It feels so easy to say, yet so hard to do. ‘Just be happy!’ – If only it were that simple.

The truth is, however, it actually is that simple…if you’re willing to do the work. People nowadays assume that happiness and feeling good is a right – but it’s not – it’s a privilege, and just like getting good marks in school or performing well in your career, the harder you work at feeling good – the happier you will be. The key to this is determining what makes you happy/feel good, so even though you’re working hard towards something, you can also have fun along the way.

1. Get Moving

It may feel obvious but exercise is single handedly one of the best ways to get yourself turned around. Not only does exercise help burn fat and calories and get you looking better on the outside, the internal health benefits are off the charts. A lot of times, what prevents us from working out, is it feels like such a long road to success and the idea of starting such a process feels daunting. It is true, to really change your physical appearance it will take a long time and a well thought out plan, BUT there are immediate benefits to physical activities that happen literally as soon as you start to get your heart rate up – the biggest being the release of endorphins which interact with your brain. The result? A ‘trigger of positive feelings’, which result in a reduction of anxiety and depression as well as improved sleep and an increase of energy.

So whether it’s plotting a full scale work out regime with goals attached, to making a daily commitment to do some physical activity (i.e. taking a brisk walk) to just making small tweaks on your daily choices (i.e. take the stairs instead of the escalator, if you sit at a desk – stand an move around at least 5 minutes for every hour)….

Want to feel better about yourself right away? GET MOVING.

2. Stay Still

Ok, I know this feels like the counterintuitive to the first tip, but really it’s not. Everything in life has a yin to it’s yang and just as it’s so important to get moving, keep active, burn calories and fire up those endorphins, so too is it important to relax and rest.

Here’s the thing – I mean REALLY relax or rest. I don’t mean lie on your couch, watching television while snap chatting (@erinfalconer !) and responding to emails. This isn’t relaxing -this is called non-productive lethargy. Your mind isn’t relaxed at all. Resting your mind is so crucial to being able to be in peak performance shape. Running on fully charged batteries gives you endless energy – and you know what that, in turn, delivers? Happiness and feeling good about yourself!

It is imperative to let your mind recalibrate on a daily basis – and for that you need, distraction-free silence and calm. Sound impossible? Only if you make it so.

I am a huge fan of meditation – 15-20 minutes in the morning and afternoon. I’ve been doing it for 16 months now and it is incredible the difference. I feel lighter, happier, more focused, way calmer and have more energy. Total time 30-40 mins a day. Feel like too much? How bad do you want to feel better? Start slowly – 5 minutes in the a.m., 5 minutes in the p.m. – I guarantee you will only want to do more.

Besides meditation – simply taking quiet, uninterrupted time for yourself is a must. Take a hot bath, read a book, get a massage – find a way, once a day to get some peace, for renewed energy and happiness.

Want to feel better about yourself right away? STAY STILL.

3. Stop. Eating. Crap.

For me, this is probably the most important point both for immediate and long term benefits. It’s simple – stop putting crap in your body and you will stop feeling like crap. Let me be blunt: there is no loophole, no way around this, no other way to look at it – it just is what it is. Eat an apple – provide yourself with energy and a body that functions seamlessly. Know what that does? Makes you feel good. Eat a chocolate bar – which is difficult to break down and spikes your insulin, which zaps your energy, leaves you feeling terrible about your choice and makes you feel physically and emotionally bad.

So why is this so hard for so many of us? 2 reasons:

A: we haven’t committed to making the right choices – without this, there’s no reason to keep reading.

B: there is an influx of marketing and bad food choices all around us, 24/7. When you’re short on time, running around like a chicken with your head cut off, and hungry – it’s a recipe for disaster.

So what’s the solution?

A: commit to better choices. PERIOD.

doesn’t matter if it’s harder – how bad do you want to feel good?

B: Plan

Everybody is so busy all of the time, that for a while eating out or picking up food felt like the beset option. The problem is, when you eat out, you really don’t know what you’re eating. One of the greatest things about the internet, for me, is that it allows me to do things that simply weren’t possible before – and one of the biggest areas of impact is my own health.

Food health info is just a click away, but now – there is something even cooler. A good friend put me on to an online food service called: Blue Apron. I can get fresh produce (the exact amounts I need, so there is no waste), and delicious, chef-designed recipes that use all of the produce sent. All of the ingredients are farm fresh, sourced from quality suppliers and artisans, delivered to my door once a week. Not only does that take care of a good chunk of the planning part – what I love about it, is that it is also teaching me new skills in the kitchen, in a very little amount of time.

How does it work? Blue Apron is available nationwide (shipping to over 80% of the country – map here). You simply sign up, make your food preference selections and how often you’d like to receive and voila, your ingredients appear in a refrigerated box, once a week! New recipes are featured each week, so you never get bored and are opened up to a whole new way of eating – and all meals can be prepared in under 40 minutes.

The best part? It is so affordable. Honestly, i was super impressed with the pricing. Full gourmet meals starting at $8.75 per person – we’re talking Salmon and filet here. It can’t be beat. Last week I made an incredible Dukkah Spiced Salmon with Spring Vegetables & Oyster Mushroom Ragout as well as a Three Pea & Barley Miso Ramen – delicious!

What is the coolest part of this whole concept: I believe in it so much, that the First 100 readers will get two free meals on their first Blue Apron order! Simply click here to get started!

Want to feel better about yourself right away? Stop. Eating. Crap.

Now there really is no excuse! Get moving. Sit Still. Eat Well.

———

*Sponsored by Blue Apron

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Roshan Thomas was one of the first employees at Tesla, joining the upstart electric car company in 2001. Across from him sat CEO Elon Musk, a tall, energetic engineer who described his dream of replacing the internal combustion engine with a global fleet of electric cars.

He asked Musk whether taking on a problem that automotive giants with their billions of research dollars had failed to solve was too ambitious. The CEO answered that he looked at only two things before embarking on anything. First, can it be done? Are we breaking any laws of physics by doing this? Second, is it important enough for humanity that it would make a major dent? If the answer to 1 and 2 is ‘yes,’ then he would move forward.

Musk describes this approach to problem solving as “First-Principles” Thinking. It is a thought process that allows a designer to innovate in clear leaps instead of incremental gains. With first-principles thinking, an innovator begins at the most fundamental truths and reasons up from there.

Such an approach has allowed Musk to do unprecedented things with the Tesla Model S. Musk is obsessed with each car being perfect. He has told his teams that he wants the cars to be so accurate that they could be used as a calibration device. If he wanted to know how long a meter was, he could measure the car. This approach to design comes from the design book for rocket design, which he uses for his rocket firm SpaceX.

“This is very extreme for the car business, but for the rocket business it is not, so from my standpoint, when people say you can’t do that, it’s like, ‘I do that every day. What are you talking about? I know it’s possible.’ We’re trying to take the precision of rockets, where fractions of a millimeter can mean the difference between success and failure. We’re applying rocket science to the car business. If you want to make the best car, that’s what you have to do.”

Musk is not the first person to apply first-principles thinking to problem solving. Aristotle said 2,300 years ago that approaching first principles is the key to doing any kind of systematic inquiry. Another ancient Greek inventor also applied this thinking – Archimedes.

Archimedes was the Elon Musk of his day, building technology centuries ahead of his time and discovering scientific proofs that were not rediscovered until the time of Newton. He was such a genius inventor that Roman chroniclers claimed he built a primitive laser out of an array of mirrors. Its bursts of solar energy burned down an entire enemy naval fleet.

Archimedes lived in the city-state of Syracuse, a Mediterranean backwater with little access to technological tools or written works that he could use to carry on his studies. Despite his isolation, Archimedes’s aggressive adherence to logic allowed him to make big discoveries.

Many of Archimedes’s inventions are still in use today: the compound pulley is still the basic mechanical feature of an elevator. He invented a screw that moved water uphill and catapults that defended Syracuse from Roman invaders. He was the first scientist to apply abstract mathematical principles to the world around him.

The third inventor to use first-principles thinking is Thomas Edison. He achieved similar levels of productivity as Musk and Archimedes. He was arguably the most prolific inventor in all of history, with 1,093 patents to his name. His lab in Menlo Park, New Jersey, churned out a minor invention every 10 days and a big thing every six months or so.

While many of Edison’s most famous inventions were more practical versions of things that already existed (such as the light bulb), he applied first-principles thinking to come up with original designs, such as the phonograph. While other inventors had already made devices that recorded sounds, Edison’s invention was the first to reproduce the recorded sound.

The phonograph took nearly a decade to bring to the market. He first conceived of the idea in the 1870s of turning electromagnetic waves into speech. Edison first used grooved paper disks or spools of paper tape. Edison eventually settling on a tinfoil disk. But tinfoil was so delicate it could only be played once or twice before becoming unusable.

Edison spent 10 years testing every substance imaginable until settling on the wax cylinder. His invention spread rapidly and became the dominant audio recording format for most of the 20^th century.

Being a first-order inventor meant having every conceivable material on hand in order to test any theory. Edison’s laboratory materials supply items included over 8,000 kinds of chemicals, every size of needle, every kind of screw made, every kind of cord or wire. It also included hair of humans, horses, hogs, cows, rabbits, goats, minx, camels, silk in every texture, cocoons, ostrich feathers, and even a peacock’s tail.

Whether you are an ancient Greek scientist like Archimedes, an American tinkerer like Thomas Edison, or a CEO of a rocket ship firm like Elon Musk, first-principles thinking can help you overcome problems in a completely different way than those around you.

Michael Rank is a doctoral candidate in history. He is the author of 12 books and host of the History in Five Minutes Podcast. His most recent book is The Most Productive People in History: 18 Extraordinarily Prolific Inventors, Artists, and Entrepreneurs, From Archimedes to Elon Musk

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We all have feelings. That’s obvious. But did you know there’s no such thing a wrong feeling?

Has someone ever told you you’re not allowed to feel what you’re feeling? Maybe. Have you ever told anyone they’re not allowed to feel what they’re feeling? Perhaps.

BUT have you ever told yourself you’re not allowed to feel what you’re feeling? I guarantee it. AND you do it WAY more often than you even realize.

As humans making our way through our lives, going about our business, and doing the best we can with what we’ve got, we sure seem to have this thing with kicking ourselves when we’re down.

When’s the last time you felt mad, sad, bad, angry, jealous, depressed, lonely, anxious, worried, scared, or vulnerable? Think about it for a second. And then think about what was going through your mind – what were you thinking when you were feeling one of above said emotions?

You may not know right off the bat, but I will bet, no, I can almost guarantee you were thinking to yourself something like: “you’re so weak! How can you let yourself feel this way?” or “You’re pathetic. No one else let’s themselves get in to an emotional state like this!” or “What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you keep it together!” or some other really encouraging, uplifting, and compassionate phrase.

To be fair, many of us do believe in earnest that we can whip ourselves in to a calm, peaceful, and balanced emotional state by criticizing and berating ourselves to no end. It is kind of how our society works: use punishment in order to keep the people in line.

Unfortunately that doesn’t work with our emotions – and I’m not even sure it’s the best way to run a society either. It’s almost like saying you can scream and yell at a crying child to get them to snap out of it and be happy. Pretty harsh Julia, but it’s true.

So now that we’re more aware that we tend to get all nasty with ourselves for feeling bad, mad, sad, angry, guilty, or depressed AND it doesn’t actually make us feel any better, what are we to do?

Let’s say a good friend came to you and said they were feeling really down, low, worried, scared or anxious – how would you respond to them? Something like: “You’re pathetic!” or “Stop being such a baby!” Oh man I sure hope not.

So then why do we think it’s okay to say things like that to ourselves?

What would you actually say to a close friend who was struggling? Why not try responding to yourself in the same way? You deserve to be treated at least half decently too.

It’s really important that we learn to take better care of ourselves – because let’s face it – we’re the only one of us we’ve got.

It’s okay to feel what we’re feeling. I’ve learned there aren’t actually any wrong feelings. We may not like what we’re feeling, but that’s okay, and it’s normal – life is not always pleasant. And that’s just a fact.

And by both giving ourselves the freedom and compassion to feel what we’re feeling, and also working on treating ourselves in the same way we would a close friend who was struggling, those unpleasant feelings really won’t stay around very long, AND they won’t be nearly as intense as they were when we were unknowingly making ourselves feel bad simply for feeling bad.

 Julia Kristina is a Mental Health Therapist who lives in beautiful Vancouver, BC, Canada. She runs a vibrant clinical counselling practice, is a speaker, workshop facilitator, blogger, and recovered ‘Friends’ junkie. In her spare time she likes to power walk, power talk, and power drill. You can read and see more from Julia Kristina on her Good For Me Blog.

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Our hearts and minds are filled with a lifetime of memories – both good and bad. But, for some reason, instead of savoring the good memories, many of us just dwell on the bad ones.

Well, that needs to stop. Accepting the hurt from your past, and then moving on, is a healthy way to sort out your feelings of unrest. I have first-hand knowledge of what it’s like to dwell on the negative memories that haunt your daily life.

I grew up in a relatively large family – I was the youngest of four kids. Overall, my childhood was very nice. My mother was a compassionate and loving woman. My siblings treated me like an adored baby brother. And my father was an excellent provider. But he also had an extreme anger problem, which resulted in sporadic verbal and physical abuse.

He was a police officer, who had difficulty handling stress. He would get overwhelmed with his job and raising a family. In his heart, my dad only wanted what was best for us. But, he let that anger out too many times, and in too many inappropriate ways. He had a rough childhood. His father was not a pleasant man. Luckily, he also had a great mother. She balanced him, as did my mother after they got married.

Those memories of being hit very hard, and being insulted in a nasty manner, have always haunted me. In the past, if I felt slighted or disrespected in any way, the inner beast would get fired up. Fortunately, I have never been physical. I have never hit anyone. But, the anger I felt was real. And deep. I needed to change. So I did.

Not everyone who suffers from anger issues has had the same experiences I did. We are all unique people with diverse backgrounds. But, regardless, of what road led you to your anger, you can still change direction. It’s never too late.

Anger is a disease that eats away at your soul and spreads to those whose lives you touch. So, here’s five things you can do to keep your anger under control.

5. Stop pretending you’re OK.

If you are constantly agitated, and it only takes the slightest thing to propel into you a tailspin of anger. Then, you have an anger issue that needs to be resolved. It is not healthy to feel that way. Or act that way. For you. And for everyone else that you encounter. Look yourself in the mirror and finally admit to yourself that you are not okay, and a change is needed.

4. Find a “peaceful” role model.

This may seem like an odd thing to do. But, trust me. It works. If you are an angry person, I know you’re aware of people in your life that you admire for their calm and peaceful demeanor. Learn from them. Watch them handle stress and pressure. Now, I am not saying being a copycat. Rather, just like anything in life – learn from the masters.

3.  Release the aggression (constructively)

You must find a way to let out that beast within. Exercise is, of course, an amazing way to release that extra tension. I personally love to hike. It really calms me down, and keeps me in good spirits. Also, another way to release your angst is through a creative outlet, like writing, drawing, photography, etc. I have been doing stand-up comedy for the past two years, and it is such a rush to get up on stage and make people laugh. I feel so relaxed afterward.  I am not saying you have to become a stand-up comedian, but you do have to find a way to release your anger in a constructive way.

2. Forgive the person who wronged you.

This may be the most difficult thing to do – in life. Seriously. Forgiveness is a monumental task, and an even larger accomplishment. Once you forgive, you take back the power from the wrong-doer. I used to think this whole forgiveness theory was a bunch of bull, and some cliché that has been perpetuated by the people who seek forgiveness. But, it’s not BS. It really works. Try it.

1. Laugh. A lot. 

This one is my favorite. And the easiest to accomplish. The first step is to be able to laugh at yourself. Stop taking yourself so seriously. Once you can do that, the sky’s the limit. People who can laugh at themselves live 20 years longer than those who cannot. OK, I just made-up that statistic. But, you get my point.

The key to all of this is accepting your past and resolving to change your old way of approaching things.  I wish you luck in your pursuit for inner peace.

——–

Kevin is a writer, attorney, comedian and photographer. He hosts a blog at kevinhotter.com, the aim of which is to inspire, motivate and entertain the world. 

 

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You step on a treadmill and get into a groove after a long day at work. Thoughts of your looming to-do list might be racing through your head. Or maybe you’re stressing about family or financial issues. And before you know it, you’ve forgotten you’re even there, pounding away on that rubber strip like a mindless robot.

Like most people, you probably want to take your mind far away from the excruciatingly slow-ticking clock before you. But tuning into your feelings while working out is hugely beneficial to your mental and physical health. It provides an opportunity to reconnect with a piece of you that might have gotten lost amid your hectic life and puts you on track to achieve your goals.

Of course, it’s not always easy to process the sweat pouring from your face, your pumping heart rate, and loud breathing and fathom what it all means. And with the omnipresence of media and entertainment and the piling stresses of daily life, distractions are almost impossible to ignore. But by focusing on the now, you can come back down to reality and start making the most of your workouts.

What Will This Do For Me?

Checking in, even in a brutally hard workout, helps you gain a keener sense of how hard you’re working physically and in a broader context. When I remain in the moment, I can ask myself whether I’m benefitting from the activity at hand. In terms of exercise, I can more accurately gauge where I am: Is my heart rate up? Am I breathing harder? Am I challenging myself or plateauing?

While running mile 16 in an IRONMAN triathlon, I became so displaced that I failed to notice a woman spectator running next to me. She was telling me to smile because I had this amazing opportunity, and that connection brought me back to a present state and forced a smile across my face. Instead of trudging through the marathon portion and dwelling on the pain of it all, I realized it was a blessing and completely turned around my state of mind.

How Can I Be More Mindful?

By bringing awareness into your workouts, you can stimulate your mind and body instead of taking part in a mindless routine. Here are three ways you can be more mindful:

1. Drown Out Your Thoughts 

In our always-on society, no matter where you are, you’re probably connected to a device. Even outdoor noises like cars rushing by and strangers conversing can be distracting.

Because we’ve become so obsessed with thinking about other things, our minds often take over and pull us away from the moment. And in a snap, the moment has passed, and we can’t recall it.

If you want to tap into your unconscious mind, you have to quiet your thoughts. This quiet time allows you to use your mind rather than let your mind use you.

2. Build a Ritual

Establishing rituals is a great way to train your unconscious mind to be more present. Setting up a ritual can calm an overactive brain, even if it’s something as simple as dimming the lights. As humans, we respond to rituals because they take the worry about “what comes next” out of the equation and allow us to focus on what really matters.

3. Meditate

Meditation is powerful — and not just from a spirituality standpoint. It’s an amazing tool that gives you the chance to connect with something bigger than yourself; it just requires some willingness. As your breathing becomes slower and more deliberate, your anxieties slip away. Meditating before or after a workout for just five minutes can help you refocus and remind you of what you’re doing and why. Don’t just go through the motions; actually be there.

When I’m mentally present during a workout, I think about different parts of my body in a connected way. How do my ankles feel? How does it feel when I break a sweat? This adds a whole new mind-body connection that’s induced by the exercise. It’s not even emotional; it’s a gauge or checkpoint for how I’m feeling.

Of course, you’ll inevitably have days when you hit the pavement and use the stress and tension as fuel to push yourself. And when being unmindful can help you get through a slump, it can have a positive impact. But as long as you recognize that distractions are everywhere — and you hold the mental capacity to get back on track — you can start putting mind over body and make your workouts worthwhile.

Rick Martinez is the CEO and founder of Project BINK, a community and platform that guides people to purpose-driven happiness. Find out more about how to eliminate distraction and become more mindful in your career, workouts, and life on the Project BINK blog.

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Self-help and personal development material is one of those things that’s either embraced with open arms, or pushed away like a bad meal. I prefer the former. And I’m guessing that if you’re reading this article right now, you’re (at least) thinking about embracing this list of self-help books below.

So, without further ado, here are 15 of the best self-help books available today. Hopefully they’ll help you make as many positive strides towards your own personal development as they have for me.

1. “Flow” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Let’s kick this party off with a quick little exercise: imagine for a moment that you’re working on something—a project, perhaps—and this thing you’re working on; it happens to be something you absolutely love doing. It’s also something you’re damn good at, too … How do you feel when you’re doing this type of work? Does it make you feel good? Does it energize you? Do hours seem to fly by like minutes? If yes, then you’re probably in what’s known as a “flow” state. Wondering how you might be able to bring more flow into your life? Pickup this book.

 

2. “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for couple of decades, chances are you’ve heard of ”The 7 Habits” by the late great Stephen Covey — but have you actually read it and put it to use as the self-help book it was meant to be used as? If not, then now’s the time to consider doing that. The power of this book comes from the timeless principles (or habits) it’s based off of. Each of the habits laid out in this book are designed to act as individual prescriptions for effectiveness in every area of life: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

 

3. “Willpower” by Roy F. Baumeister, John Tierney

I learned a super crucial self-help lesson from “Willpower”. Here it is: There are basically two qualities that correlate with success: one of them is intelligence and the other is self-control. So far scientists haven’t figured out what to do about intelligence, but they have re-discovered how to improve self-control. That’s what this book is about — improving impulse control — which is probably the most under-estimated aspect of self-help that there is. Get this book. It’ll change the way you live your life.

 

4. “The ONE Thing” by Gary Keller, Jay Papasan

Think of the ONE thing you ultimately want to do with your life, career, or business over the long-run. Once you’ve got that in your mind, think about how many dominoes you need to line up—and then knock down—in order to achieve it. Simple right? Actually, yeah. It is. But just because it’s simple doesn’t make it easy. That’s why “The ONE Thing” is such a powerful book. According to the authors, the key to success is figuring out your ONE most important goal — in your business, career, health, relationships, and every other area of life that matters to you — and knocking down one domino at a time until you’ve achieved that ONE goal.

 

5. “Psycho Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz

Get this: “Pyscho Cybernetics” was written by a plastic surgeon who decided that one day, he wanted to help his patients see their beauty from the inside-out as opposed to the outside-in, which is presumably why most of them walked into his office. This is a surprisingly powerful little self-help book that’s packed with practical advice on improving confidence, overcoming fear, and more.

 

6. “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg

The interesting thing about habits, is that once we develop them, they go about totally un-noticed in our day-to-day activities. For example: you probably don’t think about how many simultaneous actions go into reversing your car out of the garage and into the street safely and smoothly… you just do it. That’s a habit. But so is smoking. “The Power of Habit” teaches you how to be deliberate about building better habits that serve you both in life and in business.

 

7. “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius

“Meditations” is filled with Stoic wisdom that’s just as applicable to the world we live in today, as it was when it was when it was first written 1,800 years ago. The remarkable thing about the advice in this book, and the reason it shows up on this list, is because a vast portion of the spiritual principles that were practiced and written down so many centuries ago, have since been confirmed by science to be effective on our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Find out more by picking up a copy of this age-old text to see if you can bring a little old-school Stoic wisdom to the 21st century.

8. “Getting Things Done” by David Allen

Yah know — you can have some of the greatest, most innovative ideas in the world — and have every single one of them flop due to a lack of ability to EXECUTE. If you lack the willingness + capability to get things done with effectiveness + efficiency, it doesn’t matter how great your ideas are because when it’s all said and done, success depends upon consistent action. Which is exactly why David Allen’s “Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity” makes for such a crucial read.

 

9. ”How To Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie

Decades before we had the science and research to prove the power of Emotional Intelligence, Dale Carnegie had already written the definitive guide on how to leverage it to our lives and in our businesses. “How To Win Friends and Influence People” is one of those self-help books that seriously needs to be in everyone’s collection. I’ve lost count how many friends I’ve gotten copies of it for.

 

10. “Waking Up” by Sam Harris

Still teetering on which box to check under the “Religious Preference” category?—Or whether to check any of the boxes at all? It’s not as big of a deal as it used to be.

In ”Waking Up”, neuroscientist Sam Harris breaks down the science behind how the brain relates to consciousness — and how that relates to spirituality — showing us that you can, indeed be spiritual without religion.

11. “Leaders Eat Last” by Simon Sinek

“Leaders Eat Last” is a self-help book disguised as a leadership book. In the book, author Simon Sinek lays out actionable insights about why leaders need to replace the old “carrot & stick” models of management with more sustainable approaches, that are grounded in empathy and designed to boost engagement and a sense of camaraderie that’s missing in the modern workplace… Pick this book up if you plan on — or already are — leading a career or business that’s comprised of teams of people that depend on working together in order to succeed.

 

12. ”Give and Take” by Adam Grant

Some people say that the only way to get ahead in life is to crush our enemies and claw our way to the top. Followers of this way of thinking believe it doesn’t matter how many fingers you need to step on to get to the top, it just matters that you get to the top. This is non-sense. And in his book, ”Give and Take”, author Adam Grant has the research to prove it. Grant says that the true drivers of success are centered not around taking, but giving.

13. ”Never Eat Alone” by Keith Ferrazzi

The reason why “Never Eat Alone” — a book about connecting with people — is on this list because everything in life happens through people. And in this book, author Keith Ferrazzi breaks down the science behind building meaningful relationships. My biggest take-away? Stop trying to “network” with people to get what you want, and start trying to add value instead. Just read the book. It’s a game changer.

14. “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell

This is a book about success… and how there’s a lot more to it than being smart and working hard. Maybe you’ve heard of Gladwell’s famous 10,000 hour rule and how it relates to success – but even then – there’s still so much more to learn about how successful people became so successful in the first place. “Outliers” is a must-read title if you’re looking for some self-help literature that’s focused on the subtleties and nuances that contributed to the success of icons like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs.

15. “10% Happier” by Dan Harris

If you’re a skeptic by nature, then this is the book for you. “10% Happier” was written by news anchor, Dan Harris. In the book, he chronicles his run-ins with over-the-top self-help gurus (like the quacks behind The Secret)—and cross-references their claims with science to determine whether they held up or not. Along the way, he uncovers the intersection of where science meets spirituality. Good stuff.

Which book will you read first?

Now that you’ve got this big ole’ list of self-help books — there’s only one question left: Which one do you read first? Should you go out and get all of them immediately? Should you read them all at once? So many options. So little time. Ultimately, it’s totally your decision what you do with this list and how you apply it to your life and career.

But if I may, here’s what I would suggest you consider as you get started:

– Subscribe to a book summary site, like FlashBooks to get the key-takeaways from the books on this list.

– If you’d prefer to read an entire book, I would highly suggest that you read just ONE book at a time. Sometimes, when we see something new and exciting, we have tendency to want to do/learn/read it all at once… and as we all know, this is nearly impossible to do without stressing ourselves out. So, choose a book. And then commit to reading it from start to finish.

– If you’re in a rush, try Audio books, or Audiobook summaries.

– Finally, if you’re in a super rush, checkout some YouTube video book summaries, like this one.

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Dean Bokhari is best-selling author and host of Meaningful*FM (MeaningfulHQ.com),one of the web’s most popular personal development podcasts.

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