Chances are, your biggest expenses are housing, transportation, and food
. In most high cost of living cities, all three of these already large expenses are even larger. If you’re planning a move to an expensive city, prepare your budget for the hit with a trial run.
Android/iOS/Windows/Web: Learning how to code is normally a time-consuming process. SoloLearn aims to make it easier by breaking down programming concepts into quick, digestible daily lessons.
When you’re about to give a presentation or have a difficult conversation, your body might respond in the least helpful way ever: by getting nervous. This video offers a ton of helpful tips on how to deal with a nervous response.
Dollar stores are cheap, but it’s easier to waste money there than you think. Without a keen eye, you’ll end up with damaged goods, nasty food, and last dibs on the best merch. Every dollar store is different, but these strategies will save you money and keep you safe.
First impressions and body language speaks volumes. Sometimes we don’t even realize what we’ve done or said until it’s too late and we can’t take it back. When was the last time you said something ridiculously stupid and wished you could erase your words the second they slipped out? You’re not the only one this has happened to. We are all guilty of the proverbial flub.
So what are some of the ones we don’t even realize we are making?
This one tops the list because as we know, a firm hand shake and looking right into someone’s eyes while doing it is a clear sign of trust, sincerity and shows you are caring and genuine. All the traits we seek in others. Give a limp handshake and you’ve lost the other person immediately. Pay attention. Don’t let this one slip, ever.
People like you to look at them when you are having a conversation with them. Not through them or around them or behind them. They want your undivided attention. Don’t give it to them and they will instantly feel you are not interested in talking to them anymore. It clearly shows lack of interest.
That’s the back off or back away body gesture that keeps everyone at a distance. If this is not your intention, then make sure you become aware of it immediately and unfold your arms. It also gives off a bit of a smug attitude. Another trait no one likes.
This is a nervous gesture that shows anxiety, lack of self confidence, shows you are uncomfortable, worried or stressed. It’s also extremely distracting. Try to be aware of this. Maybe try putting your hands in your pockets instead. If you are suffering from extreme stress or anxiety you should definitely look into controlling or eliminating that.
Staring right into someone’s eyes while they are talking is ok but to do it in almost a maniacal manner is totally not ok. It makes people feel uncomfortable and actually is a sign of aggression. Relax your gaze. Staring deep into someone’s eyes and not breaking your gaze is something that should maybe only done with a partner in an intimate moment?
Nodding in approval is a good sign but when you start to look like a dashboard bobble head, then there’s a problem. It’s annoying. The person you are talking to gets that you understand and agree with a simple nod or two. Continually nodding shows weakness. A need and desire, almost an urgency to be liked so you nod endlessly.
Do it on your way to the event or party. Once yo u get there, spit it out. There is nothing worse then trying to listen to someone talk while they are chewing gum or worse yet, trying to talk to someone while they are chewing and snapping gum. Get it out of your mouth before you get there.
We get it. The fish was that big. Or the house was that wide. If you are an exaggerated animated gesture maker, people will do anything to stay away from you. It’s annoying and obnoxious. You can make smaller gestures, if you need to animate your story, and still get your point across. Try it.
While sitting at in a chair or at a desk. You know the kind where the whole table shakes. This is probably nothing more than a simple little nervous habit you have had for as long as you can remember but it’s extremely annoying. Stop doing it.
Are you in a hurry? Are you late for something? Do you need to go somewhere else? If you answered to no to all of these, stop checking your watch. It’s rude. People will think you have better things to do than spend time talking to them. Don’t wear a watch if you can help it.
These are just a handful of things we all do and don’t realize the impact they make on other people. pay attention to your body language next time you are talking to someone and see if you are guilty of doing any of the gestures on the list and then try to control them.
The post 10 Body Language Mistakes We Make Without Realizing It appeared first on Change your thoughts.
You’re reading Why The Way You Think About Passion is Broken, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
Passion is such a powerful trigger word.
It arouses images of happiness, sweat, racing blood, shouting from atop buildings and reaching for the stars. You expect a revelation when you land on it. A sudden strike of clarity. A light bulb or eureka moment.
Really? Me? A writer? A designer? A photographer?
You get the picture?
So when none of this happens and there are no fireworks, we assume there is nothing we are passionate about. Nothing we truly care about.
We grapple. We lurch in a million different directions trying to find that one thing.All the while the question— What are you supposed to do—looms larger and larger at the back of our minds.
We throw ourselves into our work. We try to find passion in out 9-5s. We work longer and harder hoping that this elusive being called passion is going to pop out of somewhere…or served on a platter and the world will celebrate with us saying “Congratulations! Here’s your calling!”
But it doesn’t happen that way does it? So where have we gone wrong?
The root of all this confusion and struggle is asking the wrong questions in our pursuit of passion.
Why the questions we ask don’t help
We often enlist an outcome based approach to discovering passion.
These questions have nothing to do with discovering your passion. They have everything to do with consequence and results. What you should be asking are a set of questions that guide you through your past, your emotions and experiences. answer them honestly, and you may just see how your life has set you up to seize this very moment.
Questions to ask in your pursuit of passion
1. What clues do your past give you?
In the best selling bookQuitter, author Jon Acuff says, finding your passion “is rarely a first encounter. It’s usually a reunion.” It’s things that are second nature. Things that you have been doing for as long as you remember. You may knit or bake or fix junk. Nothing is too small or insignificant and that’s the whole idea.
Often, sifting through the past doesn’t bring joy but frightening feelings of pain and humiliation. Of being told that you are not good, or that you don’t live up to expectations, or that you’ll never make it. But digging through the pain of the past is necessary because the revelations you make may be startling.
2. What makes you angry
Now I don’t mean the mindless, or violent form of anger, rather compassionate anger. Is there anything about the state of things or the world at large that makes you angry and you think there needs to be an alternative?
I came across a story about a cafe called Sheroes Hangout in Agra India that is run and served by victims of acid attacks. It was founded by Alok Dixit who was aghast at the lack of job opportunities for acid victims and the stigma they faced.
But this compassionate anger does not necessarily have to be a social ill. It could be your frustration on the lack of products, facilities or tools for a certain market.
3. What have you always been questioning?
Have you always questioned why there isn’t a better way or a better product to solve a problem? What do you silently loathe or disagree with? Let your hunches, your nudges, your ‘huh’ moments lead you.
4.What do people come to you for?
What have you been helping people with all along? What may be insignificant to you, might just be what makes someone’s day. Ask your friends or colleagues what they see as your strengths. You will be surprised at the answers.
5. Where do you find flow?
Ever worked on something with such intense focus that you lose track of time. You look up and realize hours have gone by. That’s when you’ve experienced flow. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi terms flow the quality that sets creative labor apart from work. Take note of when these instances occur. What were you working on? what about it fuels you? You’re likely to find answers to your questions about passion in there.
6. What are you willing to suffer for today?
Passion is not about you. Passion is others-focused, not self-focused. In Die-Empty, Todd Henry speaks of productive passion. Productive passion is “what motivates you and is also beneficial to others.” It is what “drives you to labor on behalf of others rather than to simply satisfy your own needs.
He says “Instead of asking “What would bring me enjoyment?” which is how many people think about following their passion, we should instead ask “What work am I willing to suffer for today?”
Let’s fix the way we’ve been thought to think about passion
If you take the time to answer the questions above, you will start to see links and how the pieces of your life connect. It’s not a magical exercise that fixes everything, but it certainly lends light to what your reunion would be. So the next time someone says they have nothing they are passionate about, get them to ask the right questions.
Meera is a writer, mom and blogger at Meera Kothand. She helps busy solopreneurs and bloggers find focus, build authority and stand out online. Want to find more time for your side-hustle? Download her free guide of 27 productivity tools and hacks that add hours to your day.
You’ve read Why The Way You Think About Passion is Broken, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
You’re reading Why The Way You Think About Passion is Broken, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
Passion is such a powerful trigger word.
It arouses images of happiness, sweat, racing blood, shouting from atop buildings and reaching for the stars. You expect a revelation when you land on it. A sudden strike of clarity. A light bulb or eureka moment.
Really? Me? A writer? A designer? A photographer?
You get the picture?
So when none of this happens and there are no fireworks, we assume there is nothing we are passionate about. Nothing we truly care about.
We grapple. We lurch in a million different directions trying to find that one thing.All the while the question— What are you supposed to do—looms larger and larger at the back of our minds.
We throw ourselves into our work. We try to find passion in out 9-5s. We work longer and harder hoping that this elusive being called passion is going to pop out of somewhere…or served on a platter and the world will celebrate with us saying “Congratulations! Here’s your calling!”
But it doesn’t happen that way does it? So where have we gone wrong?
The root of all this confusion and struggle is asking the wrong questions in our pursuit of passion.
Why the questions we ask don’t help
We often enlist an outcome based approach to discovering passion.
These questions have nothing to do with discovering your passion. They have everything to do with consequence and results. What you should be asking are a set of questions that guide you through your past, your emotions and experiences. answer them honestly, and you may just see how your life has set you up to seize this very moment.
Questions to ask in your pursuit of passion
1. What clues do your past give you?
In the best selling bookQuitter, author Jon Acuff says, finding your passion “is rarely a first encounter. It’s usually a reunion.” It’s things that are second nature. Things that you have been doing for as long as you remember. You may knit or bake or fix junk. Nothing is too small or insignificant and that’s the whole idea.
Often, sifting through the past doesn’t bring joy but frightening feelings of pain and humiliation. Of being told that you are not good, or that you don’t live up to expectations, or that you’ll never make it. But digging through the pain of the past is necessary because the revelations you make may be startling.
2. What makes you angry
Now I don’t mean the mindless, or violent form of anger, rather compassionate anger. Is there anything about the state of things or the world at large that makes you angry and you think there needs to be an alternative?
I came across a story about a cafe called Sheroes Hangout in Agra India that is run and served by victims of acid attacks. It was founded by Alok Dixit who was aghast at the lack of job opportunities for acid victims and the stigma they faced.
But this compassionate anger does not necessarily have to be a social ill. It could be your frustration on the lack of products, facilities or tools for a certain market.
3. What have you always been questioning?
Have you always questioned why there isn’t a better way or a better product to solve a problem? What do you silently loathe or disagree with? Let your hunches, your nudges, your ‘huh’ moments lead you.
4.What do people come to you for?
What have you been helping people with all along? What may be insignificant to you, might just be what makes someone’s day. Ask your friends or colleagues what they see as your strengths. You will be surprised at the answers.
5. Where do you find flow?
Ever worked on something with such intense focus that you lose track of time. You look up and realize hours have gone by. That’s when you’ve experienced flow. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi terms flow the quality that sets creative labor apart from work. Take note of when these instances occur. What were you working on? what about it fuels you? You’re likely to find answers to your questions about passion in there.
6. What are you willing to suffer for today?
Passion is not about you. Passion is others-focused, not self-focused. In Die-Empty, Todd Henry speaks of productive passion. Productive passion is “what motivates you and is also beneficial to others.” It is what “drives you to labor on behalf of others rather than to simply satisfy your own needs.
He says “Instead of asking “What would bring me enjoyment?” which is how many people think about following their passion, we should instead ask “What work am I willing to suffer for today?”
Let’s fix the way we’ve been thought to think about passion
If you take the time to answer the questions above, you will start to see links and how the pieces of your life connect. It’s not a magical exercise that fixes everything, but it certainly lends light to what your reunion would be. So the next time someone says they have nothing they are passionate about, get them to ask the right questions.
Meera is a writer, mom and blogger at Meera Kothand. She helps busy solopreneurs and bloggers find focus, build authority and stand out online. Want to find more time for your side-hustle? Download her free guide of 27 productivity tools and hacks that add hours to your day.
You’ve read Why The Way You Think About Passion is Broken, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
Simplicity is all you really need in a bag, and reader Crystal C’s is a great example of that. Packed with just her essentials for writing, it’s clean and light.
Corn tortillas are delicious, but if yours are a little stale, revive them with a quick dip in cold water before reheating them in a skillet or wok
. They come back to life in seconds, and you get warm, fluffy tortillas perfect for wrapping or filling.
You can luckily find pretty much any show online these days, between Hulu, Netflix, Amazon, and others, but some people still itch for the uninterrupted feed of a television channel. Soon enough you might add another subscription to your video roster, as Hulu is exploring a new service with live TV streams.
Sig Nordal 