You’re reading 5 Stress Management Tips When Things Get Out of Hand, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

It’s absolutely normal to feel powerless when you encounter stress, but to think that there’s nothing you can do about it is definitely not normal. You can avoid things from getting out of control by taking charge of your thoughts, emotions, lifestyle, and your ways of facing certain life situations.

Where does stress come from?

You often think that everything boils down to deadlines. If only the tick of the clock is much slower and if deadlines don’t exist, everything would be much easier. Sometimes you blame your failures to somebody or to a circumstance where in fact, the real problem is just the way you perceive stress.

It’s best to identify where the stress is coming from in order for you to identify a way to defeat it. Take a closer look at people’s most common perception.

• Stress is eternal.
• Stress is an integral part of themselves and abode.
• People pass the blame to other people, things or events by keeping their hands clean.

If you perceive stress  in a wrong way, you won’t be able to defeat it. That’s for sure!

1. Have Some Daily Physical Activities

Get yourself moving. There is power in perspiration that can defeat stress. A few push-ups, curl-ups and an hour or two of jogging can make a difference in your emotional state. Meanwhile, as you perform different types of physical activities, bad elements that are causing your stress are gradually reduced. It burns away your anger, frustration, and tension, especially at work.

Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day. Allot 10 minutes for a burst of activity where you can elevate your heart and make you all sweaty.

2. Stay Available for Social Communication

Social communication is helpful to reduce stress. Have you ever talked to somebody you’re so comfortable with that at the end of the conversation you felt so relieved?

Several parts of our body are interconnected. When having a conversation, our face, ear, heart, and stomach are in unison with our brain that’s why when someone listens to us, we get calm so quickly.

Therefore, stay available for social engagement as this can help lower the level of threat you feel towards the internal and external events in your life.

3. Eliminate Unnecessary Stress

Yes, there are many stress-causing activities that are unpredictable, but there are some you can easily predict. And when you figure them out, try to eliminate them.

I’m referring to that stressful commute you’ve been suffering from these past months. That also includes your meetings with your boss and some relationship issues. At times like these, it’s either you change the situation or change your reaction.

Learn to stick to what you can only do at the moment. Stress occurs when you take in a lot of workloads and sacrifice your personal life in return. Your professional career might be important, but so does your personal life. So learn how to say “no” sometimes and allocate some of your time on things that make you happy.

Avoid stress-causing people. If there’s someone in your life who has been the constant trigger of your stress, start avoiding that person from now on.

Encourage environment control. If the news gives you headaches, turn off your TV. If you often encounter traffic on your commute to work, track the less-traveled route. You see? There are stressful things in life which you can successfully eliminate.

4. Change the Situation

If you can’t avoid the situation, change it! This might involve the way you communicate and face different situations in your life.

Learn to speak your heart’s content. Sometimes stress comes from not letting your heart be heard. If someone who is assertive tries to bother you, then voice out your concerns – but in a respectful way. For example, if you need to review for your exam and your friend suddenly comes in your room for a chit-chat, tell your friend honestly that you can only spare 5 minutes of conversation.

Learn to compromise. When you encourage someone to change, you need to be an example yourself. Compromising and bending a little will enable you to overcome stress in having bad relationships.

Learn to manage your time wisely. Plan ahead! Time management can help you stay calm and focused regardless of the current situation you are in.

5. Adapt to Stress-causing Elements

How should you deal with stress when problems are too difficult to avoid?

Your mind has the greatest influence towards stress so when you learn  how to change your expectations and attitude towards pressuring situations, you can defeat stress easily. Stay positive. When you are caught in a bad traffic, don’t you think it’s a good time to listen to your favorite music? Instead of letting those eyebrows collide in worry, try to calm yourself by changing the way you think about the situation.

Take a clear overview of the picture. Is that stress worth every bit of your suffering? If you answer no, then divert your focus to something else.

Lower down your standards. Are you a perfectionist? If you are, then learn how to lower down your standards, accept mistakes, and go for accomplishments like “good enough.”

Don’t let your stressful situation devour all the happy things in your life. Defeat it and enjoy life to its fullest!

You’ve read 5 Stress Management Tips When Things Get Out of Hand, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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You’re reading Forget SMART Goals and Try This Instead, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

For four years, I struggled using SMART Goals that got me nowhere. I experienced psychological pressure and pain from always feeling like I would never be enough until I reached some magically self-created utopia through achieving my goals.

I never ended up accomplishing most of them.

I remember desperately working to be fit for a fitness test; training so hard that I ended up giving myself a chronic heel injury that I still have to this day. In reaching for my goals like they’d somehow make me complete, I pushed myself past my limit. With every goal I had, this theme would repeat itself.

I went after each goal like it’d make me or break me.

Eventually, after nearly half a decade, I realized that goals aren’t about belonging, or reaching a safe place. They’re not there so that I can prove myself to anyone. They’re just there to help me move forward, to grow, and become a better person, however simplistic that may sound.

Compass Goals Changed Everything For Me

Over the course of 2016, I managed to achieve several different goals. They include reading over seventy books, improving my income, traveling to various countries, and reaching something that’s a lot closer to my dream body.

But more importantly, I achieved my goals in a far more grounded way. Compared to previous years, I felt more excited throughout my journey. I didn’t feel like I was grasping and yearning helplessly, with flailing arms, for my goals. The beautiful side effect of that was that I was less wrapped up in my own bubble,

I share all of this to show you that positive internal change is more than possible, even with the deepest experiences of disappointment—year after year. No matter how many times you’ve felt like a failure before. No matter how many times you haven’t stuck to your goals.

Compass Goals vs. SMART Goals

A goal becomes a compass goal when it improves your present in a meaningful, exciting way. It’s there to teach you something about yourself and the world, but you’re not too attached to the outcome you’re going after.

With a series of compass goals, life becomes a mixture of interconnecting wormholes that move you toward greater growth and fulfilment.

Pursuing goals is a lot like riding a bicycle toward different destinations. You need to know when to speed up, based on the terrain that’s in front of you. You need to know when to slow down, based on the obstacles you eventually come to face. And you have to make those decisions while remembering that you want to get to those various places on time—while maintaining your sanity throughout the journey.

Even more importantly, you need to know if a goal or destination is even worth going for in the first place. You can’t take a trip to a planned destination lightly, and some goals will take longer to reach. The exploration we’re about to delve into will show you exactly how to decide which of your goals are worth going for, and how to go about pursuing them.

But first, let’s make something clear.

Your Life Will Always Be About the Climb

There’s this idea in our culture that suggests that we’ll magically “make it” once we achieve a certain milestone. It could be anything from releasing a viral video, winning American Idol, or joining an NBA Team.

Through the slipstream of celebrity culture, with rap songs with lyrics “mummy, I made it,” we’ve been subtly co-opted into this idea that our very sense of self-worth, is dependent on reaching some magical dreamland.

But this is merely an illusion. One that, I regret to say, I succumbed to for over four years. But while reaching a goal can radically improve the quality of your life, it’s not the end-all and be-all.

Let me use three big goals to show you why you will never “make it” and why you should be thankful:

• After reading x amount of books in a year, it will be your job to internalize the lessons from what you read so that they lead to an improvement in your character.
• You’ve gained ten pounds of muscle and feel great. Now you need to make sure you maintain your muscle mass, which means you’ll have to continue training at the gym, in some form, for the rest of your life.
• Now that you’ve doubled your income, you’ll have to keep working at the same level to maintain your salary.

Life keeps moving forward, regardless of which destination you reach. Once you understand this, you can take goals off the pedestal.

Qualify your Goal to see if it’s a Compass Goal

Whenever you set yourself a goal, imagine you’re about to jump on a bike to set off to a new destination and ask yourself these four questions, before kicking your foot on the pedal:

The Compass Goals Checklist:

1. Is this goal something I can see myself pursuing with excitement, despite its difficulty – does it give me rewards along the way?
2. Can I write a set of daily or weekly actions that I’ll stick to consistently, adjusting them when necessary until I reach my goal?
3. Do I have a way of measuring my progress (a compass)?
4. Will I be okay with not getting the outcome I want because I recognize how much value this journey will provide me with regardless?

The last question (being okay with not reaching the result) helps you relieve an enormous amount of pressure. If you’re okay with not getting the result you want in advance, you don’t live in a make-it-or-break-it paradigm. Instead, you live in a playground that leaves you free to achieve something if you’re willing to do what it takes.

It’s okay to have burning desires, but they only help us if they’re tempered in the right way. Paradoxically, it’s only by letting go of the outcomes we seek (while working toward them) that we’re freer and likelier to achieve them.

If you answered yes to all these four questions, then you have successfully created a compass goal! Try to have between three to five per year at most!

What about deadlines?

With the common SMART goals approach, you’re told to set a deadline for each goal so that you’re stretched. But answering the four questions for each of your goals is more important than having a planned completion date.

Alas, use deadlines, but use them to fuel your goals rather than constrain you. Also, make sure you don’t give yourself too much time to achieve a goal in a year. The journey, similarly to riding a bike, is a lot more fun where you go faster—and that’s why deadlines are useful!

To Summarize the 4 Main Takeaways

1. Understand the value of your goals; while the achievement counts for something, who you become along the way is more important. Don’t let your goals run you, run your goals.
2. Realize there is no end-point; achieving goals doesn’t mean “you’ve made it.” You’ll always be striving for growth in different areas of your life.
3. Every goal achieved brings with it a set of new responsibilities, so be willing to take those responsibilities in advance. Don’t choose a goal lightly.
4. Qualify your goals with the four questions to determine if you have a traditional goal or a compass goal. A traditional goal will prod at your self-esteem and make you feel unfulfilled along the way. A compass goal is lighter and makes you enjoy the journey.

My Last Words

Over the last half a decade, I’ve come to learn that goals are only worth having if they can enrich our lives right now. Because how we consistently experience the present will always determine the beauty of what we reap.

If you work on a PC and you’re interested in learning how to improve the way you approach life, read my free book on Spiritual Productivity.

• You’ll learn about how to split up your day into four chunks, so you worry less about external influences.
• You’ll discover the small hacks that will take your productive work on the PC to the next level.
• And much more…

 Samy Felice is a writer who brings meaning to words. His Free Book explores how to make success easier. 

You’ve read Forget SMART Goals and Try This Instead, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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