June 23rd

What a long strange trip it’s been.

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5 Habits Every Family Needs to Adopt to Start Saving Some Extra Money

Note: This post is written by Gabriel Fishbein

Having a family is one of the most fulfilling accomplishments; it’s a whole new chapter of life. Whether you have one child or more, you probably know that as rewarding as being a parent is, it can also be tough sometimes.

Saving for holidays, a new house, or even a car can be a challenge when you’re no longer just thinking about yourself. That’s where some money-saving advice could help you to reach your financial goals, so you can enjoy your next family trip to the Bahamas, or tucking your kids into their new bed.

Here are five money-saving habits every family needs to adopt.

1. Cut Down on Junk Food and Processed Food

People usually have the assumption that to cut down on your food bill you need to buy less food. This isn’t really the case. Instead of cutting down on everything, simply learn to say no.

Instead of buying a packet of cookies and a bottle of soda, stick to fruit and veg. By cutting out processed foods that have no nutrients, you’ll notice how your grocery bill decreases.

Cut down, or eliminate fast food and takeouts altogether and opt for cooking at home instead. Just think that every weekly takeout that costs around $20, could add up to around $100 by the end of the month.

2. Spend Less on Clothes and Shoes

If you have growing children, then you know how tricky it can be when you’re trying to buy them clothes that fit and they won’t grow out of too quickly.

One of the best ways to get them everything they need is to make a list for autumn/winter and again in spring/summer. Make a note of everything they need for the season, such as a winter coat and boots.

By getting them everything season by season, you will avoid shopping constantly week to week and spending excessive amounts on clothes your child may never wear.

3. Cut Down on Toys and Make Memories Instead

Next time you’re in a store with your kids and they try and guilt trip you into buying toys, say no. Instead of accumulating useless things that they’ll get bored of after a few days, plan experiences or family bonding time instead, which is free, or could cost significantly less than the latest video game.

Take your kids to the park for a picnic or a game of football, as opposed to indulging them with the latest toy or gadget that they’ve seen advertised on TV.

4. Reuse as a Household

One way your kids will learn the value of money is by understanding that throwaway culture is not good for your wallet or the environment.  So instead of buying new clothes, keep a few good-quality pieces so that you can pass them down to your next child.

This will save you money in the long term and the same rule applies to toys and games. Reuse them by passing them down, rather than hoarding toys and constantly buying new ones.

When it comes to household items, you’ll be surprised at how much you can save by using reusable tea clothes and dust clothes, rather than buying kitchen paper and wipes every week.

If you’re thinking of redecorating or want to add a few things to your house, then as an alternative to buying more pieces of furniture, have a look at vintage and antique stores. You’ll be able to find treasures for bargain prices.

5. Teach Your Kids to Decrease Their Carbon Footprint

Show your kids the importance of turning off light switches and appliances that they’re not using, and they should know not to leave electronics on charge.

After your whole family becomes energy smart, you’ll not only have taught your kids a valuable life lesson but you’ll also notice your electric, water and gas bill decrease.

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With a few simple household changes, you’ll see the difference in your savings account and your kids will eventually appreciate the fun memories, tasty home cooked meals and their pre-loved and quirky furniture.

By making a few little changes you could be on your way to a more financially stable future as a family.

– About the Writer –

Gabriel Fishbein is the lead content marketer at GiftCardio. He graduated with two degrees in Marketing and Information Systems from the Robert H. Smith School of Business at University of Maryland. He is persuasive, logical, and deliberate but not lackadaisical when making decisions.

– Related Resources –

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Fathers & Daughters

When he started releasing hour-long comedy specials ten years ago, Louis C.K.’s material was long on kids, marriage, men and women, and getting older and fatter. These subjects are still a big part of his acts, especially in Louie, but he’s gotten even more traction with observations about our national mood disorder: the irritable, selfish public behavior and private melancholy of Americans in the smartphone age (or sometimes, more specifically, affluent white Americans). He’s most effective when he uses himself as representative American jerk and melancholic.

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Wolf on a String

Benjamin Black, the name under which Irish writer John Banville runs his criminal operations, is best known for his Dublin pathologist, Quirke, and the murders and general wickedness that have come the way of that angst-ridden gloomy guts. In Wolf on a String Black abandons Ireland’s dismal postwar years and steps back to the turn seventeenth century, in Prague — thereby revisiting the scene of his progenitor in Banville’s early novel Kepler.

Christian Stern, a young natural philosopher lately of the University of Würzburg, has just arrived at the imperial city, hoping to make his way into the court of Emperor Rudolf II, a man obsessed with the occult. Within hours, however, he is full of schnapps and wandering the streets in the night, whereupon he comes across the body of a murdered woman with her throat ripped out. The next thing he knows he has been charged with the crime, thrown into a dungeon, and questioned: first by the emperor’s high steward, a sinister individual called Felix Wenzel, and then by the steward’s devious, lethally charming rival, the court’s chamberlain, Philipp Lang. (“I had the impression of being circled about and sniffed at by a sleek and gleaming creature — a panther, say, or some such sinuous, burnished beast.”) Christian’s grasp of the occult arts — magic, alchemy, astrology, hermeticism, and the like — combined with one of Rudolf’s recent dreams, wins him not just escape from suspicion but the emperor’s favor and a place in his court. “And so, amid such drama, tumult and outlandish pantomime, began my sojourn in the Capital of Magic.”

Christian’s first assignment is to discover the murderer of the young woman, who, it turns out, was Magdalena Kroll, one of the emperor’s mistresses. Still, when Benjamin Black serves up a dead body, whodunit procedurals take a backseat to evocation of zeitgeist and glimpses how things work behind the scenes. That is the case here, in spades. Living amid the trappings of grandeur, caught in love’s coils (as it happens), and given to “wine-tainted tattle and braggadocio,” Christian neglects the task of discovering Magdalena’s killer, and for a couple of hundred pages the plot has little momentum.

Be that as it may, the reader is kept fully engaged by the felicity of Black’s writing, its intoxicating brio, and, not least, its hint of the eldritch — so fitting in a world infatuated with the occult and illusion. At one point, hearing a dreadful scuffling outside his door, Christian peers out and sees “a low, bent shape hopping and scampering along . . . I could not be sure it was even a human shape. I had the impression, I could not say why, of a large and general gleefulness, as if the night itself had joined with the fleeing creature to make savage fun of me.”

And, indeed, the novel is populated by a cast of exotics and grotesques, some based in history, some entirely fictional: In addition to Wenzel and Lang, there is Serafina, a beautiful religious novice whose tongue has been cut out; the diabolical dwarf, Jeppe Schenckel, who also appeared in Kepler; Girolamo Malaspina, papal nuncio, gourmandizer, and inveterate schemer; Edward Kelley, alchemic fraudster and onetime associate of “the English magus,” John Dee; Caterina Sardo, an aging beauty absent conscience or restraint, who is the emperor’s main mistress and mother of his children; Don Giulio, her weird, exquisitely unsavory son; and Rudolf himself: “His Imperial and increasingly dotty Majesty.” Christian is seduced by and smitten with Caterina, and it fills him with jealous horror to reflect on the conjunction of Rudolf, Caterina, and the unlovely Giulio — by the thought, as Benjamin Black puts it so nicely, “of Rudolf, that fat frog, lowering the great bloodless soft sack of himself down upon my slender Venus and inflicting upon her tender innards the makings of this sickly-looking mooncalf.”

Christian observes early on that he has “always considered the appearance of things to be no more than a gauzy veil behind which a truer reality is covertly and marvelously at work.” Those, of course, are the thoughts of a young Neoplatonist, but, as it happens, they are also those of a young dupe. Eventually Christian begins to have a “deepening sense . . . of being at the center on an intricately devised, immensely subtle and cruelly malicious game.”

And, yes! International intrigue raises its crafty head: The British diplomat and spy Henry Wotton appears on the scene. A perfidious and highly credible conspiracy emerges, as do shocking revelations, one of which is so creepily described that I shall quote it, as no one who has not read the book will understand what it means: “A mandrake root, bristling with tendrils and all caked with marl, its fork entwined about her white and gleaming limbs.” That is so beautifully horrid that I really do hope Benjamin Black will make this period and its fantastical milieu his own for at least a couple more novels.

 

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The Language of Diane Arbus

To the Editors: In an otherwise characteristically sensitive piece on Diane Arbus, Hilton Als repeats without qualification and as a truism that Diane Arbus “used the word ‘freaks’ to describe [her] subjects….” While often repeated, and in this case possibly unintentional in the implicit breadth of its meaning, nothing could be further from the truth, and the promulgation of the idea harms the reputations of both the photographer and the writer.

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More Bresson Than Mozart

To the Editors: Michael Wood, alluding to Robert Bresson’s practice of letting quotations speak for him, writes, “When Mozart says of certain works of his that ‘they are brilliant…, but they lack poverty,’ he is close to the heart of Bresson’s aesthetics.” Mozart, unfortunately, never quite said this.

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How To Control Negative Thoughts: A Practical Approach On How To Suffer Less

It is well-known that thoughts create emotions. But, the full consequences of this fact are largely misunderstood.

Thoughts create emotions. Then, those emotions guide our behavior. For example, the thought “I’m never going to succeed at school, why should I even study?” creates emotional distress. That emotional distress can easily trigger coping behaviors, like binge-watching House of Cards or mindlessly refreshing Instagram every five seconds.

That’s just the beginning of the spiral, though. That where learning how to control negative thoughts become difficult.

After you’ve been binge-watching TV or staring at your cell phone for an hour, you’re going to have a new thought, “Damn, I shouldn’t have wasted an hour on my phone. I’m so stupid. I’ll never pass that class.”

These thoughts create more emotional distress and that leads to more coping behaviors.

But, wait a minute!

Shouldn’t that thought help motivate you to study? Isn’t calling yourself out in an honest way helpful? Don’t you have to fight your way out of stress? If we were completely logical creatures, you’d be right.

Our thoughts don’t directly lead to behaviors. They create emotions which lead to behaviors. This creates a trap that is exceedingly easy for us to fall into.

The first step in this example is the thought, “I should be studying right now.” This creates the sense that we aren’t being productive enough and that we are screwing up. The emotion we feel because of this thought isn’t motivation, but distress.

What do humans do when they feel distressed? Cope. What are the most common coping behaviors used in 21st-century life? Electronic media, food, and drugs.

This is a counter-intuitive idea, but it has very important implications.

In her best-selling book, The Upside of Stress, psychologist Kelly McGonigal writes: “When I speak with physicians, I sometimes ask them to predict the effects of showing smokers graphic warnings on cigarette packs. In general, they believe that the images will decrease smokers’ desire for a cigarette and motivate them to quit. But studies show that the warnings often have the reverse effect.

The most threatening images (say, a lung cancer patient dying in a hospital bed) actually increase smokers’ positive attitudes toward smoking. The reason? The images trigger fear and what better way to calm down than to smoke a cigarette? The doctors assumed that the fear would inspire behavior change, but, instead, it just motivates a desire to escape feeling bad.”

This pattern is a lot like psychological quicksand. As soon as we have a negative thought, like “I should be studying or I shouldn’t be eating this pint of delicious Cherry Garcia Ice Cream.”, our instinct to fight it gives that negative thought more emotional charge. That emotional charge is expressed as an increased feeling of distress which makes us think even more negatively. And, before long, our head is beneath the sand and we’re suffocating from what was originally just a relatively benign negative thought.

Break Free

break free

Negative thoughts create negative emotions and that leads to negative behaviors.

This is an extremely frustrating pattern that can easily affect our behaviors and the quality of our lives. The solution isn’t to learn how to think more positively or to learn how to control your emotions. The solution is much more obvious than the traditional approaches, yet it is also more elusive.

To escape the vicious cycle of negative thinking, you must accept the negative thought as it is. Just like in a quicksand, to stop sinking, you must stop fighting it and be still. With negative thoughts, you must learn to compassionately accept them as they are.

Once you learn to accomplish this effectively, you will still have negative thoughts. However, they will drift away like clouds on a gentle breeze instead of darkening into a storm of emotional suffering.

See Also: 5 Steps To Release Bottled Emotions And Live Happier

The root of our suffering is our belief that we can (or even should) eliminate negative thoughts and emotional pain. The thought that suffering is ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ is already a negative thought by itself. This way of thinking makes stress a trigger for more stress.

To escape this spiral of stress and suffering that we get trapped in, we must learn to relate to our thoughts differently. Modern psychologists have developed effective strategies to accomplish this.

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, cognitive fusion is a state in which we become entangled with our thoughts and we lose the ability to distinguish between thoughts and objective reality. Author Russ Harris says, “In a state of fusion, a thought can seem like: 1. the absolute truth 2. a command you have to obey or a rule you have to follow.”

The solution to cognitive fusion is learning cognitive defusion. According to Harris, “This is where we can observe our thoughts and see them for what they are – just products of our busy minds.”

There are numerous strategies that can help us achieve cognitive defusion. Here, I’m going to focus on one that is both easy-to-use and highly effective.

Labeling is a mindfulness technique that allows us to defuse from our thoughts. It helps us identify our thoughts as subjective opinions, instead of objective facts. I recommend practicing labeling as a dedicated daily meditation practice (5-15 minutes to start). This will help you build it into a natural thought habit.

How to practice labeling

practice labeling

Either during a sitting meditation or anytime throughout the day, notice your thoughts. For example, you might notice you have the thought, “I don’t want to be meditating right now, I have more important things to do.”

To label this thought, simply tell yourself, “I am having the thought that I don’t want to be meditating right now.”

If you are having the thought “I am too tired to work right now”, label it by telling yourself, “I am having the thought that I am too tired to work right now.”

Labeling also works with sensations and emotions. For example, “I am having the sensation of tightness in my neck,” or “I am having the feeling of anxiety.”

The practice is fairly uncomplicated and making it into a habit won’t take long. Of course, the more you practice this during dedicated meditation, the more you will naturally label your thoughts in your day-to-day life.

Labeling won’t eliminate your negative thoughts or emotional pain and it doesn’t have to. The point of labeling is learning to become aware of your thoughts so that pain does not need to become suffering.

Have your efforts to eliminate negative thoughts or emotional pain ever panned out? After years of struggling against pain, has it become clear that the traditional approach of coping through escapism or self-punishment doesn’t work? Maybe fighting pain just creates more pain.

Experiment with this technique and notice if it affects how you relate to your thoughts. Do they become louder or quieter? More invasive or easier to manage?

You may find that once you start to create distance from your thoughts (without trying to change them), that they affect you less.

You may notice that you still have the thought, “I’m never going to succeed in school, there’s no point in studying,” and that thought may still be painful. But, the thought isn’t you now. It’s just a thought and the pain is just pain.

You may notice that you are now able to accept stress as something that happens. Now, you can experience it without needing to avoid it through coping. You may notice that your thoughts and pain no longer spiral into stress and suffering. As a result, the quicksand no longer sucks you in. You’re able to surrender to it and you can finally be free.

See Also: 3 Simple Steps to Balance Your Emotional State

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Soldiers to Students: The G.I. Bill’s Legacy

 

Sometimes Cheryl and I talked about her seven months, about the wives left behind, about her family, her job, her boss. Sometimes she’d ask little questions. Sometimes I’d answer. And glad as I was to be in the States, and even though I hated the past seven months and the only thing that keep me going was the Marines I served with and the thought of coming home, I started feeling like I wanted to go back. Because fuck all this.

from “Redeployment,” the title story in Phil Klay’s award-winning 2014 collection

The G.I. Bill (formally, the Serviceman’s Readjustment Act) was signed into law on June 22, 1944. Regarded as one of the most successful and far-reaching political measures in postwar America, the G.I. Bill provided a range of financial and educational support, and over the next decade almost 9 million veterans went to college or into training programs. When those veteran-students joined the workforce, getting the skilled jobs needed to support their growing families, the nation’s economic and social landscape was transformed. This portrait of the Greatest Generation, proudly returned from war and pursuing unlimited opportunities, is sometimes offered (for example in Suzanne Mettler’s Soldiers to Citizens) as the last available snapshot of a cohesive nation striding confidently towards domestic prosperity and international power.

Phil Klay served in the Marines, and after returning from Afghanistan used the G.I. Bill to get a degree in creative writing. His Redeployment transforms raw experience into fiction; in See Me for Who I Am we get the raw experience itself, as told by others who have studied under the G.I. Bill. The collection is the product of a veterans-only freshman seminar taught by David Chrisinger, a lecturer at University of Wisconsin−Stevens Point. Chrisinger describes the work of his student-veterans as an attempt to bridge the soldier-civilian divide by describing “what it’s actually like to be in the military, to go to war, and to come home.” In “The Fires That Mold Men into Weapons,” Chase Vuchetich traces his decision to enlist to his childhood memory of “sitting next to my dad at his reloading bench, where he would make ammunition and listen to George Thorogood and the Destroyers’ ‘Bad to the Bone.’ ” For a ten-year-old with a “warrior class” childhood, the 9/11 attack on the World Trade Center felt like “someone had just poured gasoline on my pile of wood.” He dropped out of high school in his junior year to join the Marines and was soon in Sangin, Afghanistan, his education there beginning with a late-night seminar from the soldiers he and the others were replacing — survivors going home the next day, giving a crash course in survival to the new recruits:

“I want you guys to understand.” He stared at the wall as the lights on our headlamps flickered. “You might have to kill women and children . . . Can you do that?” His fire was out; even with the light on his face, his eyes were black as if there was no soul left inside. He was twenty-one years old. His clothes were filthy and tattered. Although he couldn’t grow much more that a ratty mustache, he looked like an old man, tired and beaten down

In Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging, Sebastian Junger cites anthropological and behavioral evidence indicating that the most important factor in the readjustment process is not how a soldier responds to what he did in war but how his society responds to his return. The process of transitioning from a close-knit platoon back to life at home requires “social resilience” — a network of meaningful social connections, readily available in some communities (Junger offers kibbutz settlements in Israel as an example) but hard to find in America:

Resources are not shared equally, a quarter of children live in poverty, jobs are hard to get, and minimum wage is almost impossible to live on. Instead of being able to work and contribute to society — a highly therapeutic thing to do — a large percentage of veterans are just offered lifelong disability payments.

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Wonderful House Located in Indian Creek Designed by Studio MK-27

This wonderful home overlooking the surrounding canals is located in Indian Creek, a wealthy village in Miami-Dade County, Florida, USA. In its spacious exterior it has a swimming pool where we can swim with a variety of fish and enjoy in a different and unique way, a 200-foot-long bridge over the lagoon which leads us to the home’s entrance, and a dock space to accommodate a 90-foot-long yacht. It is..

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Within sight of New York City skyscrapers, Jamaica Bay Wildlife…

Within sight of New York City skyscrapers, Jamaica Bay Wildlife Refuge is an 18,000-acre wetland estuary surrounded by the Rockaway Peninsula to the south, Brooklyn to the west, and Queens to the east. An area almost equal to the size of Manhattan, the bay consists of numerous islands, a labyrinth of waterways, meadowlands and two freshwater ponds. The refuge provides an accessible and unique environment for both wildlife and urban recreation. Photo by Micael Fano (http://ift.tt/18oFfjl).