If you’re familiar with getting cold feet, let me tell you something – that it’s ok if you’re introverted or extroverted because we all get the butterflies when it comes to saying things like “I love you”, or “sorry” first. The uncertainty of consequences, the overthinking of timing and word play and whether or not the feelings will be mutual are all things that make even the most outgoing of us stop before we speak, and for good reason. Sometimes revealing your love for someone can be a life changing situation for both parties; better make sure it’s the right time.

How can you know? Well, as I’ve said before there is no guide book for life, but there are principles we can follow to make sure we live the best life we can. Overcoming your fear of engagement is a great asset to have in your social and business life.

“ I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! ”

1. Remove fear from your vocabulary

Let’s start here, because the first step of being the first, is being fearless. We all have a history of uncomfortable situations – rejection, failures and bad days accumulate in our memory and dictate our behaviour to this day. It decides how we act when we are about to walk on eggshells. The best thing to do is to remember your victories and keep facing struggles head on. The more you overcome daily struggles with a smile, the more fearless you will become!

2. Have a positive attitude

That said, keep a smile on your face all day. If you’re negatively adverse to rejection and dismay, you need to put that smile back on and learn to recover ASAP! Keep a positive attitude and remember all the hurdles you’ve overcome. If you’re smiling, you’re positive, and if you’re positive, you’re unstoppable!

3. Being proactive

Once you’ve nailed those two, you’re on your way to being a more proactive person. Taking the first step to say I love you makes you a proactive, fearless person, ready to get what she deserves! You’re ready to get what you want, and you’re ready to show the world that too.

4. Accepting the consequences

If you can say it first, you’re embracing a critical part of maturity – that you are ready to accept the consequences of your decisions for good or for worse. Don’t feel like you’re behind, because there’s no right time to feel comfortable at this stage. We all mature at different degrees, and you can only do the best you can be, so make sure not to compare yourself with others – ever! Say it first, and deal with the aftermath like an adult.

5. Making peace with your feelings

Go beyond “shoulda, coulda, woulda”, by just doing it. If you feel a certain way about something, do something about it. If you have feelings for someone, let them know it. Don’t be shy – chances are, they are feeling the same way, and waiting for who is going to make the first move. So make peace with your feelings and pull the trigger. You’ll be happier you did it!

6. Finding conclusion

If something has been getting to you for over a day, then you’re certainly overthinking something. Get to the meat of it by saying it first. Once you’ve opened the doors, everything is out and the open. Sometimes the truth hurts, but if you’ve gotten past steps 1 and 2 already, then we are beyond that! Put your overthinking to rest by finding conclusion in your day to day like – all part of living proactively.

7. Relieve a tense situation with your strength

Even though we might all be a little shy when it comes to emotional situations, we’ve all had to make a move before. Keep doing it. Be proud that you can make the first move, not the other person. Although it might seem a little selfish to take pride in being more outgoing than someone else, take reprieve in the fact that you’ve helped someone else who was more shy to move first.

8. Spread the love

Once you’ve become comfortable with saying big things to people first, watch how the changes in your life unfold. You will be stronger in social situations, and without knowing it you will soon be attracting love and positivity in all aspect s of your social and business life. You will attract attention from others, and bind other people together with your engaging spirit. So go out, and say it: I love you! You’re not afraid anymore.

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Some of us can tell in a heartbeat if somebody is lying, some of us get all the signals wrong. Correctly reading people it’s a gift, but one that could be cultivated. Everybody has it, but not everybody develops it trough practice. And as we all know, practice makes perfect. Just pay more attention to the micro-expressions of those around you.

Have you seen the eyes of the person you are speaking to? Do they tell the same story as his/her mouth?

Take this fun quiz just now, to find out how good are you at reading people!

How Good Are You At Reading People?

 

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Leave a comment below to tell us how accurate this test was!

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There are people who have bad days, people who have bad moods, and some people that just have a bad attitude. We are all prone to having bad days, but our advantage is that we can put on a smile and face the day with a good spirit. Some of us out there are not so fortunate, and tend to carry the chip on their shoulder everywhere they have to go. You know the type; cranky people in the grocery store, people who have intolerable road rage, or your self-absorbed brother or sister who still needs to tell you what to do and how to do it. Thankfully, we have a clear head, and don’t need to proliferate the mood any more than it is already. How should we take care of all these negative people in our life? Here are some ideas.

1. Brush it off

Remember not to take things personally. There are billions of people out there, and not everyone is always in a good mood. The minute you think someone else’s mood should affect you or is a consequence of you, is the minute your day is going to start going downhill as well.

2. Think of the bigger picture

Someone might be taking it out on you in this particular moment, but in another one, they are a calm and collected person with a loving family. They have parents who love them, and maybe they are parents who are loved. Even though they are are having a bad time right now, don’t forget that in the grand scheme of things, they are valued members of the community just like you are.

3. Just a moment in time

A trendy word you might come across on the internet right now is Sonder ; a word that refers to the moment when you realize that all passersby also have a life as vivid and complex as your own. During every day you will see the rich, the poor, the young, old, positive and negative, and we should do our best to not find fault in people in the moment we are living together, for each of us are all living an abstractly complex and phenomenal moment.

4. Remain calm and carry on!

The worst thing you can do with negative people is absorb their energy and manifest it yourself. Remember to keep cool, find your balance and reflect the negative energy. If you lose your head and start getting impatient yourself, you are only magnifying the problem in the first place. Keep on being yourself; relax and let the energy go beyond your body. Use your calm and serenity to make the beast relax as well. Hopefully the person who is exuding negativity will soon come down to earth with you and you may even find yourself acting as the peacekeeper, bringing the situation from 100 to 0 and restoring balance to the moment.

5. Be extra positive

Although the person you are dealing with now may think you’re being facetious, the more positive energy you can bring to the situation, the better. If the worst thing you can do is absorb the bad vibes, then the best thing you could do is deliver good vibes. Even if you have to be out of your normal character, the enforced positivity you can conjure will balance out the strength of all the negative energy coming your way. It might seem silly to be so happy or what have you, but it’s the only way to counter a strong opposer.

6. Ignore the situation

Taken with a grain of salt, ignoring the negative per son and going away from it all may sometimes be the way out. Without someone for them to vent to, the person will have a bit more headspace to reconsider why they are in a bad mood at all. It may take a bit longer, but sooner or later they will probably come around and realize that they were overreacting in the first place, deduce why it happened, and be able to happily come to terms and reason with you. If this is your spouse, you might get a nice dinner date out of i t!

7. Be realistic

People who are negative are usually coming out of a place devoid of reason and moral structure, and need proper grounding in order to see the unnecessary exposure of bad energy. Take your time, respond calmly and collectively, and be realistic with the person. The energy you are using to relax the situation will bring all the tension down to reality again; there will be a hump to overcome when the upset individual will thin k it is silly that you are not reacting in a dramatic way as well. But if you stay the course, soon the person will run out of energy, and as they say, tears always lead to smiles.

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“This can’t be happening,” I said as I rifled through my hastily written directions.

I was in a new city, it was 1 a.m., and I was completely lost. I felt that old familiar blend of fear and shame wash over me as I sat there on the shoulder of the road. My economy rental car shook as the cars sped by, and I desperately searched for some kind of landmark in the dark.

I was supposed to be wrapping up an easy drive to the hotel where I would rest peacefully and wake fully recharged for a job interview in the morning. I was not supposed to be here.

This can NOT be happening.

This whole scene was probably only a few minutes long, but it felt like an eternity. I think I was convinced that I was, in fact, going to be there FOREVER.

I felt hot. I felt sick. I just wanted to go home.

Of course it didn’t last forever. I eventually found my way and made it to the hotel. I got some sleep and even got the job.

As I made my way back to the airport the next day, I felt a little sheepish about my moment of panic the night before, but then I got to thinking. If this wasn’t some kind of lesson about life, I don’t know what is.

The truth is that I’d been there before. Lost. Confused. Frustrated. I’d been there a lot lately. And (almost) every time, I’d get so locked on to what was supposed to happen that it was hard to find my way out to the other side.

Sometimes life just feels like that. You have your perfect plan, and you’ve done everything you were supposed to do. You’ve totally got this, you think.

Then there’s a detour and you think how did I get here and where do I go now?

Or maybe you get to your destination exactly as planned only to discover that it isn’t anything like the pictures. Again, you ask how did I even get here and where do I go now?

It isn’t always easy to pull over and regroup when that happens. Charting a new course can be disheartening if not a little scary, and it can feel like you’re all alone in it.

But you know what? We’re all in the same boat. Each of us will encounter roadblocks, delays, and wrong turns.

Whenever the going gets tough in your journey, picture your fellow travelers rooting for you and remember these 6 things:

1. There are many ways to get from A to B.

Whenever you need a reminder of this, just look at a map. There are countless ways to get from where you are now to where you want to be, each with something special to offer.

You may have to go a little out of your way, but you will eventually get there. Be open to change as you plan your route.

2. What you need to know probably isn’t on the shortcut.

Sometimes things take you a little longer than expected. It is tempting to try to speed through life to get to where you think you should be, but consider that maybe you already are exactly where you need to be.

Frantically rifling through your directions doesn’t get you there any faster, anyway (trust me on this one). It doesn’t help you appreciate the journey, either. Things are going to take as long as they need to take, so slow down and take in the scenery. Have trust in yourself as you make your way through life.

3. It’s okay if your destination is unknown.

Does anyone else feel obligated to have a 5- or 10-year plan? Talk about pressure. Having a direction is great, but even the best plans are only penciled in.

No one can predict exactly what lies ahead of them. Instead of worrying about this or trying to wipe it out, try embracing the uncertainty as an integral part of your unique journey.

4. Trying again is not the same as starting over.

View your failures, missteps, and missed turns as opportunities to get it right. You’ve learned what works, what fits, and what doesn’t.

If it doesn’t work out, you are allowed to try again. Even if it feels like you are back to the beginning, remember that you are never starting again from exactly the same place.

5. Remember where you have been.

When life’s journey becomes difficult, it can be powerful to remember where you have been. Look back at where you’ve been with the new perspective of the present.

Learn from your past by appreciating what you have seen and finding the lessons in what has already happened. Draw from your life experience to find strength for the challenges you face today.

6. Very few things are permanent.

When things are good, you wish they would stay forever.  When they’re painful, you wish they would just hurry up and end already.

Appreciate the good while it is here and give it permission to leave when the time is right. Know that it will return.  If your road is rocky, accept that at least for now this is where you are and do what you can to keep on going. Remember that you will not be here forever.

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Have you ever thought about having wings? In fact, you have, and you spread them every time you gather your courage to take a new path in life, or every time you defend somebody in need. They are magical and you should spread them more often. You should let others see them as well. You could be an inspiration.

But, what kind of wings have you pictured for yourself? The image you have created in your mind reveals a lot about how you see yourself, and the qualities you think you have.

Let’s find out how accurate this image is! Take this quick, fun quiz and find out what kind of wings you have!

What Kind of Wings Do You Have?

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Leave a comment below to let us know how accurate this was

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