News and media is widely accessible these days thanks to modern technology; we can keep up to date at home or on the go, and at any time of the day or night.

It used to be the case that in order to become informed of the current events of the world, we would have to tune in to the TV or radio at certain times throughout the day.

When I was younger, my parents would sit down to watch the main evening news at 6pm everyday- and sometimes again at 9pm. This was extremely upsetting for me and my brothers- as our cartoons were put on hold in favor of current affairs and politics, and other such material that we found uninteresting.

What struck me at the time was how- more often than not- the mood in the room would become slightly tetchy after watching the news. It would usually leave my parents feeling upset, and frustrated.

Similarly, if there were a group of adults watching the news together- for example if we had visitors over- a big discussion would always ensue where everyone would complain about the current state of affairs; a cluster of pessimism.

I always showed my age at the time by thinking- perhaps a little selfishly-

“We’re missing ‘The Simpsons’ for this?!”

As I got older and began to tune in myself- I found that there rarely seemed to be happy or uplifting stories being broadcast, and I can’t recall ever coming away feeling revitalized or enlightened as a result.

So, I made the conscious decision a long time ago to not tune in to the news- of any kind.

Now and again I will have a look at the sports pages- as I am a sports fan- or the gossip column just to keep an eye on what Kourtney, Kim and Khloé are getting up to- but that goes without saying.

I know some will say that it is irresponsible- that we should keep informed with current affairs and what is going on in the world around us- and maybe they are right.

For me though, I like to think that there is much to be gained by taking control of the information we consume.

Health

Stay with me here.

Yes, every nugget of information we absorb on a daily basis is affecting our health- and that includes the type of news we decide to engage with.

In gaining complete control of the material we expose ourselves to- we are taking steps towards improving our health and happiness. I understand that this isn’t always possible to control- but it’s something we can try to keep in mind.

It doesn’t make any sense to me- to invest our time in something that is perhaps going to have a negative impact on our well-being.

Productivity

I’m not sure of the exact figures, but I would guess that we spend a pretty substantial chunk of our week tuned in to news and media.

Why not free up some of that time spent listening to those irritating politicians go around in circles- and dedicate it towards some of the things which we had been putting off.

Maybe it’s the novel we had always dreamed of writing, or the business idea that has been simmering now for some time, or perhaps there is something we simply want to tick off our bucket list- whatever the case- let’s go and get after it.

Mindfulness

When we begin to limit our exposure to news and media, we allow ourselves to become more aware of our thoughts and feelings.

In doing so, we are afforded with the opportunity to listen to our inner voice, and to carry on passionately along the path that was set out for us.

Purpose and Meaning

In the act of looking inward- rather than allowing outside influences dictate our thoughts and actions- we begin to realize what it is that we really want to achieve in life.

We have an opportunity to create our own news- to impact the world and the lives of those around us in a positive way- with desire and fortitude.

The world will continue to turn- whether we decide to tune in or not- but the important thing is that we feel in control of our own destiny.

Like I said, I don’t feel like we are missing out on anything by deciding not to follow the news- quite the opposite actually. I feel like we can be better for it, and have much more to gain by deciding to take control of the information we consume.

If there is something of great importance- or is of relevance to our current situations- I figure we will find out sooner or later.

Who knows, perhaps the day will come when I will feel the need to start following the news- when I have transformed into one of those disagreeable old hecklers from ‘The Muppets’ and have become cynical and battle-hardened from the experiences of life- but I sincerely hope not.

Or better still, maybe by then the news will be filled with positive, inspirational, feel-good content that will leave us feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, excited to go and make the most of the day ahead; to live our lives to the fullest.

Now that is something I would tune in to.

We can live and hope- but until then- I’ll stick to my cartoons.

You can check out Patrick’s self-development website The Irish Introvert, and you can also follow him on Twitter and Facebook. 

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Can one predict their future? Not really. There are ways, however, to help your life steer in the direction you wish. One of the huge benefits, is that you can start today – in fact, right now. The best way to begin, is to research where you currently are (see the graph below).

Now I want you to put an imaginary line on the graph – one that will most accurately show where you stand in it. This should be seen as a progress bar. In order to end up in the purple area, you need to know how close you are to it. A common problem nowadays is that most people happen to know their friends better than they know their own selves. That is also one of the main reasons this article exists. Let’s get started now!

The first exercise that’ll help you, is to make a “priorities list” for the things you love doing. We are looking for things that you can progress in – like playing an instrument for example. I understand drinking beer might be your favorite thing to do, but you can’t get better than other beer lovers. We need things that you’ll constantly improve at. If you find yourself unable to think of anything appropriate to write down, do yourself a favor, and expand on your skill sets. Live by the “Try Everything Once” principle to experience your life to it’s fullest. Wanna learn how to cook? Join a class! Feeling like dancing? Move your body to the nearest club and start shaking it!

Next thing you’ll want to know about yourself, is your insecurities and fears. Yes, I know most people hate doing that, but it’s just as vital for your success as knowing your hobbies. Let’s try observing it from another perspective : your best version is confident. Confident people also have fears and insecurities, but they’re not afraid to admit it. In that sense, understanding what makes you feel uncomfortable is a huge step towards success.

“To overcome your fears, you must first get to know them.”

Body language and social skills are also worth mentioning. Grab a book and read more about those, so you’ll know exactly where you stand. A great way to improve your communication skills, is to constantly keep meeting new people. This will expand your knowledge and you’ll also be able to observe different behavior patterns. Having a good body posture is a must if you want to emit confidence, and using it in your advantage will always benefit you. Get to know how close your current skill set is to that of a confident person, and improve on that.

Habits also have a heavy impact on who you are, and who you’ll become. Learn what’s driving you to light up that morning cigarette, or to have a work out routine. Understand the idea behind every habit you have, and choose which ones to get rid of. Think of it this way : if you could stop smoking, and start spending money only on important things, you’ll have reduced the chances of getting a lung cancer and will have saved enough money to start your own business one day.

Planning your future is a great thing, but plans should be easy to follow, so aiming for something really far ahead won’t benefit you – you’ll find the lack of immediate results frustrating instead. After realizing who you are, you’ll be able to find purpose in your life. At this point, choosing who you want to become will be a piece of a cake.

I’m Todor Kostov from Dive In Success. A blog, in which we express our thoughts on different life-changing topics.

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Shelly Drymon – a Damsel no longer in distress has gone through her own amazing transformation.  She is the founder of The Rescue Yourself Project – where she helps women in mid-life transitions pursue their passion and purpose and to be their own knights in shining armor.  You can read her story on her website – The Rescue Yourself Project.

 

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I want it and I want it now!  We say this to ourselves every single time we demand instant gratification, quick results, or fast progress at something- even though we may sound like children.  There are some ways to actually speed up the way we learn and improve at something however.  Ironically, many of the ways to get better at something fast involve not focusing so much on results, but instead focusing on the process of getting better. 

1. Practice. A lot.

This one might be common sense, but the number one way to get better at something is to practice.  Even if its hard, even if its boring, even if its not fun, if you want to get better at something you need practice.  Through the dedication to practicing and learning, you will develop skill and experience that will make you better at what you are doing.  Whether it’s math, saving money, speed reading, or playing tennis, practicing will help make you better.

2. Read books or articles from experts.

Experts exist in practically every field imaginable.  Many experts get big book contracts to write: articles, blogs, books, and they even do interviews directly passing on the skills and knowledge they learned while mastering an area of expertise;  people are willing to pay big money to learn these lessons straight from an expert who has already been through it.  Books, articles, videos, and speeches from others who are already amazing at what you are trying to learn will make your life easier, motivate you along the way, and help you make your practice more valuable.

3. Practice smarter, not harder (focus on process over production)

As you learn more about the ways that other successful people practice and get better at something, you can try to apply the same techniques to your own practice.  For example: if you are working on developing your public speaking skills and a famous speaker recommends- in an article- to join toastmasters or give speeches each month at a get together, you can implement this practice and increase the speed at which you learn.  Its not always just about working harder, but sometimes we have to learn to work smarter as well.

An easy trap to fall into when trying to get better at something is to focus only on results.  As we focus more on our results over actual improvement, we begin to build pressure on ourselves.  Each time we fall short or fail to meet our expectations, we are hard on ourselves and we can stifle our motivation and drive.  By choosing to focus on the practice and on doing the things we need to do to get better instead of focusing on results, we can lift some of the weight off of our shoulders and really enjoy what we are doing.  By focusing on the process over the product, we can learn to love the journey of getting better. 

4. Set goals.

By setting measurable and precise goals we can better motivate ourselves and measure ourselves against our own goals rather than against other people.  When we compare ourselves against others, we can often be left feeling inadequate or unsatisfied, but when we look at how we’re doing today versus 1 year ago, it becomes much clearer how far we have come along the way.  Additionally, goals help us stay motivated and focused on the things we need to do each day in order to get better. If we set a goal to write an article every day, eventually we are going to write a lot of articles and get much better. 

5. Evaluate and take notes.

Whenever you are practicing, reading, or setting goals, take notes of the process along the way as you learn important new details; you can make notes each time you learn something new, that you can review at a later time.  As you learn new things, you will inevitably begin to focus on new details and you will start to forget older revelations.  By regularly evaluating your progress, results, and the ways in which you are actively seeking to improve, you can make adjustments as needed and cement the things that are working well.

By using these 5 simple tips you can increase your productivity, learn faster, and incorporate new information better.  It may feel counterintuitive to set goals when you could be practicing instead, but you must learn to focus on how to get better more than you focus on just getting better.

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Shane Sorensen is a life coach, nurse, blogger, and the owner of http://ift.tt/1wkNKgQ.  If you would like to learn more you can visit his website, or email him at ShaneSorensen@MakeYourBestSelf.com

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I’m one of those weirdos that prefers reading non-fiction books over fiction books any day of the week — especially when it comes to books about leadership, success and self-help. It’s just my thing. My library is filled with books on how to build and sustain the habits necessary to live the happiest, healthiest, and wealthiest way of life I’m capable of living. And I can tell you without a shadow of doubt that reading these self-help books over the years has definitely transformed my life for the better… But you know what? Every now and then, I’d find myself in the middle of reading one of these books only to realize that it’s filled with nothing more than a bunch of pseudo-science mumbo jumbo disguised as the truth.

And quite frankly, I found this incredibly disturbing. Which is why I decided to put together this list of the 7 scientific self-help books that you can use to transform your life without worrying about whether what you’re reading is fact or fiction. Every book on this list contains information that is researched extensively and exhaustively beyond that of most every other book in the self-help genre.

So, are you ready? Let’s dive in.

#1. Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz

The original scientific self-help book, written by a plastic surgeon who decided that he wanted to go deeper than aesthetics — he wanted to change people’s lives from the inside-out. Pick this one up for a primer on self-image psychology. Buy the book here.

#2. Waking Up by Sam Harris

If you’re curious about spirituality, but prefer not to attach your identity to any specific set of religious beliefs, then the scientific approach to spirituality set forth by neuroscientist Sam Harris in Waking Up could be just what you’ve been looking for. Buy the book here.

#3. The Power of Full Engagement by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz

The big idea behind this book is that our approach to stress management is all wrong — it’s not about managing our time – it’s about managing our energy. Once we can do that, we can begin finding the balance we seek both at work and at home. Buy the book here.

#4. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

No list self-improvement books of any kind is complete without The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. If you had to choose just one single book to dramatically shift your personal development, this is the one you need to go with. Period. Buy the book here.

#5. The ONE Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan

The ONE Thing is a book for anyone who needs crystal clear clarity on how to set and get goals. This book tells us that simplicity is the real secret to success, and it’s got the science to back it up. Buy the book here.

#6. Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

This is a book about the science and psychology of “optimal experience” (translation: how to live the happiest, most enjoyable and fulfilling life possible). If you’re interested in learning about how it feels to use your greatest gifts, skills, and passions in a way that only YOU are capable of using them – then read this book.

#7. The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

In The Power of Habit, you’ll learn the in’s and out’s of habit-formation. In the book, author Charles Duhigg has sifted through the science and busted many commonly-held myths about habit-formation so that all you’re left with are actionable frameworks that you can put to use immediately to help you build lasting habits, and break bad ones. Buy the book here.

Which book will you read first?

Now that you’ve got this list of 7 scientific self-help books — there’s only one question left… Which one do you read first? Should you go out and get all of them immediately? Should you read them all at once? So many options. So little time. Ultimately, it’s totally your decision what you do with this list and how you apply it to your life and career. But if I may, here’s what I would suggest you consider as you get started:

• Subscribe to a book summary site, like FlashNotes Book Summaries to get the key-takeaways from the books on this list.
• If you’d prefer to read an entire book, I would highly suggest that you read just ONE book at a time. Sometimes, when we see something new and exciting, we have tendency to want to do/learn/read it all at once… and as we all know, this is nearly impossible to do without stressing ourselves out. So, choose a book. And then commit to reading it from start to finish.
• If you’re in a rush, try Audio books, or Audible Book Summaries.
• Finally, if you’re in a super rush, checkout some YouTube video book summaries, like this one.

Dean Bokhari is best-selling author and host of Meaningful*FM (MeaningfulHQ.com),one of the web’s most popular personal development podcasts.

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It’s everyone’s nightmare.  Rush hour.  Inching along interminably as too many cars navigate too few lanes, with too many merging in and too few turning off.

Who would have imagined that King Solomon already anticipated the chaos of our highways when he declared, Go, sluggard, and learn from the ant?

As it turns out, ants are better drivers than we are.  And the lessons of their highway habits offer some valuable lessons that extend far beyond the way we drive.

According to NPR, Apoorva Nagar discovered the connection in a study by German and Indian researchers.  Apparently, traveling ants are able to maintain a constant speed regardless of the number of ants on the path.  In other words, even at rush hour, ant traffic carries on unimpeded.

Professor Nagar, a physicist at the Indian Institute of Space Science and Technology, suggests three reasons why ants don’t bottleneck as traffic flow increases.  First, ants don’t have egos.  They don’t need to be first, don’t need to show off, and don’t take it personally when another ant cuts in front of them.

Second, they don’t mind fender-benders.  Sure, a multi-ant pile will slow them down.  But a few minor bumps and scrapes have little impact on their progress.  Even with incidental bumping and knocking, the ants just keep on moving forward.  Needless to say, humans would never tolerate the most glancing or superficial collisions, even if the law permitted it.

And third, says Professor Nagar, ants get more disciplined as the crowd thickens:  they hold their speed steadier and make fewer twists and turns.  In contrast to human drivers who cut in and out while breaking and accelerating, ant discipline creates a road culture of greater predictability and, consequently, greater safety and consistency.

Granted that ant behavior may have limited practical application to human driving habits and traffic patterns, the observations offered by Professor Nagar suggest other benefits to improve the quality of daily life.

NO EGO

Have you ever watched someone else hopelessly caught up in his own ego-gratification?  Sometimes it’s the driver trapped behind a slow-moving car, desperately looking for a chance to break out and around.  And what happens when he gets his chance?  More often than not, you catch up to him stuck behind the next car or idling at the next stoplight.

Or what about the person who has to be the center of attention or the life of the party?  He thinks he’s the darling of the crowd, but the dismayed expressions among his captive audience frequently tell a different story.

When we stop worrying about where we rank compared to others and stop needing others to validate our existence, we become a lot more comfortable with where we are and end up making progress with far greater efficiency.

It’s actually pretty easy when we start asking ourselves the right questions:

• What do I gain by trying to be first?
• Are the people I’m trying to impress going to be impressed?
• Are the people who are going to be impressed worth impressing?
• Didn’t I read a story once about a tortoise and a hare?

IS IT WORTH IT?

We’ve heard it before:

Don’t sweat the small stuff.  And so much of it really is small stuff.

Sure, I enjoy the frequent fantasy of trading in my ‘98 Camry for a new… anything.  But until I do, I’ll never have to worry about the latest scratch, dent, or interior stain the way I would if I were driving a Mercedes… or even a new Subaru.

The truth is, the shinier our toys are, the more we notice when the shine starts to fade, and our mood fades just as quickly.  That’s only natural, since those scrapes and blemishes are all tied up with our first problem… ego.

That scuffed bumper is a reflection on me, isn’t it?  It reflects either my own driving or my slothfulness repairing damage inflicted on me by someone else.  Of course, it might reflect the sanity of my priorities, that I don’t want to take hours away from my family and friends and community and personal growth so that my car can be pristine (while waiting for the next minor accident to send me back to the repair shop).

And it’s not just our cars.  The human eye and mind seek out every imperfection on which to fixate, whether it’s a loose thread or a tilted picture, a sore toe or a pesky hangnail.  If anything is 99% perfect, that last one percent becomes all the more intolerable, invalidating everything that is as it should be.

Which is the perfect time for another list of questions:

• Overall, are things good or bad?
• By how much does the good outweigh the bad?
• Is it reasonable to let so little that’s not quite right cancel out so much that is?
• Is anything every perfect?

TIME TO PAY ATTENTION

As tension builds, we start looking for a way out.  Maybe what we should be looking for is a way in.  Like the ants who become more focused as traffic increases.

The truth is, stress and tension are products of our bodies preparing us to enter into survival mode.  When we respond by heightening our awareness of the challenges that face us and steeling ourselves to meet them, we can propel our productivity and success to unprecedented levels.  Not only do we manage the job at hand, but we increase our ability to overcome greater obstacles that lie ahead.

It’s a win-win.

But it demands that we reframe, that we stop looking at obstacles as impediments to progress and start seeing them as opportunities for development and self-improvement.  And that outlook starts with more questions:

• Why do we think no pain, no gain applies only at the gym?
• Haven’t our most satisfying moments come through struggle?
• If we can’t change where we are, isn’t changing how we deal with it is our only option?
• If I handle a difficult situation better, might others follow my example and help the situation improve on its own?

After all, what’s the point of an obstacle course?  We could traverse the course much faster without all those obstacles, no?  But then what would we have accomplished?

And isn’t life the greatest obstacle course of all?

Rabbi Yonason Goldson, a talmudic scholar and former hitchhiker, circumnavigator, and newspaper columnist, lives in St. Louis, MO, where he teaches, writes, and lectures.  His new book Proverbial Beauty:  Secrets for success and happiness from the wisdom of the ages is due out in July.  Visit him at http://ift.tt/1yTxW6j.

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