About 30 minutes from Palm Springs, California, the Santa Rosa and San Jacinto Mountains National Monument rises abruptly from the desert floor and reaches an elevation of 10,834 feet. Providing a picturesque backdrop to local communities, visitors can enjoy magnificent palm oases, snow-capped mountains, a national scenic trail and wilderness areas. It’s the perfect place to #OptOutside this weekend! Photo by Bob Wick, Bureau of Land Management, @mypubliclands
Living with chronic illness comes with its own set of unique challenges but it doesn’t mean that life has to be one terrible ordeal.
Often, we don’t look ill and we can still manage to hold down a job. We have families and a bit of a social life. Despite these things, we still feel terrible.
It’s like having the flu every day, with maybe an odd hour or two of relief.
Living with a chronic illness brings with it the challenge of honoring ourselves while also living up to the expectations and responsibilities of being alive. Often, that includes extreme pain, exhaustion or a hidden disability.
The hardest part can be that because we don’t look ill and we do our best, family and friends can forget. They can even become frustrated with us. As a result, we become frustrated with them and we get angry at ourselves for being ill.
These feelings of guilt and frustration can lead to arguments. Sometimes, they can also push us into a deeper sense of depression and deprivation.
Why us? What did we do wrong?
Despite all the questions you may have in your mind, remember that there is a way to live well. It can be a challenging work but living with chronic illness is possible.
Below, I’ll show you how.
We need to grieve for the life we are not going to live or might never live. We need to grieve for the lost time, missed events, and missed opportunities.
And grieving is tough, especially when we are told we can think our way out of it or we, on some metaphysical level, asked for this. This ‘magical’ thinking or any other general new age BS does not help us when we are deep in the mire of seeing our lives crumble beneath us.
We are ill.
Most of us are still desperately searching for a cure. But to continue with this journey, we must accept where we are.
Grieve the loss of the life you don’t have. Grieving comes in waves and must be honored.
However, you should remember that grieving does come to an end once there’s acceptance. So, accept how life is and get on with it.
Let’s live it well- even within the restrictions of the disease.
Boundaries keep you safe. They keep your pain down and they keep you sane. They don’t mean brick walls.
Instead, think of them as flexible fences that control what comes in and goes out. Learning to set your fences can be hard. But once done, you’ll wish you were able to do it years ago.
Boundaries let you stop worrying. And when you worry, you increase your stress levels and even your pain. It becomes an endless cycle that damages you more.
Strong boundaries ensure things get done, toxic people stay away, and you stop over giving.
So, sort out what type of boundaries you need. Get others on board, remind them when they are overstepping your boundary, and stick to your guns.
The boundaries you put in place will be unique to you.
I feel this follows on naturally after the grieving process and boundaries.
You are going to disappoint people.
You can’t do everything. You’ll have limits due to your illness.
Being honest about this is the best way forward. Explain that you only have so much energy. Give a warning when that energy starts to deplete and plan how you’ll leave if this has not already been done. Then when ready, put your plan into action.
Do not push through!
Pushing through is for emergencies or once in a lifetime events only. The consequences of pushing through are harsh. They mean days in bed, increased pain and increased brain fog.
And often for what? So other people will like you more?
People without a chronic illness can bounce back after 5 minutes, but what about you?
You’ll crash and can’t move.
Listen to your body. Honor when it talks to you and for the love of all that is, don’t push through!
It is not your fault that you are ill and it is not your fault that you have limitations. It’s just not your fault so stop feeling guilty.
I can’t stress this enough.
It has taken me years to drop the guilt but finally, it is happening.
This is life.
By accepting ourselves as we are, we make it easier for others to accept us as we are. If we present to the world who we really are without the guilt, the world will reflect that back to us. People that can’t honor this will walk away.
Pamper days to me are ‘women going to a spa’.
Well, that is not enough.
Living with chronic illness means we miss out big time.
For me, a pamper day is planning a day where I don’t miss out. I don’t do what anyone else wants or needs me to do. This day is for me to experience what I need to experience to feel alive. This may be a visit to an art gallery, a trip to friends, a simple stroll or a wheelchair visit outdoors.
Too often, we are bounded to our beds and houses and this is bad for us on all fronts.
If you can’t get out, bring the pamper day to you. Have your friends come around and cook for you, have a tea party or a picnic in the back garden. Do what feeds your soul and not what feeds others!
But again, don’t push through.
Be strategic about coping with your energy/pain levels.
I am so lucky that I have a partner who understands that I have an illness one can’t see. It wasn’t always like this, but we are now at a point where our routine honors his needs and mine. He knows I’m not pulling a fast one. He can now recognize when exhaustion sets in and if I need to be in bed, then I’m in bed.
It has taken time and patience to get here. Education and seeing medical results have been instrumental, but I’m so glad we have hung in there.
It hasn’t been easy for my daughter, either. She can’t remember a time that I was not ill. As a result, she can read me like a book and sense within a second when I’m flagging. I have done my best to parent her the best I can, but this has sadly meant she has grown up way too fast for my liking.
She spins it and says she is independent and she is. I can’t deny that her love has helped immeasurably, but at a cost to her childhood.
But, what if you don’t have love?
Join clubs or groups. You can even search for virtual ones. Facebook seems to be a suitable place for support and advice. Just try and avoid the toxic groups. We need support, not a pity party.
Which brings me on to toxic people.
What if you have a toxic relationship?
If you do, then get help or just get out. Toxic relationships stress us immeasurably.
We are far better off without them.
There is nothing worse than being ill and living with toxic family or friends. They will make you worse and you deserve better.
See Also: 8 Types of Toxic Friends That Are Holding Your Happiness Hostage
Alternative therapies are often complementary to the regular medical care many of us have. Some find them a bit ‘woo’ but I do believe the right ones have a significant role to play.
If we are truly fortunate, we have an integrative medic that practices both conventional and complementary techniques.
My illness, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, needs to be treated with several complementary therapies. Diet change has been one and I strictly follow the Auto Immune Protocol. My emotional and mental well-being has been improved with therapies like EFT. I take supplements to correct blood test results and they have improved my fatigue levels.
I still can’t do everything I want to do, so I do the best I can. I no longer beat myself up for it.
I don’t believe I am to blame for this illness and I will no longer allow people in my life that disrespect me because of it.
I see conventional medicine and alternative medicine as a partnership where they complement each other. Together, they can help a person live well.
See Also: Common Health Conditions Treated with Alternative Medicine
My life is more balanced, more loving and more fun. I have grieved, I have dropped the guilt, I have a fantastic doctor and I am loved. All these things make living with chronic illness a little easier.
The post 6 Ways To Live Well With A Chronic Illness appeared first on Dumb Little Man.
Preparations are underway for what will be the largest guitar shaped hotel at Florida’s Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. The plans were unveiled to great fanfare, with fireworks and guitar smashing to celebrate what the hoteliers have fought for since 2007. The new 638-room hotel will be a spectacle of Hollywood, Florida, as the building curves up to form the body of a guitar.
Designed to appear as two back-to-back guitars, the structure will measure 450 feet high when complete and will also boast a 41,000-square-foot spa complex for guests to enjoy. The bold design is the vision of James F. Allen, CEO of Seminole Gaming and Chairman of Hard Rock International. “I said, ‘We are talking about a building that is actually shaped like a guitar,’ ” Allen shared at a preview event. “This is another time in my life when people thought I was certifiably crazy.”
But now, his vision is becoming a reality. “We think the architectural design in itself creates an amazing attraction,” he said. “There is truly, with zero exaggeration, nothing like it in the world.”
Due to open in 2019—at a cost of $1.5 billion—the expansion will double the rooms at the hotel and gaming space at the casino. In addition to enjoying their stay in the guitar-shaped building, guests will also be able to spend time in a new 10-acre pool complex that is part of the project. It will include private cabanas, butler service, multiple waterfalls, and water sports. As the spectacle unfolds, Allen hopes to be able to attract large-scale productions to the Seminole Hard Rock, making it an international entertainment destination.
h/t: [ArchDaily]
Mysterious, Abandoned Indonesian Church Shaped like a Giant Chicken
Quirky South Korean Cafe is Shaped Like a Rolleiflex Camera
Quirky Hotel in Idaho Shaped Like a Dog
China’s Modern Stingray-Shaped Art Museum
The post Florida Is Getting a 450-Foot Hard Rock Hotel Shaped Like a Giant Guitar appeared first on My Modern Met.
Artists Scott Slagerman and Jim Fishman create objects of beauty from molten glass and fallen trees. Working together, the two have sculpted abstract forms that combine warm woods with cheerful translucent tones. In each of the pieces, the remnants of the tree act as an unconventional vase for the glass, and it fits perfectly within the U-shaped crevice. It’s as if the two disparate materials occur naturally.
Slagerman and Fishman call the collection Wood & Glass, but don’t let the simplicity of the title fool you; the pieces require an extensive knowledge of both woodworking and glass blowing. To produce one sculpture, the design is first drawn on the wood and then the center is extracted from it. Afterwards, molten glass is blown into the empty space and hugs its curves.
Slagerman specializes in glass fabrication and is responsible for the dazzling colors of Wood & Glass. He writes that the very nature of glass is what captivated him years ago. “How it [glass] is transformed from a fragile, yet unyielding solid state to molten fluidity and back again,” he writes, “and how this mutable substance, through a process that is both delicate and dangerous, can create objects both essential and esoteric.”
Scott Slageman: Website
h/t: [Contemporist]
Loved Ones’ Ashes Swirled into Comforting Glass Art Creations
Intricately Crafted Marine Life Specimens Suspended in Glass
Incredibly Lifelike Glass Jellyfish Sculptures by Rick Satava
Scott Bisson Brings Whimsical Creatures to Life with Hand Blown Glass
The post Artists Hand-Blow Molten Glass into Fallen Trees to Create Beautiful Sculptures appeared first on My Modern Met.
If you are among those who love fattening and processed foods or your lifestyle is stagnant or cardiovascular problems run in your family, you have a high risk of developing heart problems.
CVDs or cardiovascular diseases are the leading cause of death in both females and males. Pain in the chest elevated blood pressure, and dizziness are some of the signs you probably know about already. Surprisingly, there are other highly uncommon signs that are a dead giveaway for an unhealthy heart.
These are the grey areas you need to be aware of to build a healthier heart and prevent a heart attack or stroke. If you feel any of these signs of an unhealthy heart, make sure to get in touch with a doctor immediately.
Surprised? Don’t be.
Sleep problems, snoring, and other breathing concerns are primary symptoms of an underlying heart disease. Of course, this does not refer to the occasional all-nighter you pulled or the one time your partner woke up because of your snores. This needs to be a concern that you and your loved ones have noticed for quite awhile.
It is restricted breathing that leads to snoring and sleep apnea. If you notice this symptom, it could be that heart attack is somewhere on the way. Get it checked immediately and find out if you may need some treatment.
Gum and oral health concerns are not simply because you aren’t taking good care of your hygiene. They can be tell-tale signs of more significant problems that your body might be fighting against. Studies have proved that people suffering from periodontal infections are more likely to have heart conditions.
Bad breath, sore and bleeding gums and teeth issues can all indicate an undetected heart disease. Make sure to visit not just your dentist, but your general health physician, too. They will run tests and then tell you whether or not you are at risk.
Not feeling your sexy self in the bedroom? Is erectile dysfunction suddenly making your sex life miserable?
Well, your heart health may be going down.
These days, doctors check all patients with ED and other sexual concerns for heart disease. Studies have shown clearly that men within the age bracket of 40 to 49 with ED are twice more likely to suffer from heart issues.
The reason your libido takes a plunge is that the arteries become narrow and there is fat accumulation in them. This reduces the blood flow to the penis and vaginal area significantly.
Keep in mind that these indications can be the very first symptoms of heart problems. So, if you are facing them, talk to your doctor immediately.
Did you know that people who look older than their actual age have a 40% higher chance of getting a heart attack?
As crazy as this may sound, it is true.
People who have visible aging signs like grey hair, wrinkles, knurly hands, cholesterol deposits on their eyelids and baldness could be suffering from some hidden heart condition. If these people are over the age of 35, they are 57% more at risk of a heart attack.
You think you have these signs? Your doctor will be able to run tests to see whether or not your heart is healthy.
Hairless legs may seem like a dream come true, but experts believe this can actually turn into a nightmare pretty fast. The reason why some people don’t have hairy legs is that their arteries are too narrow and are unable to deliver oxygen and nutrients to the lower body. This simply means that your legs do not get the nutrients required for hair follicles to develop.
Known as the peripheral arterial disease, the condition can lead to poor circulation in the legs, resulting in absence of leg hair. If you have been experiencing this, you need to visit the doctor today and ask them for an accurate diagnosis.
So, are you or any of your loved ones experiencing these 5 weird signs of an unhealthy heart? Don’t delay seeing your doctor as you might be at risk for a heart disease.
See Also: 10 Habits That Can Prevent Heart Disease
The post 5 Weird Signs Of An Unhealthy Heart appeared first on Dumb Little Man.
Happy Thanksgiving! We’re thankful for public lands and all the wonder they provide. Did you know that Benjamin Franklin advocated for the turkey to be our national bird? Thankfully, the majestic bald eagle was chosen instead. Photo from Glacier Bay National Park & Preserve in Alaska by Stewart Brackett (http://ift.tt/18oFfjl).
Your baby has arrived and suddenly, you are looking into the eyes of a total stranger. You love this little being with all your heart and soul but you don’t know him or her at all.
This little creature looks up at you with worshiping adoration and your first thought is “Oh my God. I hope I don’t screw this up”.
You are overly conscious of the fact that you only get one chance to create a close and loving bond between you and this miracle, to do everything to give him his best chance at life. Unfortunately, he came with no instruction manual.
How do you avoid emotionally crippling the one you love most in the world?
Check out these parenting tips that can help you understand your children better.
From the moment they are born, these little ones are watching, figuring and acting.
From making their tiny fingers curl around a bottle to keeping their little hands from hitting themselves in the eye, they must work out and practice.
No one is teaching them. They are teaching themselves.
When my son was 2 weeks old, I had him in his bouncy chair. I watched as he twirled his little foot in a circle to get the chair to bounce gently back and forth.
I held his foot lightly to stop the chair from rocking and then let it go. He did it again. He knew what he was doing and had worked out how to do it.
According to his doctor, he was not supposed to be thinking and working things out at that age. But as I observed my little man closely, I could see- without a doubt- that he was.
His doctor wasn’t looking at the little person in front of him when he made this statement but at a category called “babies”.
Categories are for things, not people. Don’t make that mistake.
Watch your little person, you will see ample evidence of an active little mind working overtime.
Babies are thrust into the birth process with no advance warning. You have had nine months and possibly more to fully prepare yourself, your family, the house and everyone around you for the big day.
This little passenger has not.
He has been in a state of suspended animation that ends abruptly in a cold, bright delivery room with people yelling “PUSH!”. And there’s a strange man grabbing him as he slithers out.
Your baby’s head has been squeezed hard. The medical procedures are painful and everything is in a confusing state.
He is confused to the point that he is the total effect of everything that is happening to him and he is overwhelmed.
The process is such an ordeal that it takes him months to recover.
So, be calm and quiet around your baby. Hold him, rock him and talk gently to him.
Any loud or angry words around him will upset him and make the adjustment difficult or even impossible.
The lights are way too bright for his brand new eyes. The room is cold and your baby is wet and uncomfortable.
He has a fierce headache and there are strange smells. People are talking and making noises and there are movements back and forth.
If you have trouble relating, think how you might feel if you woke up wet and naked in a foreign country and the people around you suddenly started running and yelling. This is the state of a newborn baby.
Your understanding, compassion, and help will feel as if a kind stranger took your arm, covered you to keep you warm and led you to a safe place.
Your baby knows too well that he cannot make it out in the world alone. He has no capability to survive and would not know how to if he did.
Your slight frown can make him anxious. He knows that if he displeases you enough, you may decide to leave him. Although you know you never would, he still doesn’t know that.
He also doesn’t know that someday, he will grow up and be independent. He may think he will be little and totally dependent forever.
With this, your slight disappointment can translate to abandonment to him.
Babies are completely new to this planet. They don’t understand things like gravity.
Yesterday, he dropped an apple or saw you drop one and it fell to the ground. So, how come when he let the balloon string slide from his grasp, the balloon went up?
He is upset. He has lost one of the very few possessions he feels was really his because the universe played a nasty trick on him.
If he lets his balloon go or falls or runs into a wall, don’t ridicule, laugh or yell. Just understand that he didn’t know what was going to happen.
Help him recover from his upset state and just get him a new freaking balloon.
Have you seen how fast babies grow?
If you want to see an example, go to the store and look at the clothes for babies at three months, six months and nine months. The size difference is huge.
Meanwhile, your baby continues to figure out all the zillion things his little body can do and how to do them.
As he grows, he tries to stand.
And let’s face it, baby bodies are not designed with any faintest idea of function in mind.
Their heads are HUGE. They try to stand up and their heads pull them down fast and hard.
Can you imagine trying to walk with a 20-pound pumpkin on your head?
When you look at all of the tiny adjustments he has to make with his little body to make it crawl, stand and walk, you have to admit that it is mastery in physics.
It is the same process that produces a classical ballet dancer or an Olympic gymnast, except that every day his body is different, so the adjustments start all over again.
If he gets cranky, give him a break. He might have sore muscles or is extremely tired because he has been working all day on strengthening and perfecting the use of his growing body.
If he stumbles, he needs your understanding, care, and strong hands ready to stabilize him.
Anyone who has been grabbed by a kind stranger before they hit the ground knows how important that can be.
Communication is the most important thing we have in life. People in seclusion wither and die. Your child knows he cannot communicate and it is frustrating.
When I was 17, my family moved to Brussels for a year. I went to an all girl’s school and was taught in French, which I didn’t know. I cried all the time and I had never felt so lonely.
My schoolmates tried to help me but it wasn’t until I learned French that my depression ended.
Your baby is no different. She has so many questions and observations that she can’t tell you. It is upsetting her because you are the one she wants to communicate with.
She wants to ask you questions, tell you about the bird she sees and get you to look at the sky. Her world is just beginning and opening up in all its wonders and she has no one to share it with.
Watch your little person and try to tune in to what she is trying to tell you. Even if you don’t fully understand, you can at least acknowledge that she has spoken. That way, she’ll realize that she is not invisible and that she is worth to be acknowledged.
Babies understand by perceiving. They tune in to our emotional vibrations.
Have you noticed that when you are upset, even if you don’t show it, he is tense and unhappy?
Babies are like little perception sponges. They absorb your feelings and reflect them. Your unhappiness, anxiety, and worry affect him.
If you can, put your troubles aside when you are near him. Focus on the two of you. It will make you both a lot happier.
Despite the difficult birth process and despite the inability to communicate, there is one thing that your baby knows- he loves you unconditionally.
You are his world. Every effort he makes is to please you.
When he feels that he was able to please you, he feels like he succeeded. So, validate his attempts to help you even if his help is more work for you.
As he gets better, his help will be more effective. Let him have his time and he’ll work it out.
Babies are individuals. They are not categories, personality types or animations.
Some of the labels applied to children are frankly abusive.
The idea that they are all one group of mindless beings that have to be forced into good behavior is outdated and leads to misunderstanding.
These categories and labels have been invented by “scientists” who cannot understand any human being, much less a baby.
A baby is basically a tiny creature who has arrived on earth through a weird and upsetting process. He is thrust into this life with people he doesn’t know, places he has never been and rules and a culture he has never experienced.
Each one has his or her own ideas, viewpoints and goals. Understand this and let them move on with care and guidance from you.
Helping your little man or lady grow into the fine person he or she wants to be is all about understanding and having the right approach.
You love each other and you both have the same goal.
The relief they feel in knowing that they are understood is the difference between living in a calm and secure environment and living in a hostile one.
Remember the relief you felt when you left a bitter and hostile school or work environment and found one that was safe?
Their relief is the same.
And armed with this knowledge, you can make both of your lives easier and happier. You’ll be able to build a bond that can never be broken.
See Also: 8 Ways To Nurture Your Child’s Self-Motivation
The post Parenting Tips: 10 Things You Need To Understand About Your Child appeared first on Dumb Little Man.
Sig Nordal 