Love is grand, isn’t it? For those of us who are lucky enough to already have the great comp any of a partner, there’s nothing better than being in love. Having someone to always be there for you, laugh with you, cry with you and spend the rest of your days with. Yes, love certainly is grand. For those who are just starting out in a relationship, the question is always, when do you say I love you?
This is never an easy thing and I often wonder if it’s harder for one gender than it is the other. Do women fall in love faster than men do? I imagine thousands of surveys and much research has been done on this topic. I wonder if men fall in love just as swiftly as women do but they are more reserved in declaring their love. Perhaps due for fear of being rejected? Who knows, really. As grand is love is, it’s still a funny thing.
Does he or doesn’t he?
We always first want to know if they do. We question their actions, their words, their texts, every little thing they do. We look for clues of love. He brought me flowers, so he must love me. She talks about me to her friends all the time, so she must love me. Sometimes we mistake love for simply a deep like or appreciation. There’s a fine line and, yes, that like could very well turn into love but it very well may not either. This person may like you a lot but may not be attracted to you in sense of a committed relationship.
Many of us have such a strong attachment to the outcome that we forget to just relax and have fun while we are dating this person. Because of this, we forget what it’s like to be real, have fun and live with no expectations. Does he or doesn’t? The answer will reveal itself soon enough.
Who are you anyway?
It certainly is hard to tell if they love you or not. Remember dating is where it all starts. We have to check our lust and egos at the door, first and foremost, when we first start dating. You probably are absolutely beautiful and had a million dates in high school but this isn’t high school anymore and he wants to know how beautiful you are inside too. And you probably were the most popular guy in university and all the girls wanted to date you, but. You get the idea. You have to remember to stay true to you. To who you are now. If you are pretending to be someone you’re not, chances are, the person you are dating will discover that eventually anyway and before anybody has a chance to declare love, it will all be over.
There’s always that period where you are desperately trying to find out more about this person, find out about all of them, learn their bad habits, their good qualities, etc., before we can decide if we are going to give our heart to them. Imagine if that person was pretending to be so me super awesome being, you did fall in love and suddenly their true colours displayed themselves? You fell in love with a chameleon and sadly enough, that happens a lot. That’s why it’s important to always just be yourself. The person you are dating is either a good match for you or not. Best to find out early enough on.
Is it time now?
If you listen and trust your gut instinct, which I might add, never lies, it will warn you or guide you. Pay attention to it. If there is a teeny bit of gnawing inside of you that is warning you that something isn’t right, listen to it. What does your gut say? What does your heart say? Gut first, heart next. Have there been any slight red flags in the dating process? Pay attention to them. If the gut feels good and the heart is fluttering, then just come out with it and say it. If you feel it and you have eliminated it as being possible lust, then in my opinion, just say it. If that’s how you feel, that’s how you feel. The heart nor the gut, ever lies and if they are both telling you it’s love. Then it’s love. If you feel from them, and you will feel vibes from them from how they are treating you, the same emotions you are feeling, then love is in the air. And love is grand.
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Sig Nordal 