Why is it so hard to adopt good habits like everyday exercising or eating healthy food? To answer these questions it is necessary to understand what people in general, are doing wrong when trying to make such changes in their lives.
The most common mistake is that they focus on an overnight success.
For example, John Doe wants to lose weight. At first he is highly motivated, seeing himself as Arnold Schwarzenegger in his best times. In spite of achieving such a huge goal he goes to the gym for the first time and exercises so much, that he develops a muscle fever for next week.
This process repeats a few more times. But the motivation suddenly decreases. John with soreness and inner feelings of disgust spends a weekend watching youtube videos or reading productivity articles to gain the lost motivation. This could help for a while but after some time John is burned out and gives up.
Focusing on motivation simply doesn’t work because it is too unstable. But what to do then? Consciously work on building everyday small routines – your good habits. Exactly like brushing teeth which you naturally do every day.
If there’s someone who can tell us how to stick to good habits and how the whole psychology of people’s daily routines work, it would be behavioral psychology researcher BJ Fogg, professor from Stanford. In his academic research he found out that behind every human habit there is a simple 3-step pattern which our routines follow. This is how it goes:
Example how this pattern works in real-life experience:
You are an occasional smoker. The most common trigger that initiates smoking may be going out to the bar in the evening with friends who smoke. Sitting with a glass of beer and talking with friends who in that moment light their cigarettes makes you light you own (this is your routine). The reward you get is that you satisfy your need for nicotine. In this case accompanied with a feeling of guilt.
Replacing bad routines with good ones
At first you have to find out what the triggers are for your bad habits and then cut out as many of them as possible.
If you eat chocolate bars when you get stressed at work get rid of them all, so you don’t have any on hand. If you permanently waste your time on Facebook or watching YouTube videos instead of working, completely disconnect from the internet if it’s not absolutely necessary for doing your job.
After cutting triggers, substitute the bad habits with good ones with a similar benefit. If you smoke because it relieves stress, try to substitute this behavior with actions that address the same need. For example meditation, deep breathing, exercising, etc.
Creating good new habits and sticking to them
In order to create good new habits that would last, you should follow the 3 R’s pattern. Why? Because it is a natural way how habits arise in human behavior. After some time, it would become a fully automated routine without the need to force yourself doing it.
There are activities you do each day like brushing teeth, taking a shower, having a coffee, eating… or happens to you each day like the phone rings, a commercial comes on TV, etc.
These activities can serve you as reminders for new routines. For example, after drinking morning coffee (reminder) do ten push-ups (routine). After the sound of an email notification on your smartphone do ten squats. The key is to pick which routine suits you best for being the right trigger for your new habit.
Instead of doing drastic changes by taking big quantitative leaps, choose a different attitude. Small improvements, step by step, day by day. Doing a small thing each day won’t hurt, but when they accumulate, they will make a huge difference in your life.
So if you were to do push-ups after your morning coffee, start with just two. It’s almost effortless. After doing 2 push-ups becomes too easy, continue with four, etc. It is easier to complete the behavior with every day small actions, especially on days when motivation lacks.
Reward yourself after each small improvement you achieve. It doesn’t have to be anything huge. Tiny little things like a positive self-talk or a smile in the mirror can serve you as well, because as scientific research has shown, your brain is actually very bad at distinguishing between feeling awesome after doing a huge thing and feeling awesome after doing a tiny thing.
Therefore, celebrating every achievement would overwhelm you with good feelings, help you to gain confidence and makes habits easier to follow.
Tracking your bad and good habits
Tracking your activities till they become your new habits would take some time and practice, but it’s worth the effort. It would help you become aware of your triggers, routines and overall progress. It’s awareness that will show you how to make a change.
Accurately tracking habits will give you ideas for stopping bad habits and empowering the good ones. How do your routines activate? Who are you with? Where are you? What are the triggers that work and what triggers actually don’t? How often do the routines repeat?
It’s a bit of an endless loop. In spite of creating and sticking to new habits you should be tracking them. But tracking them is also a new habit that need to be grown and requires the same discipline and steadiness.
This article covers just the basics. To learn more on how to break this vicious circle of creating a habit of tracking habits we recommend you to read this article – 3 tricks how to keep track of habits
The post 3 Steps To Mastering Your Habits appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.
You have something to say — a story to tell, emotions to stir, imaginations to captivate. But there are obstacles that stand in the way of your success. It’s a lot easier to talk about pursuing your passion than it is to actually do it.
It doesn’t have to be that way. Here are six of the biggest obstacles keeping you from pursuing your passion, and how to overcome them:
Obstacle #1: You don’t have enough time.
We all have the same twenty-four hours in a day. Pursuing what you want in life isn’t a matter of having more time, it’s about focusing on the things that matter.
Consider the 80/20 Rule. If you aren’t familiar, the 80/20 Rule is the observation that most things in life aren’t distributed evenly. Some examples:
20% of the customers create 80% of the profits.
20% of the employees do 80% of the work.
20% of the population own 80% of the wealth.
Think about how this applies to your own life. What things could you work on that will bring you closer to your goals? What tasks are you wasting your time on?
It’s easy to get caught up in the minutiae of everyday life. Making progress on your goals requires focusing on the “big wins.” Everything else can wait.
If you find yourself wondering how to prioritize, ask yourself, “Will I regret not doing this tomorrow?”
If the answer is yes, move it to the top of your list.
Obstacle #2: You need more money.
There’s a ton of advice out there on how to manage your money, but this one in particular has stuck with me through the years: pay yourself first.
I saved up six months worth of expenses before I left my job as a psychotherapist to pursue blogging and photography. I did this by having 15% of each paycheck automatically transferred into my savings account, before I could spend any of it.
Try this out for yourself. Decide in advance how much you want to have transferred to your bank each payday, then set it up so that it happens automatically. Before you know it, you’ll have saved up a substantial amount of money without even having to think about it.
A little caveat though: It’s easy to fantasize how having more money would be the cure to your creative woes. But the truth is, you don’t need a big bank account to get your ideas off the ground. Forget about paying big bucks to afford Facebook advertising, or shelling out top dollar for the fanciest camera on the market so you can learn photography. Sometimes you just have to work with what you’ve got.
Remember, having money is often a result of success, not the other way around. By all means, take control of your finances and start building a foundation. But don’t let a lack of funds keep you from getting things done.
Obstacle #3: You don’t have enough ideas.
Sometimes the well runs dry. You sit down to work on your ideas and can’t seem to come up with anything. It happens to the best of us.
So how do you reignite the creative spark?
Get out there in the world and live.
Do things. Explore. Hang out with motivated people. When these areas are firing on all cylinders, creative synergy begins to form — ideas start to flow, and you find yourself connecting the dots in ways you never did before. When this happens, don’t forget to write things down. Ideas are fleeting. That’s why it’s important to keep a list of them when they’re fresh in your mind.
If all else fails, become a fan again. When I’m lacking in creativity, I like to indulge in the works of other artists who inspire me to pursue my craft; writers, painters, musicians, filmmakers, and athletes.
Read a book. Watch a movie. Listen to music and let yourself get lost in the melody. Sometimes we need to be on the receiving end of art to remind ourselves of what we’re aiming for as artists.
Obstacle #4: You’re going it alone.
Doing creative work can be a lonely process. Sometimes isolation can improve productivity. Other times, it just plain sucks.
The good news? It’s never been easier to connect with other creative people.
Recently I came across an article I really enjoyed and decided to reach out to the author. I contacted her on Twitter telling her how much I appreciated her work and suggested that we collaborate. She replied, and we ended up having a brainstorming session on Google Hangout. Now we’re planning on guest posting on each other’s blogs, and we catch up regularly to see how we’re both doing with our creative projects.
Use technology to your advantage. Search conversations on Twitter that are relevant to you and add your two cents. Give feedback, share your experience, and offer to team up with other people.
Remember, no man is an island. There’s nothing like having the support and encouragement of your peers. Offer to collaborate with someone who’s doing similar work to you. You never know who you’ll end up meeting.
Obstacle #5: You’re plagued with self-doubt.
“I’m not good enough.”
Four dangerous words powerful enough to kill anyone’s dreams of success.
Most creatives make the mistake of underestimating their unique voice. They assume they have to be the world’s greatest at their craft, or that their idea has to be completely original, and if it isn’t, it’s not worth pursuing.
Think about how many fitness experts there are in the world. How about financial gurus or yoga masters? There are millions. Are they all the world’s best? Do they all have original ideas?
Of course not.
Building a following isn’t about being world-renowned at what you do. It’s about you, the person behind the art, and why people should care.
So give people a reason to care. Be authentic. Tell a story. Create something of value. In a world where so many people follow trends, blaze your own path and do something different. That’s ultimately what will set you apart.
Obstacle #6: Your work isn’t getting the attention it deserves.
Being an artist means being vulnerable. It means being unafraid to put your work out there in the world.
Remember, sometimes it’s not about the result, but the process.
Recently I made it a point to take photos every day and post at least one of them on social media, along with a description of how I took the photo. The feedback was enormous; people asked me all kinds of questions, like what equipment I used and what techniques I employed to capture the shot.
Suddenly, creating art didn’t mean merely posting a photo and calling it a day. It was about engaging with my followers and offering them a glimpse into the creative process.
Final Thoughts
Don’t let these obstacles hold you back from success. You have more control than you think. Commit to taking action and stay the path; your dreams are worth it.
Kevin is the founder of People Passionate – a blog dedicated to helping others pursue their creative ideas. You can download his free guide here: Stop Dreaming and Start Doing: How to Actually Do What You Love. Connect with him on Twitter @ppl_passionate.
The post 6 Obstacles Keeping You From Pursuing Your Passion (and How to Overcome Them) appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.
Anxiety disorders all have acute fear and/or nervousness as the predominant symptom. They are disturbingly common, affecting millions of people. Generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, panic attacks and separation anxiety all come under the collective umbrella term. The reason for anxiety disorders is not agreed, however, they could be causedby differences in brain circuits that regulate fear and extreme emotions. The brain has elasticity; trauma, or long-lasting stress, can affect the activity in our brains. Neuroplasticity means that there are ways to help alleviate (and sometimes eliminate) the symptoms of anxiety disorders.
Here are ten suggestions to help you on your road to recovery:
Seek medical advice – Medications, sometimes, ease the symptoms. However, they are not a cure. GoodGP’s will refer you for talking therapies, or provide you with information on support groups, also. Be careful if choosing to take medication. Take in accordance with guidelines. Be aware of side effects.Be wary of any that are addictive.
See an alternative health practitioner– Many people turn to complementary heath practitioners, especially if they are not comfortable with Western medicines. Acupuncture can be effective for lessoning symptoms of anxiety. Studies show solution focused hypnotherapy can be as productive as a course of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
See a Psychotherapist – Psychotherapy is a supported way of working through unresolved traumas, or stresses. The space created by a great therapist is safe and contained, encouraging you to explore and reflect upon your feelings. Psychotherapy aids in understanding, and managing, particular triggers and helps you develop resilience and coping strategies.
Practice Mindfulness – Mindfulness is proven to significantly calm symptoms. Mindfulness encourages knowledge of the mind, soothes thoughts and brings oneself into the present moment (where we are distracted from our fears). Mindfulnesswill also help manage the physiological reactions in the body that occur when we are anxious and afraid.
Meditate –Ten minutes a day of deep breathing can be effective. If your mind is racing, and you feel restless at first, don’t think you are ‘doing it wrong’. By sitting quietly, and focusing on your breath, you will notice the endless chatter, and become reflective about the stories that your mind tells. By slowing your breathing, your nervous system re-sets into a calmer state of being. You can use this technique at any time.
Spend time in nature – There is a life force evident in the natural environment that is more powerful and profound than us, and our worried minds. Being in nature is restorative and calming. We are not bombarded with stimulants, or activities, that can provoke agitation. It creates a feeling of space that expands our awareness, takes us out of the nuances of our daily lives, and into a sense that there is something bigger than us, and our problems. Fresh air increases oxygen in the body and enhances well-being.
Diet and Nutrition – Diet is essentialto the balance of the body. As many hormones are created in the gut, and then send messages to the brain, our physical health and the food we eat has a direct impact on our mental health. Avoid completely caffeinated products, or other stimulants such as sugar and nicotine. Instead, introduce foods that are high in B and D vitamins. Eat oily fish and leafy greens at least three times a week.
Exercise – Exercise instantaneously changes mood and encourages long-term health and confidence. Cortisol levels (a hormone associated with stress) are highest in the morning. A twenty-minute stint, not long after waking, will do you wonders. If that is difficult at first, try twenty minutes, three to five times a week. Mix cardiovascular exercisewith low impact stretching. Find something you enjoy. Exercise will release endorphins and ease tension.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy –Referrals can be made by doctors; work -books are online. CBT changes the troublesome neural pathways by challenging you to think about your fear and anxiety in different ways. It encourages new thought patterns, and goal setting, to transform the way you relate to the world. CBT is practical. You have exercises and strategies to use whenever you need them.
Support groups –Support from peers is powerful. This can be a good way to face some fears, gently, and at your own pace, in order to overcome them. The group will offer you understanding and encouragement in a non-judgmental way. It’s beneficial to know that you are not alone with your illness.
Deep breathing –During moments of increasing panic, or high agitation, try putting one hand on your stomach and taking some long, deepbreaths. This can be done anywhere. You want to de-activate the ‘fight or flight’ system, which believes you’re in danger. Taking slow, calming breaths will activate the parasympathetic nervous system. This is our basic, resting state. We want to encourage this often.
Muscle relaxation – There is a feedback loop between the mind and body. When highly anxious, your body responds by preparing itself for ‘fight or flight’. Blood flows to your muscles preparing them for battle. Release tension by clenching your muscles really hard. Then let go. You can also shake –seriously! Shaking your whole body loosens muscles and releases trauma and trapped emotion.
This post is contributed by Ron McDiarmid, who is the founder of My Healthy Living Coach. Having had health challenges along the way Ron was keen to share the research and learning he gathered. Through MHLC this continued into a current presentation of healthy lifestyle choices and how to implement them. Check out his website at http://ift.tt/1xvlA3J.
The post 10 Ways to Help If You Suffer From an Anxiety Disorder appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.
Anxiety disorders all have acute fear and/or nervousness as the predominant symptom. They are disturbingly common, affecting millions of people. Generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, panic attacks and separation anxiety all come under the collective umbrella term. The reason for anxiety disorders is not agreed, however, they could be causedby differences in brain circuits that regulate fear and extreme emotions. The brain has elasticity; trauma, or long-lasting stress, can affect the activity in our brains. Neuroplasticity means that there are ways to help alleviate (and sometimes eliminate) the symptoms of anxiety disorders.
Here are ten suggestions to help you on your road to recovery:
Seek medical advice – Medications, sometimes, ease the symptoms. However, they are not a cure. GoodGP’s will refer you for talking therapies, or provide you with information on support groups, also. Be careful if choosing to take medication. Take in accordance with guidelines. Be aware of side effects.Be wary of any that are addictive.
See an alternative health practitioner– Many people turn to complementary heath practitioners, especially if they are not comfortable with Western medicines. Acupuncture can be effective for lessoning symptoms of anxiety. Studies show solution focused hypnotherapy can be as productive as a course of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
See a Psychotherapist – Psychotherapy is a supported way of working through unresolved traumas, or stresses. The space created by a great therapist is safe and contained, encouraging you to explore and reflect upon your feelings. Psychotherapy aids in understanding, and managing, particular triggers and helps you develop resilience and coping strategies.
Practice Mindfulness – Mindfulness is proven to significantly calm symptoms. Mindfulness encourages knowledge of the mind, soothes thoughts and brings oneself into the present moment (where we are distracted from our fears). Mindfulnesswill also help manage the physiological reactions in the body that occur when we are anxious and afraid.
Meditate –Ten minutes a day of deep breathing can be effective. If your mind is racing, and you feel restless at first, don’t think you are ‘doing it wrong’. By sitting quietly, and focusing on your breath, you will notice the endless chatter, and become reflective about the stories that your mind tells. By slowing your breathing, your nervous system re-sets into a calmer state of being. You can use this technique at any time.
Spend time in nature – There is a life force evident in the natural environment that is more powerful and profound than us, and our worried minds. Being in nature is restorative and calming. We are not bombarded with stimulants, or activities, that can provoke agitation. It creates a feeling of space that expands our awareness, takes us out of the nuances of our daily lives, and into a sense that there is something bigger than us, and our problems. Fresh air increases oxygen in the body and enhances well-being.
Diet and Nutrition – Diet is essentialto the balance of the body. As many hormones are created in the gut, and then send messages to the brain, our physical health and the food we eat has a direct impact on our mental health. Avoid completely caffeinated products, or other stimulants such as sugar and nicotine. Instead, introduce foods that are high in B and D vitamins. Eat oily fish and leafy greens at least three times a week.
Exercise – Exercise instantaneously changes mood and encourages long-term health and confidence. Cortisol levels (a hormone associated with stress) are highest in the morning. A twenty-minute stint, not long after waking, will do you wonders. If that is difficult at first, try twenty minutes, three to five times a week. Mix cardiovascular exercisewith low impact stretching. Find something you enjoy. Exercise will release endorphins and ease tension.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy –Referrals can be made by doctors; work -books are online. CBT changes the troublesome neural pathways by challenging you to think about your fear and anxiety in different ways. It encourages new thought patterns, and goal setting, to transform the way you relate to the world. CBT is practical. You have exercises and strategies to use whenever you need them.
Support groups –Support from peers is powerful. This can be a good way to face some fears, gently, and at your own pace, in order to overcome them. The group will offer you understanding and encouragement in a non-judgmental way. It’s beneficial to know that you are not alone with your illness.
Deep breathing –During moments of increasing panic, or high agitation, try putting one hand on your stomach and taking some long, deepbreaths. This can be done anywhere. You want to de-activate the ‘fight or flight’ system, which believes you’re in danger. Taking slow, calming breaths will activate the parasympathetic nervous system. This is our basic, resting state. We want to encourage this often.
Muscle relaxation – There is a feedback loop between the mind and body. When highly anxious, your body responds by preparing itself for ‘fight or flight’. Blood flows to your muscles preparing them for battle. Release tension by clenching your muscles really hard. Then let go. You can also shake –seriously! Shaking your whole body loosens muscles and releases trauma and trapped emotion.
This post is contributed by Ron McDiarmid, who is the founder of My Healthy Living Coach. Having had health challenges along the way Ron was keen to share the research and learning he gathered. Through MHLC this continued into a current presentation of healthy lifestyle choices and how to implement them. Check out his website at http://ift.tt/1xvlA3J.
The post 10 Ways to Help If You Suffer From an Anxiety Disorder appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.
I read a great article over at Oliver Pemberton’s Blog He wrote an article about how to reveal your innermost thoughts in the space of 5 minutes.
I think this game highlights just how much we live in our subconscious minds and how the subconscious controls us without us ever realising it. However there are ways to reach the subconscious mind, which I’ll discuss over the coming weeks.
I thought this was really interesting and would be great to share here on the blog, so here goes with this interesting game:
I want you to imagine a desert, stretching out as far as your eyes can see. In this desert is a cube.
Your first task is to describe the cube. What does it look like? How large is it? What is it made of? Where exactly is it?
There are no right answers here, only your answers. Take a moment before you continue – the detail is important.
As you look at the desert and your cube, you notice there is also a ladder. Your second task (there are just five) is to describe the ladder. What is it made of? How big is it? Where is it, in relation to the cube?
Now imagine that in the scene there is a horse. (Yes, horse. I didn’t say this desert made sense). Your third task: describe the horse. Most importantly: where is the horse, and what is it doing? Where, if anywhere, is it going?
We’re nearly there now. In the scene before you are flowers. Your penultimate task: describe the flowers. How many are there? What do they look like? Where are they, in relation to the horse, cube, ladder and sand?
Final question. In the desert there is a storm. Describe the storm. What type of storm is it? Is it near, or far? What direction is it headed? Does it affect the horse, flowers, cube or ladder?
If you’ve been playing along, this is going to be fun. If you didn’t, I must warn you: the next part ruins your ability to play this game ever again. If you won’t want to ruin it forever, go back now. Trust me.
Ready? There’s no going back.
The size is ostensibly your ego: a large cube means you’re pretty sure of yourself, a small cube less so.
The vertical placement of the cube is how grounded you are. Resting on the sand? You’re probably pretty down to earth. Floating in the sky? Your head is in the clouds.
The cube’s material conveys how open you are: transparent cubes belong to transparent people, opaque cubes are more protective of their minds. Glowing? You’re likely a positive person, who aims to raise the spirits of others. Made of granite? You’re likely protective and resilient.
The trick here is that when asked to describe a blank, abstract entity – a cube – your imagination will tend to project its own identity onto it. This trick is as old as time, but it’s about to get more interesting.
Are your friends leaning on the cube? Your friends depend on you, and are close. Is the ladder frail, or robust? Tall or short? Does it lead inside the cube? Or is it cast to one side, lying unloved on the sand? By now you should be able to draw your own conclusions.
The type of horse reveals a lot about what you yearn for in a partner. Some people see a steady brown workhorse, others a shining pegasus or unicorn. Make of these people what you will.
Is your horse nuzzling your cube affectionately, or taking a bite out of it? Is it far from your cube, or walking away? This can represent a current partner, or an aspirational one, but the results are often a mix of touching and hilarious.
The number of flowers relates to how many you imagine having. Some people see just a single, withered daisy; others a resplendent garden covering the cube and desert beneath. (Guys: watch out for those).
The colour and vitality of the flowers can speak to their health and presumed prosperity. The placement – particularly in relation to the cube – can reveal interesting relations; I met one woman whose horse was eating their flowers.
This speaks to the current state of the person, and how they perceive risk in their life. Some may see a distant storm, on the lip of the horizon, fading from sight. Others may view themselves in the midst of a thunderous apocalypse, hailstones the size of tennis balls pelting their fragile cube and horse. Chances are those people have some immediate trauma in their life.
Obviously this is just a little bit of fun and is not a true psychological tests, but it is interesting nonetheless.
How did you get on? leave a comment below and let us know.
Source:
http://ift.tt/1aobsbB
The post A 5 Minute Test That Will Reveal Your Innermost Thoughts appeared first on Change your thoughts.
The storyteller in our heads is so used to being judgmental, cruel and even vicious, telling us not only that we did something wrong (this is guilt), but that we are bad and wrong (this is shame). And it influences our lives from underneath our everyday awareness, keeping us cut off from the vast and healing regions of our own hearts. I used to have an extremely cruel judger inside of me and as I began to be curious about it, listening to what it was saying, I discovered that the judger never sees things clearly.
There are 3 things that can help you to unhook from the voices of guilt and shame:
1. Relate to, not from, your shame
It helps to understand that Life is in charge of Life. Life puts you in situations to help you see your shame and all of the other states, so you can learn to relate to them rather than from them. So, how can you relate to these stories and begin to heal your shame? By being curious about what is here rather than trying to change, numb or bury the feelings. The healing you long for happens when you can be with what is. It is not easy, especially feelings of shame, because the stories in your head can be very seductive. Your unconscious mind really and truly believes that you are only okay if you do life perfectly. Of course, perfectly is a very relative position. Perfect to one person is not perfect to another. The more you wake up, the more you see that everything is exactly as it needs to be. It is never about what is going on at the surface. It is always about what is going on underneath.
2. Be curious and compassionate with the judger
Judging has been a key part of your survival system. You were conditioned to think this way when you were very young. You can learn to be curious by asking the question, “What does this bring up inside of me?” and then you can bring compassion to the parts that need your attention right now. “Oh, the judger is here. I see you. You are the one who believes I am doing it wrong (or I am wrong).” The only power the judger has over you is when you think it is the voice of truth. But it is not. You can learn how to see this judging quality in your head rather than believing what it is saying. You can even move beyond judging this judger!
As you become curious, you can learn to unhook from these states, or what I call spells. The next time something happens in your life that brings up feelings of shame, ask yourself the question, “What are the stories that my shame voice is believing right now?” Remember, it is a process. In discovering the phenomenal healing power of being curious and compassionate , you will have access to it and then you forget, and then you remember at a deeper level and you forget, and you go to an even deeper level of remembering and then you forget, only to remember again. That is how life teaches us.
3. Tune into your body and feel the shame
You have probably buried most of your shame your entire adult life and have tried to pretend it doesn’t exist, or in some cases, you may not even be aware it exists. But it does. As you are awakening, Life is bringing you very uncomfortable experiences for a reason. They are tailor-made for you, custom-designed so that your feelings will come out of hiding and you can say “I see you.” When this happens, tune into your body and ask yourself, “Where in my body do I feel the shame? Is it in my belly?” Say hello to the tight belly and soften. Put your hand gently on your belly and say, “I see you.” If it is in your neck, back, or shoulders, give these tight, uncomfortable places your attention. Maybe even give them a little massage now and then. Be gentle with yourself. These are moments of healing.
The next time something happens in your life that brings up feelings of shame, ask yourself this question, “How can I be with this feeling right now?” And then say hello to the one who feels he/she is bad and wrong.
Image – Leaded Glass Panel by Seattle Artist Paula Stokes (in collaboration with Eric Mead) www.paulastokes.com
The post 3 Ways To Heal Your Shame appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.
