š Fresh on 500px by Muhammad RidhaāĀ Ā Canon EOSā¦ http://ift.tt/2bKfdB9
š Fresh on 500px by Muhammad Ridhaā Canon EOSā¦…
Month: January 2017
5 Reasons Why We Hold on to Anger
You’re reading 5 Reasons Why We Hold on to Anger, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
It takes so much energy to stay mad at someone. Making sure the person who did us wrong knows weāre mad at them by planning on being visibly angry in his or her presence is emotionally taxing. What about if you live with that person? Thatās a lot of acting! Sounds pretty tiring, huh? Learning to forgive and move on takes less effort in the long run than holding on to anger does. But why do many of us still hold on to our anger?
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Itās easy!
Negative experiences are easier to recall than good onesā¦unless theyāre extraordinarily good. Think back to that time when you had an angry confrontation where someone did or said something hurtful to you. Did you get over it quickly? Did it take some time to get over it? Are you still not over it? It isnāt pleasant to think about the times when someone has treated us badly.
Iām not suggesting anyone recall negative experiences to make them upset, but rather to show how easy it is to relive that bad moment and remember how it made us feel. All it takes is something small to trigger us and weāre suddenly right back in that moment.
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It makes us feel safe
I know it sounds crazy, but staying angry can make you feel safe. Anger is one of the first emotions we experience from birth. When those angry cries are met with coddling, milk, and fresh diapers, we realize that crying gets us what we want.
As adults, when we get irately angry, we stop thinking clearly and the rational part of our brain shuts down. There is no reasoning with us and no calming us down; just stay out of the way. When we are in that state, we canāt think clearly and we probably donāt want to ā especially if someone did or said to us that hurt or disappointed us.
Our anger saves us from having to admit we are hurt. That would make us feel vulnerable, unsafe. Nobody likes being around someone who is always angry, so people avoid us. It prevents the threat of having someone get close enough to us to try finding out why weāre angry. Keeping emotions bottled up makes us feel a lot safer emotionally than sharing them. We get exactly what we want.
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It makes us feel powerful, in control
Some of us might get aggressive or even violent when we get angry. If weāre that upset, we might lack the words to express our anger in a more positive way. Sadly, this destructive behavior can make someone feel powerful. They were able to take this strong emotion and express it physically by destroying something (or someone). Just think. We actually have the power to destroy something.
It can also make us feel in control. Only we can decide we are not too angry to talk to the person who hurt us. Even if he or she wants to move past it, they canāt get past it unless we do. We can make them feel guilty for hurting us for as long as we want. We have the upper hand in the relationship (if we can still have one after what they did or said).
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It allows us to get sympathy from others
If weāre to be honest with ourselves, we have to admit that it feels good when people notice us. I donāt mean making us the center of attention; that could be embarrassing if we arenāt feeling the best. When someone shows they have been thinking of us or noticed we havenāt been our normal self, it can make us feel really good. When someone asks, āWhatās wrong,ā we shrug and say, āNothing,ā knowing theyāll continue asking whatās wrong. This game of emotional cat and mouse gives us the attention we want. At least somebody cares enough not to simply go away when we say nothing is wrong. It shows they care, and we like that.
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We donāt know how/donāt want to let go
We are creatures of habit. That means that if something good happens to us, we want it to keep happening. We develop superstitions and routines that we do all the time ā sometimes without realizing we do them. All we know is that weāre mad and ignoring the problem definitely is not the right answer, but we may not know where to begin to properly address it.
If being angry with people for a long time has become our pattern and weāre able to manipulate the situation until we get what we want it must be working for us! Why change anything? We might not even want to let go of our anger.
The best way to let go of anger is to first identify where it comes from and then take active steps to resolve it. That also requires some work and a whole lot of honesty.
Hereās to releasing ourselves from our anger!
You’ve read 5 Reasons Why We Hold on to Anger, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
Hereās what the Chinese zodiac says about youHappy Lunar…
Hereās what the Chinese zodiac says about you
Happy Lunar New Year! 2017 is the year of the rooster, and itās believed that anyone born under this sign will have a good year with plenty of luck and opportunities.
Savannah – Georgia – USA (byĀ Kenneth Garcia)Ā
Savannah – Georgia – USA (byĀ Kenneth Garcia)Ā
5 Exercises to Improve Posture and Mobility for Seniors
Are you looking for posture exercises for seniors?
Poor posture can affect moving around, walking and daily activities. In the long run, bad posture can lead to back pain and joint pain in your hips and knees.
Seniors can perform many posture exercises during leisure time with the assistance ofĀ a respite caregiver from home care. If your loved one is sitting on a chair watching TV, he or she can do these exercises during the commercials. If theyāre on the computer, they can take a break every five minutes for a posture exercise.
We’veĀ put together an array of exercises to help youĀ target these postures more easily. Keep in mind, these are designed specifically for seniors.Ā
Arms Up
This exercise corrects shoulder posture and aids in breathing.
For the arms up exercise, seniors would have to Ā start with their arms down. Then they would have to raise them to shoulder height. The seniors are then instructed to squeeze their shoulder blades together and then return to a neutral spine with arms down.Ā
Spinal Extension
This exercise can improve posture for those who find themselves slouching or keeping their chin down. As the name implies, this is an awesome exercise for the spine.
During this exercise, they are advised to inhale and sit up as tall as possible. Then they are allowed to relax and exhale.Ā
Chin tuck and jut
Sometimes it is easy to loose good posture while sitting in a chair. Ideally, the vertebrae should be stacked.
This exercise helps old folksĀ maintain a neutral spine while sitting.
For the chin tuck and jut, the elderly have to tuck their chin into chest, then jut it forward. Make sure your loved one is sitting on a chair and has a relaxed spine. During the exercise, the seniors should lift their ribs and breathe normally.Ā
Shoulder circles
If you think a seniorās shoulders are angling forward due to slouching, this exercise will help put them back in place.
For this exercise, your elderĀ needs to sit up tall, lifting theĀ ribs. Raise only shoulders up slowly and then lower. Make sure to continue breathing normally.
Wall tilts
This exercise helps correct the posture of your loved oneās lower back, and it will strengthen pelvis and buttock muscles.
Wall tilts are done with the back against a wall. The elderly need to place a hand behind their back and try to flatten it to create pressure on their hand, and then relax it. If the exercise is too difficult to do standing up, your loved can try it sitting down.
Share these posture exercises for seniors or their loved ones who can make use of them! Good posture helps alleviate pain and discomfort so give these a try.
The post 5 Exercises to Improve Posture and Mobility for Seniors appeared first on Dumb Little Man.
7 Ways To Make Your Home One Youāre Excited To Come Back To Each Day
When you think of your home, does it evoke a welcoming, cozy, happy feeling? Our homes are a personal extension of ourselves. When we walk through the door, we should feel joy, contentment and peace. Although most of us want these things for our homes, we donāt always know where to start in creating this atmosphere.
Below are must-know design ideas on how to make a happy home.
Use Soothing Colors and Textures
Look around your home and take in your surroundings. Does it exude soothing colors and textures that are both welcoming and inviting?
A home with soothing shades and soft textures set the overall mood. Think tranquil blues, greens, greys, whites, and beiges. Choose soft furniture with rounded edges and hardwood floors with soft area rugs. Use soft lighting and candles to produce a calming ambience.
The idea is to create a space that looks and feels softer, calmer and more relaxing.
See Also:Ā 6 Decor Hack to Make Your House look PrettyĀ
Channel Your Inner āHygge”
Hygge is the Danish concept of creating a cozy atmosphere in your home. It’s a choice and way of life.
Find a gathering space in your home where your family can congregate. Put on your wooly socks and warm sweaters and add a few blankets. Light a fire in the fireplace, invite a few friends or family over and play board games or watch movies together, nestled up and snug. Keep a good stock of board games nearby so itās easy to grab a few family members and start up a game.
Think Minimalism
Minimalism doesnāt have to mean stark surfaces and owning very little in terms of belongings. It can simply refer to decluttering the piles on the counters, getting rid of items that arenāt special or of importance, and getting your home organized.
Itās well-documented that clutter causes stress but order creates calm. When piles arenāt building up and everything has a home, clean-up is easy and quick.
When it comes time for gift giving or buying something for your home, consider how the item will fit into your home. Will it create more clutter or will it be an investment in your home and family? No matter what the item is, consider quality over quantity.
Cook Meals at Home
Home cooked meals are positive for so many reasonsāit saves money, provides a healthier nourishment for your family, and brings the family together at the dinner table. Encourage family participation in meal planning, food prep, and cooking. Whenever a child has had a hand in meal preparation, they are more inclined to want to eat what theyāve cooked. Have your family take time to discuss the day, including positives and negatives and bring in conversation starters/prompts for fun.
See Also:Ā 8 Ways to Make Family Meal Times More Fun
Surround Yourself with Things That Bring Happiness
Material items donāt bring us joy, memories and experiences do. Display sentimental items around your home that evoke happy memories and are reminiscent of good times youāve had.
Think framed photos or artwork, a vase with seashells, a beautiful rock collected from the ocean, a bowl of your great grandmotherās, or something you picked up on your travels abroad. Aim for simple displays and not dust-collecting clutter.
Promote Relaxation in the Home
Make home an escape from the world outside. Relaxation and family time is important to decompress and should be included in every family memberās day. Encourage art together, play music, provide plenty of outdoor time, cook meals together, read, play games, watch movies, and make downtime key.
Live Intentionally
When you walk through the door of your home, put a stop to the craziness of the outside world. Leave the stress at the door mat. Make time for yourself and for your family, make time and room for love.
Donāt forget to say good morning and good night to your loved ones, remember to ask them about their day or to say “good luck” on that test. Give hugs when you leave and come back home. And take breaks to disconnect from electronics, social media and Netflix.
The post 7 Ways To Make Your Home One You’re Excited To Come Back To Each Day appeared first on Dumb Little Man.
Approaching Life with Beginnerās Mind
By Leo Babauta
A lot of our troubles could be solved by one simple practice.
A lot of joy could be found with the same practice.
And it is simple: practice seeing life with a beginner’s mind.
I’m stealing this of course from Zen Buddhism’s shoshin and Shunryu Suzuki’s Zen Mind Beginner’s Mind, and I’ve written about it numerous times. But it’s more fundamental than most people realize.
It’s not just something you practice when you’re learning something ā though dropping the “expert’s mind” and seeing the learning as a beginner is an important practice in learning. It’s something you can practice every single moment of the day (if you can remember to do so).
What is beginner’s mind? It’s dropping our expectations and preconceived ideas about something, and seeing things with an open mind, fresh eyes, just like a beginner. If you’ve ever learned something new, you can remember what that’s like: you’re probably confused, because you don’t know how to do whatever you’re learning, but you’re also looking at everything as if it’s brand new, perhaps with curiosity and wonder. That’s beginner’s mind.
But imagine if you could apply this to every activity. Take eating breakfast, for example:
- You start by seeing the activity of eating with fresh eyes, as if you don’t know what to expect, as if you hadn’t done it thousands of times already.
- You really look at the food, the bowl, the spoon, and try to see the details that you might not normally notice.
- You truly notice the textures, tastes, smells, sights of the food, pay close attention as if you don’t already know how the food will taste. Everything seems new, perhaps even full of wonder.
- You don’t take anything for granted, and appreciate every bite as a gift. It’s temporary, fleeting, and precious.
As you can see, this practice of beginner’s mind transforms the activity.
Why It Matters
When you practice beginner’s mind with an activity:
- Better experiences: You aren’t clouded by prejudgments, preconceptions, fantasies about what it should be or assumptions about how you already know it will be. When you don’t have these, you can’t be disappointed or frustrated by the experience, because there’s no fantasy or preconception to compare it to.
- Better relationships: If you are talking to someone else, instead of being frustrated by them because they aren’t meeting your ideal, you can see them with fresh eyes and notice that they’re just trying to be happy, that they have good intentions (even if they’re not your intentions), and they are struggling just like you are. This transforms your relationship with the person.
- Less procrastination: If you’re procrastinating on a big work task, you could look at it with beginner’s mind and instead of worrying about how hard the task will be or how you might fail at it … you can be curious about what the task will be like. You can notice the details of doing the task, instead of trying to get away from them.
- Less anxiety: If you have an upcoming event or meeting that you’re anxious about … instead of worrying about what might happen, you can open yourself up to being curious about what will happen, let go of your preconceived ideas about the outcome and instead embrace not knowing, embrace being present and finding gratitude in the moment for what you’re doing and who you’re meeting.
As you can see, the practice of beginner’s mind can transform any activity, get rid of a lot of our difficulties, allow us to be more flexible, open, curious, grateful, present.
I’m not saying all of this happens automagically. It takes practice, but it’s worth the practice.
How to Practice
Beginner’s mind is what we practice in meditation. Instead of sitting in meditation and thinking you know what your breath will be like, or the present moment in front of you will be like … you pay attention. See it with fresh eyes. Drop your preconceived ideas and just look clearly at what’s in front of you.
A daily meditation practice is extremely useful in developing this beginner’s mind. Here’s how to practice:
- Sit comfortably and upright in a quiet place.
- Pay attention to your body, then your breath, trying to see them clearly and freshly.
- When you notice yourself having preconceived ideas, wandering from the present moment, thinking you know how it will be … just notice that.
- See if you can drop the ideas and thoughts and fantasies and stories that are filling up your head. Empty yourself so you can see what’s actually in front of you. See what your breath is actually like, right now, instead of what you think it will be or what you’re thinking about.
Repeat the last few steps, over and over. See the thoughts and fantasies, empty yourself and see what’s actually there with fresh eyes.
You can practice this right now, with whatever is in front of you. With how your body feels, how your breath feels, whatever else is around you.
You can practice whenever you do any activity, from brushing your teeth to washing the dishes to walking and driving and working out and using your phone.
You can practice whenever you talk to another human being, dropping your ideas of how they should be and instead emptying your mind and seeing them as they are. Notice their good heart, their difficulties, and be grateful for them as they are. Love them for who they are and find compassion for their struggles.
This is the practice. Do it with a smile, and with love, with fresh eyes and gratitude for the only universe we’ll ever get ā the actual one in front of us.
The forested wetlands of Pocosin Lakes National Wildlife Refuge…
The forested wetlands of Pocosin Lakes National Wildlife Refuge in North Carolina provide excellent habitat for migratory birds. Large numbers of waterfowl concentrate on this relatively small area in the winter with peak numbers of well over 100,000 gathering in December and January. It is also home to the only population of wild, free roaming red wolves in the world and supports several clusters of endangered red cockaded woodpeckers. Here, a large flock of tundra swans fly over the refuge at sunset. Photo by Ginny P. Gillam (http://ift.tt/18oFfjl).
M3 Architectural&Construction Group Designs an Apartment in Budva, Montenegro for a Young IT Engineer
When we hear the term “bachelor apartment”, our minds usually jump to a few stereotypical images. Perhaps you might picture dark colours, leather, and a super casual feel that borders on well lived in, or maybe you’re thinking of something closer to the kind of “man caves” you see in magazines and on television design shows. Well, this apartment might be called Bachelor, but we think you’ll find it a..
15 Questions to Ask When Buying a Used Car
Upgrading to a newer vehicle can be very exciting. You probably know a few things about cars, but not knowing the best questions to ask can make the experience intimidating.
Below are several questions to help you get started and overcome challenges along the way. If you show confidence, stick to your budget, and ask your own questions along the way, you will end up with a used car you will love.
What is your budget?
One of the first questions to ask when buying a used car is about money. What is your budget for this vehicle? There are several recommendations about how much you should spend on a vehicle. Various sources suggest only paying cash or making a large down payment to keep your monthly payments low.
How much is my current vehicle worth?
If your trade-in vehicle still has a lot of value, you mightĀ be able to afford some additional features or a higher quality vehicle.
How will you pay for your used car?
If you are paying cash, you are ready to start brainstorming about your needs and wants. If not, decide if you are you using a local bank, a credit union, loan from family or an online bank.
How do you make sure you get the lowest interest rate?
You will usually find the best interest rates by searching online. It’s best to shop around and compare rates and terms. Keep in mind, used vehicle loan rates vary based on the age of the vehicle.
Are car dealerships a good source for lending?
You can consider promotions at a car dealer since they can sometimes be competitive with banks. Be sure to do the math and don’t forget to compare multiple car dealers.
Should I trade in my current vehicle or sell it myself?
You can research online or ask for a quote from a local car dealer. Selling it yourself will often mean getting more money but it will also take more time and effort on your part. If your budget is tight, you might want to consider selling it online or to a private buyer. Selling a used car can also be good experience and teach you what to ask when buying a used car.
Once I have determined my budget, how can I decide what vehicle to buy?
You need to make a list of your most basic needs. Then, make a list of the things that you would like your current vehicle to do. You can use this list to narrow down your search.
See Also:Ā What Science Says About The Car You DriveĀ
What features should I consider for my used car?
Do you need to transport several people or lots of cargo? Do you needĀ great gas mileage or lots of power? Do you need a 4×4 vehicle for snow or rough terrain? Think about how you use your vehicle now and refer to your list of wants and needs to develop a list of features.
How can I narrow down my search among the thousands of vehicles available?
Fortunately, shopping online at local car dealerships is much easier than it used to be. You can use the lists you just made to filter car dealers’ inventory and find the car you need. Once you identify 2 or 3 vehicles, it is time for a test drive.
Since I don’t know anything about cars, how can I make sure I don’t buy a piece of junk?
No one knows all the things to ask when buying a car. You should ask for some additional advice from someone you trust or check a few unbiased sites for owners’ experiences with the car you are interested in .
A trusted mechanic is another great resource. They can provide basic tips to buying cars in your area and advise you on the best used cars to buy. They may even know a little bit about you and your needs and can help you ask other questions to ask when buying a used car. Cars that cost a lot of money to operate are certainly ones to avoid.
See Also:Ā How to Find a Good Mechanic in the Age of Social Media
Do I have to shop alone or can I bring someone with me?
Close family members, coworkers, and classmates can also be great to bring along when buying a car. They can help you avoid making a hasty purchase by being an instant second opinion or by playing devil’s advocate.
Once I find a car I like, what should I do to make sure I won’t hate it later?
Once you have narrowed your choices down to a vehicle or two, you can weigh your options by listing the pros and cons of those vehicles. You may even want to take another test drive.
What if I don’t want the salesperson to come with me on my test drive?
You can just request to drive the vehicle alone. Some dealers will press the issue with younger drivers, but you can avoid this impression if you take an older adult friend or parent with you.
What can I do to make sure I don’t feel rushed to decide?
Someone else might come along and buy one of your selections before you do. So, take the time you need, but don’t be surprised if a car you want gets sold before you decide. Some car dealers might allow you to place a deposit on a vehicle that places the vehicle on hold until a certain date.
What do I do if I change my mind after I drive away?
Some dealerships offer a return policy. If you are very concerned about this, keep this in mind when selecting a dealership or try to negotiate a return option. If you buy a car from a dealer that doesn’t accept returns, you may have recourse legally. Otherwise, you need to trade it in or sell it yourself.
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Sig Nordal 