While some people are naturally more assertive, others are naturally more submissive. In today’s world, choosing to be more assertive can help you be more successful.

Assertive people tend to be better communicators. They have a better chance of ultimately getting what they want. They are more satisfied with their lives and get more respect from their peers and superiors, too.

However, if you are naturally submissive, learning how to be more assertive can be tough. You’ll probably think:

· I don’t want to sound like a jerk.
· I don’t like confrontation.
· It’s easier for other people.
· It’s just not who I am.

But, there’s a lot on the line when it comes to being assertive. So, don’t associate being assertive with being a jerk and don’t convince yourself that it’s only something “other people” can do.

You can make yourself more assertive and do so without coming off as disrespectful or insensitive. Here are some strategies to help you out.

Prioritize respect

The fastest way to look like a jerk is to disrespect someone.

No matter how assertive you want to be or what situations you find yourself in, you must create a foundation of respect if you want to succeed.

For example, you need to learn how to make assertive statements at the proper time and place to avoid embarrassing or undermining anyone. You have to know how to listen carefully to other opinions before expressing yours. In addition to that, you also have to keep a professional and cordial tone.

These are just the basics. At this point in your career, you should already have a solid knowledge of the things that show respect.

See Also: 10 Ways To Earn the Respect of Others

Take baby steps

You don’t have to go from being fully passive to fully assertive overnight. You don’t even have to challenge yourself with big events, such as asking for a promotion, right away.

Instead, start with little things until you feel more comfortable expressing yourself.

For example, you could let your co-workers know that you’d like them to brew a fresh pot of coffee if they take the last of the old one. This is going to ease you into being more assertive while helping your co-workers recognize the more assertive version of you.

Think through your words carefully

Being assertive means being a clearer communicator, too.

It’s impossible to be assertive when you’re rambling about things. Try to be as logical and precise as possible when you express your ideas and needs. If necessary, take a moment to think through what you’re going to say before you actually say it.

This will help you collect your thoughts, filter out the points you really want to get across and make you feel more confident about expressing them.

Remove the niceties

In our society, we’ve adopted a number of social niceties to mask our real intentions. For example, you’ll often encounter phrases like “When you have time, I was wondering if you could help me with…” instead of “Please help me with…”

The former may seem more polite, but the latter is clearer, more direct, and probably more respectable, too. People appreciate straightforwardness and are more likely to feel manipulated if you stuff your speech full of unnecessary niceties.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. It will become more comfortable in time.

See Also: 4 Keys To Speaking Your Mind With Confidence

Be sincere

This should be obvious, but it’s a shame how many people ignore this key element of being assertive. Assertiveness is about making your thoughts and feelings known and asking for things you need directly.

Trying to be more persuasive or seem nicer by making up lies or bending the truth are strategies that won’t work. If you want people to respect you and if you want to become more effective in your delivery, you need to speak from the heart. Again, this will become more comfortable in time.

Remain open to negotiation and disagreement

You can’t always get what you want. No matter how assertive you are or how successful you’ve become, you’re going to face disagreement, resistance, and flat-out rejection.

You have to be prepared for this or you’ll lose face and become intimidated the next time you encounter the same situation. You need to open yourself up to the possibility of negotiation and compromise.

Being assertive isn’t just about “getting your own way”. It also involves being more open to further communication which can help you get closer to what you really want.

Being assertive without being a jerk boils down to being respectful of others and being in control of your actions. There’s a fine line between assertiveness and arrogance. As long as you know where that line is, you’ll know how to be more assertive without offending anyone.

The post How To Be More Assertive Without Becoming Disrespectful appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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Googling the definition of “flexibility” gets you phrases like “the quality of bending easily without breaking” and “willingness to change or compromise”.

Becoming a more flexible person reflects the same things. Flexibility can help you deal with all kinds of life situations. It can even lead to adventure and learning.

If you are wondering how to become more flexible in life, here are some of the most effective tips you can try.

Start small

Becoming flexible doesn’t happen overnight. Pushing too much could actually set you back. Similar with physical flexing, it can hurt, too.

Instead of rushing, start by trying new things on your free time. Change up your environment and choose a different place to grab food for lunch.

Remember the sensation of opening up to something new and different. Keep this feeling in mind and it can get you through any unforeseen change of events or an unexpected invitation.

Stretch your brain

When you engage your imagination and problem-solving skills, it’s like training and preparing your brain to adapt to slow or sudden life situations. Here’s how you can do that:

Go people watching.

When I write fiction, the things I see give me ideas for dialogue. You can do the same thing and spend some of your free time looking at something that makes you curious.

You can also try working on a puzzle or playing a game without consulting the guide. Embrace the mistakes or awkwardness as part of the learning process. The way you work your imagination can help you achieve the flexibility you’ll need in your life.

Rethink your to-do list

Is your to-do list extremely loaded with tasks? Do you manage to tackle everything on that list?

Maybe you do, but at the price of being stuck in a constant state of “have-to”. And if you’re constantly saying “-but I have to do this thing”, being spontaneous can be incredibly stressful. You may even have a hard time adjusting to the sudden changes you have to make in your schedule.

To avoid all these inconveniences, try breaking up your to-do list into sections by following these ideas:

Things you must do: Create a section in your to-do list that will include things you must absolutely complete before tomorrow. It should contain more time-sensitive tasks that need to be done right away.

Consider yourself productive once you knock out this list. Since it’s likely to be much shorter than the other sections you’ll have in your list, it will give you more time to unwind or deal with whatever life throws at you.

Things you’d like to do, but don’t have to: This section could include tasks that won’t lead to major consequences if you’re unable to get to them. It could also function kind of like a bucket list for the week. You could exercise flexibility by choosing a few of the items on a whim instead of having to do them all.

Approaching goals and events: Like with the first section, you’ll need to conquer this section eventually. But, unlike the first section and more like the second section, you don’t have to get it done today.

You can keep this section in the back of your head while planning for the day.

See Also: Todo List Apps for People Who Don’t Like Todo Lists

Occasionally change up your morning/night routine

If your existing routine is making you feel dull and bored, it’s probably the right time to change things up.

Be on the lookout for more pleasant or efficient ways to add spice to your day. It can be as simple as changing your breakfast or adding a new skin care product in your night routine.

You can also change the ways you do things in the morning. For example, if you have been used to eating your breakfast in your dining room, consider taking your food tray to your patio. Eating outdoors can make you feel more energetic.

In addition to that, changing your routine can also make you feel productive, energetic, and flexible. It’ll help you realize that there are several ways to get a single task done.

See Also: 8 Positive Morning Routines to Transform your Day

Question the norm

By norm, I’m referring to the things you were taught.

Let’s use your mom’s macaroni recipe (whether it exists or not) as a simple example. So long as you stick to it, you know what kind of taste you can expect from it.

But what happens when you’re short on some ingredients or you don’t have a stove? Considering the recipe, you may think that you can no longer make the same macaroni.

That is until you start asking yourself: Why does the recipe involve these steps? What role do the ingredients have in the dish? What makes this dish so predictable?

I don’t have a stove… but can I use a microwave and still succeed?

By questioning the norm, you open yourself up to new ways to approach something.

Considering the example, you discover substitutes for the ingredients you’re short on. You discover a new taste by measuring out the ingredients a little differently, which also helps you cook the meal in the microwave.

This isn’t to say that you have to discard your mom’s recipe. You simply gain another recipe through creative improvisation. Hopefully, it’ll taste pretty good, too!

Don’t force it

A flexible life means being more creative and resourceful. It requires a lot of trial and error.

Don’t feel stressed out because of the changes that come your way. The lessons you’ll learn along the way can help you become more flexible in life.

The post 6 Ways To Become More Flexible In Life appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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