We’ve all been there and we all go through this. The emotional crash. The big dump. We have put up with more than we can handle and we are pretty sure we can’t take much more. The whole world can just disappear, any day now, and you’d be a happy person. You wish everyone and everything would just go away or, at the very least, leave you alone for a day, a week maybe even a month.

Emotional crashes are hard. We aren’t sure when things will get better or when we can smile and breathe easy again. No one likes them, you can’t avoid them, no matter how hard you try and just wish there was an easy way to get through it or even a magic pill you could take that will make everything be better in an instant. Well short of taking mind altering drugs which I would never recommend, there are a few things you can do and say to yourself to help you get through this dreadful period.

1. It’s ok to cry.

Many of us try to be strong for our friends, family or whoever is involved in whatever situation happening at the moment, but fact of the matter is, even strong people need to stop, break down and cry. We can’t expect to be strong 100% of the time. If you need to lock yourself in the bathroom, go up to the top of a mountain and scream or call a friend and grab a shoulder to cry on, do it. Releasing all that pent up emotion is good for you. Remind yourself it’s ok to cry.

2. Your friends really do want you to call them.

We don’t want to bother anyone right? Jane has enough problems of her own she certainly doesn’t need to hear mine. No one wants to listen to me cry about my problems. All that is wrong. Your friends care about you and always want you to reach out to them when you need them. They would be sad or hurt if you didn’t. If they don’t want you to reach out then they aren’t true friends. It’s ok to call your friends. They want you to.

3. I need a break.

Yes, you do and you need to give yourself permission to take one. The world will still go on without you; people will figure stuff out on their own. You don’t have all the answers to all the problems and it’s time you stopped acting like you did. You aren’t a made of steel. You are a human with feelings and a breaking point. Stop and give yourself a break, before you break.

4. You did the best you could.

There is nothing left for you to do. You did whatever you could with what you know and have. Be proud of yourself for at least that much. Most people would have stopped a long time ago but you didn’t. You persevered and kept going until you just couldn’t anymore.  Good for you, good job. Tell yourself you did a good job and the rest will just work itself out.

5. Things will be better tomorrow.

I know cliché but it’s true. Tomorrow is a new day, with a fresh start, a fresh mind and maybe even more optimistic. Things will be better. You can’t do anymore today and you need to rest. Know that you did the best, it’s time to let it be, and tomorrow things will start looking up. Keep telling yourself and you will believe it. Tomorrow is a new and better day.

6. Everything is temporary.

Even your emotions. You may be drained right now and probably have been for a while now but it will end. It will all end soon. Things will get better and in 6 months or a year from now you can look back on this period and pride yourself on how managed to overcome it and see how much stronger you are for it today.

So many things come hurtling at us from all angles and it seems all at the same time. Things will work themselves out, and things will get better. Have faith. This too shall pass.

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It’s so easy to fall into a self doubt trap. We doubt our ability as parents, employees, bosses and many other things. Many of us carry that niggling feeling that we might be doing something wrong, maybe we’re not cut out for this, maybe we’re not smart enough to handle this job. Never giving ourselves enough credit for just being ourselves. Where did our self confidence go and we can ever get it back? Some of us have never even had the taste of self confidence and wouldn’t know how to go about getting some. There are definitely ways to turn self doubt into self confidence.

Self doubt or limiting beliefs often stems from something from our past. It could have been the way we were raised or the way an ex wife or husband treated us. It might have even been carried over from elementary school if you were bullied as a child growing up. Whatever the case may be, you have plenty of self doubt and here is a small list of ways to turn that into self confidence.

1. They don’t really know you.

Remember that. The people from school that bullied you or maybe your boss or coworker who don’t think you are smart enough or good enough. They have no idea who you are, what’s inside of you and what you are capable of. You are brilliant and extremely smart. Anything they ever said to cut you down was their perception of you and none of that matters. Their opinions, perceptions or judgement of you is simply a reflection of them. Don’t forget that. You are far better than that and you already know that.

2. Remind yourself that you can handle and do anything.

We don’t give ourselves enough credit for our skills and talents and we are constantly fearing failure. You won’t fail. You won’t ever fail at anything. Failure is never an option. You will try, you will give it your best shot and you will either succeed or learn. Either way, you win. Trying or doing anything new is scary even for the bravest and smartest person in the world, but they still do it. That’s how you grow.

3. Just do it.

Whatever it is that is gnawing at you that is scaring you or holding you back from doing something, you need to face it, take a big deep breath and just go. Do it. Stepping out of our comfort zones and doing things is a very scary thing and because for so many years we have been led to believe that we can’t do anything, when we finally decided we want to do something, those old voices pop up in our heads. Shut them up and go do that thing.

4. Mirror work and talk.

This one is awkward, silly but fun. Go look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how incredibly amazing you are and how great you are at doing anything and everything. It is up to you to convince yourself of how awesomely talented you are. You aren’t here to impress anybody but yourself. Life isn’t a competition. It’s you against you, so you need to tell you how fantastic you are.

5. A reward awaits you.

Ah the great reward. Who doesn’t want one? Remember when you finally overcome self doubt and achieve a level of self confidence you will do things you once thought you never could. The result? A great reward. A great pat on the back. A fantastic level of accomplishment unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. Self confidence has its own rewards and they are all centred around the self. Way to go you, you did it.

Shutting down limiting beliefs is not an easy thing to do and many of us do require the help of a professional to get over this. However, you need to do it, whatever it takes, the rewards of letting go of limiting beliefs is wonderful. You will reach a whole new level of amazing and the sky will then be the limit.

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Yes you read it correctly; it’s okay to lose people in your life. Many people however, think the opposite. When a relationship is about to end between us and someone we care about, we often make an attempt to do everything we can to make sure that person will stay in our lives. It may be our partner, a good friend, a family member or whoever we feel close connected with.

Although it’s a noble action to fight for someone, it isn’t always the best thing for us to do. When we fight for someone to keep them part of our lives we often think with our hearts instead of our brains. We react based on our emotions and that often leads to neglecting the reasons on why it’s perhaps necessary to let go of these people. There are good reasons on why we shouldn’t feel bad to cut ties with some people. Let’s take a look at them.

1. You’re evolving

When you become older and more experienced in life you’ll start to think differently. These experiences shape you and most likely you’ll start to look at things through a different way. You’re growing through life and your standards are rising. This is a good thing, however, for some people that have known you for a while like your close friends and family members this ‘sudden change’ might seem like a shock. They have always remembered you as the person they knew from so many years ago, and to see you change like that might scare them. They might blame you for being a totally different person and that they don’t know you anymore. In other words, they want to make you feel guilty just because you progressed in life. These people do the exact opposite of encouraging your growth; they’re trying to make you stay at the same ‘level’ for your whole life. You don’t need these types of people in your life. You shouldn’t be around people that make you feel guilty for evolving into a better person that wants more out of life than 10 years ago.

2. Respect yourself enough

Some people in your life will do anything to get what they want without caring how it will affect you. These types of people are the best example of the so-called ‘takers’ in life. They act like they care about you, but that’s only because they need you. They pretend that they will be there for you when you need something, but when you need them they’re nowhere to find, except for their excuses. All they do is take in the relationship, but they never give back something of value to you. Sometimes enough is enough. You must set boundaries for yourself on how far you’re willing to go for someone. You need to let people know that you are not the type of person to be played with. Respect yourself enough to only allow people in your life that will return the same ‘amount’ of love that you’re giving them. These types of people genuinely want the best for you and are there for you no matter the situation.

3. Sometimes things just don’t work out

You’ve probably heard before that you shouldn’t try to force things that have to happen naturally. Well, the same thing applies to your relationships with your friends, acquaintances and even your family members. When you still fail to build some ‘sort of a relationship’ with someone even after you tried a couple of times then perhaps it’s better for your own well-being to accept the situation for what it is. Sometimes it’s more painful to hold on to something that isn’t there (anymore) than the pain of letting go. You can’t have a good relationship with everyone in your life that you’ll ever meet and that’s okay.  Some people only come into your life to teach you the lessons you need to learn at that moment in your life. Accepting this will save you a lot of energy, time and pain in the long run.

It’s often a very good thing to fight for someone to keep them in your life. It shows that you’re not the type of person that easily gives up on the people that you care about. However, you need to consider your own well-being first. If the relationship is toxic and doesn’t add any positive value to your life then perhaps your life might be better without that person. Take care of yourself first, because in the end you are your longest commitment.

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