Are you sad to hear people you care about calling you “a Stoic”? It might be time for you to refine your philosophy and show them how much the Stoic you are, love them and care for them.

Among the different schools of philosophy, Stoicism is one of the least understood. Yet, Stoics were among the most rationale and practical people of their time and we still have a lot to learn from them. Sadly, nowadays, the word “stoic” is generally used in a somewhat negative way describing someone who refuses to complain or show his feelings. Stoics certainly advocated a rather ascetic way of life but is it what Stoicism is solely about?

In this article, I would like to share with you, three Stoic principles that you can apply in your daily life in order to live, not a “stoic” and somewhat boring life, but a joyful life.

Stoics appreciate what they have and refuse to take anything for granted

One of the greatest sources of our unhappiness is our inability to be grateful for what we have. Stoics perfectly understood that and tricked their mind to fight against that natural tendency. One of the methods they used is negative visualization. They didn’t focus on what they wanted to have trying to visualize it to make it more real, instead they focused on the things they had and valued the most and imagined losing them.

Try to imagine right now how you would feel if your children, your partner or your parents just died today. What do you wish you had done for them today? Did you really show them appreciation and tell them how much you love them today?

Epictetus recommends that whenever we kiss our child, we silently remind ourselves that he/she might die tomorrow, or that whenever we part with a friend, we tell ourselves that it might be the last time we see him or her.

If you can fully appreciate everything you have right now in your life by reflecting on a regular basis on the possibility to lose them, then the loss of a loved one or of anything else you value will be less painful as you will have little regrets.

Are you fully appreciating everything you have in your life right now?

Stoics use self-deprecating humor to protect themselves

How do you react when people insult you or make fun of you? How do you think a Stoic in Ancient Greek would have react? One way he would have reacted is by laughing at himself.

Laughing off an insult is one of the most powerful ways to react to it. By doing so, you show to the insulter that you don’t take him seriously; you don’t give him any power.

I personally love this technique and like to use it whenever necessary. If you are able to make fun of yourself more than your insulter, you will never be troubled again and your offender will feel powerless.

What about you? Can you make fun of yourself? If not, what is holding you back?

Stoics focus on what they can change

Stoics refused to waste time thinking about things over which they had no control at all. They thought our time and energy ought to be spent only on things over which we did have control. For that reason, they advocated for a total acceptance of the past and the present, as it is useless to dwell on a past that cannot be changed or to refuse to embrace a present that is happening right now in front of us. They would forbid you to use sentences like “if only I had done this or that then…” or “I wish I told him how much I loved him before he suddenly died in this car accident”.

They carefully separated things over which they had control from things over which they had no control. For instance, we have complete control over our attitude and our values. We also have control over the goals we set for ourselves. However, we have no control over most of the things that happen in the external world.

Epictetus said we should set goals that are easy to achieve or even certain to be achieved and over which we have control. When setting goals a Stoic would likely focus on the process rather than on the outcome. From a Stoic point of view, it makes more sense to focus on doing the best you can at whatever you do, than on trying to be promoted, win the game or become a millionaire, as you have no guarantee you will achieve these goals.

Are you focusing mainly on the outcome or are you focus more on enjoying the process and doing the best you can to achieve your goals?

Among these three Stoic principles, which one are you going to start using in your life from today?

Thibaut Meurisse is the founder of whatispersonaldevelopment.org. Obsessed with improvement, he dedicates his life to finding the best possible ways to durably transform both his life and the lives of others. He just released a free e-book “The 5 Commandments of Personal Development”. Visit his website to discover the 5 principles you must master in order to live a full life.

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Recently I went on an impromptu trip to Korea.

It was a rather difficult time for me as I just got out of a long-term relationship. I needed something to clear my head and thus I bought the ticket on impulse to join my friend over there.

The seven days in Korea was both awesome and mind-opening.

This isn’t an article where I talk about travelling the world and how I “found myself.” It was only a single trip and the brunt of it consisted of eating, drinking, partying and meeting girls.

You’ll be surprised how powerful a single trip, even to a safe place can be.

1) You don’t have to dwell on yourself

I landed in Korea at nearly midnight local time. I was a little panicky as I thought I’d miss the last train. I had to make a mad rush, but I made it on time.

One afternoon, me and my friend wanted to walk the trail of a mountain. We somehow accidentally took the intermediate trail and found ourselves on all fours trying to climb up. It was a really crazy experience as one mistake could mean death. We made a turn around after a bit.

Here’s the thing: All these scary and uncomfortable moments were perfectly distracting me from all my problems. And personally, getting a little afraid and uncomfortable means you’re not feeling downright shitty, angry or depressed.

Do you see how getting distracted effectively makes you not dwell on yourself? Do you see how that, for a moment, your problems don’t exist?

Be it through distractions or conscious, positive thinking, the choice is ultimately yours. You really don’t have to dwell on yourself and your problems.

If you focus outwards, life instantly gets better.

2) There’re people out there who’re very grateful for you

One night, my friend and I joined his friends, two local guys for dinner. They took us around after that too.

One of them could not speak English well at all. At the end of the trip, he gave my friend a handwritten letter. With the help of Google Translator, he wrote out in English how he was sorry his English was bad and that he could not communicate well. He also mentioned he was very happy to see him.

Maybe we were just a couple of tourists and they wanted to show us a good time, but one thing for sure, we don’t get gestures like that at home at all.

Travel to new places. Meet new people. The sheer happiness, compassion and kindness from them will give you a new perspective of life.

All you have to do is to open up a little.

3) Absorbing new cultures makes you realize your home doesn’t make up your world

One thing I observed in Korea is that people generally don’t excuse themselves when walking past you. They simply push their way through. Nobody really cared or was affected.

If I did that at home, I’d get the ugliest stares and probably even a scolding.

This is where you make the difference for yourself. You can either get mad if somebody was rude to you (because of your “values” or whatever), or you can realize the exact same thing will not the least bit affect somebody else in another part of the world.

And the question is: If they can do it, why can’t you?

You’re both only human, right?

Absorbing different cultures opens up your mind on new levels altogether. You’ll realize you get to be as happy as others.

4) You’ll be thankful for what you have at home

Honestly, unless you really hate your life and where you’re from, you’ll be quick to miss your life back home.

This is where you miss your family, friends and the comfort (comfort is not always a bad thing, you know?)

You gain that epiphany when you’re faraway, alone and uncomfortable.

And sometimes that is what it truly takes to ensure you don’t ever take your life and those around you for granted. This is how you realize how happy you already are. You just need to get rid of all the bullshit in your life.

5) Sometimes, you’ve to drop everything and get away from it all just so you can move on

If I wanted to get over my breakup the conventional way, I guess I’d talk to my friends or read up articles and stuff.

If I also wanted to gain more inspiration from my writing, I’d probably read more how-to articles across the web.

But as with most things in life, it’s always never that straight forward or easy.

Sometimes, the traditional answers aren’t the answers at all.

Sometimes, you just need a damn break. You just have to drop everything and get away from it all.

And that is all I can say, for the experience, memories and every feeling you attain while being abroad, albeit only for a single trip all combine to encapsulate a new feeling and outlook for you.

That is the answer for more happiness.

You don’t have to be a digital nomad, mobile writer, hippy, archaeologist or whatever.

Just get out there for once already. Anywhere.

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I hope you enjoyed the article! Wanna find more ways to be happy?

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Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. His two main passions are Bboying and writing. Check out his free report, 12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About!

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