You’re reading 6 Simple Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

You’ll never be good enough. You can’t do it. Stop wasting your time.

That’s the voice inside your head trying to prevent you from success.

Think you’re alone? Think again.

We often assume that successful, confident people never have any doubts. We believe their decisions come easy and are never accompanied by regrets; however, that belief couldn’t be further from the truth.

Self-doubt is a natural human response to all the challenges life throws at us – acting as a mechanism to prevent us from facing failure. This may be useful in a life or death situation, but not so much when you are pondering talking to your boss about that promotion or unsure if you should sign up for the 5k road race.

In these situations, we often find our thoughts of uncertainty overstaying their welcome.

Erin Hanson provides the best advice anyone can give on second guessing themselves, “What if I fall? Oh, but my darling. What if you fly?”

Let that sink in for a moment.

Here are six ways to overcome self-doubt:

1.You’re not alone

Believing that you’re the only one with doubts is a sure fire way to set yourself up for failure. It’s important to understand that you’re not alone and that everyone goes through phases of uncertainty. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Overthinking will only make matters worse and you’ll end up creating problems that aren’t even there.

2. Become present

Self-doubt is often an unwanted consequence due to overthinking. Focusing on the present rather than the future or the past can provide your mind with much needed clarity, allowing you to refocus and push forward.

A simple mindfulness exercise such as sitting down while practicing deep breathing or a few minutes of guided meditation can help cure your indecision. With a fresh perspective you’ll be able to regain your focus and tackle whatever doubts you had before.

3. Set actionable goals

Still in a rut? Small accomplishments are one of the simplest tactics to get yourself out of a funk. Your goals don’t need to be the size of Goliath, requiring the perfect shot to defeat.

By breaking your goals into smaller, more actionable chunks it’ll ease the overwhelming stress of figuring out where to start. The sense of achievement you’ll experience from crossing each step off your list will lead to a boost of morale and keep you striving towards the finish line.

4. Surround yourself with optimism

Surrounding yourself with positive influences is a great way to keep you moving in the right direction. Keep those that provide you encouragement close to you and seek their advice when things go wrong.

Having the support of family and friends can help keep you motivated when you’re unsure of the next step to take. And don’t forget to distance yourself from those that don’t believe in you or provide any sense of negativity.

5. Believe in yourself

The underlying cause of self-doubt is from not believing in yourself. This is the perfect opportunity to relish in past success. Use prior accomplishments as leverage to dismiss your current fears. You’ve been here before. You’ve doubted yourself in the past and you’re still here — this time is no different. Believe in who you are, in what you’re going to achieve, and don’t be afraid to take a chance.

6. Prove others wrong

Haters are going to hate. Doubters are going to doubt. Sometimes people fill your mind with fears because they’re too afraid to follow their own dreams, or they failed once, or because they’re flat out jealous. Frankly, their reasons are meaningless. Don’t allow the limited beliefs of someone else impact you in anyway. Use their doubts as fuel along your journey.

Self-doubt gives us an easy out – allowing us to avoid our fears and protect ourselves from being hurt by failure. However, bowing down to indecision is what we should be fearing. There is nothing wrong with trying or failing. Great things happen outside of your comfort zone. Sometimes you need to take risks, block out the doubts, and just take a shot.

After overcoming a medical trauma, Gary has been inspiring others to overcome their challenges. For more inspiration and to learn more about his story, visit laughatadversity.com

You’ve read 6 Simple Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 6 Effective Ways to stop Pretending and be Original, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion. – Dale Carnegie.

We are creature of ego; we try to hide our feeling often, mostly we don’t want others to know our weakness and to let them realized that we are independent and don’t need anyone intervention to be free, to make decisions and capable enough, whereas deep down we have so many things we are ignorant of or need the help of someone better than we do.

You might be hurt by friends, family and others, just because of the doctrine we have been ignorantly belief in makes us to keep calm when we ought to talk, Accept bully when we ought to reject it, Silent when we ought to speak, apologize when we are right, correct someone who is wrong; but we didn’t act just because you believe someone will form an opinion about your actions.

When an introvert doesn’t have to pretend and act to be an extrovert, thinking that’s the only way to get accepted.

When black don’t have to bleach their skin to resemble a white man. Thinking that’s the best way he can get accepted and look beautiful (Self-Acceptance).

When we are free to talk, play and expressed our mind fully without been fake.

Being original means been unique and don’t have to compare yourself with others, rather think everyone is Special in his own nature.

One of the lessons I have learnt the hard way is to speak my mind at any time, Forgive when I need to, ask for a help whenever I am lost, apologize when wrong, no one is perfect and I don’t need to be perfect, I just have to do the right thing at the right time.

How to know you are living a Pretends life.
1. Trying to feel among, trying to blend yourself to fit people standard.

2. Pleasing everyone and hurting your ego: You are been ask for a help, you knew you can’t be of help and you are not in the position to render that at the moment, you force yourself to do this out of your will and later boomerang on your health, finance.

3. ying yes to all request: You are Mr. Yes, you say yes to every request, find it difficult to say no, whereas for you to succeed in life, learning to say No is important, because you will get to a point in your life where you have to say no, no matter how hurt it may be.

Why you should overcome been pretending and be Original.

To be independent, and not entangle your life with someone else.
2. Build more relationship: when you are real, people will feel it and be free to be around you.
3. It makes you happy: How would you feel not hiding your identity before you make friends, build relationship. Just imagine how life would be.

4. Genuine people will seek for you, not the fake one because they will appreciate your originality.

Ways to overcome being Pretending.
1. Analyze those belief: those thought you hold up that are making you behave this way, write them down, our thought determine how we react to situations, actions towards life, how we carry our self (self-worth) and look vividly on how they are hindering you in every area of life.

2. Make a decision: Plan on how to eliminate those beliefs and take an immediate action to tackle them once and for all. People have known you to be that person, behaving in new ways will look strange to them, and they are going to challenge you, so ready for it, and don’t be scared after all this your own life, don’t rely on someone to make a decision for you, know that they also have their own responsibility.

3. Live your own life: Everyone is different so don’t imitate a celebrity you saw on the T.V, that’s his own way of life, to copy someone lifestyle simply means neglecting yourself and living someone else lives, to avoid that create your own path and walk on it.

4. Seek for help: Look for someone who is an experience in this field i.e. consulting coach, Life coach, Mentors and others; they would understand you better than anyone. And help you to come up with method, ideas and ways to overcome it.
5. Take responsibility: Take yourself accountable for your actions, don’t feel guilty for doing the right thing, even if others are not supportive, when you are wrong apologize, and when you are in the right path don’t doubt yourself and follow your instinct.
6. Enjoy being yourself: Spent some time alone with yourself, you will never know your strength, weakness, capacity, hobbies fully when you spent every moment with someone you have to give fake identity of yourself to get accepted.

How as this article impact you? Share your opinion in the comments section below.

Author profile

Hello, am Gbemileke Sonde, I specialized on writing motivational and self-improvement articles, a content creator, and a freelancer you can read my blog at http://ift.tt/2xWWmx2 or my twitter handle http://www.twitter.com/mycoacharticle

 

You’ve read 6 Effective Ways to stop Pretending and be Original, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 6 Effective Ways to stop Pretending and be Original, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion. – Dale Carnegie.

We are creature of ego; we try to hide our feeling often, mostly we don’t want others to know our weakness and to let them realized that we are independent and don’t need anyone intervention to be free, to make decisions and capable enough, whereas deep down we have so many things we are ignorant of or need the help of someone better than we do.

You might be hurt by friends, family and others, just because of the doctrine we have been ignorantly belief in makes us to keep calm when we ought to talk, Accept bully when we ought to reject it, Silent when we ought to speak, apologize when we are right, correct someone who is wrong; but we didn’t act just because you believe someone will form an opinion about your actions.

When an introvert doesn’t have to pretend and act to be an extrovert, thinking that’s the only way to get accepted.

When black don’t have to bleach their skin to resemble a white man. Thinking that’s the best way he can get accepted and look beautiful (Self-Acceptance).

When we are free to talk, play and expressed our mind fully without been fake.

Being original means been unique and don’t have to compare yourself with others, rather think everyone is Special in his own nature.

One of the lessons I have learnt the hard way is to speak my mind at any time, Forgive when I need to, ask for a help whenever I am lost, apologize when wrong, no one is perfect and I don’t need to be perfect, I just have to do the right thing at the right time.

How to know you are living a Pretends life.
1. Trying to feel among, trying to blend yourself to fit people standard.

2. Pleasing everyone and hurting your ego: You are been ask for a help, you knew you can’t be of help and you are not in the position to render that at the moment, you force yourself to do this out of your will and later boomerang on your health, finance.

3. ying yes to all request: You are Mr. Yes, you say yes to every request, find it difficult to say no, whereas for you to succeed in life, learning to say No is important, because you will get to a point in your life where you have to say no, no matter how hurt it may be.

Why you should overcome been pretending and be Original.

To be independent, and not entangle your life with someone else.
2. Build more relationship: when you are real, people will feel it and be free to be around you.
3. It makes you happy: How would you feel not hiding your identity before you make friends, build relationship. Just imagine how life would be.

4. Genuine people will seek for you, not the fake one because they will appreciate your originality.

Ways to overcome being Pretending.
1. Analyze those belief: those thought you hold up that are making you behave this way, write them down, our thought determine how we react to situations, actions towards life, how we carry our self (self-worth) and look vividly on how they are hindering you in every area of life.

2. Make a decision: Plan on how to eliminate those beliefs and take an immediate action to tackle them once and for all. People have known you to be that person, behaving in new ways will look strange to them, and they are going to challenge you, so ready for it, and don’t be scared after all this your own life, don’t rely on someone to make a decision for you, know that they also have their own responsibility.

3. Live your own life: Everyone is different so don’t imitate a celebrity you saw on the T.V, that’s his own way of life, to copy someone lifestyle simply means neglecting yourself and living someone else lives, to avoid that create your own path and walk on it.

4. Seek for help: Look for someone who is an experience in this field i.e. consulting coach, Life coach, Mentors and others; they would understand you better than anyone. And help you to come up with method, ideas and ways to overcome it.
5. Take responsibility: Take yourself accountable for your actions, don’t feel guilty for doing the right thing, even if others are not supportive, when you are wrong apologize, and when you are in the right path don’t doubt yourself and follow your instinct.
6. Enjoy being yourself: Spent some time alone with yourself, you will never know your strength, weakness, capacity, hobbies fully when you spent every moment with someone you have to give fake identity of yourself to get accepted.

How as this article impact you? Share your opinion in the comments section below.

Author profile

Hello, am Gbemileke Sonde, I specialized on writing motivational and self-improvement articles, a content creator, and a freelancer you can read my blog at http://ift.tt/2xWWmx2 or my twitter handle http://www.twitter.com/mycoacharticle

 

You’ve read 6 Effective Ways to stop Pretending and be Original, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading How to Keep Yourself Sane When Living Alone, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

According to what Paulo Coelho has written on his book, Manuscript Found in Accra, “If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself. And if you do not know yourself, you will begin to fear the void.”

Living alone in another country is one of the least things you could wish for yourself. Life isn’t always about living with pure bliss; it’s also about experiencing the darkest of nights. That’s how you can maintain the equilibrium of your life. Just like the “Yin Yang” of the Chinese Philosophy, that means shady side and sunny side, respectively, in order for us to create a sane and balanced life. We always keep on talking about things like this but the question is, how?

Living alone is not a curse

It will always boil down on how will you view the situation, it’s either you’ll drown yourself with frustrations or you’ll start seeing the brighter side of life. You can cry for a while. You can even shout as loud as you can if you think that it could help you lessen the anxiousness that you’re currently experiencing. If you think that living alone is similar to imprisonment, that’s your choice. Why don’t you try changing the way you perceive things first? There’s nothing wrong in trying, right?

Give yourself a reward

When you’re working abroad and you still have a family to support in your homeland, always remember that it’s not a crime to treat yourself sometimes whenever you’ve received your paycheck. If you want to watch your homegrown movies and television series, why don’t you watch it whenever you have time? If you like having a new hairstyle, why don’t you go to the nearest salon and choose the style that suits you? Don’t spare yourself from all the good things that you deserve to have. You’re the one who worked hard for it, anyway.

Stop stressing about not being good enough

Living alone, without anyone that you can’t talk to personally, usually makes you feel lonely. Stress is something you can’t kick out of your life in just a snap. The best solution to fight it is to win against it. What’s the best way to stay calm even though you think that you’re already close to being devastated? Breathe.  Relax.  Yes, you have a report to be submitted before the day ends but it’s more difficult if you will work without a clearer mindset. A minute of distressing yourself won’t hurt.

Stay connected with your loved ones

No one can beat the power of having conversations with persons close to you. Talk to them about all the things that are bothering you. It doesn’t mean that even though you’re now residing in another place, you’ll also cut ties with them. Reconnect with them again and tell them how much you missed them. Talking with the people you love can help you feel sane. Don’t forget that those social networking sites are just a few clicks away.

Never isolate yourself

Not because you’re not with your friends anymore, you’ll forbid yourself to mingle with others. Keep in mind that it’s not a betrayal if you will make new friends. The bad thing about it is when you started ignoring them just because you’ve met people who you think are way cooler than them. Friendships will always about quality, not quantity. The most important thing is that you learned how to acquaint yourself with others so that you won’t be known as a rude person to your colleagues.

Problems are temporary

Did your employer scold you? Haven’t you passed the monthly report on time yet? Were you close to picking up a fight with your workmates? Again, take the time to breathe, to think, and to analyze everything before doing anything. This might be one of the most used phrases but, please don’t ever give up. You can rest for a while before starting the newest chapter of your life. If you feel unmotivated, think of the people who keep on believing in you whenever you think like you’re becoming a burden to society. You’ll make it. Maybe not now but eventually, you will.

If you’re in another country and you’re living alone, use that chance to be able to experience things such as giving yourself a new reason to be a better person. Every problems and situation exist because theses are needed for you to grow. Go easy on yourself now. Let go of all the loneliness and depression before it eats you alive without even knowing it.

You’ve read How to Keep Yourself Sane When Living Alone, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading How to Overcome Writer’s Block and Rediscover Freedom, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

You’re staring at that screen.

Nothing’s happening.

You’re checking, let’s see, email, Facebook, you go back to that empty word file.
Now, the negative self-talk begins.

Anxiety-You have to finish, and you haven’t even started.

Self-Critic-Why in the world did you ever agree to this?

Fun Guy-Tomorrow, Next Week, Next Year, anytime but now’s looking pretty good at this point.

The Angry Beast-Time to Pound the Keyboard.

Just Stop.

Pay yourself that penny, note your thoughts.

Breathe.

Gone to the Dark Writer Web?

Someone might laugh at what you write.

Someone might be angry at what you write.

Someone might criticize your writing as “bad”.

Perhaps NO ONE will read what you write.

Let’s get back to the light.

1-Wake Up!

Wake up in the Buddhist sense of being present.

Are you breathing from your chest?

That’s a sure sign of anxiety.

Send all your breath out of you with a calm and patient hiss until you have no more breath.

Now, when you are empty of breath, your abdomen will have no choice but to fill with breath.

Feel your abdomen fill, and breathe from there, filling up slowly.

Repeat.

Close your eyes, and watch your mind.

When it’s empty, keep that abdominal breath going, and see yourself typing happily.

Vigorous exercise BEFORE a writing session is also one of the best ways I know to restore your healthy instincts.

2-Disinvest in Whatever’s Right in Front of You

Odds are, you’re stuck, because some part of you is invested too heavily emotionally in whatever you’re working on.

What does that mean?

It means you’re not using your assets to write, you’re using the credit card of expecting someone else’s approval to be successful.

You need to relax and consider why this piece of writing is so important to you. Does it mean you won’t have to put on clothes ever again in the morning?

Do you expect traffic on a major highway to all pull off to the side when you appear just because of this one piece?

Here’s the biggest one of all. Do you think people will approve of you, or you’ll approve of yourself because you write this?

Get real.

How much weight are you putting on this item? More than it can possibly satisfy?

Time to get in touch with all those impossible outcomes, talk with someone else, or best of all, with yourself. Write down what you expect, see if you expect too much, and let go those expectations without self-criticism. Accept those expectations, and let them go.

3-Create Something Else in the Short Term or Turn to Another Language

One of the most effective ways I know to restore your playful and creative writing instincts is to do something else creative to relax the pressure you are putting on doing this one writing project.

How?

Write something else, make it fun, make it a product of giving yourself the permission to write something wacky, private, and lousy, as long as you enjoy it.

Here’s another interesting way to relax back into your creative instincts:

Play some music.

Read aloud pretending you’re on stage.

If you know another language, spend an hour speaking and our writing in it, so that you disinvest that “stake” in that single writing project that you’re stuck on.

4-Permission and Approval

Remind yourself that you aren’t what you write, no matter how good or bad it is.

Remind yourself you’re a human being, not a human doing.

Remind yourself that you will always win by failing, even if your eventual success doesn’t show up right away.

Channel your ideal reader. Make sure you have an ideal reader, the person whose image you can summon at will, someone you know, or someone you’ve made up, who loves you and is excited about your writing, no matter what.

5-Enlist your Brain

Pretend by sending yourself a congratulatory email that you’ve finished this challenging project and are ready for something new, then, without thinking,
dive right into what’s been giving you trouble.

You’ve now gotten your brain to help you bring about the outcome it already informed you of.

Writer’s Block is just another expression for a kind of self-imposed prison.

When you rediscover the joy of writing, you’ve simply set yourself free.

Write, rejoice in your creativity, and let your fingers dance across the keys as you soar to new heights.

If you’re a writer, there’s no greater self-kindness than liberation.

Be Free.

---

Lars Nielsen has decades of experience helping individuals and businesses discover and share their core message. Whatever your message or audience, grab his “Make YOUR Message Matter Cheat Sheet” and put his time-tested techniques to work immediately.

You’ve read How to Overcome Writer’s Block and Rediscover Freedom, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 8 Ways Being Mindful Can Reduce Anxiety, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Mindful thinking is a savior; it helps you realize that no scenario or circumstance is hard to overcome if you truly are in control of your own mind and actions.

How can being mindful help with reducing anxiety and in turn, increase your self-growth?

Let’s take a look:

If you are looking to become independent without being affected by anxiety too much then you need to take a look at the following infographic which can help you take control of your life.

Additionally, here a few quick and actionable tips that can also help you get more out of your life.

Being patient

Good things come with time, and also with a lot of patience. Impatience can often be the enemy that drives you crazy and stresses you out. As we all know, life doesn’t always work in our favor. Sometimes, waiting for the right moment and right opportunity is a better way to deal with things. Impatience makes you anxious and keeps you on the edge. When you’ve mastered the art of being patient and resilient, you will notice how things are falling into place smoothly.

 Being open minded

When you become open to change and learn to accept different perspectives for the same situation, you also get to see and analyze many possible outcomes. Especially in times of contingency, it’s very important to be open-minded, to avoid feeling overwhelmed or stressed out. Stress is sometimes the main cause for anxiety to start acting up, which results in the mind shutting down and struggling to make logical decisions. Keep an open mind and watch how things just flow, without too much effort.

Being conscious, always

How essential is it to be conscious at all times? What does being aware and alert do for a person? The answer is simple; when you are self-conscious and aware, at least as much as your mind allows you to be, you’re cutting down the margin for unnecessary errors and also helping yourself grow as an individual. Someone who is conscious, not just physically but also mentally, is someone who can deal with any scenario that comes his/her way and does not need to struggle or ramble through problems. A solution is easier to find when your mind is aware of what its goal is.

Being self-critical

Before taking into consideration any judgment that might come from a third person, learn to be your own judge.

When you are critical of your decisions and any possible mistakes you’ve made, instead of looking at the negative side of it, you learn to make the most of it. Who understands you better than yourself? No one. Our well-wishers and loved ones will always advise us, advise that we must definitely keep in mind, but when you are your own judge and critic, the path looks a lot more clear.

Being self-loving

Love yourself, at all times and in all situations. Why is this so important? Why is self-love advocated in such abundance?

Good things always begin from within. When you love yourself, there is no void you have to fill, no space that needs to be covered up. You never have the sense of feeling incomplete or alone, and this is what will get you through the toughest times. The fear of being alone, of not being enough, of being left out or alienated; all these fears lead to bouts of anxiety, which in turn damages you as a person and directly affects your self-confidence.

Being independent

The importance of independent living and thinking cannot be stressed on enough. An independent person is self-sufficient, self-reliant and is more than capable of dealing with him/herself, without feeling the need to depend on anyone else. It’s not a bad thing to seek assistance from those who are willing to give it to us, but when you are confident that despite any circumstance you will always be strong enough to take yourself through, there is no fear and there are no inhibitions.

Being positive

When you are an optimistic thinker, you can help but notice the better things in life. Through hard and trying times, you learn to master the art of staying happy, of smiling through a storm and becoming a warrior on your own. Positive thinking is only the beginning of a more content and fulfilled life. A positive thinker will deal with his anxiety in an optimistic manner; he/she won’t run away from it or develop a phobia but try to find a solution and embrace the ups and downs that come with it.

Being driven

Ambition is what keeps us going, no matter how old we are. When you have a goal and an aim, despite any amount of failures and setbacks, you are still driven to keep moving forward and not give up too easily. Giving up on anything ultimately results in giving up on yourself. When you believe in yourself, you are always motivated to not stop until you have achieved what you want most.

When you’ve made up your mind to take your life into your own hands and not let opportunities and chances slip away, you’ve won half the battle of dealing with anxiety. Limitations are only challenges that help you grow, if you can learn to look past the obstacles.

You’ve read 8 Ways Being Mindful Can Reduce Anxiety, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 4 Ways To Trick Others Into Thinking That You’re An Extrovert, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Is it just me or does it seem like this world was imagined, custom built and modified for extroverts?

Technology can only got so far in minimizing human interaction to the deliveryman, the person at the final window in the drive-thru and a magical thing called, “The Internet”.

For the rest of the time, you will have to deal with people… If you’re a budding entrepreneur or someone who wants to move ahead in life, you have to network!

So what can an introvert do in a networking setting to minimize discomfort?

1. Have a game-plan

You don’t have to automatically get in the middle of the room, pick a crowd and start hobnobbing. You could, if you wanted to, but you should ease your way into the room and scope the place out.

If there’s an open bar, maybe head there first, and who knows, you might start conversing with someone while you’re there.

Pretend that you’re a lion trying to make a kill and you’re looking for the right antelope — the lion rarely picks the slowest antelope, but moreso the easiest to tire out. Don’t get overwhelmed, scope the room out.

Pro tip: Look for someone who is also alone. Getting in with a group that’s already mid-conversation is best reserved for confident networkers. Since we’re doing this to succeed, stick to one person and avoid two people, because they might be having a private conversation.

Once you’ve narrowed in a good target…

1. Bring them to you

Give this person a gentle smile and lift your eyebrows while nodding. These two actions, nodding and lifting eyebrows, give the other person an impression that you two may have met before.

“Perhaps they don’t remember you, but thank goodness you’re there, because now there’s one more person that they know!”

Hold your eye contact and smile. Resist the urge to look away — this urge is your subconscious mind screaming, “What are you doing? We have to get outta here!” Ignore that and keep holding your gaze and smile.

This perfect stranger will now approach you out of curiosity.

Pro tip: Try to do this to someone who looks different than you. If you’re female, use this technique on a male and if you’re male and in a multicultural setting, do this to someone of a different race.

Why? This will prevent people from assuming that you’re having a private conversation, and you’ll attract a large group to your conversation.

3. Let them do the talking

Now that someone has approached you, their first question is probably going to be, “Have we met?” Answer honestly and let them speak if they have something to say. Hand them your business card.

If, based on their business cards, they seem interesting to you, ask them questions based on your natural curiosity, and reciprocate when they ask you something.

If you notice that the conversation is dulling out and you don’t want them to walk on to the next person that they might deem interesting, allow them to do most of the talking. Ask them a question and if they partially answer it, just remain silent and maintain your eye contact. They will continue answering…

This technique will make them think that you’re a really good listener and are genuinely interested in their industry, niche or position.

Seeing two very different people engaged in conversation will pique the interest of someone else, perhaps an extroverted networker, and they might approach you.

If they do, you’re almost home-free!

4. Make the group do most, if not all, of the work

Once you’ve got a good rhythm going, and are now referring to people in your group by their names, allow them to do most of the talking.

If someone tells a joke and everyone in the group starts laughing, whoever that you look at while laughing will build a stronger bond with you, and gain the impression that the two of you are the closest in the group.

You would have made a very strong impression on them, and didn’t have to speak! Allow the new group dynamic to take over.

Being an introvert is not a curse. While others are busy trying to curry one-another’s favor and make impressions, you’re observing and waiting for the perfect opportunity to speak up.

The problem with this approach is that the opportunity may never come.
Networking is about leaving an impression and taking risks.

Don’t let your fears hold you back from participating in a memorable evening!

Photo credit: Edu Lauton

You’ve read 4 Ways To Trick Others Into Thinking That You’re An Extrovert, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading How To Stop Getting Distracted – Once And For All, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Your list of things to do is starting to feel heavy, and there doesn’t seem to be enough time. Everything important seems like it’s being overshadowed by the little interferences. Facebook, Email, Reddit, News feeds – you name it. And it’s all happening on multiple devices.

It’s not that you don’t value the importance of your work, it’s just that pesky online distractions, again and again, seem to kill your momentum. If not that, then it’s the other life interruptions that keep taking you away from what’s significant.

And so, your important work is being left until later…but by that time, you’re feeling lethargic and unmotivated. Especially since you’ve noticed your energy starts to drop just after lunch.

Is there a way of breaking out of this pattern, so that you can finish important work early as early as possible?

The Paradox of Choice and why Site Blocking Extensions aren’t the answer

Conducting meaningful work nowadays is heavily based on using the web to our advantage. We face a multitude of choices when we open up our browser. It’s easy to get lost in a tangle and dabble with our work in-between short bouts of personal web surfing time, especially when we have a whole row of enticing bookmark links.

Numerous tools to block out sites are available nowadays, but it’s very easy to disable them and get back to our old habits. Besides, they subtly popularize the idea of a black and white mindset. Either it’s a world of distraction or a full-on productivity mindset with little to no leeway. Neither of these paths is sustainable in the long-run.

So, what can we do instead?

You need to set Smart Limitations to defend yourself

Most likely, you’ve been in a situation where, upon scanning all the pending emails, you got sucked in and five minutes later, forgot why you even checked your inbox in the first place! Naturally, you want to carefully plan when and how often you check our inbox, social feeds, and bookmarks.

Examples of Smart Limitations:

• I hide my bookmark bar during the first half of the work day.
• I won’t check email in the first hour of the workday.
• I will check Facebook twice per day – once in the morning, and a second time in the evening.
• I will limit myself to one hour blocks of work before taking a break.

“The more of the details of our daily life we can hand over to the effortless custody of automatism, the more our higher powers of mind will be set free for their proper work.” ― Mason Currey, Daily Rituals: How Artists Work

How Smart Limitations Improve Productivity

Smart limitations not only ensure you stick to what you’re working on, but they’re safeguards for your level of focus. Without them, it’s far easier to follow the whimsical fancies of your mind to pull you away from accomplishing meaningful work.

It’s hard to be fulfilled if you don’t accomplish what you set out to do on a given day. This perpetual cycle of self-loathing, annoyance, and guilt – is something you want to avoid. Smart limitations ensure those days come by less often; think of them as your little friends to focus and happiness.

Without set-in-advance limitations, you’ll run amok and follow the path of least resistance. Ironically, resistance to getting the work done is highest when you don’t have any set guidelines on how to get your work done. Going with the flow and being a free spirit with no time bounds has its perks.

But when it comes to getting meaningful work done, it can fail miserably.

How to Implement Smart Limitations

Carefully think about how often you currently check all the websites and apps that have been distracting you. Make a list of them, and write down a rough estimate on the number of times you’re interrupted by each one daily. Your next step is to write how many times ideally you would like to use those sites/services.

Then, keep a log for the first couple of days just to see if you did stick to your new intentions. You most likely won’t fulfill your new smart limitations right away. But with time, you’ll get better at doing so, and the long term results for your productivity, happiness, and focus – will prove to be unbelievably powerful.

If you work on a PC and you’re interested in learning how to improve the way you approach life, read my free book on Spiritual Productivity.

• You’ll learn about how to split up your day into four chunks, so you worry less about external influences.
• You’ll learn about the ‘Playful Time’ technique and other small hacks that will take your productive work on the PC to the next level.
• And much more…

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 Samy Felice is a writer who brings meaning to words. His Free Book explores how to make success easier. 

You’ve read How To Stop Getting Distracted – Once And For All, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading How Physical Clutter Negatively Affects Your Productivity, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Face it – clutter happens anywhere, and it happens to you too. You just can’t resist collecting certain things; whether it had sentimental value or it was expensive so you feel obligated to keep it – either way you’re creating clutter with things you haven’t touched in months or even years. In reality, you don’t need all that stuff – you already read that book and we’re pretty sure you’ll never going to wear that pair of shoes (nope, not even on a special occasion).

Recently there’s been a rise in popularity of ways of increasing productivity – and it’s no wonder because entrepreneurs and business owner all around are looking for ways to get things done as fast and as effective as possible. There are many kinds of methods, from relying on technology to not snoozing your alarm in the morning. But that’s just half of the solution. We have to look around in order to make things better for us and increase productivity.

Clutter Affects Your Life Negatively

It’s true – many researchers have proven to us until now that physical clutter in home or at workplace affects productivity in a negative way. A cluttered desk or office can negatively affect your mood, resilience, and ability to work productively, and disorder creates stress which can cause low mood. Very cluttered homes can provoke emotional and mental distress, mainly because its occupants feel like they have no control over their spaces and therefore lives.

Your ability to focus will is restricted in cluttered environments, as well as your brain’s ability to process information. Clutter makes you distracted and unable to process information as efficiently as you do in an uncluttered, organized, and serene environment. Simply put – clutter competes for your attention, and it may be exhausting to fight and resist it all the time, which increases your annoyance, all the while wearing your mental resources down – ultimately making you frustrated. And of course, there’s nothing more unproductive than a frustrated worker.

Unaddressed clutter can spiral into mental and emotional discontent, as your self-esteem is spiraling down. The effort required to address clutter seems burdensome, but if you avoid facing the clutter, chances are you’ll increase the mess. As it builds, so does your stress levels build; Feeling consistently unproductive negates one of your fundamental psychological needs: competence, a major factor of self-esteem.

Break the Endless Cycle

• Think about your workspace. How many things are piled up on your desk and around you? All those things are the cause of your brain having to work overtime during work day every time you need to focus. As long as you have a messy desk, your productivity won’t see any positive changes. Take some time of the day, skip a few lunches and stay a little longer to dedicate your time to organize your desk better. The main thing is to go through everything you don’t need anymore and stop holding on to it. You will be relieved at how much better your desk will look – which will also give you a motivation boost along with the feeling of accomplishment.
• Clutter isn’t only physical – it can be digital, too. That implies to your computer, phone, and tablet, anything digital you use on a daily basis. Your files, notifications, or better yet anything that comes with a “ping” sound is competing for your attention and you need to take care of it immediately. Your work computer has to be functional and easy to use. How can you be productive if you have to dig through a mountain of files to find what you need? When your brain has too much on its plate, it splits its power up and it results in you doing your job poorly or taking too much time to do it properly.
• Forget about your phone and office, focus on your mind. Your mind can also get cluttered and you have to find ways to get rid of the extra information you don’t need. We often hold onto lists, information, and problems – uselessly crowding our brains with too much thought. Mental clutter is often caused when you clear physical clutter, but don’t necessarily deal with it. This couldn’t be truer for business owners who find themselves multitasking endlessly. For solving this problem try having a mental dump every few days. This translates into creating a to-do list each morning and prioritizing it. It’s impossible to do everything in one day – that’s why you need to keep everything contained and deal with it only when you are ready.
• Ultimately – it all comes from home. An uncluttered home is the best way to start clearing your mind and improving your mental health. It may sound daunting at first, but there are many methods for uncluttering a home which you can take on. You can start room by room, or clear out by categories, whichever you prefer. Sort things into ones you’re going to sell, give away and throw out. Don’t worry about piling things up in your front yard, Pink Junk is the best way to get rid of them, and recycle them, too. Besides, when you sell the things you don’t need, you can earn an extra bit of cash for something like a vacation or a new car.

Staying productive today is one of the main priorities of our society. Clutter, whether physical or digital, is something you’ll always have to deal with, but it can be controlled. By taking a few extra minutes out of our day to organize ourselves physically and mentally, we will find ourselves making up for those minutes when we become more productive.

You’ve read How Physical Clutter Negatively Affects Your Productivity, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 18 Quotes about the Ego to inspire Self-Reflection and Self-Awareness, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Have you ever looked back on your own behavior and thought;

Why the heck did I do that?

Maybe you’d had an argument with a friend or a loved one and you’d overreacted to something that was completely unnecessary. Maybe you were triggered by an old insecurity about relationships or you’re sitting here wondering why you’ve been so hard on yourself at work.

The reason we do these things that sometimes seem out of line with what we feel and believe is because of something that we all have, but that we could do with a lot less of.

The Ego.

In the West, the term ‘ego’ is typically used to refer to your self-concept, or more specifically in a Freudian context, the organized part of the psyche that mediates the drives of the Id and the super-ego. Sometimes we always use ego in a colloquial sense to mean the self of self-importance, usually over other people.

In Eastern philosophy, ego usually means the feeling of I, which is all past karma that may be imprinted in an individual.

Either way, however we define ego, we all know that it’s something that gets in our way. Typically we can agree that reducing our ego is a way forward towards better relationships, a more open attitude, and a healthier sense of self.

However loosening the grip we have on our ego can be difficult in a culture that is focused on inflating the sense of the individual through achievements and rewards, social media accolades and personal narratives.

For this reason, it’s valuable that we take moments to reflect on the ego; what it is and how it harms us, so that in our reflections we may develop a necessary degree of self-awareness.

So without further ado, here are 18 quotes about the ego to inspire self-reflection and self-awareness.

 

“The ego is not master in its own house.” – Sigmund Freud

“Ego is a social fiction for which one person at a time gets all the blame.” – Robert Anton Wilson

“Part of me suspects that I’m a loser, and the other part of me thinks I’m God Almighty.” – John Lennon

“There is nothing that strengthens the ego more than being right!” – Eckhart Tolle

“Your ego is your soul’s worst enemy.” – Rusty Eric

“Ego is to the true self what a flashlight is to a spotlight.” – John Bradshaw

“Anytime there is a struggle between doing what is actually right and doing what seems right, then your ego is interfering with your decision.” – Darren Johnson

“The instinct that pulls us towards art is the impulse to evolve, to learn, to heighten and elevate our consciousness. The Ego hates this. Because the more awake we become, the less we need the Ego.” – Stephen Pressfield

“Love is happy when it is able to give something. The ego is happy when it is able to take something.” – Osho

“When one is without ego, one becomes infinitely free of all personal judgements, and perceives life and the world with divine eyes and mind. Nothing is offensive to them and they remain in perfect serenity and peace always.” – Mooji

“Spiritual practices help us move from identifying with the ego to identifying with the soul. Old age does that for you too. It spiritualizes people naturally.” – Ram Dass

“When ego is lost, limit is lost. You become infinite, kind, beautiful.” – Harbhajan Singh Yogi

“All you need to know and observe in yourself is this: Whenever you feel superior or inferior to anyone, that’s the ego in you.” – Eckhart Tolle

“Have you ever wondered why the slang terms for intoxication are so demolition-oriented? Stoned, smashed, hammered. It’s because they’re talking about the Ego. It’s the Ego that gets blasted, waxed, plastered.” – Steven Pressfield

“If you learn how to make fun of yourself, your ego will go down.” – Nirmala Srivastava

“Your ego is an avid interpreter. It is so quick to interpret events as ‘bad’ or ‘good,’ or ‘right.’ It never fails to see the little picture.” – Robert Holden

“The decision to make the present moment into your friend is the end of the ego.” – Eckhart Tolle

“Egotism is the source and summary of all faults and miseries.” – Thomas Carlyle

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Attention Pick the Brain Readers!

Are you ready to ignite change in your own life?

If so then grab a copy of my free eBook:

MORNING MASTERY: The Simple 20 Minute Routine For Long Lasting Energy, Laser-Sharp Focus, and Stress Free Living

Ben is a freelance writer and the creator of Project Monkey Mind, a blog that looks at Psychology and Spirituality to find practical wisdom for the digital age.

To learn more about the Ego and how one may go about getting rid of it, check out his latest blog post: What is Ego Death?

You’ve read 18 Quotes about the Ego to inspire Self-Reflection and Self-Awareness, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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