As I’ve said before, there is no guidebook for life. We are gifted with parents and culture that can show us right and wrong, but after that we are left on our own. We have all been in a situation where everyday can feel like a struggle, and it’s not easy to know or fully understand the paths we should take; there are plenty of people who can aid and influence us to make the right decisions, but ultimately we are the only one’s who can pull the trigger. I wanted to give you a few tips for the next time you have to make some decisions – and remember, just breathe! It’s gonna be ok!

1. Everything is temporary

All day to day decisions come from a personal compound, an instinctive formula and pattern that allows you to survive to the best of your natural ability. We use this instinct to make impulsive decisions as well as one’s that affect our long term decisions making. As we go through the ebb and flow of life we have already learned that there is a bright side to everything, and that no matter what, we can come out on top. That’s because everything is temporary. I guarantee you, that whatever decisions you make today will certainly affect your life today, but in a few years from now it will just be something to laugh about. So go ahead, make a few mistakes – and laugh about it later.

2. Write down your pros and cons

This is so important. People think it’s adventurous and exciting to make split second decisions, hoping it will make them feel young and brave again – but then the regret sets in. We feel like we decided too quickly, and buyer’s remorse feels particularly profound when it’s something we can’t return, like a job change or relationship change. You need to spend more time seriously considering your options. Writing down your ideas gives you time away from outside affectors and lets you enjoy your brainstorming space, giving you a visual outlet for all the crazy synapses happening in your brain. You can have a viewable chart from which to make your decisions on. The problem is some people do this but leave this tactic aside for big, important decisions. Not necessary. Make it a better part of your routine, and you will find your day-to-day decision making improve, and enhance your whole life. Start writing today!

3. Make decisions from a happy place

If you are on the verge of a big or even a small decision, make sure you are in a good place to do so. Don’t make impulsive decisions from the seat of your car. It’s good to make instinctive decisions based on your intrinsic feelings, but sometimes we are moody or have good and bad days, which can affect our short term judgement. If you’re going to make a choice soon, make sure you are level headed. If you’re too excited, you might make an impulsive choice – if you’re upset, you might procrastinate until you’ve over-thought it to death. So go back to #2, have a nice warm drink, and clear your mind.

4. Ask for help

This is particularly difficult for some men to follow, but something I have been trying to be better at. We all think we know what’s best for us, but sometimes a little nudge from the side doesn’t help. We tend to be stubborn or withdrawn, hoping the solution will magically come to us in a dream. Not always so. Don’t be afraid to let down your guard and call up a friend or mentor who could help you. They may have thought of a perspective so completely different to yours that you would have never thought of it. In that case, good thing you asked! If your friend has a nouveau solution that really helps, you will thank yourself later for asking.

5. Be determined

If you’ve gone ahead with your choice, then hopefully that’s the end and there’s no regret needed. Strengthen your intuition by daily affirmations that your choice was the right one. You don’t need to overthink it, but you must stay the course now. Remove doubt from your mind and go with the flow. Remember, everything is temporary, and there is a fix for every situation if you went astray. But most importantly, you should always be proud of your choices. Best case scenario is everything works out; worst case, you’ve just learned something new to apply to yourself for the rest of your life – which helps you and everyone around you. So be strong!

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It’s no question these days that we are all hooked on Facebook. Whether you love it or hate it, it has become a prevalent part of our life as a messaging application, news source, and entertainment hub. People who complain about Facebook even go on Facebook to complain! What was once an American diet of 8 hours of TV per day has now transitioned into 8 hours of Facebook and Youtube per day. People are getting less done, and spending more time on the web. When was the last time you weren’t on Facebook in a 24 hour period? Let’s take a look at why taking a breaking might be a good thing!

1. Get outside the windows

We spend all day clicking and swiping, closing apps, opening apps, and browsing clickbait websites. For some people, the first thing you see before bed, and the first thing you see in the morning is a Facebook application. Turn it off, take a break, and let your eyes readjust to the beauty of the world.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others

As social creatures, humans love communication and, consequently, gossip. What place better to breed gossip than Facebook itself, where your newsfeed is constantly erupting with the private lives of everyone in your circle (or even out of it!). You can see who is having a good day, who’s buying new cars, how everyone’s kids are doing, so on and so forth. And it makes us start wondering, about our life, and how it stacks up. Are you posting about your achievements? About your day to day struggles? Yes? No? Who cares! Just forget about it. Comparing yourself to other people is deconstructive and doesn’t help anyone. Just be yourself, and love it.

3. Have more time for your hobbies

Perhaps you used to be a wonderful piano player, or a great wingman for your friends. These days, we’re getting older, lazier, and more content to just sit back and watch. Facebook is not helping us become more proactive! Take a break and limit your usage everyday to get back to what you really like, whether it’s knitting, croquette, or listen to some old records. Trust me, you will feel great!

4. Spend more time reading

I can’t argue that most of our activity on Facebook is indeed reading. However, it’s reading in short bursts – news clips, headlines, brief articles and captions. Take a step back and go pick up a book again. Sounds intimidating? Go for a magazine! Maybe even a subscription. Choose a topic that interests you, whether it be home decor or local fashion. You might find yourself involved in a magazine hobby soon enough that will have see you reading more and more. Read books outside of your general element. Learn about microeconomics, American politics, or the psychology of retail. Anything that will stimulate your mind to grow beyond the latest cat video on Facebook.

5. Play with new apps

You don’t have throw away the phone to resist Facebook. Instead of spending 30 minutes on Facebook in the morning, spend 10 minutes on Facebook and the other 20 minutes playing a new and intuitive app-game. You could be learning a second language, getting better at problem solving with puzzle games, or just getting to the next level of Candy Crush. Whatever makes you feel good. That way at least you are not spending the time getting more involved in gossip that does not concern you – and spending more time increasing your brain power.

6. Go out more

It’s strange to see someone at a coffee shop these days with out their head stuck in their phone. And it’s not helping our social life, either! Try to remember a time before the internet and social media age. When we went to coffee shops, we met our friends, and talked about interesting things together. Instead of editing selfies and posting about your coffee on instagram, try striking up a conversation with someone instead! You never know where your day will end up after that!

7. See a different perspective

There is nothing wrong with using Facebook as a news source, but one thing Facebook doesn’t do, is show us the opposition. Watching the news on Facebook will largely just show you things that you approve of, things you follow, and things that you find agreeable. Try subscribing to a real news source such as Flipboard, which will show you a wide range of global topics, and not just the ones you happen to Like on Facebook.

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Do you remember what it was like being a child? Seeing everything for the first time? I doubt many of you can remember that far back, me neither of course. But everyone does see children every now and then in their lives, maybe you even have some of your own. And when you do see a small child, it is impossible not to notice just how full of wonder they are about life. Everything, even the simplest of things are filled with questions of how and why. Life for them is a magical playground with unbelievable moments around each and every corner. It really is beautiful to see. They interact with everything in a much deeper way than we do as adults. It’s refreshing to pay attention to and it makes you realize that even though growing up made us wiser, it left us with a lot less wonder about life and the world we live in. We have replaced that wonder with the feeling of normality. We have seen trees, we have felt snowflakes, we know what rain is, we have seen animals, we have smelt flowers, we have walked on grass… we have experienced all of those so many times before, that they raise few or no questions at all. In fact we no longer even realize we are experiencing them.

A few days ago I watched a small child picking up a leaf from the street while his mom was talking to her friend. I saw the child looking at the leaf so full of wonder, so deep in thought. It made me smile and a spark of curiosity lit up inside of me as I watched him. From the bench I was sitting on, I also took a leaf and looked at it, just as the child had done. I held it in my hand, felt its texture and examined every part and detail up close for several seconds.

And as I inspected the leaf, I thought “isn’t this incredible? How is this real? How can this be? The structure, the feeling, the color?” I felt a sudden rush of amazement for the world, amazement that I am part of it all – all triggered by a simple leaf. I took a glance back to where the child and his mom had been. They had moved along, and were walking away from me, but I saw the child, still holding on to that leaf – and it made me smile all over again.

If we could trade our jaded – grown up eyes with those of a child, a simple leaf would spark enough interest, enough amazement and curiosity to make you feel glad to be alive. How incredible is that when you think about it? It’s a shame we have lost that kind of curiosity over the years, and with it the profound wonder about those small things in life. However it doesn’t take more than a small adjustment to our own eyes to make us see in that way all over again. Take a walk outside after reading this, and take notice of everything you witness around you. The wind blowing through the trees; the warmth of the sun on your skin; how the raindrops feel, falling all that way to earth and landing on you; the people, the smell of the air, your movements, a passing leaf… But this time, look at it all as if you are seeing and experiencing it for the first time in your life – and ask questions. Look at the wind, feel the sun and the raindrops, look at the people, smell the air and pick up that leaf and ask yourself how is it all possible. Because children see and experience everything for the first time, they pay so much more attention to it and therefore they connect with it at a much deeper level. They experience living so much more intensely than we do. Yet, the only thing they do differently is that they witness everything as if it is something new, something unique. And everything they see raises a hundred questions: why is that like it is? how does that work?

If we make that adjustment to our own eyes, and do the same – look at everything as new, as unique – life will become so much more interesting and richer. And by pretending you have never seen this all before, you’ll actually come to see things you never have seen before.

Now, if you beg my pardon, I’m going to get my jacket, and I hope to have you join me.

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When was the last time you took a moment out of your day to pray? The verb “to pray” no doubt affects different people in much different ways. To the strongly religious, it is a particularly important part of life, and is not to be taken lightly. To the casual believers, it was a part of our childhood but something we grew out of, something left for older people to do. And for the non – denominational, it sounds like an old wives tale or a waste of time.

Regardless of what religious category you fall in, we can happily say that prayer can be used largely in a non-denominational sense, and everyone can do it. Pray, and don’t be ashamed. Praying does not have to be a byproduct of religious beliefs or organization – it is a personal journey of health and prosperity.

1. Meditation

I like to look at prayer not as a petition to a higher body, but as a chance to meditate. Using the same principles of meditation, use your inner voice to take a few minutes and restore calm to your being. Perhaps you are under unusual amounts of stress, from family, work or otherwise. You owe it to yourself to close your eyes a moment and listen to your voice inside.

2. Learn from your ideas

Once you have come into a state of prayer, you have an opportunity to listen to your thoughts without the pressures of external influence. The need to pray does not have to come from a negative source, it can be an expression of optimism as well. Use prayer time as a way to channel positive energy and listen to and grow new ideas and concepts.

3. Change your routine

Meditation and prayer allows us to have some time alone – something valuable that a lot of us might not be able to get otherwise, especially if you are busy with work, kids, family, and other responsibilities. Allotting some time to prayer each day will give you an excuse to turn off the phone and relax in your room or sanctioned area and just close your eyes and think. It’s a healthy routine that so few of us actually put to practice.

4. Rediscover God

Most of us are from a religious family; perhaps our families were immigrants or from an older generation when religion was a staple of household culture. Although our values may have changed through time and the pace of socialism in our modern culture, there is a certain nostalgia to recollecting parts of our childhood – and there is no shame in reconsidering our opinion on the religious backdrops of our youth. Thinking about God and the omnipresence of of a deity gives billions of people even today hope for the future. Religion is ever present in the world, in all different forms. Without subscribing to any particular beliefs, it is a comforting idea to be able to construct your own opinion of God in the leisure of your home, at your own pace, without any organizing institutions. Just you, God, and your thoughts.

5. Count your blessings

There’s no better time than in a moment of meditation to give back to the universe what it has given you. Now you have a chance to reflect on all the things you are grateful for, which is a great way to get yourself out of any dark place. Say thanks for all the wonderful things in your life and all the great memories you are lucky enough to have. When was the last time you considered how lucky you were to be able to take that Caribbean island vacation a few years ago, or for that new smartphone you managed to get yourself? Use your newly allotted prayer time to examine the things in your life you are most fortunate about. Write them down; come back to them. It’s worth it. You’re worth it.

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Are you striving for happiness when just being happier is good enough?

I don’t know anyone who is happy all the time. Well, maybe the Dalai Lama, but aside from him, happiness eludes even the most cheerful of us from time-to-time. So, I don’t think your initial aim should be to achieve utter happiness. I would recommend that you aim at a target that’s easier to hit.

I think when our goal is not happiness but being happier, it’s more achievable. Also, it gives us something on which we can focus and measure on a daily basis. Being happier is easier to quantify than happiness.

Being happier is a moment-by-moment decision. It’s easier to answer the question “what can I do to make myself happier right now” than it is to answer the question “how can I achieve happiness.”

Being Happier In The Moment

Here’s what I know about happiness from a personal perspective. I believe that you – not outside influences – control your level of happiness. I’m not ecstatic every single day, but I experience some happiness daily. I became happier when I stopped striving for the life goal of happiness, and just began enjoying a few moments during the day that would make me happier right then.

Now to practice being happier, you must first have the proper foundation. You’re probably thinking, “oh, boy, there you go Harry. A foundation sounds like hard work!”

Settle down there nitro. The foundation isn’t hard and it is based in scientific fact: it’s harder to be happier if you don’t get enough sleep, you don’t move enough, or you let yourself get hungry. In essence, being happier is found at the intersection of a sound mind and body.

Let’s take a look at the science behind these.

First, sleep.

It turns out that lack of sleep makes you more susceptible to negative emotions. According to the British Psychological Society, people who stay awake throughout the day become progressively more sensitive to negative emotions. In contrast, those who take an afternoon nap are desensitized to negative emotions yet more responsive to positive ones. The new finding builds on past research by showing that not only does sleep deprivation cause emotional problems, a sleep boost can bring emotional advantages.

So, even if you don’t get enough sleep at night, a quick nap can turn your day around.

Next, exercise.

Although I do recommend that everyone practice yoga and exercise with kettlebells, I’m not saying you have to do either to get enough movement in your day to affect you level of happiness. What if I told you that there is a research-based program that takes just seven minutes to complete? It requires only your own body weight and items you have around the house. The exercises include jumping jacks, wall sits, push-ups, ab crunches, step-ups onto chair, squats, tricep dips on chair, planks, high knees running in place, lunges, push-ups with rotation, and side planks.  According to an article in Lifehacker, the exercises should be performed in rapid succession, allowing 30 seconds for each (with a 10 second rest between exercises), while, throughout, the intensity hovers at an 8 on a discomfort scale of 1 to 10, (director of exercise physiology at the Human Performance Institute Mr. Chris Jordan says. Those seven minutes should be, in a word, unpleasant. The upside is, after seven minutes, you’re done.

Not ready yet for an intense seven-minute interval workout? Just get outside and walk for 10 minutes. A study indicates that just being outside makes people happier.

Hungry?

Then, you’re probably not happy at the moment. Science tells us that we should eat every four hours or so. In our hectic, fast-paced world, we don’t always hit that mark, and if we do we are often eating the wrong things.

Sugary, starchy foods may comfort us momentarily, but the elevated mood quickly passes, leaving us feeling cranky and irritable. In acute cases, we produce too much of a hormone called ghrelin — known as the hunger hormone — that may be a key to post-traumatic stress disorder and other stress-related mental illnesses.

What can we do to inhibit the hunger hormone? An apple a day helps keep the ghrelin away, as does wheat bran, rice bran, and green tea.

OK, now get that healthier foundation in place, so you can begin to build a happier life.

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