The knight in shining armor? The Italian gentleman who walks off the winery to sweep you off your feet? The romantic lover who awaits you with a bouquet of roses on the white sandy beaches?
While we have romantic notions about love and the relationships we want in our lives, we are missing the entire point when it comes to love.
So much of our work focuses on the person we want to manifest. We focus so much of our energy and effort externally. We date, we dress up, we think positive thoughts, we visualize the perfect man or woman, we get on dating sites and blind dates, but we don’t do the real work.
Here’s the real work: you.
The secret to finding the relationship of your dreams isn’t about manifesting your dream man but becoming the dream person you’re capable of being.
Don’t ask, “Why can’t I find a good guy?” Instead ask, “How can I become the most loving, authentic and happy version of myself?”
The journey to your soulmate isn’t about finding a soulmate but elevating your soul journey to becoming who you are. It’s not about finding the best man but becoming the best version of yourself.
Before you make any attempt to find your special someone, work on these things first:
1. A belief in yourself.
You have to believe that are you enough, whole and worthy. You have to affirm your goodness, know that you are valuable and accept yourself for who you are. You have to be willing to treat yourself as well as you would any partner. This means speaking gently to yourself, treating yourself kindly in your mind and showing yourself as much affection as you would anyone else. You have to be willing to nourish and nurture yourself. Work on your personal growth, go after the things you want in life and work on becoming the person you are capable of being. Actively work on love, generosity and kindness instead of judgment, comparison and negativity.
2. Live your most authentic and happy life.
Do not wait for a partner to make you happy. Work on your happiness daily. Happiness is a choice you can make every day. Do what you’re passionate about and what brings you joy. Try to reduce the stress, negativity and unhealthy habits in your life. Increase the small joys, the habits that bring you happiness and that bring you alive. Spend more time with people you care about. Work on projects you love. Exercise. Eat better. Give more. Help more. Love more. Live your best life every day at your highest vibration. Don’t live by society’s rules, live by yours. Listen to your intuition and guide yourself internally. Do not let what others want guide you.
3. Know what you want in a partner.
Once you’ve done the internal work of loving and accepting yourself, think of the partner you want. Not the superficial qualities; imagine the character, values and world perspective of your partner. Think about the things you would like to have in common and that make a loving relationship possible. Do this work first so you’re aware of who you’re looking for. Most importantly, when you meet people, keep this vision in mind. The challenge is to quickly let go of dates and relationships that don’t meet the criteria you’re looking for. Saying “no” to others is saying “yes” to yourself. Saying “no” to the wrong mates is the first step towards saying “yes” to your soulmate.
Again, the secret to finding that dream relationship has very little to do with the outside. The journey to love is an inside game.
What are you doing today to live a love-filled life? Please share in the comments below.
Last week, Architectural Record released their list of the top 300 Architecture Firms in the US, based on architectural revenue from 2015. But what can we learn from those numbers and the firms generating them? In this post for ArchSmarter, Michael Kilkelly dives deeper into the figures that have made these firms so successful, comparing numbers based on firm type, firm location and project location.
His conclusion?
“If I were starting a firm today and wanted to end up the top US firm by revenue in the near future, I would start an EA firm based in California, preferably LA or Pasadena. I would make sure no more than a quarter of my revenue came from architectural projects. Of those architectural projects, 80% or more would need to be domestic projects. At least, that’s what the number say.”
Check out the full piece featuring graphs and visualizations, here.
From the architect. The Opposite House, is a commissioned private residence located on the Scarborough Bluffs, closer to the east edge of the Greater Toronto Area. The clients, a professional couple who both work from home and enjoy an active home entertainment lifestyle, were looking for a modern dwelling that would offer everything they might need and more, including enough space to transition into, if their family grows at a later time.
The new build sits partly on an old bungalow’s footprint, close to a quiet back-street, with a 2.7 acre site sloping down to the shore of Lake Ontario. To the northern street side, the house presents a purposely low, dark-brick profile – just a single, unobtrusive 146-foot long storey [equal to the length of an Airbus A321, the most efficient single-aisle jetliner ever built]; its stretched fuselage – measuring 146 feet], allowing for an unimpeded lake view from all points even in the north end of the property. To the southern lakefront, the home’s face opens into a 10-foot curtain wall, lozenged in white. The house’s interior is 6,400 sq-ft; though massive in size, it feels quite human in scale, the result of the space’s precise geometric parsing, something the architect refers to as “mathematical poetry.”
Diagram
Diagram
Both outside and in, the Opposite House is at once familiar yet different, spectacular yet comfortable, private as well as public – presenting a study in subtly rendered juxtapositions. Two concepts are at work here: Louis Kahn’s “servant and served” maxim, wherein private, back-of-the-house functions are placed on one side, balanced by public relaxation on the other; and the “phototropic” nature of plants, which remain rooted in the earth while their heads blossom towards the sun – interpreted here as a north side wrapped in dark-black, textured brick and a south side presented in bright glass and smooth white stucco.
The main hall of the Opposite House forms a central nave that runs like a spine, east-west, along the home’s entire length, bracketed at either end by outsized windows. The foyer, with its 49-square-foot skylight, acts as a north-south transept, intersecting this main line, and descending via a stadium-stairway to the lower level. When the clients wish to entertain, guests can lounge on the agora seating and either admire the view from a dropped 20-foot double-height curtain wall or watch a show on the roll-down movie screen. The central nave and the north-south transept divide the building program into four main zones: 1- the garage, mudroom and storage, 2- a guest-room with an en-suite, 3- home offices/secondary bedrooms, bathroom facilities, and 4- the master bedroom, kitchen, dining, and living areas.
Last week, Architectural Record released their list of the top 300 Architecture Firms in the US, based on architectural revenue from 2015. But what can we learn from those numbers and the firms generating them? In this post for ArchSmarter, Michael Kilkelly dives deeper into the figures that have made these firms so successful, comparing numbers based on firm type, firm location and project location.
His conclusion?
“If I were starting a firm today and wanted to end up the top US firm by revenue in the near future, I would start an EA firm based in California, preferably LA or Pasadena. I would make sure no more than a quarter of my revenue came from architectural projects. Of those architectural projects, 80% or more would need to be domestic projects. At least, that’s what the number say.”
Check out the full piece featuring graphs and visualizations, here.
Florida is a state in denial. Miami is in the midst of one of the largest building booms in the region’s history. Dense crane canopies pepper the city’s skyline as they soar over forthcoming white, gold, and aqua clad “high end” residential and hotel towers. This massive stream of investment dollars is downright paradoxical considering the impending calamity that surrounds Southern Florida: The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration predicts that the sea level could likely increase almost 35 inches (0.89 meters) by mid-century. If current trends continue, that number is anticipated to rise to up to 80 inches (2.0 meters) by the year 2100, threatening the habitability of the entire metro area.
Given that harrowing scenario, Miami is either refusing to acknowledge the inevitable, or desperately trying to become relevant enough to be saved—not that saving the city is actually feasible. The region sits on extremely porous limestone which pretty much rules out the option of a Netherlands style sea wall. If the Atlantic couldn’t make any horizontal inroads, the rising tide would simply bubble up from below. Miami’s pancake topography doesn’t stand a chance.
The current governor of Florida, Rick Scott, has overseen an economic recovery in the wake of the Great Recession. Unfortunately, the anti-regulatory, pro-development politician is a fierce climate change denier. Infamously in 2015, according to the Miami Herald, employees from his Department of Transportation, Health and South Florida Water Management claimed that they were instructed not to use the phrases: “climate change” or “global warming” (the Herald also reports that despite the allegations, the governor repeatedly denied their validity). Scott’s inaction continues as circumstances become increasingly dire.
Emerging out of the ideological stew of the purple state’s real estate boom is Dezer Development’s Porsche Design Tower which, barring Zaha Hadid’s posthumous and stunning One Thousand Museum Tower in downtown Miami, is arguably the most significant high rise under construction in the Miami area. In 2016, Porsche—a name traditionally associated with superior automobiles—now graces everything from exorbitantly priced external hard drives to $80 t-shirts. Partnering with established developers to construct the swankiest condominiums in the Sunshine State was the logical next step for the Porsche Design Group. The much-anticipated construction is a $560 million skyscraper nearing completion in Sunny Isles Beach, a few miles north of Miami Beach. This 57 story, 641 foot (196 meter) tall structure will consist of only 132 units. Ranging from 3,800 to 9,500 square feet (350 to 880 square meters), these will undeniably be some of the most exclusive residences in the city.
The big commotion surrounding this tower isn’t over its architecture. The chunky glass cylinder designed by the Sieger Suarez Architectural Partnership is disappointingly nondescript. There’s little to distinguish the facade of the glass and steel behemoth from the rest of the Collins Avenue strip. Just like Sunny Isles Beach’s Trump Towers a couple of miles South along the coast (by the same architect and developer) the building is yawningly symmetrical, and clearly amenity focused. The project makes a deliberate effort to disengage from the public. The structure itself hugs the beach, and is significantly set back from Collins Avenue. Its dual driveway approach is both inclined and curved, discouraging pedestrians from wandering inside. In the president of Dezer DevelopmentGil Dezer’s own words: “We’re really making [these buildings] a self contained city, so you don’t have to leave”.
Forget the Stuttgart branding, 10 foot by 15 foot (3 meter by 4.5 meter) plunge pools integrated into every unit’s balcony, the massive square footage, the 20 foot (6 meter) high ceilings, the remote controlled toilets, and the panoramic views of the Atlantic. The Porsche Design Tower is interesting because of its one party trick: the Dezervator. Yes, the developer has named the building’s elevators after himself, and they’re patented. That is the sole reason that this tower has caught the public’s eye. The contraption is incredibly decadent, but an admittedly impressive engineering feat that makes the building’s floor plan quite intriguing.
The Dezervator is a fully automated car elevator powered by electricity and hydraulics (there’s currently no plan to power them off any alternative to the South Floridian grid). Three Dezervators whose energy-hogging acrobatics operate independently of one another cleverly meet in adjoined circles occupying the hollow concrete core of the tower. Inhabitants can drive their automobiles right into the building and get transported directly up to their condominium all without leaving their car or having to deal with a valet. The building contains 284 apartment-adjacent parking spaces for its residences, allowing owners to leave up to four cars (in the more expensive units) right at their 50th floor doorstep. The Dezervator finally fulfills the long held gear-head fetish of being able to “sleep with your sports car.” According to Curbed Miami, Dezer claims that the gimmick has seduced no less than 22 billionaires (over 1.2% of the world’s total!) who have purchased units in the tower, which opens in a few months.
It’s little surprise that the Porsche Tower is a glorified garage; the developers are obsessed with automobiles. Dezer Development is a New York City-and-Miami based father-son business that was founded in 1970 by Michael Dezer. In 1985 he set his sights on buying and developing 27 acres of the Floridian coastline, largely in Sunny Isles Beach. To this day he is one of the most prominent oceanfront property owners in Florida. Gil Dezer, Michael’s son, orchestrated the Porsche deal and owns 29 cars, 17 of which are Porsches (including a 1950s Porsche Spyder 550 fixed directly into the wall of his Trump Palace condo). But these 29 vehicles are a paltry number when compared to his father, who owns over 1,000 vehicles that are on display at the Dezer Collection Museum in Miami. These powerful men have immense influence over the future of the city. Given Miami’s trajectory, it was almost inevitable that the Dezers have partnered with and are enthusiastic supporters of Donald J Trump.
Trump has previously collaborated with both Dezers on ostentatious Trump Tower projects: “We’re best known for our six buildings we’ve done with Donald Trump, hopefully our future president… The future [for Miami] is very bright” boasts Gil Dezer on a Miami New Construction Show interview. According to the Center for Responsive Politics (a nonpartisan nonprofit research organization that keeps track of campaign contributions) Michael Dezertov (Dezer for short) donated $100,000 to one of Donald Trump’s largest Super PACs, the modestly titled “Make America Great Again PAC.” The Republican Presidential Nominee has famously denounced climate change as “a total, and very expensive, hoax” and a concept “created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.” Trump has also sworn if elected president, to “cancel” the United States’ participation in the Paris Climate agreements due to the strict environmental regulations and turn our back on the rest of the civilized world. Coastal Risk Consulting (a flood risk assessment company) estimates almost 100 days of flooding per year in Sunny Isles Beach by 2045. Considering that the city sits a mere three feet above the encroaching Atlantic, it is clearly in the Dezers’ interest for him to become commander-in-chief if they want to continue stealing sky in a submerging city.
Although the state of Florida blithely ignores the issue and the potential consequences of climate change, and developers’ seaside towers continue to rocket skyward, local governments can’t afford to wait. Despite an annual budget of around $500 million, Miami Beach is spending $400 million ($160 million less than the budget of the Porsche Design Tower) in an attempt to delay the inevitable. The funds will provide the city with 80 new pumps designed to relocate seawater that regularly floods Collins Avenue as well as serving as a last line of defense against the contamination of Miami Dade County’s low-lying potable water reservoirs. Yet meanwhile, the Sunny Isles Beach City Commission unanimously approved the Porsche Design Tower in 2011. As nearby Miami Beach starts to invest in anti-flood infrastructure, it is practically an inevitability that Sunny Isles will have to pony up some taxpayer dollars in the near future to protect its privately owned towers.
On his “anonymous” (and public) Instagram profile Gil Dezer, aka gdizzle99, allows us a glimpse into his privileged life via dozens of photos and videos: million dollar supercars, a yacht, various watches, a private jet embellished with the Dezer Properties logo, plus a cheerful mugshot of CNBC’s Robert Frank presumably taken last year while recording Dezer’s very own episode of “Secret Lives of the Super Rich.” Gil also offers teasers from the construction site, including a breathtaking time-lapse of the Dezervators in action. The video offers a rare glimpse of the triple-contiguous vastness that defines the plan of the tower. To gild the lily, Gil elegantly captions another photograph of the Dezervator: “Does anyone know what this is? Hint: #ladieslovemyshaft There’s a prize to the hottest girl who loves the #shaft.”
The realtor for the project (and VP of Sales for Dezer Platinum Realty) is the self proclaimed “Condo Queen of Miami,” Ms. Lucrecia Lindemann. She smiles from online banner ads that proudly tout the minimum sticker price of a condo in the tower as “six million plus.” When asked via email if clients had expressed concern over sea level rise and the potential loss in value of their investments she never responded.
Unfortunately this very real threat of rising seas encroaching on low lying property will continue to be ignored until the city is literally drowning. The Porsche Design Tower is an apt symbol for the self-absorbed hedonism of Miami’s one percent. As Gil Dezer writes on his Instagram bio: “The one who dies with the most toys, WINS!!!”
Thomas Musca was the assistant curator for the Architecture and Design Museum’s 2013 exhibition Never Built: Los Angeles. He is currently studying architecture at Cornell University.
From the architect. The Invisible House next door reflects the living trees in Waterlow Park opposite and the house backs on to Highgate Cemetery so our proposal plays on this context.
Rather than reflecting the living trees, we decided to use wood that had been ‘traumatised’. This wood, as dead as we could make it, reflects our clients’ interest in the macabre drawing on the ambience of Highgate Cemetery. The heavily charred larch fins creates an interesting counterpoint to the Invisible House that ties the two buildings together.
The fins are fixed to the facade using galvanised top-hat brackets and glued in place. The fronts of all the timbers are in one plane to unify the facade so when viewed from up and down the street, the elevation appears closed, but on moving past the house the differing depths of fins reveal the ghost of the original articulation of the dwelling behind.
With the severe economic conditions and widespread layoffs, more people are faced with the threat of losing their job. The negative trends affect all sectors of the labour market and even the best workers can get laid off. Unfortunately, a potential blow may have a bigger impact on your career that you suspect.
The effects of long–term unemployment are evident in the division of the labour market. There are two well-defined groups – people that have been out of work for less than six months and those who have been out of work longer.
The reason is that most employers and recruiters are less likely to hire job seekers that stayed unemployed for a while. Recruiters assume that something is not right with them and they are not suitable candidates. Fortunately, it is not impossible to break the stigma of long-term unemployment.
Overcome the psychological effects of unemployment
For many people the effects of losing their job extend beyond the financial impact. It’s natural to experience lower self-esteem after getting laid off.
Since our personal and professional identities are closely aligned, our job can largely affect our perception of who we are. In this sense, it’s not simply your job that has been taken away, but your identity as well.
Feelings of anxiety, sadness, insecurity and hopelessness can grow and lead to more serious consequences. It is important to recognize these negative patterns and improve your mental attitude:
Talk – Find a good listener who will not interrupt or judge you. Even if they can’t offer you a solution, it can be liberating to be open about your unemployment issues.
Exercise – It’s good for your self-esteem and your health
Eat well – Avoid carb-loaded comfort food and sugary snacks.
House clean – Surprisingly, domestic cleaning can restore the feeling of control over your life. Plus, your place will look nicer.
Network – Meet new people. They might be your next boss or know someone who might hire you.
Fill the Gaps
As mentioned earlier, recruiters are less likely to hire someone who has been out of work for more than six months. You can turn this around by using your free time for meaningful activities that will enrich both your life and your resume.
Stay involved – Find work-related activities that will help you stay up-to-date with the industry and will improve your skills, making you more competitive. Contract assignments and temporary employment are viable options.
Your resume reflects not only your work experience, but also your individual self. Long gaps in employment can give the impression of lack of ambition and abilities. These unexplained blank spaces in your work history may also imply that you are incapable of landing a job.
Here’s how to handle the employment gaps in your CV:
Be honest – Don’t try to hide the holes in your resume. Explain it in your cover letter. Cleaning out these issues from the start is the best strategy, but don’t draw to much attention to it.
Present the gap in a positive way – You can mention how this period made you a better worker like acquiring new skills and developing mature understanding.
Show progression –Include any coursesand certificates you acquired while you were unemployed.
Although long-term unemployment can be tough, there is no use getting discouraged and bummed-out. Life throws challenges that seem impossible to past through until you actually overcome them.
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Established in a high valley tucked into the Allegheny Mountains, Canaan Valley National Wildlife Refuge in West Virginia preserves almost 17,000 acres of forest and wetlands. The Blackwater River meanders through this rugged and gorgeous landscape, supporting an impressive variety of wildlife. The refuge is a great place for fishing, hiking and, as you can see, photography. Photo by Frank Ceravalo, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.
Sig Nordal 