7 Poker Skills You Can Use in Real Life

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Poker is an activity that can teach you useful new abilities and skills. It won’t turn you into a superhero, but it can provide you with sharpened skills that can be helpful in the face of ‘dangerous and risky situations’.

1. Odds

poker odds

Mastering the concept of odds and expected value is crucial to success at poker. Ater all, you need to be able to calculate whether the amount in the pot justifies the risk of betting.

Understanding the odds can be handy in other parts of life too. For example, what are the odds of you achieving a promotion you want to apply for? Knowing your statistical chances based on a variety of factors alters your preparation for the role, how you approach your interview, and how you justify the pleasure/disappointment when the role is given.

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2. Damage limitation

Being able to restrict losses is something every gambler has to learn if they want to get good at it – and there are plenty of daily life situations where it can be handy too.

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Say your girlfriend says to you that she is ‘fine’, in response to a query with that all-too familiar tone that implies the exact opposite. Clearly damage has already been done so being able to pick up on this could be the difference between a brief spat or a month spent sleeping on the sofa.

3. Discipline

Playing poker will teach you about discipline as you need to be able to manage your bankroll to have a minimum of 50 buy-ins at stakes you play. This is so you can cope with losses.

This is the same self-discipline that will get you out of bed when it’s a cold January morning and you don’t feel like hitting the gym.

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4. Bluffing

We all know that this is central to poker but there are real-life occasions when knowing how to fib with a straight face can get you out of danger.

One such example would be if you visit friends who have just had a baby and they ask you to comment on his or her appearance. We all know babies look like Alfred Hitchcock, but need to bluff and say ‘beautiful’.

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5. Half bluffing

In Texas Hold’em, the half bluff is a situation whereby you bluff but success is not solely dependent on your opponent falling for it. There are real-life situations where it can be really helpful.

Say all of your friends are talking about the Game of Thrones books but you have only seen the television version. Operating the sort of half bluff you would use when playing online poker in the middle of this tricky GoT situation can help you navigate the conversation by letting them think you know all about it – when it fact you only have half the knowledge.

6. Raising the stakes

In poker this means increasing the amount you are betting but upping the ante can be a useful tactic in other parts of life as well.

If you are worried about who your girlfriend is talking to on Facebook, giving her your password will challenge her to show the same trust in you thereby letting you satisfy your curiosity/insecurity.

7. Dealing with failure

dealing with failure

Even the best poker players lose sometimes and have to be able to handle it without chasing their losses and making it worse.

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In daily life, this can help you when you get knocked back by the girl you have been eyeing across the bar all night. It will remind you not to keep ordering more drinks and trying again in ever-more drunken fashion.

See Also: Why Temporary Defeat Is Not Permanent Failure

Superheroes are not real, but if you master these skills and apply them in life, few will doubt your superpowers in sticky real-life situations.

 

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10 Ways To Let Go Of Jealousy

Ah jealousy. The ugly green monster that manages to invade each and every one of us at some point in our lives. Nobody likes him yet we still let him in. Sometimes he slips in when we aren’t looking and when we realize he’s arrived we embrace and feed him. But why do we do that and how can we stop him from moving in and renting space for too long? Jealousy stems from fear so what we often mistake as jealousy, is actually fear. It also comes from a place of lack. Lack of self confidence, self esteem, self respect, you get the idea.

Jealousy is a funny thing really. We are often jealous of things that don’t even make sense to anyone else but us. In our minds, there’s a good and just reason. Others will look at us and shake their heads and wonder what on earth we are going on about. There comes a time though that eventually we just get so tired of being stuck in jealous mode and don’t know how to let go. Here are a few ways to help you along your letting go of jealousy journey.

Young couple sulking after conversation sitting on sofa

Young couple sulking after conversation sitting on sofa

Get to the source.

Where does this feeling come from right at this moment? Is it fear based or lack based? Find out why you feel like this and sort out the underlying issue. You will soon see once you do that, the jealousy diminishes too.

Face that fear.

And flick it away. You know what the fear is so you need to recognize it for what it’s worth and face it. Head on. Is it something you really want to do but think you can’t? That’s fear talking. You can do anything.

Dump the negative.

Negative people, negative thought patterns. Anything negative in your life that no longer serves you, get rid of it. jealousy will show up in this and it will stay as long as you keep that negative attitude. Dump the attitude, lose the jealous.

Comparing is for produce.

Stop comparing yourself to others. You are good enough just the way you are and you have skills and talents that other people don’t have. We are all very good at something that no one else is. Embrace your uniqueness and your talents. They belong to you and they are amazing.

Calm your imagination.

Imagination really is a wonderful thing but when it gets out of control and starts making up stories in your head, it’s time to get a grip on it. Not everything in our minds is true. Remember that and you’ll be better off.

Be honest.

With yourself and whoever is causing this latest fit of jealousy. Talk to them and see if you can sort it out between the two of you. oftentimes talking it out with the root of the problem does more than solve it, it also strengthens your relationship.

Trust is not a four letter word.

Learn to trust or relearn to trust if you have to. Too many times we don’t trust the right people and we end up trusting the wrong ones. Because of this, we tend to stop trusting all together. First and foremost, trust your gut instinct. It never lies.

Forgiveness is key.

Forgive yourself, the people who hurt you, the people you feel you can’t trust, forgive everybody and anybody who you feel is the source of your jealousy. Forgive and let go.

Act different.

I don’t mean change who you are. if you normally would have lashed out in anger, try being kind and gentle instead and see how that works. It will certainly alter your jealous state and may even bring some peace to you.

Live your life.

Stop trying to be someone you’re not or acting like someone else or wanting what they have. Be you. You are perfect just the way you are. also stop trying to impress people because Sally does. Don’t be like Sally. Be like you.

Jealousy certainly is ugly but if you learn to recognize it and deal with it immediately, you will soon find that you get jealous less and less as time goes on.

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Get “In the Zone” on Command with a Focus Song

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The Power of Focus

I have a friend, Matt, who listens to the same song on repeat every time he works on his computer. The exact same song. On repeat. All the time. Yes, he’s a little crazy. When I asked him about it, he said it helps him focus.

Turns out, he’s been listening to this same song since college. That’s four years of undergrad, five years of graduate school, and several more years working in college ministry. I was flabbergasted.

“You’ve listened to the same song on repeat for almost two decades?!” I asked in disbelief.

He just shrugged and said, “Man, I don’t even hear it anymore. I just immediately get in the zone.”

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Now, that stayed with me. He had found a way to summon at will that elusive and prized aspect of productivity – focus, so he can get into the invaluable deep work mode.

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Music as White Noise

listening to music

There are programs like Focus at Will designed to offer music stations tailored to aid your focus. The idea is to open their site or app, plug into the ambient music, and the focus is automatic.

I love this idea, but it has a few drawbacks:

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1) There is a monthly subscription fee. It may be worthwhile, but I’d like to see if I can do the same thing on my own for free.

2) It requires the Internet. I prefer to be entirely unplugged when I write or study. Any connectivity seems counter to the goal of focus.

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3) The music is always changing. With music designed for focus, I find variety distracting. The switch from song to song is something my brain naturally pays attention to, even if just for a moment. Monotony, however, is easy to block out.

That’s why I have a “focus” song, just like Matt.

When it’s time to get zeroed in on a task, I cue up my focus song and BAM! Just like that, I am in the zone.

Other White Noises

focus music

I actually have a few focus songs at different tempos, based on the kind of work I’m trying to get done. Sometimes, when I’m reflecting, I want ambient classical. Other times, I’m pounding out the words and I prefer electronic or rock.

That handful of songs alone accounts for more than half the playback time on my iTunes account.

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It doesn’t have to be a single song, and it doesn’t have to be instrumental. It could be a whole album you know by heart. But try a single instrumental song first since the more monotonous it is, the more focused you can be.

I also really like white noise services like the “Rain, Rain” mobile app. It has beautiful soundscapes of thunderstorms, crackling fire, waves crashing on the beach and even household appliances. Each sound is designed to block out everything around you and help you get in the zone right away.

So, the next time you have trouble focusing, put a focus song on repeat.

Pretty soon you won’t even hear it anymore.

See Also: 5 Techniques for Increasing your Focus in 5 Minutes

Alright, I’ll tell you! Matt’s focus song is “Down Around You,” a guitar instrumental by Derek Webb.

That is my low-tempo choice, while my up-tempo is the album “Superpowers” by the Polish Ambassador.

What about you, what’s your focus song?

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Is Your Brain More Female or Male?

Every one of us has a masculine and a feminine side. Both of them are equally important. But do we really know how our brain is wired and which one is the dominant one?

Of course, in most cases the one corresponding to our gender is the one that defines us, but there are some cases where a perfect balance is attained, or one of the sides is completely missing.

brain_male_femaleTake just now this quick, fun and easy quiz and find out if your brain is more female or male!

Is Your Brain More Female or Male?

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Leave a comment below to tell us what you’ve got!

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6 Ways How Twentysomethings Can Start to Save

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Most retirement advice for young people boils down to this: Start saving, and do it right now.

Unfortunately, the urgency of that message gets lost on far too many youths, too caught up in the prime of their lives to worry about the future.

But with Social Security vanishing and automation primed to replace many jobs, retiring is going to get increasingly difficult for each generation. If millennials and the generations that follow want to live comfortably in their golden years, they need to embrace the importance of an early start.

It’s not just a matter of stashing cash. Follow these simple tips for a rundown on everything you need to know on how to start saving for retirement.

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Why Start in Your 20s?

retirement plan

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Even though people in their 20s are likely earning less right now, they’re still in the best possible position to start saving for retirement. Creating a solid nest egg is less about how much you can save; it’s when you start to save.

The power of time and compound interest is what gives twenty-somethings the advantage when it comes to saving for retirement. This is when interest is added onto a principal sum and then that new amount builds interest, leading to more significant growth over time.

For example, $50 put away every month for 45 years at age 20 at 7 percent interest compounded annually will yield $172,499.71. Even though you only physically saved $27,000 over those 45 years, you earned $145,500 in compound interest.

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See Also: How to Make Saving as Exciting as Spending

If you wait 10 years to start saving for retirement, you’ll have to contribute $103.50 monthly to receive the same sum at age 65. That’s more than double of what you had to save if you started earlier. You can do the math on compound interest using this calculator available from the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission.

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How Twenty-somethings Can Start Saving

retirement planning

Make it automatic. Make your contributions automatic, whether you choose to save for retirement through an employer-based program (like a 401k or 403b) or your own IRA. Set up automatic transfers from your paycheck or checking account into your retirement account to remove any temptation to spend that money.

Contribute enough to get an employer’s match. Many companies that offer workplace-related retirement programs also offer a matching program. For every dollar that you contribute to your retirement, they will put in a certain percentage. For example, if you put in 6 percent of your salary, they may add in 50 percent of that 6 percent for a total of 9 percent of your income going toward retirement.

Put all raises toward retirement. One way to increase how much you save is to put all salary raises into your retirement account. Every time you get a raise or promotion, you should increase how much you put toward retirement and not upgrade your lifestyle. This approach can also be used for windfalls, like tax returns and inheritance.

Aim to save 10-15 percent of your salary. Most experts recommend saving between 10-15 percent of your salary toward retirement in order to have a comparable lifestyle in your golden years. You may be willing to downsize in retirement, but starting in this range will give you a head start in case you hit an unexpected financial speed bump.

Start slow. It’s OK if you can only afford to save $50 a month right now. Remember, the power of compound interest will turn that $50 into a much greater figure later on. Don’t be so discouraged about your inability to put 10 percent of your salary away that you don’t save anything at all—a trap that far too many young people fall into.

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Open a Roth IRA or 401k. There are two types of retirement accounts you can open: Roth or traditional. If you open a traditional IRA or 401k, you’ll be able to claim contributions on your taxes, but will have to pay taxes when you take out the money later on. Those opening retirement accounts in their 20s are better off using Roth accounts. You won’t receive any tax benefits now, but you’ll be able to withdraw that money tax-free when you need it.

See Also: Are Men Or Women More Successful At Saving For Retirement?

Delay Social Security. It’s important to delay receiving Social Security benefits until age 70. You’ll receive an extra 8 percent in yearly benefits for every year beyond the full retirement age you wait to get Social Security. That’s free money you get just for waiting.

 

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10 Signs You’re Smarter Than You Think

How smart are you? Do you ever wonder? We all have special skills, talents, degrees in certain areas and expertise in loads of things, but are you smart? Too many of us don’t give ourselves enough credit when it comes to our intelligence. Some even go so far as to say they are dumb or not smart enough. It’s time we start telling ourselves we, in fact, are smart. Very smart.

There is no need to go on about how smart you aren’t or think you aren’t, we are going to go straight into the reasons why you are actually smarter than you think. Call it a wee bit of an ego boost too but not in a bad way. Here are 10 signs you are smarter than you think.
You hang with smart people. That makes you smart too. Know why? Because you have the sense enough to know not to hang around the losers. Hanging with the smart group, also shows that you are keen to learn all kinds of things. Good for you.

cyt accurate thinkingYou are always trying.

You keep plugging away at ideas, goals, new inventions or what have you. You never give up and you are always trying to give life to ideas. If something doesn’t work, you try something else. You don’t let failures set you back. You just keep at it.
In touch with the world. You stay in touch and in tune with current affairs. World news, neighbourhood news, community events. You like to be in the know all the time. You also like to stay on top of social media trends as this is where you get even more news. This way you can share what you are following.

You get the value of money.

You understand that you can still purchase quality items at a reduced price. You like to bargain shop without compromising quality of the product and you also know how to put aside for a rainy day. Many don’t. Kudos to you.

Give credit where credit is due.

Too often you won’t take the credit for a great idea or plan and pass it over to someone else. Fact of the matter is, you did it, and it was because of your smarts that this project came to fruition. Give yourself more credit my friend. You are smart.

Roll with it.

If something goes wrong, you don’t fly off the handle and get upset about it. You take the time to find out what went wrong, what did you miss and what can you do better next time. Is there someone maybe you need to call in for help on this one? You’ll find that person. Which brings us to the next point.

Call for help.

You know when it’s time to call in the reinforcements because nothing you are doing is helping the project. You understand that you can’t fix and do everything yourself and you aren’t so stubborn that you won’t call for help.

Watch and learn.

You have a thirst for knowledge. While watching someone do something you take mental or written notes to make sure that next time, you may be able to do this yourself. you are a sponge and love to learn all kinds of new things, even fun hobby like things like painting or scrapbooking.

You’re not fond of negativity or making enemies.

You like to stay positive and not upset the apple cart. You know enough to walk away from a situation if you know it is going to jeopardize your peace of mind or happiness. You have no time for that nonsense.

Drama free zone.

You don’t get caught up in gossip or silly small talk about meaningless stuff that doesn’t interest you. You want to talk about important, exciting and interesting stuff. Your brain is a sponge, right? You like to keep it filled with things that could quite possibly turn into something wonderful for you.

If you recognize yourself in one, any or all of these, you’re smarter than you think. Pat yourself on the back and hold your head up high. And start giving yourself more credit.

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8 Emotionally Destructive Relationship Behaviors To Watch Out For

From personal to professional, for relationships or partnerships to work, I’ve found that a natural flow of giving and receiving is essential to building trust and nurturing growth. There will be times in which one person may be counted upon to hold it all together for the both of you.  But isn’t that what a strong relationship does?  Support one another for the greater good of the other…and for THE greatest good overall?

In truth, a healthy relationship can be counted upon to help each other out during those moments of struggle. In a healthy relationship, you’ll find that overcoming challenge is possible and in fact, healthy relationships often DEEPEN and become STRONGER after getting through struggle together.  This is one of the most valuable take-aways, I’ve learned from Harvey Deutschendorf, Emotional Intelligence Expert.

unhealthy_behaviorLike anything else in life, having, holding and growing a relationship is an active and positive skill to nurture if you want it to be successful and long lasting.

Recognizing the signs of unhealthy behaviors in a relationship is important before they become your “norm”—eventually finding yourself drained and numb because of someone else’s poor relationship skills.

What to look for in unhealthy behaviors:

1. Quick to make assumptions

With little respect for you and your input, they’ve already concluded ideas about you and the situation.  Even worse, any time spent trying to convince them otherwise is exhausting and unproductive.  Your voice is of no matter to them and falling into the trap of attempting to convince them otherwise can quickly turn into heated arguments.

2. Find blame and excuses with ease

They’ll likely never own up to their part in any sticky situation, but they stand ready to point a finger at anyone and anything else and find fault with it. Finger pointing, blaming and excuses are natural to them and seems to roll off their tongue.

3. Lecture over conversation

Communication feels heavy when you have a chance to talk with them and you find that they’re unable to have a real and deep conversation WITH you.  In fact, it’s more like they’re talking AT you…telling you what they want and why it’s important (even vitally necessary) but rarely take you, nor your time, nor your own priorities into consideration.

4. Fear-based decisions

They tend to never trust anyone (including you, even if they never told you they don’t trust you).  So, any decision they make is made with certainty that they won’t have to leave their comfort zone, nor risk that their “true colors” of fear, insecurity or even reactive behavior is ever exposed.

5. Demeaning attitude

They find themselves having extreme difficulty celebrating anyone other than themselves.  They’ll even put someone else down only so they can appear greater themselves.

6. Manipulate and lie

They’ll lie and twist the truth solely to protect themselves and control any situation without a care for anyone else (least of all you—especially if you’ve proven to be one who won’t accept anything better for yourself).  Even worse, you may eventually find yourself second guessing yourself and your own memory of past experiences because they manipulate and lie so convincingly.

7. Social isolation

If they’re surrounded by healthy and authentic individuals who are comfortable in their own skin, they’ll feel frustrated and make any excuse to remove themselves from that environment (and quickly).  Instead of living, giving and sharing from a place of love and authenticity, they’ll feel suffocated by those who do and will find any reason to never have to socialize with them again (and they’ll do all they can to keep you away from them, too).

8.  Life is a flow of unnecessary drama

Your day-to-day is unsteady because you never know when they’ll bring up the drama (with you or with others).  There is an uneasy feeling when they’re in the room with you and you feel like you’re walking on eggshells fearing what to say or do next because you don’t know what will set them off.

Unhealthy relationships will take a toll on you and your personal health. You’ll constantly feel drained around the the people who practice unhealthy behaviors…and that drain can turn into serious health issues.  Pay attention to the signs and make the conscious choice of either accepting or rejecting the relationship with an open heart and mind before it fogs your mind and becomes your “norm.”  You deserve more and the moment you take a stand for what you want you’ll stop being such an easy target for their bad behavior.

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7 Ways to Get More Comfortable With Feeling Uncomfortable

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Our minds naturally hate change. Change makes us uncomfortable. Anything that involves risk or confrontation makes us tremble.

Despite the negativity, feeling uncomfortable is one of the signs of adaptation and growing. It may feel bad but, in reality, it’s  actually a good indicator. In order to keep it from making you feel inadequate and filled with doubt, here are some of the ways you can ease the discomfort it causes.

Find an Outlet

Write about what is making you uncomfortable

This is my favorite method and is perhaps the most useful out of these options. Writing about what is bothering you, even if you do not reach any sort of positive conclusion, is helpful. Writing helps to release tension, organize your thoughts, and expel negative emotions. Think of it as a massage for your mind.

Learn to love a certain form of exercise

It doesn’t have to be especially intense; it can just be walking. I would, however, recommend something more intense and competitive. Such sports and exercises can motivate you to push past your limits to become more comfortable in extreme situations.

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Just meditate

 

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meditate

This is a form of spiritual exercise that you shouldn’t miss. Meditating can give you an overabundance of benefits that can help you be more comfortable with any situation.

By learning to be in tune with your breath for a few minutes each day, you can decrease your anxiety and stress. It can also improve your concentration and overall brain function and make you more appreciative of those around you.

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All of these benefits make feelings of uneasiness easier to manage. They can help you not only in surviving through the discomfort but to thrive in it, too.

Celebrate small victories

When we make progress towards our goals, we are often consumed by overthinking. We take one step forwards and then two steps back. Because of this, progress is almost never fast or easy.

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However, despite how slow we feel, there are still signs of progress that can be seen on the outside. You may not be able to see the progress you have made, but others will surely notice them.

Stay connected with other

No one can be the best version of himself on his own.

You need to share your journey with people who support you and your journey. Connection with others can make each step towards your goals more fulfilling.

From your perspective, it is difficult to see how you have changed over the course of pursuing your goals. You may even see stagnancy. But for the eyes of the people around you, they can see your progress and it appears much more simple for them.

Purge yourself of excess habits and goals

Your mind is not built to learn several new habits at once. Although it’s conditioned to pursue several goals at a single time, having too many things to adapt to at once can discourage and tire you easily.

Before you decide to pursue a new goal or adopt a new habit, you should first get rid of the excess habits and goals taking your time and energy. Ridding yourself of these things can help ensure that your new habits can actually be adopted and sustained.

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Complete tasks you are good at

If you are feeling especially uneasy, one of the easiest ways to get back on track is to do something you’re good at. It’s a simple way to feel fulfilled and get back into a more positive mindset.

Pursuing a goal that makes you uncomfortable can be frustrating, so you need to mix challenging pursuits with fun and easy goals. This brings me to the last and possibly most important method to get more comfortable.

Have fun–for heaven’s sake. HAVE SOME FUN.

 

have fun

Completing goals goes against the very nature of having fun. It gives you so much pressure that you feel confined, stiff and uncomfortable.

Engaging in activities that give you fun won’t stop you from achieving your goal. In fact, it can get you back to your spontaneous and creative mindset. It can put you back in control of whatever it is you need to finish and be more comfortable in situations that would normally make you feel uncomfortable.

Joseph Pineiro
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Can You Pass The Perception Test?

Perception is the organization, identification, and interpretation of sensory information in order to represent and understand the environment, in other words, the way our brain make sense of the world. An ambiguous image can be perceived in many ways, and can trick our brain in believing things that are not there.

With experience, we can learn new kind of categorization and we can improve our it. Start your training right now with this test.

perceptionTake now this quick, fun, quiz and find out if you can pas the perception test!

Can You Pass The Perception Test?
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Leave a comment below to tell us what you’ve got!

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5 Hard Steps To Take When Your Friend Hurts You

Being with friends, whether best friends, close friends or casual friends, no matter how much fun it is, sometimes has its snags. Friendships like any other relationship can often be slightly tricky, depending on how close you are your friend are. And then there are those who we think are our friends and end up not being a friend at all. Those ones are hard to deal with. You think you made a new friend, you’ve trusted them with information that you thought for sure they would keep and the next thing you know, the whole neighbourhood knows. It’s tough to form friendships. They are similar to romantic relationships. You still need to have trust, respect, loyalty and all that other good stuff that goes with it.

So how do you deal when your friend has hurt you? Directly or indirectly. Hurt is hurt no matter what form it takes. You initially want to lash out, scream and cry and point fingers. You can if you want but it won’t be very effective. It’s not easy to deal with this kind of hurt, so I won’t tell you it is. Here are a few steps to take when your so called friend has hurt you.

friendFind out the reason.

Get to the bottom of the matter. Were they mad at you for something you did recently and they are lashing out or taking revenge? Was it something done out of plain ignorance? Why did they do what they did? Find out. Don’t let it go and chalk it up as a stupid act, get to the bottom of it.

Make a decision.

Does this person have a habit of doing this often or is this a one-time occurrence? If they do this often, hurt you, then perhaps it’s time to get rid of this so called friend. They are serving no good purpose in your life and obviously there is something about you and your friendship that brings out the worst in them.

Confront them.

They may or may not know what they did hurt you. Let them know you are hurt and talk it out with them. Too often, we just let incidents go left unattended meanwhile it boils our blood and builds inside of us. If this is a close friend, tell them you are hurt and tell them why. Maybe, just maybe, it might be a misunderstanding.

Dig deep.

Inside of you. Why did this matter hurt you? Is there something from your past, maybe, that you haven’t dealt with and still have unfinished business with? Perhaps what your friend did was simply a trigger from an incident from your youth or maybe an old relationship. Do some soul searching and see what you uncover before you fly off the handle on your friend.

Kiss and make up.

This is the hardest step, besides the making a decision step because there’s the whole trust thing. It’s easy to kiss and make up and say sorry it will never happen again and move on but can you move on? How hard or easy is it going to be to trust this person again? If this a first time offence, it might not be so hard, but if they have done it a couple of times, and you really do like this friend for various other great qualities they have, then trust might be a wee more difficult. If you want to continue this friendship, trust will have to be given.

It really is no fun when our own friends hurt us but it may be a sign that it’s time to reassess your friendship and see if it’s time to let it go. The hurt just may be a blessing in disguise, a lesson for you, and time to shake up the friendship tree.

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