What is Your Dominant Character Trait?

We all have certain character traits which can help to define who we are as a person.

There have many theories put forward in Psychology about character and one such one is the Big Five:

A summary of the factors of the Big Five and their constituent traits, such that they form the acronym OCEAN:

• Openness to experience: (inventive/curious vs. consistent/cautious). Appreciation for art, emotion, adventure, unusual ideas, curiosity, and variety of experience. Openness reflects the degree of intellectual curiosity, creativity and a preference for novelty and variety a person has. It is also described as the extent to which a person is imaginative or independent, and depicts a personal preference for a variety of activities over a strict routine. Some disagreement remains about how to interpret the openness factor, which is sometimes called “intellect” rather than openness to experience.
• Conscientiousness: (efficient/organized vs. easy-going/careless). A tendency to be organized and dependable, show self-discipline, act dutifully, aim for achievement, and prefer planned rather than spontaneous behavior.
• Extraversion: (outgoing/energetic vs. solitary/reserved). Energy, positive emotions, surgency, assertiveness, sociability and the tendency to seek stimulation in the company of others, and talkativeness.
• Agreeableness: (friendly/compassionate vs. analytical/detached). A tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic towards others. It is also a measure of one’s trusting and helpful nature, and whether a person is generally well tempered or not.
• Neuroticism: (sensitive/nervous vs. secure/confident). The tendency to experience unpleasant emotions easily, such as anger, anxiety, depression, and vulnerability. Neuroticism also refers to the degree of emotional stability and impulse control and is sometimes referred to by its low pole, “emotional stability”.

The Big Five Model was defined by several independent sets of researchers. These researchers began by studying known personality traits and then factor-analyzing hundreds of measures of these traits (in self-report and questionnaire data, peer ratings, and objective measures from experimental settings) in order to find the underlying factors of personality. The Big five personality traits was the model to comprehend the relationship between personality and academic behaviors. (Source Wikipedia)

Find Out Your Dominant Character Trait

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Ok, you will notice that I wrote awesome dad and not responsible father. There are already plenty of those articles and frankly, I’m no child psychologist.

No, I’m simply a son of a father and a dad of three kids. With a few first hand tips on what I have observed over the years. And if your kids are happy the chances are, that they will think you’re an awesome dad.

So below are my 5 tips for being an awesome dad.

1. Talk to your kids – not at them 

Believe it or not but they may actually be smarter than you think. A great tip here is seeking their opinion on something, and getting them to explain why, before you tell what you think.

It will teach them to consider their own opinion more and justify it to another. It may even give you another perspective on the matter.

2. Remove fear – with an open door policy

If your child fears you then they are much more likely to withhold information or lie. If you don’t know the truth of a situation about your child how are you supposed to guide them for the future?

It’s one thing to say to your child “You know you can tell me anything right?” and it’s another to mean it. You may feel it’s sincere however ever once the trust is broken by one angry retort it can take many years to rebuild.

For added assurance make sure there is another adult that they can go to for guidance when they are simply embarrassed or afraid to come to you.

3. Consider carefully when you say ‘not now’

We have all heard the song “Cats in the cradle” by Cat Stevens where he paints a picture of how fleeting our time is with our children. This sentiment is often echoed by anyone with teenage children as they seen a young family.

At some stage in their development, as much as they may love you, they will prefer the company of their hobby’s, friends, boyfriends or girlfriends. Consider this every time you say “not now” as it may really mean “not ever”.

Grab them now and spend all the time with them that you can. You will miss it greatly when it’s gone.

4. Find a safe conversational landing ground

I speak to my father usually at least 3-4 times per week. If we had no common ground then these calls would be very short indeed.

They would probably go something along the lines of “How are you?” he would say. “Great, How are you?” I would say. “Great” insert awkward silence.

We do however both love the same football team and have similar jobs so we have a rich fertile grounding for our conversations. We talk about the players, their injuries, upcoming games and while it might not be deep emotional conversation we are spending quality time together which makes my day every time.

I try to understand my kids passions so that I can talk to them in the same way.

5. Make them feel important 

If your child does not have a say in their life then how will the grow to become a responsible adult? Let them be involved in some of the decisions for the family.

Also find opportunities to trust them to do things by themselves even if they will need to be cleaned up by you later.

Even the smallest contribution from a child can have a big impact.

These 5 tips are just the start.

Help us compile a full list of awesome dad tips by commenting below with your suggestion or any feedback you may have to ours.

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Today we have a another great little personality quiz to find out what is your dominant emotion that rules your life.

Share your results in the facebook comments below and tell us how accurate, or inaccurate it is.

 

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We all know that IQ is not the be all and end all to gauge how intelligent we are.  In fact I believe that there are many types of intelligence: emotional, social, intellectual, intrapersonal, and many more.

Emotional intelligence, popularized by Daniel Goleman  refers to the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while others claim it is an inborn characteristic.

Since 1990, Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer have been the leading researchers on emotional intelligence. In their influential article “Emotional Intelligence,” they defined emotional intelligence as, “the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions” (1990). (source Psychology.about.com)

Today we have a quick quiz to determine just how emotionally intelligent you are

What is Your Emotional IQ?

 

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What colour is your aura?

All living things that need oxygen to survive have an aura. They generate a large magnetic energy field that can be sensed, felt and even seen around the physical body. We all can tell when someone doesn’t feel good to us, like they are full of anger or if they really live in their heart and feel deeply. You do not need to be psychic to feel/read an aura.

If a person walks past, very close to you, they may unintentionally steal some of your energy. If someone suddenly reaches out and grabs your arm, they are interrupting the flow of energy around your body. An example of this might be a time when you were talking to someone and you thought they were standing to close to you. You may have even thought to yourself, “They’re in my space,” and then you backed away. Even this slight intrusion into your aura or ‘space’ can interrupt your personal flow of energy and you may feel like you have been slimed. (source ind5.com)

Today we have another quiz to help you find out the colour of your aura.

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Colours are a natural part of our life and we rarely give them much thought, or do we?

When you are getting ready to go to work you will choose your clothes based on style and colour, it gives an insight into who you are.  For example if you wear bright colours: yellow, red, orange, and pink, it might suggest you have an outgoing personality and don’t mind being in the spotlight, alternatively it might suggest you need more attention than you are currently getting.  if you wear dark colours: black, dark brown or dark grey it could suggest you want to keep yourself to yourself and just blend in to take the limelight away from you, and it might suggest you’re a slightly pessimistic person.

When you choose a car to drive you will most likely choose a colour that suits your personality as well.  Your home furnishings will be based on colour, even the food that you buy could be unconsciously influenced by the colour of the brand

Anyway, I digress, I love the topic of the psychology of colours and find it fascinating.  Today I just wanted to give you another quick quiz called What is the Colour of Your Soul, this is a great little quiz and as always this is just for fun

What Colour Is Your Soul?

 

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Whether we like it or not we are influenced by others every single day, and it can be hard to stop being influenced.  Our thoughts, our beliefs and our actions are sometimes led by others and unless we consciously think about it, we are likely to be influenced all of our lives.

Here’s a few things to think about.

9 Things to Stop Letting Others Do To You

1. Stop taking on other peoples negative energy

This is one of the easiest things to do but once you catch yourself getting sucked into that negative energy, just remove yourself from the situation.  Avoiding people who constantly have negative energy is a good strategy, unless obviously it’s a friend who’s going through some tough times.

2. Stop getting sucked into gossip

Gossip is one of the worst things to get sucked into, and again it’s easy to do.  Once you make a conscious effort to stop getting sucked into the gossip arena, then you’ll see the difference it makes in your work and personal life.

3. Stop letting others make you doubt your beliefs

You deserve to have your own beliefs and you deserve to have respect for the beliefs you have so please don’t let anyone try and change your beliefs unless you’re openly looking for answers on certain subjects.  But if you have a firmly held belief about something, defend it as it’s yours to own, but also be open minded enough to listen to other peoples beliefs.

4. Stop letting people tell you what’s possible

Honestly, anything is possible, literally anything within the realms of the physical laws of the world.  You can do anything you want to and if you have a dram, a goal, a yearning to do something don’t let other people put the idea down.

5. Stop letting people dump their stuff on you

A lot of people become dumping grounds for peoples problems without giving anything in return.  We all know people like this, they’re great at giving you their problems, but are never around to listen to yours. Dump the dumpers and see the difference it makes in your life.

6. Stop letting people take control

YOU are the only person who controls you: your mind, your body, your spirit.  Never let anyone control any aspect of you.  When you realise it’s happening then it’s time to stand up for yourself.

7. Stop letting others opinions dictate your personality

An opinion is another person’s thoughts based on their beliefs and thoughts, so why the hell should you worry about what other people’s opinions are of you, the clothes you wear, the things you do, the people you see.  You are totally unique and you should always remember that.

8. Stop trying to please others if it makes you unhappy

We all do things to please others, and it feels good to do it, but when it starts to take over you and you’re constantly looking for ways to please someone and it makes you feel bad, then it’s time to take stock and ask why you are doing it.

9. Stop letting people take your power

Your inner power is the life that drives you forward in life and letting others control any aspect of that should be looked at immediately.  It might not be easy, but you have no one else to blame but yourself if you give your power away when you are aware of it.  Sometimes we are manipulated into doing things, but once you become aware of this manipulation, then drop that person from your life.

You are so brilliantly, amazingly awesome and you deserve to know that.  Stand up, be proud and drop the the leeches that exist in your life.

 

 

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You’re driving in a new city (perhaps going over to a friend’s place for the first time). The roads are not familiar to you. You have a destination to reach but aren’t sure how to actually get there.

Using trial-error approach, you try to figure out which road is going to take you to the destination. Now unless you’re really lucky, it may take you hours (or even days) to figure out how to reach your friend.

Now consider using a GPS system installed in your car. You set the destination and it quickly plots out the shortest path to destination. No need to worry about being in an unfamiliar place. The GPS will guide you. Turn left here. Go straight there. Turn right there etc.

The fact that you’re reading this post proves that you’re a fairly smart person who has dreams and wants to make them come true. Perhaps you’re a regular reader of blogs like this one and are constantly looking to grow and improve.

You understand a lot about growth and development and can surely talk intelligently about it; however the rate of your own growth is average at best. Somehow the ideas are failing to convert into tangible results. And you’re looking for the answer to this question. What is missing?

You are missing the GPS that’ll guide you.

WHY THE COMMON WAY IS NOT THE BEST WAY FOR YOU?

If you browse through various self help blogs, you’ll find that most posts are based on defining the tips, tricks and steps needed to achieve a certain goal. 5 ways to do this, 7 tips to achieve that, 9 things to avoid…. the topics are endless.
While there is nothing wrong about these ideas and most of them make good sense, they are not enough to “skyrocket” your growth. Most of the advice gives you a whole list of possible options. But how do you use them effectively? How do you find the option that is best suited for you personally, from a post that is intended to help an audience as a whole?

BUILDING A FOUNDATION

In order to pursue focussed growth, give up the idea of using the exact tips and tricks as they are presented.
Instead, you can build a “foundation”. The foundation helps you to decide what will serve you best personally. You still use the principles you learn from the books and blogs but now you can use them in a focussed way to create the best results for you.
The foundation acts like a GPS that helps you to find the fastest route to your destination. There are other roads. They shall take you to different destinations in the future. But for now, you’re concerned with meeting your friend.
But before we formulate our own foundation, let’s take a look at some real life examples to get an idea of what the foundation will look like.

HOW TRUE GROWTH ACTUALLY TAKES PLACE?

These real life stories put things in proper perspective.

The creator of this website, Steven Aitchison has an interesting story. At the early stages of his life, Steven had serious doubts about his identity and role in life. He even considered committing suicide at the age of 19/20 (just read the “About” page). But the book “Think and Grow Rich” helped Steven to make a profound realization of the “power of thoughts”. Creating an amazing life is a choice was an amazing discovery. Steven went on to earn a Bsc in Psychology, become an addiction worker and create this amazing platform “Change Your Thoughts”.

You are probably familiar with Steve Pavlina. Steve got into the destructive habit of shoplifting while in college, getting caught multiple times. A couple of days in jail cell sent Steve thinking seriously about redefining his life. The experience was enough to make Steve commit to become the best human being he was capable of becoming. With a new sense of purpose, Steve re-enrolled for college (he got expelled from his previous college), taking triple than normal course load and graduated with two degrees in just three semesters. Time management became top priority. After college, he went on to run a successful games business for ten years creating the award winning game Dweep. Later he gave up games business and launched StevePavlina.com that went to become a pioneer of personal development.

The third story is my own, because there is no better way to learn than from our own experiences. At the age of 16, I came across a book that totally contradicted the path I would have taken automatically in life. Growing up in a middle class family, the model of living the ideal life was to get good grades in school, get admission in a good college, find a job, settle down, don’t create waves, don’t ask too many question, be happy in the little you have. However, “The Magic of Thinking Big” by David J Schwartz made a strong point about thinking big in life and how it can help you to live your dreams. I did not blindly believe in the book but it did invoke a strong curiosity.  I remember thinking to myself, if what this book says is true, I don’t have to settle for mediocrity in life. I can create a beautiful and amazing life. Fast forward seven years, I feel grateful for having read the book and constantly strive to improve and seek to create a life of meaning, abundance and freedom. I launched my personal growth blog about a year back (I am re-launching it now).

If you observe the details of the stories above, you can conclude the following –

A conscious choice was made in the moment of profound realization.

Steve Pavlina realized that he needed to redefine his life and chose to create a better life. Steven Aitchison realized the power of thought and chose to center his growth around this idea of self reliance. I chose to break social pattern of mediocrity with the help of empowering big thoughts.

The growth that followed from the moment of realization was based on a certain “theme”.

Steve Pavlina began to focus extensively on time management to maximize his growth. Steven Aitchison growth was centered the power of thoughts, actions and beliefs. I focussed exclusively on thinking big to expand my options for a better future life.
To stress the importance of conscious choice, realize that many people end up in jail, many people read books on creative ideas, and yet these same events triggered a turning point in Steve Pavlina and Steven Aitchison’s life. See the role of conscious choice? They chose to make things different….

The “theme” helps you to create focussed results. It helps you to clearly define which are the habits, tips and ideas that will directly help you to grow, and which ones won’t. It is the GPS in your journey of life.

It would have been highly unlikely for Steve Pavlina to explore spirituality while working hard on his time management. At that moment, graduating with two degrees in three semesters was the goal. Nothing else mattered. Time was of primary value. Not spirituality, not simplicity. Only productivity.

FOUNDATION = FOCUSSED THEME FOR GROWTH

There can be many more themes that can be used to centre your growth around. Here are a few common ones that are very intuitive to understand and use.

Courage/Fear
You need this theme when you have unrealized dreams but hesitate to go after them in the fear of disrupting what you already have.

Habits
You need this one when you’re disorganized and seriously wish to put your life in order. You want get rid of disempowering habits.

Personal Excellence
This one helps you to improve the overall quality of life and not just in a few specific areas.

Simplicity
You need this if you feel that your life is cluttered with lots of unnecessary things and activities. You strive to get rid of the unessential to create some space and peace.

Freedom
You wish to create the freedom of creating the kind of life you want. This includes career choices, financial stability, travelling etc.

Finance
Money has its own role to play in life and you want to ensure you create plenty for a smooth living.
The list is not exhaustive so feel free to come up with your own themes. The idea is to simply find an area for focussed development.

USING THE FOUNDATION
Once you define your foundational theme, you can begin to find what actions will help you achieve your goals.

The foundational theme acts like the GPS. The GPS plots the shortest path and helps you to decide which roads to take and which ones to avoid. Similarly, your foundational theme acts as a guidance system to help you realize the actions that will help you to accomplish your goals.

Over time, you can move from one foundational theme to another, but at any given moment of time, the fewer themes you use, the better it will be. Overall you may want to develop in various areas of your life like career, habits, beliefs (different themes) but you want to focus on them one at a time (for example, You may want to focus on increasing your work productivity this year).

IMPLEMENTING FOCUSSED GROWTH

What you’ve read and understood so far will be of no value unless you can implement it in your daily life. So here’s a simple action plan to help you effectively implement the above ideas. All you need is a pen and paper. Get it right now. Why wait to improve your life?

Answer these two questions –

Which area of your life needs most attention right now OR which area of your life do you want to improve the most?

Whatever area pops up in your head is going to be the “foundational theme” for your growth. Use your intuition and simply pick one area. If you are having trouble in choosing from the many possible options, just pick any. The order in which you grow in different areas of your life won’t matter. What really matters is that you grow.

If you’re someone who has always been shy, you can choose “confidence” as your theme. If you feel fear in chasing your dream, perhaps you need “courage”. If you feel overwhelmed by the way you normally spend your day, then “simplicity” needs to be cultivated.

What people and resources will help you to achieve growth in your foundational theme?

If you’re reading this post, then this question should be easy to answer (assuming you read such self help blogs regularly). What you need is a few books, development blogs, audio podcasts that guide you to grow in the field of your chosen theme. Look for the ideas and advice that are directly related to your selected theme to implement them.

ONE WEEK PLAN
You should look forward to implement any one of the following ideas for a week.

Read one book on your theme and implement its ideas. OR

Find the top three blog posts that are directly related to your theme and implement their ideas. OR

Listen to an audio podcast and follow the lessons mentioned there.

Will focussed actions for a week be enough for you to succeed?

Probably not. Any worthy goal takes time. But a start is better than no start and a good start can take you pretty far.

THERE IS MORE TO THE PICTURE THAN YOU REALIZE

Why should you grow?

Life has a natural tendency to strive for a higher ideal. Take a look at how plants grow. As the seed ruptures and a small plant emerges, it grows towards the direction of sunlight. It wants to grow and live. It should therefore, be of no surprise to you that you yourself have dreams and want them to come true.

You affect everybody

It may not be obvious but how you live your life directly affects the whole planet (I am not exaggerating).

GO FOR IT

If I were to summarize this whole post, it will be just two words.

Focussed growth…

Next time you go through a self-help blog, don’t just read through all the advice. Don’t just aim for the feel-good factor. Hold an attitude of intentional learning. You’re looking to grow in a specific field and you want to find out valuable insights that will help you to achieve your goal.

Answer the above two questions. Go mad chasing your dream this week. And then report back in the comment section to inspire others as well.

Grow Conscious.

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In Sanātana/Hindu and tantric/yogic traditions and other belief systems, chakras are energy points or nodes in the subtle body. Chakras are part of the subtle body, not the physical body, and as such are the meeting points of the subtle (non-physical) energy channels called nadiis. Nadiis are channels in the subtle body through which the life force (prana) (non-physical) or vital energy (non-physical) moves. Various scriptural texts and teachings present a different number of chakras. There are many chakras in the subtle human body according to the tantric texts, but there are seven chakras that are considered to be the most important ones.

Their name derives from the Sanskrit word for “wheel” or “turning”, but in the yogic context a better translation of the word is ‘vortex or whirlpool’.

The concept of chakra features in tantric and yogic traditions of Hinduism and Buddhism.

Take the Chakra Personality test below

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Everyone wants to feel happy and free, but sometimes we don’t realize that the things we’re doing are responsible for our disappointment.

There are 7 things you must stop doing from now on, so you can start living your best life ever…

1) Stop Resisting.

We all encounter problems and bad days, but it is how we respond to our current situation that really matters.

Perhaps a trusted friend has betrayed you, a loved one has passed away, or your business has experienced a great loss.

In any of these situations, you could either accept the situation and move on – or you could resist it and deny the fact that it’s really happening to you.

The moment you resist, you suffer a great deal of stress and lose your inner sense of peace because you’re “fighting” against something beyond your control. And you’ll never win!

What you should do is “adjust” yourself to your current condition and learn the lessons from the experience (if any).

Do what you can to solve or reduce the problem. But if there’s nothing else you could do, just go with the flow and live to fight another day.

2) Stop Dwelling In The Past And Future.

Don’t get so caught up with an incident from your past, nor be so concerned with what the future holds for you, that it “steals” the present moment from you.

Yes, learn from the lessons of the past. And yes, prepare and set goals for your future.

But live in the present moment and make the most of it!

If you’re talking to someone, talk to him like he’s the most valuable person in the world at that moment. If you’re playing with your kids, live their childhood and be “one” of them. Do stuff like they’re the most important things to accomplish at that time.

Fully immerse yourself and focus at what you’re doing in the present, and your life will become so much better every single day!

3) Stop Letting Others Tell You What To Do.

Your parents, relatives and friends may have the best intentions; but they will never know what truly makes you feel happy and fulfilled.

So if they said you should do or become something “for your own good” or because they only want “what’s best for you”, thank them for caring so much about you… but listen to your heart and do what it says. Only then will your life be filled with meaning and purpose.

4) Stop Getting More Stuff.

Simplify your life. You only need to keep 2 types of things – those that you need and those that grow in value. Give away the rest of your stuff.

Don’t keep on accumulating (or worse, buying) things for the sake of using them “some day.” That “some day” may never come.

The less things you have to manage, the more in control you’ll feel and the less stressed you’ll be.

5) Stop Persisting (If It’s Not Working).

Many quotes acknowledge the power of persistence, but it’s not applicable in all cases. Why?

Because never giving up on something that doesn’t work is simply stupid! If you keep on doing the same thing, you will always get the same result.

So if it’s not working, stop doing it and think of another way. If it fails again, then try something else. Don’t stop changing and improving until you eventually get the result you’re looking for! Now that is true persistence.

6) Stop Whining.

Complaining will only bring more of what you’re whining about into your life. So stop complaining and start looking for the positive side in everything.

Even a negative event can be beneficial – you’ll learn valuable lessons from the experience and become stronger in character.

Appreciate every blessing (even the most minor ones you could think of) – the sunshine, the air you breathe, the food you eat, the people you love, etc.

Practice gratitude at every moment and you’ll soon find complaining a thing of the past.

7) Stop Wasting Time.

You can judge the quality of a person’s life by the way he spends his time. Every second of your life is important, so use it wisely.

Read books and/or listen to audios for at least 30 minutes a day, on any topic of your choice, and you’d become an expert on that field in just a few years!

Do you often find yourself lining up in long queues? Use that time wisely by reading! If you feel uncomfortable doing it, download an e-book or audio on your mobile phone and read/listen while waiting.

Do you spend hours driving? Bring some audio CDs before you hit the road and listen while you drive. Transform your car into a learning machine!

Other meaningful ways to use your time include:
– Pursuing your passion
– Spending quality time and developing relationships with people
– Making a contribution to society
– Exploring different places, cultures, food, experiences, etc.
– Any other activities that you’d cherish and never regret doing when you’re on your deathbed

On the other hand, you should avoid doing (or limit your time on) these things:
– Watching TV
– Gossiping or talking about other people’s lives
– Playing video games
– Browsing Facebook for hours
– Any other things that you’d regret doing when you’re on your deathbed

If you’re currently feeling unhappy, unfulfilled, or even depressed… go through the 7 items above and see if any of them is causing it. I sincerely believe that anyone who stops doing these 7 things will begin to experience massive positive changes in their lives.

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