You’re reading How To Create Success Despite the Hardships of Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

I’ve always been passionate about financial freedom, creating my own wealth and living debt free. Ever since I was a teenager, I had big dreams to buy my first house, (in cash) 2 years after finishing university, and pay off all my student loans within the first year of graduating. Life was going to be great! I was determined to become a surgeon, make good money but still make my own hours so that I could be home with my future family and children. Which reminds me, somewhere in along the way I would attend medical school, complete a residency of sorts, get married and have children, all while living debt free…

As you can imagine, that didn’t happen. My well thought out plans completely fell apart after my first year of university while I was struggling just to pass all my courses. Needless to say, I began to rethink the “becoming a surgeon” part of my plan, and since I was consistently paying rent late and borrowing money from family members to make ends meet, that “debt free” part wasn’t looking too hot either. School quickly became overwhelming, and as I transitioned from an A+ student to a “Thank God I passed that class” student.

I couldn’t tell if I was rethinking medical school because I truly didn’t want to do it anymore, or simply because I wasn’t doing well in school. The worst part about it was that for years I had proudly proclaimed my intentions and determination to become a surgeon to family and friends, to the point where everyone knew that I was a going be a doctor.

I may as well have already had the white coat. So now I’m finished first year, passed all my classes (Praise God) still rethinking medical school, decided to change my program to psychology of all things, and incurred the full wrath, I mean love, of family and friends. Utterly confused, they were asking why I changed my program, who is distracting me, why I’m not doing well, and on and on the questioning continued.

I didn’t have the answers. I didn’t know exactly where I was headed anymore, nor when I would arrive, nor how profitable my new career would be. Because let’s face it, when you study psychology, everyone’s question is “what are you going to do with that?”, and truth be told I had no idea.

To make matters worse, and I began to put on weight, and my energy began to deteriorate. I figured living on a student budget and exercising less plus the stress of school was the cause of the weight gain, I had no idea at the time that they were early signs of depression and anxiety. Fast forward a couple years, another program change, marriage, another program change, starting an online business, and about 5 major breakdowns later, I realized that what I was feeling was probably more than just the stress of school.

I kept waiting for the overwhelming feeling of exhaustion to lift. I couldn’t understand why it was so hard for me to exercise, or cook, or even just meet up with friends. I kept thinking to myself “Ruth-Joy what’s wrong with you, just do the assignment, or just call her back or just do the laundry”. But I couldn’t. I was handing in assignments late or not at all, showing up to events late, avoiding people’s calls, and constantly eating fast food because I didn’t have the energy to cook.

I used to be the person who got things done. I’m all about the action, so if you had a plan or a goal or a dream, I was the go to person to help you get from an idea to reality, but not anymore. I could barely do the basics for myself, let alone help others. I eventually sought help and realized that my breakdowns were symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks and my exhaustion was a symptom of depression.

But I didn’t want to be someone who had depression, I didn’t even want to say it out loud. I figured, I’ll finish school, and the stress will go away and everything will go back to normal – I’ll go back to normal. But that didn’t happen. The semester ended and I still couldn’t shake the exhaustion. I didn’t want to accept that I was struggling with mental health because I felt like that’s how people would see me. It made me feel like I would never have the motivation to lose the weight, or successfully run my business, or even be able to cook for myself as often as I once did, and that felt like defeat to me.

I wasn’t ready to give in, but at the same time I needed to realize that I was struggling with something real and that in order not to be defeated by it, I needed to accept the reality of my current situation. I began to put some tactics into place that would help me accomplish a little every day. I gave myself permission to only exercise for 15 minute a day, and if I didn’t want to continue after that, it was okay. I told myself, I only needed to do one thing for my business a day, even if it was as small as a 5 minute task. I permitted myself to only schedule 1 hang-out with a friend a week, and limit the time if necessary. The point is, I slowed down… a lot, but I was determined not to stop.

I’ve had to redefine motivation and teach myself discipline. Motivation was only enough to get me started, but wouldn’t sustain me when I got to the point that I wanted to give up – that’s where discipline kicked in. For me discipline is doing what you should do even when you don’t want to, and I can tell you I often didn’t want to.

I put systems into place that made it easier for me to succeed, like wearing my exercise clothes all day if necessary, all so I could do 15 minutes of exercise. I learned to recognize and appreciate small victories like doing laundry, or cooking a meal, and I learned to be forgiving with myself. This whole experience has taught me how to keep moving forward, even when I feel like I have nothing to give, or when it looks like I’m not making any progress, or when the goal seems overwhelming.

I’ve learned and continue to learn how to break down tasks to be more manageable so that I can take a few steps forward every day, getting one step closer to my goals with each task.Everyone in life faces challenges.

Yours may not be depression or anxiety, it may be the loss of a loved one, it could be financial, you may feel crippled by the weight of your dreams or by the expectation of others or even yourself, but I am proof and hope that you can make it. I myself am still learning, and still taking small steps each day, but I’m moving forward and so can you! Life may slow you down – it may take you from sprinting, to jogging, to walking, and maybe even slow you to a crawl.

That’s okay, but never let it stop you. No matter how small that step is towards your goal, take it; keep moving forward no matter how slow. I’m 4 courses away from finishing my 2^nd university degree, no easy journey as you can tell, but I’m still closer today than I was yesterday. I believe all things are possible, not all at once, but definitely with time. You can accomplish anything you put your mind to, so dream big, someone is counting on your struggle to inspire them. I hope this encourages you to take a step today.

Until next time, I’ve been Ruth-Joy Connell.

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Salutations, Ruth-Joy Connell here and I am a problem solver. I love to create solutions to problems, and I’m passionate about helping people accomplish their dreams. I believe that anybody can live their dream life, and I’m passionate about helping entrepreneurs set and reach their goals. I’m a university student completing my second degree in neuroscience and mental health. I’m married, I love to travel and I would not have made it to where I am today without Jesus. You can connect with me, via my website at http://ift.tt/2xD2MVa and you can grab a free gift here Free Goals Guide!

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You’re reading 5 Ways to Create Your Own Work and Life Balance, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

The pace of life today can sometimes make it feel like you’re walking a tightrope. You’re trying to balance the need to be engaged in your business and get projects done with the need to be present at home, have a fulfilling personal life and avoid burnout. This is really nothing new for small business owners devoted to helping their businesses grow and thrive.

There are many ways to find that balance (and I hope you’ll share your own ideas in the comments), but here are the five things I’ve found that really help me remain grounded, balanced and comfortable on the high wire.

1. Recognize the Problem

It’s very common for small business owners to spend their work week ignoring the clock. In fact, I would often get a phone call from my wife at 2 a.m. wondering if she should just bring me a sleeping bag from home. That was my cue that it was time to call it a day.

I wasn’t ignoring home, but I was anxiously engaged and very motivated, so the hours just slipped by. Unfortunately, while invigorating, it doesn’t take long for the endless hours on the job to take their toll. Even though I loved what I was doing, the lack of sleep and never being home not only caused a bit of family strife—I also found myself struggling to concentrate and more likely to forget things. I was a little more irritable, too. Things that were really no big deal became really annoying.

I recognized that there would always be things that needed attention. I could work 24/7 and still have things that needed to be done, so I decided to set a time each night when I would leave my business for the day. To be fair, saying I was going to do it was easier than doing it, but my mood improved and I was more productive during the hours I was there. That shouldn’t have been a surprise, because most research on the subject suggests those who achieve a good work/life balance are more productive than those who don’t. (One example is a study conducted by the Corporate Executive Board, which represents 80 percent of Fortune 500 companies, and reports that employees who feel they have a good work/life balance are 21 percent more productive than those who don’t.) Although much of the research is based on employees, I found the same to be true as a business owner.

2. Set Boundaries

Count the times this week that you disengage from a conversation with someone to look at your smartphone because it’s beeped, chirped or buzzed. You might be surprised at how distracted you really are. I found myself, sometimes mid-sentence, stopping to check an incoming text message or email. I’ve also noticed my wife (or one of my friends) abruptly stop talking because I was not paying attention to what they were saying because I was distracted by something on my smartphone.

The good news is that when I started ignoring my Pavlovian reaction to my phone buzzing, I became more engaged in conversations, meetings and my interactions with others. What’s more, the phantom phone buzz in my pocket (yes, it’s a common phenomenon) went away. And, like any recovering addict, I am now sometimes frustrated when I’m ignored by someone answering his or her smartphone’s siren song in the middle of a conversation with me.

3. Set Aside Time for Sleep

One of the hallmark talents of successful small business owners is their ability to creatively problem-solve. Downtime, or sleep, positively impacts your brain’s ability to function. Sleep deficiency alters the way your brain works and makes it more difficult to make decisions, solve problems, control your emotions and cope with change—all critical abilities for small business owners. What’s more, sleep deficiency has also been linked to depression, suicide and risk-taking behavior.

Although there is no cut and dried answer to exactly how much sleep you might need, I’d suggest three or four hours probably isn’t enough. Even though everyone is different, seven to nine hours of sleep is probably the goal you should shoot for. If you don’t get enough sleep, your brain can shut down in what’s called “micro-sleep.” In other words, little bursts of sleep that can happen when you’re normally awake. In fact, some studies have shown that sleep deficiency (drowsy driving, for example) can impact your ability behind the wheel of a car as much, or more, than driving under the influence of alcohol.

4. That Vacation You’ve Been Putting Off Is Important to Your Mental Health

Active leisure pursuits and activities like taking a vacation help buffer or eliminate job stress. After a successful vacation, you will be able to return to your business reinvigorated and ready to make decisions and tackle challenges. These benefits also extend to family relationships and can contribute to family bonding, communication and solidarity. Vacations promote what’s called a “crescive bond” or shared experience to help promote these ties, according to Xinran Lehto and a group of researchers from Purdue.

5. Disconnect Before Bed

According to the National Sleep Foundation, “Living in our 24/7 society, there is a loss of the evening reduction in light that has traditionally cued our brains to ‘wind down’ for sleep.”

In other words, they suggest there’s a strong correlation to the light emitted by our electronic devices and the role it could be playing in our ability to easily fall asleep. “Photoreceptors in the retina sense light and dark, signaling our brain about the status of the outside world and aligning our circadian rhythms (centered in a small region of the hypothalamus called the suprachiasmatic nucleaus) to the external day-night cycle. This signaling of light and dark helps us be alert in the morning and fall asleep at the appropriate time at night.

We’ve already talked about the importance of getting enough sleep. Opening up your backlit computer screen, your smartphone, or tablet as you climb into bed might be part of what makes it difficult to fall asleep at night.

Work/Life Balance or Work/Life Integration

The nature of how we work has changed a lot since I began my career over 35 years ago. What works for you might not be the same as what works for someone else, so finding the balance for you may be different from what I need to find balance in my life. Nevertheless, these five suggestions will help you discover the strategy that will work for you.

I’m not sure balance is even the right word for it anymore. I’m of the opinion that we need to integrate our professional lives with our personal lives in such a way that we have adequate time away from work, and are able to get the amount of sleep our mind and body needs to keep our brain functioning properly.

How do you balance your work life with your life away from work? Please share your tactics in the comment section.

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Ty Kiisel is a contributing author focusing on small business financing at OnDeck, a technology company solving small business’s biggest challenge: access to capital. With over 25 years of experience in the trenches of small business, Ty shares personal experiences and valuable tips to help small business owners become more financially responsible. OnDeck can also be found on Facebook and Twitter.

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You’re reading 5 Things Productive People Do Every Night, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Though we often assume that a good night’s sleep starts when we turn off the lights, setting yourself up for a restful seven to eight hours goes far beyond closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths. The routine we follow before we turn down the covers can have a greater impact on our hours of rest than anything that happens overnight, equipping us for a more restful, productive night’s sleep. Start with these five steps to capitalize on that crucial time, and improve your odds of waking up feeling truly rested each morning.

Get organized

You know you have a full schedule tomorrow, and you’re already thinking about it. Rather than letting the next day’s obligations hang over your head as you binge-watch one of your go-to shows, clinical psychologist and specialist in sleep medicine, Michael Breus says to set aside a few minutes between dinner and bedtime to get organized ahead of your busy day. If bringing running clothes to work with you cuts down on your morning stress and rush, make time to do so. If having a pre-packed lunch keeps you eating healthy, nutritious food (rather than making a regretful stop at the office cafeteria), then pack a bag the night before. Instead of tossing and turning while imagining the amount of tasks awaiting you when the alarm goes off, you’ll be able to fall asleep knowing you’re organized and ready for the day to come.

Unplug

With the amount of devices at our disposal, it’s not surprising that this is such a difficult task for most of us. However, we now know for a fact that harsh blue light emitted from phone, television, and tablet screens has been proven to alter the body’s natural production of melatonin before bed, confusing our internal clock and making winding down more difficult. The National Sleep Foundation recommends removing electronic devices that you use at close range from your bedroom to eliminate their impact on your sleep. If you must use a device before bed, switch it to a dimmer, night-specific screen setting, or make it something that you can set up further away from your eyes, like a television instead of a smartphone. If you really want to see a difference, follow the National Sleep Foundation’s suggestion to turn devices off an hour before bedtime to let your mind wind down at its own pace.

Take care of your body

Though we’d all love to get a massage each evening before bed, for most of us, that’s just not a reality. Instead, one of the easiest ways to take care of your body without adding an extra obligation to your schedule is to invest in a quality mattress. Doing your homework and picking out the right mattress once will ensure that poor support doesn’t impact your quality of rest and your physical well-being over time, making you less productive. Not sure where to start or wondering why your current mattress has never felt right? The average person will spend about 23,000 hours on their mattress over the course of its eight year lifespan, so do your research to ensure you make a smart, informed investment in a mattress and your overall health.

Read

For most of us, reading an actual book has fallen to the wayside in favor of quick articles, social media scrolling, and television, but researchers have proven that reading is still far better at banishing stress than any more modern habits. In fact, in a 2009 study, cognitive neuropsychologist Dr. David Lewis concluded that reading lowers stress levels by up to 68 percent, which is more than listening to music, taking a walk, or having a cup of tea or coffee. Try incorporating a few pages of a book into your evening routine, perhaps alongside a steaming mug of (decaf) tea, and relish the chance to engage your imagination and engross yourself in the world between the pages.

Meditate

This revered wellness practice touts dozens of physical and mental benefits, but trying to empty your mind for 20 minutes right off the bat is enough to make most novice meditators give up. Easing into the practice, either with a few minutes of mindfulness meditation or the structure of a guided practice from an app or video, will help you slowly integrate it into your nightly routine in an accessible way. As an added plus, meditation also acts as a powerful complement to existing physical activities or fitness routines. According to Parinaz Samimi, a health and wellness consultant at mattressfirm.com, “[Meditation] helped me find myself . . . It reminds me not to be so quick to judge new experiences, new people, or even myself.”

Now that you’re armed with these tips, be diligent in keeping your pre-bedtime ritual a part of your everyday thinking. Continue to stay informed, and you’ll soon develop a wind-down routine that’s both practical and productive for your everyday life, and sets you up for the best night’s sleep possible.

 

You’ve read 5 Things Productive People Do Every Night, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading Benefits of Jealousy: 7 Steps to Turn Your Envy into Motivation, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

We all are humans and we are formed by our feelings and emotions. Our emotional state and behavior show our true nature. The way we act and interact with other people shows who we are. We live through both positive and negative emotions. We will surely feel the whole variety of them. Nevertheless, it does not mean that we will definitely feel all of them all time long. It is better to avoid negativism, which can ruin our life. Jealousy and envy are amongst the most conventional and unpleasant emotions that have many negative aspects.

Many people consider these two human emotions as interchangeable feelings. This is a negative emotional response to the action of some people or some events. Nevertheless, their classification is different. It is true that they have a lot in common. Nevertheless, there are differences as well. Envy is the emotion of coveting somebody else possesses. It focuses on the local negativism in the regard of a definite person.

In the meanwhile, jealousy is referred to the fear of losing something. It concentrates on the rivalry itself. Jealousy is solely a negative emotion. However, envy may be reviewed in a positive way because it may bring some dividends to people who envy. They may make them better.

The reasons for envy are various. Some people may think that the success of the others in unfair. The others think that a person may stand in their way and would allow developing properly. Some of the studies registered that our brain reacts to the emotion of envy as if it was a physical pain. As you can see, this matter is serious. However, we can use it for our purposes as well.

Right now, we will learn some intriguing and helpful facts about how to turn envy into your friend and enjoy some profit for self-improvement. How can we turn envy or even jealousy to our advantage?

First of all, you should identify the reasons for your jealousy or envy. Afterward, build a strategy of making use out of it. Here are some useful things that you can learn from the success of the people you envy.

• Learn some lessons. Each successful story has a lot to teach. Think about the helpful things that you can remember to use for your own purposes.
• Reconsider your mistakes. You should ask yourself about the things that left you behind. Probably, you had the same capabilities as your rival but you have somehow missed the opportunity. Analyze the way to the success of your rival.
• Set the right standards. Another thing to make allowances for is to have the reasonable and realistic standards. Probably, yours were too low and they affected your progress in a negative way. On the other hand, you might have had too high expectations, which were not possible to reach.
• Recognize the success of your rivals. One of the most controversial but essential things is the recognition of the achievements of other people. You should find strength and admit their success. In such way, you will be able to think calmly. You will clearly realize the way they achieved those heights.
• Start admiring the others. You should be able to turn your envy into admiration. Instead of hating other people for their prosperity, praise their achievements and learn useful tips.
• Mimic your rivals. As your rivals have reached great success, their methods were correct. Try to repeat their way to success step by step each day.
• Define the point of no return. It is obvious that your rivals slipped up at a definite point. You should identify where you started falling behind and never repeat those mistakes again.

These conclusions are vital and can serve your purpose. You should always keep in mind that you can have the same things too. Evaluate your perspectives and the achievements of your rivals. Try to compare them and start working on yourself.

Don’t forget your strong sides and use them for the maximum success. Quite soon, you will celebrate the great achievements of your own and will impress everybody making them envious.

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Petra Mainer is a blogger who is currently writing for GradeScout. She studies Information Management, and now she is eager to become a regular contributor for different entertainment and digital blogs. You can follow her on Twitter @PetraMainer.

You’ve read Benefits of Jealousy: 7 Steps to Turn Your Envy into Motivation, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading 6 Simple Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

You’ll never be good enough. You can’t do it. Stop wasting your time.

That’s the voice inside your head trying to prevent you from success.

Think you’re alone? Think again.

We often assume that successful, confident people never have any doubts. We believe their decisions come easy and are never accompanied by regrets; however, that belief couldn’t be further from the truth.

Self-doubt is a natural human response to all the challenges life throws at us – acting as a mechanism to prevent us from facing failure. This may be useful in a life or death situation, but not so much when you are pondering talking to your boss about that promotion or unsure if you should sign up for the 5k road race.

In these situations, we often find our thoughts of uncertainty overstaying their welcome.

Erin Hanson provides the best advice anyone can give on second guessing themselves, “What if I fall? Oh, but my darling. What if you fly?”

Let that sink in for a moment.

Here are six ways to overcome self-doubt:

1.You’re not alone

Believing that you’re the only one with doubts is a sure fire way to set yourself up for failure. It’s important to understand that you’re not alone and that everyone goes through phases of uncertainty. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Overthinking will only make matters worse and you’ll end up creating problems that aren’t even there.

2. Become present

Self-doubt is often an unwanted consequence due to overthinking. Focusing on the present rather than the future or the past can provide your mind with much needed clarity, allowing you to refocus and push forward.

A simple mindfulness exercise such as sitting down while practicing deep breathing or a few minutes of guided meditation can help cure your indecision. With a fresh perspective you’ll be able to regain your focus and tackle whatever doubts you had before.

3. Set actionable goals

Still in a rut? Small accomplishments are one of the simplest tactics to get yourself out of a funk. Your goals don’t need to be the size of Goliath, requiring the perfect shot to defeat.

By breaking your goals into smaller, more actionable chunks it’ll ease the overwhelming stress of figuring out where to start. The sense of achievement you’ll experience from crossing each step off your list will lead to a boost of morale and keep you striving towards the finish line.

4. Surround yourself with optimism

Surrounding yourself with positive influences is a great way to keep you moving in the right direction. Keep those that provide you encouragement close to you and seek their advice when things go wrong.

Having the support of family and friends can help keep you motivated when you’re unsure of the next step to take. And don’t forget to distance yourself from those that don’t believe in you or provide any sense of negativity.

5. Believe in yourself

The underlying cause of self-doubt is from not believing in yourself. This is the perfect opportunity to relish in past success. Use prior accomplishments as leverage to dismiss your current fears. You’ve been here before. You’ve doubted yourself in the past and you’re still here — this time is no different. Believe in who you are, in what you’re going to achieve, and don’t be afraid to take a chance.

6. Prove others wrong

Haters are going to hate. Doubters are going to doubt. Sometimes people fill your mind with fears because they’re too afraid to follow their own dreams, or they failed once, or because they’re flat out jealous. Frankly, their reasons are meaningless. Don’t allow the limited beliefs of someone else impact you in anyway. Use their doubts as fuel along your journey.

Self-doubt gives us an easy out – allowing us to avoid our fears and protect ourselves from being hurt by failure. However, bowing down to indecision is what we should be fearing. There is nothing wrong with trying or failing. Great things happen outside of your comfort zone. Sometimes you need to take risks, block out the doubts, and just take a shot.

After overcoming a medical trauma, Gary has been inspiring others to overcome their challenges. For more inspiration and to learn more about his story, visit laughatadversity.com

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You’re reading 6 Effective Ways to stop Pretending and be Original, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion. – Dale Carnegie.

We are creature of ego; we try to hide our feeling often, mostly we don’t want others to know our weakness and to let them realized that we are independent and don’t need anyone intervention to be free, to make decisions and capable enough, whereas deep down we have so many things we are ignorant of or need the help of someone better than we do.

You might be hurt by friends, family and others, just because of the doctrine we have been ignorantly belief in makes us to keep calm when we ought to talk, Accept bully when we ought to reject it, Silent when we ought to speak, apologize when we are right, correct someone who is wrong; but we didn’t act just because you believe someone will form an opinion about your actions.

When an introvert doesn’t have to pretend and act to be an extrovert, thinking that’s the only way to get accepted.

When black don’t have to bleach their skin to resemble a white man. Thinking that’s the best way he can get accepted and look beautiful (Self-Acceptance).

When we are free to talk, play and expressed our mind fully without been fake.

Being original means been unique and don’t have to compare yourself with others, rather think everyone is Special in his own nature.

One of the lessons I have learnt the hard way is to speak my mind at any time, Forgive when I need to, ask for a help whenever I am lost, apologize when wrong, no one is perfect and I don’t need to be perfect, I just have to do the right thing at the right time.

How to know you are living a Pretends life.
1. Trying to feel among, trying to blend yourself to fit people standard.

2. Pleasing everyone and hurting your ego: You are been ask for a help, you knew you can’t be of help and you are not in the position to render that at the moment, you force yourself to do this out of your will and later boomerang on your health, finance.

3. ying yes to all request: You are Mr. Yes, you say yes to every request, find it difficult to say no, whereas for you to succeed in life, learning to say No is important, because you will get to a point in your life where you have to say no, no matter how hurt it may be.

Why you should overcome been pretending and be Original.

To be independent, and not entangle your life with someone else.
2. Build more relationship: when you are real, people will feel it and be free to be around you.
3. It makes you happy: How would you feel not hiding your identity before you make friends, build relationship. Just imagine how life would be.

4. Genuine people will seek for you, not the fake one because they will appreciate your originality.

Ways to overcome being Pretending.
1. Analyze those belief: those thought you hold up that are making you behave this way, write them down, our thought determine how we react to situations, actions towards life, how we carry our self (self-worth) and look vividly on how they are hindering you in every area of life.

2. Make a decision: Plan on how to eliminate those beliefs and take an immediate action to tackle them once and for all. People have known you to be that person, behaving in new ways will look strange to them, and they are going to challenge you, so ready for it, and don’t be scared after all this your own life, don’t rely on someone to make a decision for you, know that they also have their own responsibility.

3. Live your own life: Everyone is different so don’t imitate a celebrity you saw on the T.V, that’s his own way of life, to copy someone lifestyle simply means neglecting yourself and living someone else lives, to avoid that create your own path and walk on it.

4. Seek for help: Look for someone who is an experience in this field i.e. consulting coach, Life coach, Mentors and others; they would understand you better than anyone. And help you to come up with method, ideas and ways to overcome it.
5. Take responsibility: Take yourself accountable for your actions, don’t feel guilty for doing the right thing, even if others are not supportive, when you are wrong apologize, and when you are in the right path don’t doubt yourself and follow your instinct.
6. Enjoy being yourself: Spent some time alone with yourself, you will never know your strength, weakness, capacity, hobbies fully when you spent every moment with someone you have to give fake identity of yourself to get accepted.

How as this article impact you? Share your opinion in the comments section below.

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Hello, am Gbemileke Sonde, I specialized on writing motivational and self-improvement articles, a content creator, and a freelancer you can read my blog at http://ift.tt/2xWWmx2 or my twitter handle http://www.twitter.com/mycoacharticle

 

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You’re reading 6 Effective Ways to stop Pretending and be Original, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion. – Dale Carnegie.

We are creature of ego; we try to hide our feeling often, mostly we don’t want others to know our weakness and to let them realized that we are independent and don’t need anyone intervention to be free, to make decisions and capable enough, whereas deep down we have so many things we are ignorant of or need the help of someone better than we do.

You might be hurt by friends, family and others, just because of the doctrine we have been ignorantly belief in makes us to keep calm when we ought to talk, Accept bully when we ought to reject it, Silent when we ought to speak, apologize when we are right, correct someone who is wrong; but we didn’t act just because you believe someone will form an opinion about your actions.

When an introvert doesn’t have to pretend and act to be an extrovert, thinking that’s the only way to get accepted.

When black don’t have to bleach their skin to resemble a white man. Thinking that’s the best way he can get accepted and look beautiful (Self-Acceptance).

When we are free to talk, play and expressed our mind fully without been fake.

Being original means been unique and don’t have to compare yourself with others, rather think everyone is Special in his own nature.

One of the lessons I have learnt the hard way is to speak my mind at any time, Forgive when I need to, ask for a help whenever I am lost, apologize when wrong, no one is perfect and I don’t need to be perfect, I just have to do the right thing at the right time.

How to know you are living a Pretends life.
1. Trying to feel among, trying to blend yourself to fit people standard.

2. Pleasing everyone and hurting your ego: You are been ask for a help, you knew you can’t be of help and you are not in the position to render that at the moment, you force yourself to do this out of your will and later boomerang on your health, finance.

3. ying yes to all request: You are Mr. Yes, you say yes to every request, find it difficult to say no, whereas for you to succeed in life, learning to say No is important, because you will get to a point in your life where you have to say no, no matter how hurt it may be.

Why you should overcome been pretending and be Original.

To be independent, and not entangle your life with someone else.
2. Build more relationship: when you are real, people will feel it and be free to be around you.
3. It makes you happy: How would you feel not hiding your identity before you make friends, build relationship. Just imagine how life would be.

4. Genuine people will seek for you, not the fake one because they will appreciate your originality.

Ways to overcome being Pretending.
1. Analyze those belief: those thought you hold up that are making you behave this way, write them down, our thought determine how we react to situations, actions towards life, how we carry our self (self-worth) and look vividly on how they are hindering you in every area of life.

2. Make a decision: Plan on how to eliminate those beliefs and take an immediate action to tackle them once and for all. People have known you to be that person, behaving in new ways will look strange to them, and they are going to challenge you, so ready for it, and don’t be scared after all this your own life, don’t rely on someone to make a decision for you, know that they also have their own responsibility.

3. Live your own life: Everyone is different so don’t imitate a celebrity you saw on the T.V, that’s his own way of life, to copy someone lifestyle simply means neglecting yourself and living someone else lives, to avoid that create your own path and walk on it.

4. Seek for help: Look for someone who is an experience in this field i.e. consulting coach, Life coach, Mentors and others; they would understand you better than anyone. And help you to come up with method, ideas and ways to overcome it.
5. Take responsibility: Take yourself accountable for your actions, don’t feel guilty for doing the right thing, even if others are not supportive, when you are wrong apologize, and when you are in the right path don’t doubt yourself and follow your instinct.
6. Enjoy being yourself: Spent some time alone with yourself, you will never know your strength, weakness, capacity, hobbies fully when you spent every moment with someone you have to give fake identity of yourself to get accepted.

How as this article impact you? Share your opinion in the comments section below.

Author profile

Hello, am Gbemileke Sonde, I specialized on writing motivational and self-improvement articles, a content creator, and a freelancer you can read my blog at http://ift.tt/2xWWmx2 or my twitter handle http://www.twitter.com/mycoacharticle

 

You’ve read 6 Effective Ways to stop Pretending and be Original, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading How to Keep Yourself Sane When Living Alone, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

According to what Paulo Coelho has written on his book, Manuscript Found in Accra, “If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself. And if you do not know yourself, you will begin to fear the void.”

Living alone in another country is one of the least things you could wish for yourself. Life isn’t always about living with pure bliss; it’s also about experiencing the darkest of nights. That’s how you can maintain the equilibrium of your life. Just like the “Yin Yang” of the Chinese Philosophy, that means shady side and sunny side, respectively, in order for us to create a sane and balanced life. We always keep on talking about things like this but the question is, how?

Living alone is not a curse

It will always boil down on how will you view the situation, it’s either you’ll drown yourself with frustrations or you’ll start seeing the brighter side of life. You can cry for a while. You can even shout as loud as you can if you think that it could help you lessen the anxiousness that you’re currently experiencing. If you think that living alone is similar to imprisonment, that’s your choice. Why don’t you try changing the way you perceive things first? There’s nothing wrong in trying, right?

Give yourself a reward

When you’re working abroad and you still have a family to support in your homeland, always remember that it’s not a crime to treat yourself sometimes whenever you’ve received your paycheck. If you want to watch your homegrown movies and television series, why don’t you watch it whenever you have time? If you like having a new hairstyle, why don’t you go to the nearest salon and choose the style that suits you? Don’t spare yourself from all the good things that you deserve to have. You’re the one who worked hard for it, anyway.

Stop stressing about not being good enough

Living alone, without anyone that you can’t talk to personally, usually makes you feel lonely. Stress is something you can’t kick out of your life in just a snap. The best solution to fight it is to win against it. What’s the best way to stay calm even though you think that you’re already close to being devastated? Breathe.  Relax.  Yes, you have a report to be submitted before the day ends but it’s more difficult if you will work without a clearer mindset. A minute of distressing yourself won’t hurt.

Stay connected with your loved ones

No one can beat the power of having conversations with persons close to you. Talk to them about all the things that are bothering you. It doesn’t mean that even though you’re now residing in another place, you’ll also cut ties with them. Reconnect with them again and tell them how much you missed them. Talking with the people you love can help you feel sane. Don’t forget that those social networking sites are just a few clicks away.

Never isolate yourself

Not because you’re not with your friends anymore, you’ll forbid yourself to mingle with others. Keep in mind that it’s not a betrayal if you will make new friends. The bad thing about it is when you started ignoring them just because you’ve met people who you think are way cooler than them. Friendships will always about quality, not quantity. The most important thing is that you learned how to acquaint yourself with others so that you won’t be known as a rude person to your colleagues.

Problems are temporary

Did your employer scold you? Haven’t you passed the monthly report on time yet? Were you close to picking up a fight with your workmates? Again, take the time to breathe, to think, and to analyze everything before doing anything. This might be one of the most used phrases but, please don’t ever give up. You can rest for a while before starting the newest chapter of your life. If you feel unmotivated, think of the people who keep on believing in you whenever you think like you’re becoming a burden to society. You’ll make it. Maybe not now but eventually, you will.

If you’re in another country and you’re living alone, use that chance to be able to experience things such as giving yourself a new reason to be a better person. Every problems and situation exist because theses are needed for you to grow. Go easy on yourself now. Let go of all the loneliness and depression before it eats you alive without even knowing it.

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You’re reading How to Overcome Writer’s Block and Rediscover Freedom, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

You’re staring at that screen.

Nothing’s happening.

You’re checking, let’s see, email, Facebook, you go back to that empty word file.
Now, the negative self-talk begins.

Anxiety-You have to finish, and you haven’t even started.

Self-Critic-Why in the world did you ever agree to this?

Fun Guy-Tomorrow, Next Week, Next Year, anytime but now’s looking pretty good at this point.

The Angry Beast-Time to Pound the Keyboard.

Just Stop.

Pay yourself that penny, note your thoughts.

Breathe.

Gone to the Dark Writer Web?

Someone might laugh at what you write.

Someone might be angry at what you write.

Someone might criticize your writing as “bad”.

Perhaps NO ONE will read what you write.

Let’s get back to the light.

1-Wake Up!

Wake up in the Buddhist sense of being present.

Are you breathing from your chest?

That’s a sure sign of anxiety.

Send all your breath out of you with a calm and patient hiss until you have no more breath.

Now, when you are empty of breath, your abdomen will have no choice but to fill with breath.

Feel your abdomen fill, and breathe from there, filling up slowly.

Repeat.

Close your eyes, and watch your mind.

When it’s empty, keep that abdominal breath going, and see yourself typing happily.

Vigorous exercise BEFORE a writing session is also one of the best ways I know to restore your healthy instincts.

2-Disinvest in Whatever’s Right in Front of You

Odds are, you’re stuck, because some part of you is invested too heavily emotionally in whatever you’re working on.

What does that mean?

It means you’re not using your assets to write, you’re using the credit card of expecting someone else’s approval to be successful.

You need to relax and consider why this piece of writing is so important to you. Does it mean you won’t have to put on clothes ever again in the morning?

Do you expect traffic on a major highway to all pull off to the side when you appear just because of this one piece?

Here’s the biggest one of all. Do you think people will approve of you, or you’ll approve of yourself because you write this?

Get real.

How much weight are you putting on this item? More than it can possibly satisfy?

Time to get in touch with all those impossible outcomes, talk with someone else, or best of all, with yourself. Write down what you expect, see if you expect too much, and let go those expectations without self-criticism. Accept those expectations, and let them go.

3-Create Something Else in the Short Term or Turn to Another Language

One of the most effective ways I know to restore your playful and creative writing instincts is to do something else creative to relax the pressure you are putting on doing this one writing project.

How?

Write something else, make it fun, make it a product of giving yourself the permission to write something wacky, private, and lousy, as long as you enjoy it.

Here’s another interesting way to relax back into your creative instincts:

Play some music.

Read aloud pretending you’re on stage.

If you know another language, spend an hour speaking and our writing in it, so that you disinvest that “stake” in that single writing project that you’re stuck on.

4-Permission and Approval

Remind yourself that you aren’t what you write, no matter how good or bad it is.

Remind yourself you’re a human being, not a human doing.

Remind yourself that you will always win by failing, even if your eventual success doesn’t show up right away.

Channel your ideal reader. Make sure you have an ideal reader, the person whose image you can summon at will, someone you know, or someone you’ve made up, who loves you and is excited about your writing, no matter what.

5-Enlist your Brain

Pretend by sending yourself a congratulatory email that you’ve finished this challenging project and are ready for something new, then, without thinking,
dive right into what’s been giving you trouble.

You’ve now gotten your brain to help you bring about the outcome it already informed you of.

Writer’s Block is just another expression for a kind of self-imposed prison.

When you rediscover the joy of writing, you’ve simply set yourself free.

Write, rejoice in your creativity, and let your fingers dance across the keys as you soar to new heights.

If you’re a writer, there’s no greater self-kindness than liberation.

Be Free.

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Lars Nielsen has decades of experience helping individuals and businesses discover and share their core message. Whatever your message or audience, grab his “Make YOUR Message Matter Cheat Sheet” and put his time-tested techniques to work immediately.

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You’re reading 8 Ways Being Mindful Can Reduce Anxiety, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Mindful thinking is a savior; it helps you realize that no scenario or circumstance is hard to overcome if you truly are in control of your own mind and actions.

How can being mindful help with reducing anxiety and in turn, increase your self-growth?

Let’s take a look:

If you are looking to become independent without being affected by anxiety too much then you need to take a look at the following infographic which can help you take control of your life.

Additionally, here a few quick and actionable tips that can also help you get more out of your life.

Being patient

Good things come with time, and also with a lot of patience. Impatience can often be the enemy that drives you crazy and stresses you out. As we all know, life doesn’t always work in our favor. Sometimes, waiting for the right moment and right opportunity is a better way to deal with things. Impatience makes you anxious and keeps you on the edge. When you’ve mastered the art of being patient and resilient, you will notice how things are falling into place smoothly.

 Being open minded

When you become open to change and learn to accept different perspectives for the same situation, you also get to see and analyze many possible outcomes. Especially in times of contingency, it’s very important to be open-minded, to avoid feeling overwhelmed or stressed out. Stress is sometimes the main cause for anxiety to start acting up, which results in the mind shutting down and struggling to make logical decisions. Keep an open mind and watch how things just flow, without too much effort.

Being conscious, always

How essential is it to be conscious at all times? What does being aware and alert do for a person? The answer is simple; when you are self-conscious and aware, at least as much as your mind allows you to be, you’re cutting down the margin for unnecessary errors and also helping yourself grow as an individual. Someone who is conscious, not just physically but also mentally, is someone who can deal with any scenario that comes his/her way and does not need to struggle or ramble through problems. A solution is easier to find when your mind is aware of what its goal is.

Being self-critical

Before taking into consideration any judgment that might come from a third person, learn to be your own judge.

When you are critical of your decisions and any possible mistakes you’ve made, instead of looking at the negative side of it, you learn to make the most of it. Who understands you better than yourself? No one. Our well-wishers and loved ones will always advise us, advise that we must definitely keep in mind, but when you are your own judge and critic, the path looks a lot more clear.

Being self-loving

Love yourself, at all times and in all situations. Why is this so important? Why is self-love advocated in such abundance?

Good things always begin from within. When you love yourself, there is no void you have to fill, no space that needs to be covered up. You never have the sense of feeling incomplete or alone, and this is what will get you through the toughest times. The fear of being alone, of not being enough, of being left out or alienated; all these fears lead to bouts of anxiety, which in turn damages you as a person and directly affects your self-confidence.

Being independent

The importance of independent living and thinking cannot be stressed on enough. An independent person is self-sufficient, self-reliant and is more than capable of dealing with him/herself, without feeling the need to depend on anyone else. It’s not a bad thing to seek assistance from those who are willing to give it to us, but when you are confident that despite any circumstance you will always be strong enough to take yourself through, there is no fear and there are no inhibitions.

Being positive

When you are an optimistic thinker, you can help but notice the better things in life. Through hard and trying times, you learn to master the art of staying happy, of smiling through a storm and becoming a warrior on your own. Positive thinking is only the beginning of a more content and fulfilled life. A positive thinker will deal with his anxiety in an optimistic manner; he/she won’t run away from it or develop a phobia but try to find a solution and embrace the ups and downs that come with it.

Being driven

Ambition is what keeps us going, no matter how old we are. When you have a goal and an aim, despite any amount of failures and setbacks, you are still driven to keep moving forward and not give up too easily. Giving up on anything ultimately results in giving up on yourself. When you believe in yourself, you are always motivated to not stop until you have achieved what you want most.

When you’ve made up your mind to take your life into your own hands and not let opportunities and chances slip away, you’ve won half the battle of dealing with anxiety. Limitations are only challenges that help you grow, if you can learn to look past the obstacles.

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