ways of building your discipline levels.

Success doesn’t fall on people…generally success is cultivated. Do your best to cultivate these habits too. I hope you enjoy the process.

 

You’ve read 8 Secret Habits of Highly Successful People (That Most People Don’t Know About), originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 8 Strategies To Deal With Difficult People, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion” – Dale Carnegie

Imagine …

You work in a place where everyone is super-nice. No one ever gets on your nerves. No one ever frustrates you. You don’t find anyone annoying or frustrating. You don’t find anyone ‘difficult’.

The truth is you’re lucky, very lucky and very unusual too. It’s rare to get on well with everyone.

Dealing with people you find difficult is never easy. The fall-out can be far-reaching.

There was a time when I used to dread Sunday nights. For nearly two years of my life they meant absolutely no sleep. The thought of going to work filled me with dread.

I actually enjoyed my job but there was one particular person who I struggled to get on with.

This person talked over me every time I had something constructive to say. He would never look me in the eye. I felt as though he was trying to undermine me. I avoided working with him and, as a result, I become alienated from the team.

The consequence? I left my job. A job I really enjoyed.

Wherever you work, if your job involves interaction with people there are going to be times when it’s challenging. The fact is that some people wind us up, even though they might not even be trying to. Often, they don’t even know they’re doing it.

Whatever the root of the problem, here are 8 tips that will stand you in good stead:

#1 – Keep your cool

You have complete control of your own reaction. If you can keep your self-control and composure, you’ll find it easier to respond calmly and diffuse the situation before it gets out of hand. Taking your time and taking stock before reacting makes for better judgement. Sometimes, this is all it takes to avoid an escalation of the problem.

#2 – Stay detached

Picture yourself detached from the situation. See yourself looking down on it from above. Tell yourself that this person is not worth your emotional energy. Try to keep a healthy distance. Don’t get dragged into a lengthy dispute. Have a pact with yourself; don’t allow the person to see you wound up or behaving irrationally.

#3 – Be proactive not reactive

Consciously shift from a reactive to a proactive style. Some people respond better to being approached in a more direct way. Being more proactive in the way you communicate may reduce the chance of misinterpretation or misunderstanding. You may find that a mis-match of communication styles was actually the root cause of the problem.

#4 – Remove the emotion

Try not to take the person’s behaviour personally. This helps put your reactions in proportion. Often the behaviour of others says far more about them than it does about you. Remind yourself of this when the heat is on. You’ll find it easier not to take the difficult person’s actions personally.

#5 – Pick your battles

Don’t get involved unless you have to. That takes self-discipline. Sometimes it’s best to accept that rocking the boat will be counter-productive. This may be particularly true when the difficult person is a colleague more senior to you, perhaps your boss. You’ll need to make a choice in situations like this as to whether you get involved. If you can’t do your job properly without dealing with the difficult person, you have no choice. If not, it may be best just to stay clear.

#6 – Separate the person from the issue

Try to balance ‘managing’ the difficult relationship with achieving what you need from a business point of view. Think carefully about how you will raise the issue and the kind of language you will use. It helps to practise some conversation starters beforehand such as: “I appreciate how hard you’ve worked on that, now we need to…” or “That’s really helpful information, how do you propose I…”

#7 – Inject humour

A disarming smile or a good dose of well-timed humour can literally act as a magic potion. Injecting a little humour is a great way of diffusing a situation quickly. Throwing in the odd ‘dry’ comment can be enough to get everyone back on course. Humour doesn’t back people into a corner. It can soften the atmosphere and can give people a way out.

#8 – Stand up to bullies

We all know bullies pick on those who they perceive to be weaker.  You’ll need to try to stand up to bullies rather than avoid them. It is essential to overcome any fear of confrontation. Make a conscious effort to act assertively and speak up.

So don’t find yourself losing sleep because of a difficult person. Use these 8 tips to help you feel more confident when you next come against one.

I’d love to know how you get on with them. Real examples would be great.

You’ve read 8 Strategies To Deal With Difficult People, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 5 Ways to Hack Your Education and Further Your Career, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Although there are a handful of success stories about people who made it big without any formal learning to back them up, such as Steve Jobs or Richard Branson, for most of us the reality is that education can open doors and help us advance in our career in a way that hard work and talent alone simply can’t.

But what can you do if the typical university route hasn’t worked for you or just isn’t accessible? There are a number of reasons why university might not be right for you, from a lack of time or money to not knowing exactly what direction you want to take your career in.

Whatever the case may be, if you’ve decided that university isn’t a good fit for you at this point in time, but still want to learn and advance in your career, here are a few alternative ways to educate yourself and earn qualifications.

1. Consider taking a certificate course

There are many professions you can get into without a university degree, and in many cases, successfully completing a certificate with an accredited education provider is enough to get you off to a good start for far less than a degree would cost. This includes jobs in accounting and finance, real estate, tourism and hospitality, project management, fitness training and others.

Many certificate courses can even be followed fully or partially online, which allows you to plan your studies around your work and other commitments. If you decide to go this route, however, be sure to do your research and choose an online learning institution that is properly accredited and will provide adequate academic assistance.

If in doubt, the National Center for Education Statistics provides a College Navigator tool, which will allow you to verify any school’s accreditation and even check things like graduation and retention rates.

2. Invest in short courses and workshops

If you don’t have time to take on a degree or even certificate course, taking short courses or attending workshops can be a great way to fill any gaps in your knowledge and show employers that you’re serious about your professional development.

Short courses may cover any area from soft skills such as communication and leadership to industry-specific skills like accounting, web design or photography, so think about what skills you’d like to develop further or the areas you want improve in.

3. Take introductory courses online for free

If learning is your primary goal and you aren’t too concerned with qualifications, there are plenty of college-level courses or MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses) you can take online, and most won’t cost you a thing.

Some of the most popular providers include Coursera, EdX and Khan Academy. While some of these do offer certificates of completion, it’s important to be aware that most employers still tend to be skeptical of such certificates. MOOCs are, however, an excellent way to learn more about a particular topic or skill at no cost, or even find out whether or not a specific area of study actually interests you before you make a monetary commitment.

4. Use your prior experience to get qualified

Even if you’ve been in the workforce for a number of years and feel competent in your field, there’s a good chance you’ll run into problems when changing jobs or looking for a promotion if you don’t have any formal qualifications to back you up.

In this case, recognition of prior learning (RPL) can help you turn the skills and knowledge you’ve gained through informal learning such as work, training courses or volunteering into a recognized qualification, without having to start from scratch.

Alternatively, if you already have a bachelor’s degree but want to enhance your professional prospects by earning a graduate degree, you may be able to fast track your MBA by converting your experience and seeking credit exemptions from a university.

5. Volunteer in the field you hope to enter

One of the biggest hurdles newly graduated students face is a lack of experience. By volunteering in the field you hope to enter, you’ll be able to learn on the job and gain transferable skills while also making contacts within an industry, which can be invaluable once you start looking for a job.

Another big benefit to volunteering is that it gives you the chance to explore the career you’re interested in and make an informed decision rather than spending a lot of money on a degree or diploma only to discover that it’s not what you want to do after all.

Sites like Volunteer Match or Idealist can help you find volunteer opportunities that match your skills and interests. Just make sure that whatever you end up devoting your time to will be a good fit and help you develop or sharpen your skills in some way.

Marianne Stenger is a writer with Open Colleges. She covers career development, workplace productivity and self-improvement. You can connect with her on Twitter and Google+, or find her latest articles here.

You’ve read 5 Ways to Hack Your Education and Further Your Career, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 4 Lessons I Learned as a Depressed Teenager, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

I was diagnosed with depression as a young teenager in middle school. Needless to say, my teenage years weren’t very fun.

To put it simply, I hated myself. Every day I would cycle through emotions of dread, sadness, frustration, anger, and guilt, from the time I woke up to the moment I fell asleep.

No doubt my raging teen hormones played a part in that cycle. But even today, on occasion, I find myself experiencing the same cycle of negative emotions:

I wake up, dreading the day to come for no particular reason.

Sadness takes over as I leave home to work at a job I don’t enjoy.

Frustration and anger build up knowing that I have to keep working, that I have no choice, that I’m powerless to change.

And finally, guilt sets in. Why can’t I appreciate what I have? My job pays well. I just bought a house. I have a loving wife and a great 4-year old son. I shouldn’t be sad or angry! I’m supposed to feel happy and fulfilled!

Eventually I fall asleep, hoping tomorrow I’ll be back to my normal self.

Depression is an ongoing battle for me. However, it’s a battle that I don’t fight alone. It’s a battle that I feel nobody should have to fight alone, which is why I write: to help myself, you, and your friends and family take the fight to depression.

In this article, I’d like to discuss 4 lessons I learned about depression as a depressed teenager. I’ll also show how you can use these lessons to help yourself or a loved one with depression.

1. At its peak, depression is far worse than just feeling sad.

During an episode of depression, I often go through the cycle of emotions I listed above: dread, sadness, frustration, and guilt, among others. However, the worst part of the cycle isn’t when I feel the most negative…

It’s when I feel nothing.

No emotion, positive or negative. No thoughts. Nothing. It’s as if my brain shuts down, yet I’m still awake.

During these episodes, which can last hours (I’ve heard of some people having episodes like these for days or weeks. I couldn’t begin to imagine that), I can’t function. So all I can do is curl up in a ball or lay in bed and wait for it to pass.

My wife’s seen me in this state before, and it’s not pretty. She knows that all she can do is to tell me she loves me and assure me she’ll be there. Though she can’t snap me out of it, she can be there to support me, both before the episode and after.

2. Depression isn’t just “a chemical imbalance” or just “the environment”.

I enjoy researching depression. I also enjoy reading people’s stories about depression. That being said, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come across this argument

“Depression is caused by the environment. Change the environment, and the depression leaves.”

“No! Depression is a chemical imbalance. Only antidepressants and therapy can fix it.”

Anytime I see this argument I can’t help but ask myself, why are people wasting time arguing over this?

Scientists have been researching depression for decades. Despite this we still aren’t 100% sure what causes depression or how to cure it. So how can anyone claim to know whether somebody’s depression is caused solely by the environment or by chemical imbalance?

I have almost 15 years of experience fighting depression, and I can tell you these two things with no doubt in my mind:

As a teenager, I was morbidly obese, had poor grades, few friends, no goals or aspirations, and a dysfunctional family. Even if I had little chemical imbalance (and at times, I didn’t), I’d have still been depressed.

On the other hand, if my depression were purely a chemical imbalance, then even if I were in good health, had good grades, many close friends, and a loving family… I’d have STILL been depressed!

Everyone’s experience with depression is different. That being said, to help somebody suffering from depression, both avenues–the brain and the environment–should be explored.

3. Antidepressants help, but taking action helps far more.

Let me tell you a bit about my experience with antidepressants as a teenager.

I had a lot of reasons to be depressed (as I outlined in lesson 2): I was morbidly obese, weighing over 260 pounds by age 14. I had very few close friends. I hated school. My mother was supportive, but she suffered from bouts of depression and alcohol addiction–as did many of my other family members.

I started taking antidepressants like Remeron and Prozac in this time period. They didn’t eliminate my depression, but they did help me feel slightly more optimistic about life. I didn’t hate myself so much for being overweight and I got along better with other people as well as my family.

But here’s the thing: Antidepressants didn’t change my weight. They didn’t make me any new friends. I tolerated school, but still had no motivation, no drive to succeed. And they most certainly didn’t help my family problems.

I told my doctor that antidepressants made me feel “content with being mediocre” (dumb phrase, I know). Instead of giving me the energy to change, antidepressants just made me more tolerant–more accepting–of my problems.

The realization that antidepressants actually discouraged me from taking action led me to stop taking them. At first, my depression got worse, but over time–as I lost weight, made friends and eventually started my own family–things got better.

I still have episodes of depression, of course, but nowhere near to the extent I did as a young adult.

Now I don’t mean to encourage anyone to stop taking antidepressants. If they’re helping you or a loved one out, by all means, keep taking them! I personally found the drawbacks (the side effects, cost, and feeling of complacency) to far outweigh the benefit (feeling less bad).

My suggestion, rather, is to not rely on antidepressants to “fix” your depression like I did. Instead, focus your efforts on taking action–whether that action is therapy, joining a support group, exercising, or researching new treatments.

4. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for being told no.

Antidepressants weren’t the only thing holding me back from taking action. Sometimes I held myself back–either by giving up too soon, never trying to begin with, or most commonly, letting my depression get the best of me.

In my sophomore year of high school, I did something crazy: I signed up for advanced physical education. “Advanced” just meant more jogging exercises and weightlifting than normal P.E.

After my first day of advanced P.E., I was ready to quit. I couldn’t handle the strenuous jogging exercises and I could barely lift anything. I told myself I was a fat nerdy kid surrounded by jocks and athletes. I didn’t belong there.

After school was over, I told Mom to take me out of the class. I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal, that she’d take me out and sign me up for a normal class.

But wouldn’t you know it… She said no. And because of that no, I lost over 60 pounds in 3 years. I felt better than I had in over a decade, both physically and mentally.

Thanks to that no, my depression lifted for the first time in over 5 years. I may have hated her for saying no at first, but today I couldn’t be more grateful.

As it turns out, that wouldn’t be the first no to have a positive impact on my life. While I attended high school, I worked at a local pizza place. My sister was the manager.

One day, during a really bad depression episode, I told her I was quitting. The job certainly didn’t help my depression, and I dreaded every day I had to work.

You know what she said? No. You can’t just quit.

She explained how she felt about me and my depression. She also talked about the importance of work ethic and why it’s impractical to quit a job on a whim–especially later on when you have bills to pay and mouths to feed.

I chose to stay. I still didn’t like working there, but her lesson helped me keep paying my bills and taught me good work ethic that I still have today.

A couple years passed after that. High school ended and I found a new, less stressful job. My parents wanted me to attend college, but there was a problem: I didn’t want to!

You see, while my depression wasn’t as bad as the years before, I still suffered from a complete lack of motivation.I had no goals, no aspirations, no desire to go anywhere with my life. I just didn’t want anything.

When I told Mom how I felt, she said no. You’re going to college.

I told my sister about it, and she said the same thing. No. You’re going to college.

I told a good friend of mine about how I felt, and guess what? He said it too! No. You’re going to college.

So I bit the bullet and went to a community college while working part-time. A few years later I emerged with an associate’s degree, knowledge, and many life lessons as a result of attending college and living in an apartment with friends in a new town.

My family and friends were supportive of me. They knew the impact depression had on my life. However, they also knew that enabling me would set me up for failure in the long run. So instead, they empowered me to take action–to keep going even after I’d given up–and gave me the strength to take my life places I never thought I’d go.

Thanks to them, I have an education, good health, a decent job, a home, and a wife and a son.

I may not have appreciated their decisions at first, but the long-term benefits were astounding. If not for their firm–but loving–support, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Closing thoughts

To wrap up this article, I’d like to summarize the 4 lessons I learned and show you how you can apply them to your life:

1. If a depressed loved one of yours is experiencing an intense episode of depression, all you can do is give him/her your undivided love and support. Don’t get frustrated at your apparent lack of progress. Accept that you can’t break him/her out of the spell; instead, stay supportive and be there with open arms for when the spell ends.
2. More than likely a chemical imbalance in the brain and environmental factors are contributing to your loved one’s depression. A combination of antidepressants, therapy, and/or exercise and a review of the environment (such as his/her living situation, friends/family, job, etc) are in order.
3. Treat antidepressants as you would a daily vitamin: Let them aid you in your fight, but don’t rely on them to fix everything.
4. Help and encourage your loved one to take action. This might mean starting an exercise regime, getting a new job, joining a support group, visiting a doctor or therapist, and so on. Empower him/her to take back control of their life. Don’t sit idly and let depression prevent your loved one from getting the help he/she needs to live a normal, happy life.

Thanks for reading.

———–

Joshua Keith enjoys researching depression and sharing practical tips and advice on fighting depression on his website Endepression.org.

You’ve read 4 Lessons I Learned as a Depressed Teenager, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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