Ever had an insult cut you so deep that it still stings years later?

Mine occurred in my early 20s – the day after I’d been dumped. It was a deserved break-up. I’d treated her terribly for months. As I went to unfriend her on Facebook, I spotted the following status:

“It’s funny when you see how ugly someone is on the inside, how ugly they become on the outside.”

Urgh. This hit home hard. Not only because I’d been a bad boyfriend, but also because these words were so shockingly true.

She’d described a sensation that happens to all of us when we truly hate someone. In her eyes, I was an ogre.

It hurt, but it also taught an important lesson about inner and outer beauty.

–The power of perception–

Have you browsed through photos of an ex and wondered what you were thinking, even though you used to be besotted? Or seen yourself in the mirror and cringed, despite being delighted with your appearance days earlier?

This is the brain’s reticular activating system (RAS) in action. It controls our selective focus, deciding what captures our attention and what remains as a background blur.

Studies suggest that this function is programmed to focus on whatever matches our inner belief system. If we believe someone is seriously awesome, our RAS searches for evidence to back that up. But when we don’t like someone, our brain focuses on their flaws.

This works for personalities and physical features. Yes, our brains actually perceive pictures of a partner differently depending on how we feel about them.

–Why inner beauty is important–

This theory explains why no mother thinks their son is ugly – or why so many husbands believe they have the hottest wife in the world.

It also explains why I fell for my ex in the first place. When I first set eyes on her, I thought she was nothing special. But then I spotted her dancing crazily on the nightclub table. Suddenly, she was the sexiest woman in the venue – and I had to have her. My perception flipped within minutes.

This phenomenon may be even more powerful with women. Sure, being physically attractive plays a part when they’re selecting a partner, but it’s in their DNA to find a good fit for raising a family. She wants a man that can be a fantastic role model for her children.

That’s why qualities like confidence, honesty and a strong character are arguably more important to her than being handsome.

M. Farouk Radwan, psychologist and founder of 2knowmyself.com, explains: “A man can choose his life partner in seconds after seeing her, but a woman usually needs more time to assess the man’s personality traits, as most women give them higher weight than looks.

“Of course, a woman would like to be with an attractive man, but to most women, looks won’t count that much, provided that the man looks acceptable and that he possesses the important personality traits they are looking for.”

–Why good-looking men get all the girls–

If this theory is true, why aren’t there tons of short, fat, bald dudes dating supermodels?

Sadly, most of these men are so caught up with their less-than-perfect appearance they can’t show the qualities that women are actually looking for. They don’t feel entitled to be confident, unstifled, daring, strong-willed ambitious etc.

Meanwhile, the tall strong sports athlete has no issue showing these attributes. Society gives these stereotypes permission to act like God’s gift to women. They’re expected to be bold, sociable, secure in their own skin, so it’s simple for them to be this way.

My advice for men and women who don’t meet society’s ideal standards of beauty? Stop complaining about being too tall, short, fat, skinny, black, white. It doesn’t matter. Do what you can to improve your body, fashion, nutrition – then work on your inner beauty.

Smile big, laugh often, become more sociable, be comfortable in your own skin. Give compliments, help others, find your passion, make bold decisions, follow your dreams. Live life to its fullest.

You’ll be amazed how this affects your dating life. Women will be falling at your feet. They’ll call you handsome, sexy etc regardless of what you actually look like.

It’s funny when they see how beautiful you are on the inside, how beautiful you become on the outside.

See Also: 6 Ways On How To Attract Love In Your Life 

 

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Let’s face it – keeping your family healthy is a full time job.

Even when we want our spouse and children to eat healthy meals, we struggle due to lack of time, tempting food commercials, and the downright convenience of processed meals.

But we can still make an effort to provide better meals. We can do this by simply championing whole foods and having our meal plans revolve around them.

Best Healthy Foods for Your Family

• Oatmeal

If you want avoid any 10 AM cravings, you should give your breakfast a nice fiber boost with a bowl of oatmeal. Furthermore, oatmeal also contains soluble fiber that will help you control your cholesterol levels and insoluble fiber which will keep your family satisfied throughout the day.

• Raspberries

Raspberries are really dark fruits, but did you know that this means that they are laden with fiber and antioxidants? They also possess a good amount of Vitamin C. A cup of the fruit contains around 8 grams of fiber.

• Barley

Barley has the highest fiber content of all whole grains. Your average pearled barley pack has around 6 grams per cup after cooking. And that’s why you should start serving it as a side dish with almost every meal.

• Broccoli

Last but not least, we have a member of the cruciferous family of vegetables. And if you are not aware, cruciferous veggies are full of nutrients. Broccoli, for instance, packs a ton of antioxidants that have certain cancer-preventing benefits. Also, a single cup of broccoli has more than 5 grams of fibers.

Junk Food Alternatives

Fast food restaurants in the United States serve roughly 50 million customers every day. Furthermore, according to CDC’s newest findings, more than a third of (around 34% to be exact) of children between ages 2 and 19 eat fast food on a daily basis.

As we all know, fast food is extremely high in fat and sugar and awfully low in nutrients. Nevertheless, we cannot deny the fact that junk food still is tempting for young children.

You can try to cut down on the number of times you and your family go out for meals. Alternatively, you can serve these healthy alternatives instead:

French Fries – Try preparing some baked grits on your oven with a dash of salt.
Fried Chicken – Grilled chicken is a great, low-fat alternative to KFC.
Ice Cream – Yogurt and fresh fruit smoothies should satisfy your children’s need for sugar.
Potato Chips – For younger children, try baking vegetable chips, and for older ones, buy some nuts.

See Also: Four Simple Ways to Teach Your Kids to Say “NO” to Junk Foods

How to Help Your Family Eat Better

Now, for our spouses and parents, keeping loved ones on a healthy diet will always be a full time job. But even when you’re armed with the healthiest fruits, veggies and meats, making sure that your family sticks to a healthy diet isn’t always an easy task. But you shouldn’t feel discouraged at all.

You see, even small, seemingly insignificant changes to your daily routine can have a huge effect on your family’s overall health.

• Mix Things up As Often as Possible

Who says that a healthy diet has to be boring? For instance, did you know that it can be beneficial to eat something sweet in the morning to hold back carvings later in the day? Well, according to Tel Aviv University research, if you have a little chocolate in the morning, you won’t feel so tempted to eat something sweet during the day.

Nevertheless, you should limit your children’s sugar intake to about three teaspoons a day; and don’t worry, many recipes taste just as good with less sugar. Pinterest is a wonderful companion at this time as you can pin numerous healthy recipes and ideas onto your boards.

And if you feel like it, you can consider using a meal delivery company that deliveries fresh recipes and groceries on a weekly basis for that little bit of help.

• Stop Eating in Front of the TV

Who doesn’t eat in front of TV from time to time? Most of us are guilty of it. But did you know that eating while watching TV or YouTube clips can directly impact your awareness and memory and make it harder to recall the amount of food consumed? In 2013, a group of UK scientists discovered that people who eat while distracted consume up to 25% more calories, according to Daily Mail.

The bottom line is – if you’re paying too much attention to the screen in front of you, you are not really paying any attention to what and how much of it is going into your or your kids’ mouths. A nice family meal, centered on the dining table will not only provide a great platform to your family to connect with each other, but it also gives you an opportunity to eat more mindfully.

Final Thoughts

Finally, in order to influence your kids’ eating habits, you have to make sure that every member of family sits down to eat together at approximately the same time every day. Not only will you be able to monitor your family’s eating habits, you’ll be able to identify possible problems and deal with them early.

Family meal times are a great opportunity to catch up on your children’s’ daily lives, and talk and listen to your loved ones without the distraction of smartphones, computers or TV. The simple act of talking to a parent over dinner will play a big role in boosting your children’s morale and self-esteem later on.

See Also: Shifting Your Family To The “Real Food” Diet 

 

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