What is Your Celtic Tree Sign?

Celtic Astrology was created by the Druids sometime around 1000BC. The Druid religion was based on 3 basic strands of belief: the first was to remember their ancestors and the past; the second was to have an understanding of nature so that they could work with it, not against it; and the third was to explore the connection of everyday reality with that of the spiritual realm.

In Celtic astrology, the zodiac is based on the trees that the Druids held sacred. It was believed that the trees themselves expressed personal characteristics that could then be associated with particular months of the year. This was done by connecting the tree to a lunar month through the use of the consonants in the Celtic alphabet. 13 of the consonants form the calendar of seasonal magic, and the 5 vowels represent complementary seasonal stations.

Unlike the Greco-Roman zodiac, the Celtic calendar has 13 astrological signs based on lunar months. Each month contains 28 days, except the last one which only has 24. However, the Celtic zodiac isn’t confined solely to the lunar cycle. The Druids split their years into 2 halves: the dark half and the light half to represent the recurring cycle of birth, life, death, and rebirth. As a result the Druids developed a zodiac rooted in both the lunar and solar cycles of life.

Find Out What Your Celtic Tree Sign Means

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“Being spiritual has nothing to do with what you believe and everything to do with your state of consciousness.”
― Eckhart Tolle

What type of spirit do you have?

I consider myself a very spiritual person, not in the religious way, but in a human way.  I know that we are all connected to each other somehow through an invisible force and we can tap into the spiritual consciousness of the world should we wish to do so.  To be connected to this consciousness takes a little silence every day, a time to just sit and let the thoughts of your mind just casually drift, instead of grabbing them and letting them drive you to a place unknown.

I thought it would be fun to add this little quiz to see what kind of spirit you are.

As always this is just for fun and truly doesn’t mean anything of significance, but it’s always interesting

 

What Type of Spirit Do You Have?

 

 

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Pictures surround us everywhere in life and we take in thousands of them every day on a subconscious level.  According to our personality and the different stages of life we are going through we prefer certain types of images, and they can give us an insight into our own personality.

Take this quick personality quiz  to find out what it reveals about you. Remember it’s only for fun, but I think you’ll be surprised with the results.

Personality Quiz – What do the Images You Choose Reveal About You?

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The inkblot Rorschach test is a famous test throughout the world, developed by Hermann Rorschach in 1921.

The test still gets taken by thousands of people around the world every day and it’s a fun quiz to take which is why I have decided to add it here on CYT.

Remember this is only for fun so please don’t take it too seriously, but it would be good to know your results.

 

Take The The Inkblot Rorschach Test

 

 

 

 

Let us know your results by leaving a facebook comments below

 

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The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heel.  They are the deepest and often the most painful.  The reason is because we do not understand them, and as humans, we crave to understand.  We crave to understand our own lives and the world around us… and when we don’t… we suffer from a feeling of conflict and uncertainty which only serves to exasperate the already existing pain.

Sometimes, we hurt for reasons that we are well-aware of; heart-break, job-loss, conflict with a loved one.  We understand our hurt.  It doesn’t take away the pain, but we understand why we feel it, and deep down somewhere within us, we also know that time will heel us; that eventually, we will overcome the pain.

When we feel a sadness, or anger, or hurt where we cannot identify the source, the pain is multiplied.  It is multiplied because when we don’t understand why something has arrived, how can we ever understand when and if it will ever depart.  We feel helpless. How can we cure something that was never diagnosed?

The pain that we do not understand is the sharpest of all pains.

Unfortunately I have no magic solution.  However, the best advice that I can offer is to seek awareness.  Seek to understand yourself; your feelings; your emotions.  Seek to understand their drivers and their manifestations.  Become present.

Awareness and understanding, like any other attitude, is a choice.  It is also a habit.  The more we do it, the more natural it feels and the easier it becomes.

When we begin to better understand ourselves; our feelings, our emotions and where they are coming from, we find ourselves feeling more in control. We find ourselves feeling calmer from a sense of understanding that we previously lacked. And even if there is no ‘solution’, that awareness and understanding provides solace in and of itself.

How do you do it and were do you start?  All it takes is one choice, made every day, to be present.  Become a spectator of your own life.  Notice your surroundings when you are feeling energized, and notice when you are feeling drained.  Notice the people that make you feel alive, and the ones with whom you feel defeated.  Notice the situations that calm you down, and those that make you tense.  Become aware of the circumstances that make you angry, and those that make you kind.  Perhaps most importantly, adjust accordingly.  Invite more of the positive people into your life, and distance yourself from the toxic.  Seek out situations where you feel energized and alive, and avoid those where you feel defeated and beaten.  Create the environments that make you calm and kind and avoid those that make you tense or anxious.

The unseen scars are the hardest to heel, but they need not remain in the dark.

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I turn 30 this year. Yep. My twenties are about to be done.

There’re a ton of articles out there on life lessons while growing up past your twenties. They’re all cool and pretty fun to read, but I want to give it a little twist by talking about people and what I’ve learnt from them throughout my life.

In between dealing with several breakups, being cheated on, falling out with friends and watching my own dad die when I was 20, it’s safe to say that I accumulated a ton of valuable lessons.

Let’s go.

1) Be wary of people who are exceedingly nice for no real reason

When somebody was really nice to me on first meeting, it usually meant they wanted to sell me something or get something out of me.

They use a lot of flowery language as they say stuff like, “I don’t normally do this for others, but for you I will.

Be extremely wary and guard yourself. It’s easy to fall prey to these guys who are constantly on salesperson mode.

2) People are not what they seem, so don’t be too quick to judge

My first girlfriend, who I met in church was initially a really sweet and innocent person who wanted the best for me. Or so I thought.

I found out after the breakup from her best friend that she was cheating on me all along, which explained her erratic behaviour.

People are not what they seem despite their “credentials.” Unless you really know somebody over a long period of time, don’t give them the benefit of the doubt that often.

3) Some people should be judged quickly so you can steer clear of them

I know, I know. Everybody today says that judging people is wrong, but I disagree.

We’re all human and it’s natural to make snap judgements.

I say, judge people well and use it for your benefit then. Personally, I won’t bother hanging out with people who are rude to the waiter and treat service staff like crap.

Toxic people are meant to be dumped. Stop wasting time on them.

4) People change,  get over it

I’ve fallen out with a handful of friends over the course of my adult life. I just didn’t see the point in the friendship anymore.
Some of these friends changed for the worst and did not resonate with my values and principles. Of course, I also acknowledge that I change myself.

Thus, don’t hang on to a dying friendship. Let it go and be free.

5) You can never change your parents

Whether they’re always nagging, overly protective or not putting in enough time for you, it’s hard to change your parents.
You’re after all, still their kid. Try to go with the flow and see how you can improve relationships.

6) Some people are never on time

And it’s all the more mind boggling when they’re grown adults.

They’re never punctual and whatever you say or do can’t change that. I honestly think it’s pretty immature, but I simply don’t make plans with such people anymore.

7) What may seem logical to you is like rocket science to others

I know of a bunch of friends who enjoy taking their jokes too far by teasing about each others’ parents. Clearly, we have a different view on what’s cool and what’s not, but to be upset over them wouldn’t change anything.

That is why you shouldn’t waste your time enforcing your values on others. You just have to be patient with them or simply avoid them altogether.

8) The loudest person is usually the most insecure

I was once close to a guy who invested in expensive watches, talked frequently about sports cars, read up on soccer during World Cup even though he’s not a fan and boasted about how many girls he has slept with.

In truth, he was always cheating on his girlfriend, drove his mom’s car and worked part-time jobs to buy expensive brands. When we questioned him on his lifestyle, he was quick to change topics.

When somebody is always showing off, it usually means they’re insecure. That is why they need the external goods. They dare not look in the mirror.

9) People who aren’t introverts will never understand

I’ve come to embrace my introvert side as I grew up. I enjoy being alone and even staying in on weekends. I also personally decline most wedding invitations I get.

This may seem normal to me, but most others don’t get it, calling me “weird” or different.

But that’s their problem, not yours. Embrace your introvert side and continue growing your own way.

10) You may be close to somebody you dislike one day

It’s funny how life works. There were a couple of people I never really liked. After a few years down the road, we became friends. All was good.

So here’s the thing: Don’t be too upset when somebody gets in the way. And don’t hold on to a grudge too tightly. You never know what the future brings, but it’s safe to say that, after everybody grows up, it’ll all be good.

11) Everybody is doing the best they can with what they have

We all clash and get upset with each other from time to time. It’s easy to start fighting over who is right or wrong.

But if you want to be happy yourself, you have to let it go and not force people to see things your way.

Others are doing the best they can, just like you.

12) Some people’s lives are only on social media

In other words, they validate their lives based on the number of likes or comments they get on Facebook, Instagram or whatever.

These are the same people who are always on the phone when you’re out with them.

13) People are attracted to status, social proof and money

If you want to make a lot friends, work a cool job at a cool place and then show that you’re rich.

It sounds cynical, but that’s just how life works. I think it’s good to make use of this idea to simply bridge the gap in making many connections, then filtering them according to your values to create genuine friendships.

I should know. I used to work in a club.

14) Almost everybody is guilty of gossiping

As much as I believe that only average people talk about other people and completely omit looking in and reflecting, I think all of us are guilty of gossiping.

We’re curious creatures, and we want to know what’s going with others.

I think the line needs to be drawn, especially when you’re using other people as an excuse to elevate yourself when you really are too afraid to work on your problems.

15) Death is very real

That is why people literally come and go.

I experienced this hard when my dad died of ALS when I was only 20.

After that, call it a bizarre coincidence, quite a number of my friends lost their parents too.

Death is indeed very real. Treasure your loved one. Try to be happy.

 

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I love this type of relational psychology quiz so I decided to add another one this week.  You can view the other one I posted last week at Innermost Thoughts

So let’s get started with this one.

Read the following scenario and questions, try and visualise yourself actually in the scenes and write down, or remember, the first thing that comes into your mind as you read the questions.  Don’t think too much about them, just read and let your intuition flow:

A Walk in The Woods

1. You are walking in a beautiful woodland area, as the sun shines through the trees and a gentle breeze flows over your whole body.  It’s a beautiful day.  You are walking with someone:

Who are you walking with?

2. As you walk through the woods, up ahead you see an animal in front of you:

What kind of animal is it.

3. What happens with you and the animal, and what interaction takes place between you and the animal?

4. As you walk deeper into the woods, you come to a clearing, and in the middle of the clearing is a your perfect house.

Describe it’s size

5. As you walk closer to the house and see more of it, is it surrounded by a fence?

6. You tentatively walk to the front door of this house and enter as the door is is slightly ajar. As you walk in you walk through to the dining area and see a table.  

Describe what you see on and around the table.

7. As you finish looking around you exit the house via the back door into the garden area, which has a large area of grass.  In the centre of garden, in the grass, you see a cup.

What material is the cup made of (ceramic, glass, porcelain etc)

8. What do you do with the cup?

9. As you walk to the bottom of the garden you find yourself standing at the edge of a body of water.

What type of body of water is it (river, lake, pond etc)

10. As you think about how to get back home you have to cross the water.

How do you plan on doing this?

Now scroll down a little to see what your answers really mean

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This has been a relational psychology test. The answers given to the questions have been shown to have a relevance to values and ideals that we hold in our personal lives. The analysis follows:

1. The person who you are walking with is the most important person in your life.
2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems.
3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems (passive, aggressive).
4. The size of your dream home is representative of the size of your ambition to resolve your problems.
5. No fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence is more indicative of a closed personality. You’d prefer people to not drop by unannounced.
6. If your answer did not include food, people, or flowers then your are generally unhappy.
7. The durability of the material with which the cup is made is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship with the person from number 1. For example, styrofoam, plastic, and paper are all disposable and you don’t really value the person long term.  Glass, and ceramic are a little more precious and means you have a strong but fragile relationship; metal, wood, and plastic indicate a strong, long lasting relationship.
8. What you do with the cup is representative of your attitude toward the person in number 1.
9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire.
10. How wet you get in crossing the water is indicative of the relative importance of your sex life.

Remember this is only a bit of fun so don’t take it too serious

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There is a huge difference between being alone and feeling lonely: Being alone is the choice to spend time with yourself and feeling lonely is the need to be in the company of others.

I didn’t meet the woman of my dreams until I was 32 years old and up until that point I loved being alone. I had my own flat, went out when I wanted, stayed up until 4am and got up at 8am, I had friends to go raving with, friends to go to the cinema with, friends to have a coffee with, relationships with other women, one night stands with other women, dabbled in drugs, played the stockmarket, got a degree in Psychology, quit a few jobs on a whim to go travelling, found out the difference between dancing at a rave and truly feeling the music flow through me, and dancing at a nightclub and feeling self conscious, found out what I truly was looking for in an ideal partner, and discovered what I really wanted to do in life.

It all sounds like a very hedonistic lifestyle, but underneath it all was the conscious choice to spend a lot of my time alone.  I love my own company and treasure the moments I get a bit of time to myself.

Now, I have Sharon and my two sons and I treasure the times we have together, but I have continued my alone time by setting up a business from home and basically spend around 9 hours per day completely alone in my office with my dog.  But, I am not lonely, far from it.  I chat on skype with some great people I have met related to my business, I go out with friends and family, I interact with readers on Facebook, and occasionally travel around the country to attend various seminars and masterminds, meeting some amazing people in the process.  I used to consider myself to be an introvert, but now think I am more of an ambivert. I have the perfect balance in my life.

Some people cannot embrace this alone time, but when you embrace this time of being alone you will never again feel lonely in your life.

9 Things That Will Happen When You Embrace Being Alone

1. You get time to exhale

So often we are busy running around at 100 miles per hour at work, and with friends and family, we hardly get time to take a breathe.  When you spend time alone, you get time to take a deep breathe and exhale slowly, letting all the dramas fade from your mind.

2. The fog in your mind begins to lift

Have you ever felt that you are so busy with life that you just can’t seem to see things clearly? Being alone offers this fog of busyness to lift from your mind, and clears the way for clearer thinking.

3. Reflect on your own life

We don’t often get a chance to reflect on our own life as we’re so busy involved in the lives of others.  Getting this time is essential if you want to answer the big questions in life: What do I want? What can I do to make myself more happy? What can I to to contribute? What the hell am I doing?

I know in the past I have gone with the flow of life, which is great, but then three years later have realised I am stuck in a shitty job I don’t like and wonder why the hell I am doing it, or got stuck in a relationship that was just happening and not growing.  This time alone gives us a chance to stop and think about the things that really matter.

4. Spend time doing things you love

There are so many things I have learned by embracing being alone, like learning to build websites, write code, learn the guitar, writing, learning how to make videos, and learning more about myself through reading.

When you embrace being alone you have the choice of doing anything that you feel like doing, there’s no restrictions, nobody to say ‘Oh that’s just silly’ (or if you’re in Scotland: ‘That’s bloody mental’).  Imagine if you had the chance to learn anything, what would it be?

5. Get more things done

When you’re away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and everyday dramas you tend to get a hell of a lot more done than normal.  You get the time, free from distractions, to get your head down and get on with it.

6. Become more confident

There’s a quiet confidence about people who have learned to embrace their own company.  They don’t talk for the sake of being heard, they tend to talk only when there’s something to say, but more than that, they don’t feel self conscious about not talking and feel very confident in the company of others.  This is because they have a deep inner confidence that only comes when you have learned to embrace yourself fully, which comes from spending more time alone.

7. Feel a lot more independent

When you stop craving the company of others and start doing things you wouldn’t normally do unless you were with someone else, like eat out at a restaurant, go to the cinema, or go for a long drive.  When you start to do these things alone, it can be extremely empowering.

8. Get in touch with your emotions

You can’t know your emotions when you are trapped in the energy of other peoples dramas.  only when you get time to be yourself can you truly get in touch with your emotions.  You will gain a deeper insight into the things that make you truly happy.

This comes with understanding yourself more which can only come with a little bit of me time.

9. Feel connected to something deeper

There’s something amazing that happens when you have a little solitude in your life.  You start to ask the bigger questions; What is my purpose, why am I here, what can I do to contribute.

This seems to be an inbuilt program in the human mind, and we can’t truly reflect on these questions unless we have a bit of solitude.

I have spent many hours thinking about the bigger questions and formulated my own beliefs and thoughts about the world when I have spent time alone and these beliefs and thoughts have permeated my daily thoughts and interactions with others in my life.

So it’s not just about being alone in the moment.  It seems that spending quality time alone can have a lasting effect on everything that you do and also have an effect on the relationships you have in life.

Let me know your thoughts about this, would love to hear what you think.

 

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“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilised by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself” Walter Anderson
March 27th 2005 I was in a hospital room with my family. I was in so much pain I could hardly breathe. My Mum had just died, three days after my father death.

My father had dementia and passed away peacefully in his sleep. I had lost my Dad 3 years before he actually died. Dealing with a father who had dementia was very difficult and a very emotional time for my family.

When I received the early morning call from my brother telling me Dad had died, I felt relieved and quite calm. Dad was no longer in pain and was at peace.

However when I got to the Rest Home and saw Dad, the grief overwhelmed me and I cried for the loss of my beautiful, loving, kind father.

My mother comforted me and we cried. My mother was a successful businesswoman, strong, courageous and resilient. She and Dad had survived the unbearable tragedy of losing a child. She had survived several health scares and had lovingly cared for Dad as his dementia progressed. They had been married 52 years.

My mother held my sister’s and my hand as we walked into the cemetery. There were people everywhere, the sun was shinning and it was a hot day. People filed by my family slowly, hugging us and crying. I looked over to my mum and she was smiling. Suddenly she fell to the ground and it was then that my whole world collapsed. My mother was rushed to hospital and she died a few hours later.

The sudden loss of my parents was a life changing experience for me – my life would never be the same and my perspective on life changed forever.

In the very early stages of my grief all I could think about was my pain and my sadness. I couldn’t even consider that there would be any lessons for me to learn as a result of losing my parents.

Overtime I have come to realise that there are things that we learn from our grief and that these lessons are part of our healing. I also know that if we choose to open our hearts to embracing these lessons, our life over time slowly but surely goes from a languishing life to a flourishing life.

“In school you are taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you are given a test that teaches you a lesson” Malcolm X

I love the quote from Malcolm X as he explains so well how we are taught our lessons of life – we have to be tested to learn the lesson.

Losing someone you love is a test of life and you have no control over the tests or challenges that life throws at you – what you do have, however, is the power to control your response to these challenges or tests.

I learnt 7 valuable life lessons as a result of losing my parents.  I would like to share these 7 lessons with you to encourage you, to live your life to the fullest, to chase your dreams, to deal with the curveballs that life throws at you, to seize the moment and to treasure the gifts of life, love and laughter.

1. Live Your Life to the Fullest As It Can Change In A Blink Of An Eye
“Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows” Pope Paul VI

If you have a dream but you are too scared to go for it – don’t wait for the right time, as it never is the right time. Find a way and go for it.

After my father’s death, my priorities changed. I realised that I needed to get clear about what was important and who were important in my life.  For me it was my family and my friends.

I also found the courage to follow my dream. I have always wanted to be a writer, speaker and coach. For a number of reasons, mainly fear, I never fully committed to following my dream. I kept putting it off.  I knew that I had to follow my dream because I didn’t want to look back at my life when I was 70 and wish I had given it a go. Life is too short to have regrets!

Embrace life, take the time to make memories and cherish the moments you spend with the people you love. Get your priorities sorted and know what is important to you.

2. Family and Friends  -Your Precious Gifts in Life
“Smiles add value to our face. Love adds value to our heart.
Respect adds value to our behaviour.  Friends and Family add value to our Life” Unknown

The people you surround yourself with – your family and friends is your treasure chest. They are more important than all the money, the power or fame, the cars, the houses, the boats, or the overseas holidays you may have.

My family and my friends were my lifeline when I was feeling so much pain after the loss of my parents. I learnt such a valuable lessons about the importance of family and friends because without them I would not have survived or healed.

All these material things you gather, your fortune and your power are easy to get and easy to lose. If you lose your money, you go make more, if you don’t like one house you go buy another and on it goes. The people in your life who love and support you, once you lose them you cant get them back.

3. Healing Is A Process – don’t rush it.
“And so I wait. I wait for time to heal the pain and raise me to me feet once again – so that I can start a new path, my own path, the one that will make me whole again.” ― Jan Canfield

Grief doesn’t magically end after a set period of time. There will always be reminders in your life where your feelings of loss and grief will return. Overtime, however, you will find that your pain turns to a dull ache, then to sad memories where you cry, and then, after awhile, you will have memories where you smile briefly.

There will be days where you will want to hide away from the world, crawl into bed and pull the covers over your head. You should do it, though be warned don’t use this time out as an excuse to hide away from the world forever. If you give in and stay hiding away it can make it difficult for you to pull yourself out of the dark cave you are in.

There is no right or wrong way to feel when grieving. It is a fluid process and different for everyone, so go with it. Don’t fight it. Be kind to yourself and believe in you, your strength and your courage – the essential ingredients to healing you.

4. Use Your Power Of Choice – Choose to be hopeful.
“There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength. No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.” Dalai Lama XIV

We cannot control the bad things that happen in our life however we can control our reactions to these challenging events through our Power of Choice. Essentially, how we live our life is determined by how we choose to live it.

When we step into using our Power of Choice we are actively seeking solutions to deal with the challenges we have to face. Using our power of choice empowers us to recognise how we can move forward. To move forward we maintain our hope for a better future and with hope comes optimism and positive attitude to life.

This is very simple but we can sabotage  living a happy life by not trusting ourselves to step out of our comfort zone. Choose to turn your adversity and challenges into a life – learning journey.

5. Find Your Purpose In Life
“When you lose something in your life, stop thinking it’s a loss for you… it is a gift you have been given so you can get on the right path to where you are meant to go, not to where you think you should have gone” Suze Orman

Finding your purpose in life gives your life meaning. Knowing your purpose in life gives you clarity, focus and hope for your future.

Don’t be overwhelmed by the journey to find your purpose in life – it is a big journey. Make a plan and take action – don’t give up. Set realistic and achievable goals and take one step at a time.

Celebrate your successes – each time you achieve your goal no matter how small or how big, celebrate it and share your successes with those you love.

Happiness comes when you know what you are doing, believe in what you are doing and love what you are doing. The pursuit of your happiness is all about you living a meaningful life and when you find your purpose in life, you increase your happiness in life by 200 percent.

6. Don’t Let Your Past Rule Your Life Now And  In The Future.
“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the future” Jan Glidewell

Your past is your opportunity to learn the lessons you need in order to deal with your present life. Let go of your regrets in life, make peace with your past, accept it and move on. Don’t waste your energy on what is not important. Focus on what you have, not what you don’t have.

Look for opportunities for self-discovery and learn how to trust and believe in you. You are not what happened in your past, you are whom you choose to be now and in your future.

Become the strong empowered resilient person you desire to be. The person who looks forward the future and is living a happy fulfilled life.

7.  Don’t Run Away From Life – stay strong and embrace its unpredictability.
“Running away from your problems is a race you will never win, so just face them head on, and overcome them.” – Unknown

Life is a strange and amazing journey, full of painful experiences and beauty. Running away from the challenges life presents to us is not the answer to dealing with life. When you run away the only place you can go is nowhere!

The pain, the discomfort and the challenges of life will follow you where ever you go. It is ok to fall apart for a little while but only for a little while.

Spend time on you, developing your strength and your resilience. Get prepared for life and be adaptable and flexible.

Remember that everything that happens to you is a life lesson – embrace life and never forget how precious the moments in life are.

“ The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen”. Dr Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

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“You wanna fly, you got to give up the sh*t that weighs you down.” ― Toni Morrison

There’s a reason slavery was officially abolished from North America in 1865: It’s inhumane, it’s unjust, it’s cruel and quite frankly it’s just wrong in all senses of the word.

And although slavery is no longer a tolerated part of our culture, many of us still keep ourselves emotionally and mentally bound and oppressed with rules, regulations, and absolutes about the way things must or ought to be both on the inside and outside of ourselves.

The problem is slavery doesn’t really work for human beings. No one actually wants their freedom taken away and their lives ruled by someone else.

But many of us still trick ourselves into believing we don’t have the freedom to make our own conscious choices, and we do this by using, and using, and using again one simple little word with big powers to oppress.

And this word is the very common should.

I should be able to do everything well.

I should exercise more.

I should be liked by everyone.

I should take better care of my health.

I should be a better listener.

I should be more generous.

… and the shoulding goes on and on.

Sure, maybe I should and maybe I shouldn’t – who’s to say? But what does shoulding on ourselves actually accomplish? It’s not a word that inspires a call to action, and it’s certainly not motivating in the least.  It doesn’t imply any sort of choice, so why do we keep it as an actively used word in our vocabulary?

What, I ask you, is the point of the ever present and WAY overused should? Why do we insist on shoulding on ourselves and what purpose does it serve other than to make us feel inadequate, unproductive, inefficient, unmotivated, guilty, depressed, discouraged and anxious?

I’m going to go ahead and say there really is no point and thus the word is useless.

But there is hope!! There is always hope.

By simply removing that word from our vocabulary all together, we will free ourselves into a whole new way of thinking, feeling and doing, or not doing – but hey, the point is, we have the choice, right?

We are not slaves, and we don’t deserve to treat ourselves as slaves.

So if we’re going to remove it altogether and start feeling like the free individuals we actually are, the easiest way to do it is to catch ourselves when the should rears its nasty head, stop right there, and just replace that one little word with a more freedom inspired and empowering word or short phrase.

Here are a few you can choose from:

Prefer

Would Like

Could

Would be nice if

I would prefer it if I could do everything well… but I am a perfectly normal human being with limits so that might not always be possible.

I could exercise more, but I haven’t decided yet if I am ready to make that commitment.

It would be nice if everyone liked me, but the truth is not everyone will, just as I won’t like everyone I meet, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I would like to take better care of my health and I’m going to look into changes I can start making.

It would be nice if I were a better listener, and maybe I’ll start working on it, and maybe I won’t.

I could be more generous, and I think I will find a way to be so.

By simply removing and replacing should with one of the above choices we all of a sudden have authority over our lives again.

It’s really not a matter of what we should or shouldn’t do, think, or feel. It’s what we chose to do, think or feel.

Think about it this way, if you take the above suggestions to heart and put them into action you will notice a significant decrease in your anxiety, your depression, your guilt, your anger, and your frustration.

Without all of those shoulds making a big oppressive mess, you will free yourself up to experience much more love, joy, and connection with both yourself and others.

The post Remove this One Word From Your Vocabulary and It Will Change Your Life appeared first on Change your thoughts.

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