☼ Шпанская мушка ☼
Знаменитая “Шпанская мушка”, из которого делают очень известное “лекарство для мужчин” – на самом деле – Ясеневый жук нарывник. Взрослый жук имеет характерный мышиный запах. Во время прикосновения на суставе между голенью и бедром выделяется желтоватая жидкость, а изо рта — пищеварительный секрет, оба содержат кантаридин – вещество, очень сильно раздражающее животные ткани и образующее волдыри. Так что трогать голыми руками его не надо, но в медицине это свойство научились использовать. Препараты на основе кантаридина до XX века широко использовались для повышения потенции.
In the last four years of the 19th century, over 100,000 prospectors flooded into the Klondike region of Alaska and Canada looking for gold. Klondike Gold Rush National Historical Park not only tells the stories of these pioneers, it preserves 13,000 acres of historic sites and stunning wilderness. Traveling the trails is like going back in time. Photo by C. Anderson, National Park Service.
You’re reading How to Go Out When You’re Sober, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
If you’re trying to quit drinking, going out sober is a bitter-sweet reminder (more bitter than sweet) of how tough your decision to quit will be. There’s nothing like trying to keep yourself together as you walk into a bar and savor the raw awkwardness of ordering a juice instead of your favorite draught beer. The edgy feeling as you join your friends, all enjoying fresh cocktails and chilled white wine. When you sit down, a few friends greet you with questionable glances at your beverage choice. Trying to play it off, you keep it cool. You smile, strike up the conversation and let the night roll.
But, then you start to think, those drinks look so good! They’re just sitting there, cold and delicious. Here I am with my juice, hating everything about the world and juice at this very moment. Why did I order a stupid juice? Then, as the night carries on, a little jittery feeling keeps you on your toes. Maybe I should just have one, and then that will be it. I’ll go home and start my quit tomorrow. I don’t want to be a buzz kill. I can have one, it’s no big deal if it’s just one. Everyone is drinking, and I look out of place… and so the inner dialogue goes.
Like others, going out sober with friends was one of my biggest fears when I quit drinking. I know it’s difficult, and that’s why I’m writing this blog piece. Remember, difficult is not the same as impossible. You can get through it, but first you need to get out of your head.
Sobriety is a mental game, and you need to first stop any thoughts that tease your mental strength. I use the word tease because we tend to think with false confidence when we enter a bar sober. We think we have a good game plan, like, One drink and then I’ll go home. But, how many times have we stayed for just one drink in these fun social settings? How do you react when your friend buys you a shot and demands you to take it with him? What about your boss who uses a happy hour to bond outside the workplace? Or your sister’s wedding with an open bar?
Your mental game is key. If you’re going out sober, be ready to say no when offered a drink; it’s not as bad as you think. Most worries that come with sobriety are only in your head. People won’t care if you’re not drinking because it doesn’t affect their needs. However, if you do have a needy friend that can’t drink alone, then schedule a coffee date with them instead. But, the first time I turned down a drink, I thought a riot of questioning and peer pressure would erupt. What I actually encountered was a slight shoulder shrug and an, “Ok, so what do you want me to order for you?”
Like I said, the worst is always in your head. People don’t care if you don’t drink.
Saying no feels empowering, but if that makes you uncomfortable then you don’t have to be so direct. Say whatever you want if it keeps you from drinking. Lines I’ve used include: “I want to stop drinking and just see how I feel, like a detox.” Or, “I’m trying to be healthier.” Or, “I don’t feel like wine tonight, I’m craving coffee.” Odds are, your friends won’t give it another thought and it’s done. Crisis averted.
We know full well how hard it is to muster the courage to say no to a drink. Otherwise, we would all have a healthy, moderate drinking lifestyle like all our favorite TV show characters who jokingly drink “too much wine” with their catty girlfriends. It’s a game of willpower, motivation, accountability, and fortitude.
Bonus story: I can’t tell you how many times I was asked if I was pregnant or if I was “feeling OK” because I wasn’t drinking. The concern on the faces of my loved ones, because I had water instead of wine, was gold. I know it’s mean, but going out sober was hard so I had to have fun with it wherever I could.
If you’re going out sober, go out with a plan. I’ve found this to be the best method before losing myself to madness. Order a non-alcoholic drink, be it a coffee, soft drink, water or a mocktail, and pay for it right away; do not keep a tab open. This way, when you start to feel the edginess creep in, you can quickly say your good-byes and GTFO. Then go home, applaud yourself for not giving in (it feels freaking awesome!) and remember that you can do it again next time.
Every time you modify old behaviors (like turning down a drink) new neuro pathways connect in your brain. This makes it easier to repeat next time you’re offered a drink. So, politely turn it down and strengthen that connection even further. If you slip, you slip. It happens. But those neuro pathways are still connected so you might be able to rebound easier than you thought, so keep going.
During the first month of your quit, refrain, as much as humanly possible, from going out to social gatherings. You’re new to the quit and your confidence fluctuates on a day to day basis. Going out sober is toughest at this time. Being around alcohol will most likely stir up some anxieties inside you. When anxiety comes near alcohol, you have a sure-fire way to start drinking again. Or, best case scenario, you dwell in extreme discomfort. So, just like you’ve removed all alcohol from your home, you must also remove alcohol situations as well. It’s not forever, it’s just temporary.
When you’ve made it through the first month, congratulations you did great! But the game isn’t over. Two years sober and I still struggle with some social settings and alcohol, but not nearly as bad as my first 90 days. You’re still vulnerable to mood swings, cravings, jitters and peer pressure.
Here’s the struggle. After a few months without drinking, you start to feel pretty good about yourself. You got this, you’ve made it through the worst and now you’re starting to coast. Then, out of nowhere, you think, I’ve got this alcohol problem under control, I think I can handle one drink now. And, maybe you do. You order one drink, then go home and think, Hell yeah, I had just one drink and I didn’t get wasted. I controlled my cravings and I’m perfectly sober still.
Then, a few weeks later there’s another gathering and you think, Hey, I did so well a few weeks ago, so now I can definitely handle a drink without getting crazy. So, you drink again. Maybe you stay lucid, maybe you get a little tipsy this time. Then you go out again the next week, you order a few drinks, you have a good time and get a solid buzz, or you get drunk. Do you see where snowball is going?
We stopped drinking because we had a problem. Taking a vacation from alcohol doesn’t solve the problem, it just postpones our next plight. It’s easier to not drink today than to drink and try to get sober again.
Two years later, I have very few problems going out sober. I love ordering specialty coffees, virgin mojitos, and other mocktails. My friends know I don’t drink and expect me to order alcohol-free options. They don’t care. I can focus on them and their and stories without interjecting my inebriated nonsense. And if I’m feeling jittery I just tell them I need to go home. Crisis averted, once again. So, unless you like sitting in uncomfortable settings with water while everyone around you gets wasted, then I suggest you stay in. Don’t tempt temptation, or you’ll end up feeding the same habits you are simultaneously trying to crush. Remember your goals, and don’t quit the quit. You’ve got this.
Jennifer Coletta is a blogger for ExpatHousewife.com, a blog dedicated to travel, expat life, self-improvement and alcohol-free living. Her days are spent writing for her site, and evenings are dedicated to working virtually for clients in the US. Born in California, she resides in The Netherlands with her husband and pet rabbit.
Find more of her posts on http://ift.tt/2vBapdD
And http://ift.tt/2wtNopq
You’ve read How to Go Out When You’re Sober, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
You’re reading How to Go Out When You’re Sober, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
If you’re trying to quit drinking, going out sober is a bitter-sweet reminder (more bitter than sweet) of how tough your decision to quit will be. There’s nothing like trying to keep yourself together as you walk into a bar and savor the raw awkwardness of ordering a juice instead of your favorite draught beer. The edgy feeling as you join your friends, all enjoying fresh cocktails and chilled white wine. When you sit down, a few friends greet you with questionable glances at your beverage choice. Trying to play it off, you keep it cool. You smile, strike up the conversation and let the night roll.
But, then you start to think, those drinks look so good! They’re just sitting there, cold and delicious. Here I am with my juice, hating everything about the world and juice at this very moment. Why did I order a stupid juice? Then, as the night carries on, a little jittery feeling keeps you on your toes. Maybe I should just have one, and then that will be it. I’ll go home and start my quit tomorrow. I don’t want to be a buzz kill. I can have one, it’s no big deal if it’s just one. Everyone is drinking, and I look out of place… and so the inner dialogue goes.
Like others, going out sober with friends was one of my biggest fears when I quit drinking. I know it’s difficult, and that’s why I’m writing this blog piece. Remember, difficult is not the same as impossible. You can get through it, but first you need to get out of your head.
Sobriety is a mental game, and you need to first stop any thoughts that tease your mental strength. I use the word tease because we tend to think with false confidence when we enter a bar sober. We think we have a good game plan, like, One drink and then I’ll go home. But, how many times have we stayed for just one drink in these fun social settings? How do you react when your friend buys you a shot and demands you to take it with him? What about your boss who uses a happy hour to bond outside the workplace? Or your sister’s wedding with an open bar?
Your mental game is key. If you’re going out sober, be ready to say no when offered a drink; it’s not as bad as you think. Most worries that come with sobriety are only in your head. People won’t care if you’re not drinking because it doesn’t affect their needs. However, if you do have a needy friend that can’t drink alone, then schedule a coffee date with them instead. But, the first time I turned down a drink, I thought a riot of questioning and peer pressure would erupt. What I actually encountered was a slight shoulder shrug and an, “Ok, so what do you want me to order for you?”
Like I said, the worst is always in your head. People don’t care if you don’t drink.
Saying no feels empowering, but if that makes you uncomfortable then you don’t have to be so direct. Say whatever you want if it keeps you from drinking. Lines I’ve used include: “I want to stop drinking and just see how I feel, like a detox.” Or, “I’m trying to be healthier.” Or, “I don’t feel like wine tonight, I’m craving coffee.” Odds are, your friends won’t give it another thought and it’s done. Crisis averted.
We know full well how hard it is to muster the courage to say no to a drink. Otherwise, we would all have a healthy, moderate drinking lifestyle like all our favorite TV show characters who jokingly drink “too much wine” with their catty girlfriends. It’s a game of willpower, motivation, accountability, and fortitude.
Bonus story: I can’t tell you how many times I was asked if I was pregnant or if I was “feeling OK” because I wasn’t drinking. The concern on the faces of my loved ones, because I had water instead of wine, was gold. I know it’s mean, but going out sober was hard so I had to have fun with it wherever I could.
If you’re going out sober, go out with a plan. I’ve found this to be the best method before losing myself to madness. Order a non-alcoholic drink, be it a coffee, soft drink, water or a mocktail, and pay for it right away; do not keep a tab open. This way, when you start to feel the edginess creep in, you can quickly say your good-byes and GTFO. Then go home, applaud yourself for not giving in (it feels freaking awesome!) and remember that you can do it again next time.
Every time you modify old behaviors (like turning down a drink) new neuro pathways connect in your brain. This makes it easier to repeat next time you’re offered a drink. So, politely turn it down and strengthen that connection even further. If you slip, you slip. It happens. But those neuro pathways are still connected so you might be able to rebound easier than you thought, so keep going.
During the first month of your quit, refrain, as much as humanly possible, from going out to social gatherings. You’re new to the quit and your confidence fluctuates on a day to day basis. Going out sober is toughest at this time. Being around alcohol will most likely stir up some anxieties inside you. When anxiety comes near alcohol, you have a sure-fire way to start drinking again. Or, best case scenario, you dwell in extreme discomfort. So, just like you’ve removed all alcohol from your home, you must also remove alcohol situations as well. It’s not forever, it’s just temporary.
When you’ve made it through the first month, congratulations you did great! But the game isn’t over. Two years sober and I still struggle with some social settings and alcohol, but not nearly as bad as my first 90 days. You’re still vulnerable to mood swings, cravings, jitters and peer pressure.
Here’s the struggle. After a few months without drinking, you start to feel pretty good about yourself. You got this, you’ve made it through the worst and now you’re starting to coast. Then, out of nowhere, you think, I’ve got this alcohol problem under control, I think I can handle one drink now. And, maybe you do. You order one drink, then go home and think, Hell yeah, I had just one drink and I didn’t get wasted. I controlled my cravings and I’m perfectly sober still.
Then, a few weeks later there’s another gathering and you think, Hey, I did so well a few weeks ago, so now I can definitely handle a drink without getting crazy. So, you drink again. Maybe you stay lucid, maybe you get a little tipsy this time. Then you go out again the next week, you order a few drinks, you have a good time and get a solid buzz, or you get drunk. Do you see where snowball is going?
We stopped drinking because we had a problem. Taking a vacation from alcohol doesn’t solve the problem, it just postpones our next plight. It’s easier to not drink today than to drink and try to get sober again.
Two years later, I have very few problems going out sober. I love ordering specialty coffees, virgin mojitos, and other mocktails. My friends know I don’t drink and expect me to order alcohol-free options. They don’t care. I can focus on them and their and stories without interjecting my inebriated nonsense. And if I’m feeling jittery I just tell them I need to go home. Crisis averted, once again. So, unless you like sitting in uncomfortable settings with water while everyone around you gets wasted, then I suggest you stay in. Don’t tempt temptation, or you’ll end up feeding the same habits you are simultaneously trying to crush. Remember your goals, and don’t quit the quit. You’ve got this.
Jennifer Coletta is a blogger for ExpatHousewife.com, a blog dedicated to travel, expat life, self-improvement and alcohol-free living. Her days are spent writing for her site, and evenings are dedicated to working virtually for clients in the US. Born in California, she resides in The Netherlands with her husband and pet rabbit.
Find more of her posts on http://ift.tt/2vBapdD
And http://ift.tt/2wtNopq
You’ve read How to Go Out When You’re Sober, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
With each election, Rwandan President Kagame has tightened his grip on power, and the elections have increasingly turned into a performance of his authority. Kagame’s control is visible even in seemingly benign events. When he announced a ban on plastic bags, local officials eradicated plastic bags from Rwanda almost at once. When he decreed that all Rwandans should use footwear, Rwandans purchased shoes. Some Rwandans carry their shoes on their heads, so as not to wear them out, and walk in them only when officials are present.
This fabulous house designed by the architectural firm ITN Architects by the hands of its architect Aidan Halloran in 2017, is located in Melbourne VIC, Australia and has an area of 280 square meters. Customers wanted to have enough space to accommodate a growing family. The semicircular courtyard was introduced to help living spaces flow together, while providing some separation. The garden will eventually dominate all views – creating an..
The post House Designed by ITN Architects in Melbourne, Australia appeared first on HomeDSGN.
A healthy marriage comprises of many different roles. On any given day, you may be the sexy lover, the secret keeper, the playmate or the best friend. This plethora of roles you play contributes to the quality of your marriage.
Being friends with your spouse is guaranteed to make your marriage more fun for both of you. It will help deepen your bond as well. Being friends with your mate means more shared activities, free and open communication and a marriage that is the envy of all your friends.
Wondering why friendship in marriage is important? Here are 10 good reasons:
Many couples get together because they like each other’s company and there’s physical attraction. But, that doesn’t necessarily mean they enjoy each other’s hobbies. When you have already established friendship, you likely have a hobby in common with your partner.
This opens the way for more interesting date nights as a married couple. Instead of going out to dinner, you can head out for a Sunday morning surf, try golfing, play video games all afternoon or go on a photography hike. Having similar hobbies means more bonding time for you as a couple.
See Also: 6 Hobbies For Couples That Can Strengthen Your Relationship
By being friends with your partner, you have probably already heard dozens of stories about his ex-girlfriends. You may even have been friends with some of them! Not only does this give you full disclosure about your mate’s romantic past, it can also make you feel less jealous and more secure in your relationship.
Doesn’t it tickle you on some level when your friends watch you and your spouse interact and then wistfully exclaim: “I wish I had that!” Not that you’re concerned with what other people think of your marriage, right?
As friends, you’ve had your share of ups and downs. This also means that you’ve probably had your fair share of arguments, too.
By establishing friendship in your marriage, you’ll know how to communicate in a disagreement with your partner and you won’t be afraid to apologize when you are wrong. You know how to consider your partner’s feelings and put yourself in his shoes.
This is friendship at its best. This makes marriage more fun since there’s no pride getting in the way of doing the right thing, particularly when it comes to apologizing, admitting wrongdoing and making up with your lover.
Furthermore, there isn’t that looming fear of this ‘D’ word when you already have a long history of friendship together. This allows you to be open with one another without worrying what effect your honesty will have on your relationship.
Your children will depend on you for many things, like food, emotional support and someone to entertain them. They’ll look up to you as an example of how to behave and what standards to expect from life and love. This bodes well for those who have made friendship an important part of their marriage.
Your children will consider your marriage as the basis for what they can expect from their marriage in the future. Your friendship and fun-loving attitude towards one another will set an excellent example for your little ones.
Does transparency in your marriage make it much more fun?
Since you are already friends, you have already heard the best and the worst experiences the other has gone through. From crazy exes to not-so-dignified behavior, you know your partner’s dirty history in and out. This takes a lot of the guess work out of your relationship and leaves more time for you to enjoy each other’s company. You’ll be able to share your problems without fearing what the other person will think.
Friendship makes a marriage more fun by keeping things interesting. When you are friends on top of being lovers, it will keep the relationship from feeling stale or routine. Having fun and laughing together bonds you as a couple and heightens your desire to spend time together. What could be more interesting than taking up new hobbies with your best friend in the world?
See Also: 3 Ways To Inject More Humor Into Your Relationship
Is there anything worse than that clunky, uncomfortable silence that comes from not knowing a new friend well enough? Never fear! This will never happen when you have friendship in your marriage.
You can feel completely comfortable with any silent gaps that appear in conversation with your partner. You won’t feel the need to search for old, embarrassing instances from your past to fill the void. Instead, you’ll simply bask in the glow of one another and enjoy those extra moments of silence that you have together.
When you’re good friends with your spouse, you and your partner both know how to be excited for each other. There is no secret jealousy or looming resentment. When you achieve something great, your partner will be right there celebrating with you. They can show you full support and make you feel special.
Being in a close relationship means there is more oxytocin flowing through your body. This “love drug” makes you feel accomplished and appreciated. It raises your trust and lowers stress and anxiety. The happier you are, the happier your marriage will be.
Friendship makes marriage more loving, more comfortable and more fun to be in. It is an aspect of marriage that needs nurturing to stay fiery and alive.
So, make time for your mate every day so you can nurture your relationship and make your marriage as fun as it can be.
The post Friendship’s Day Special: Why Friendship Makes Marriage More Fun appeared first on Dumb Little Man.
Sig Nordal 