A serious bird with a playful look, Northern Hawk Owls live year round in Alaska. Able to spot prey a half mile away, this skilled hunter can also seize small animals hiding under a foot of snow. This one at Kodiak National Wildlife Refuge is keeping his eyes on you. Photo by Lisa Hupp, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.
Is your relationship worth fighting for? Is the stress of the struggle worth it?
If you are currently in a romantic relationship or marriage and you’re having doubts about whether to fight for it or not, there are a few ways to tell.
Here are 5 signs that you can put away the white flag and salvage your relationship.
Yes, this phrase is one of the most cliché break-up excuses. Cliché or not, looking at your own, personal intimacy issues can provide great insight into your current relationship.
Maybe your issues have nothing to do with the love and companionship your partner offers. Maybe it has something to do with your own emotional baggage.
Are you seeing a pattern in your relationship turmoil? Are the same issues that ended your last relationship haunting this one?
What’s the common denominator?
Yep, you guessed it right – it’s you.
Though I’m painting a pretty dismal picture, all hope is not lost.
If the only problems plaguing your current relationship are deeply rooted in your own insecurities, the first step is to acknowledge them. Take a step back and examine how these personality traits are affecting your relationship. You’d be surprised to see how a few slight changes to your state of mind, communication tactics or displays of affection can change things for the better.
Do thoughts of attending a couples retreat or counseling turn your stomach? Do your palms get sweaty and blood pressure rise when you and your loved one are left in a room together?
If working to save your relationship sounds like too much work, then it’s probably time to move on.
But if you can clearly see salvageable pieces of your broken puzzle or if you can still easily name at least five admirable qualities about your partner, there may be hope.
So, make a list and include pros and cons of you two as a couple and your partner individually. You might be surprised to discover that one awesome ‘pro’ can actually outweigh a long list of ‘cons’ or the other way around.
If you’re willing to work things out, then the relationship is definitely worth fighting for.
See Also: When to Say Fuck It and STAY in Relationship
Maybe it’s jealousy. Maybe it’s possessiveness.
Whatever it is, if the thought of your partner moving on or moving out turns your stomach, then you’re probably not ready to end things.
Ending a toxic relationship usually leaves you with a feeling of freedom, release, and peace of mind. All these feelings are a good indication that you made the right decision.
Sleepless nights and conflicted emotions, on the other hand, mean the opposite. If your heart and mind are torn over whether to end things, you should probably give it another shot.
There’s no worse feeling in this world than regret. Avoid the “what if” by giving things another try.
We all say things when we’re mad and sometimes, it can get ugly. You blurt out things you later wish you could take back.
Often times, people use idle threats and make empty promises in the heat of an argument.
Have you ever threatened to leave only to go around the corner for a beer and return home after cooling off? Or promised to never name call again only to forget your promise during the very next fight?
If the only time you can think of leaving your partner or ending the relationship is when you’re angry or high on adrenaline, then it’s likely an irrational and superficial emotion. This means you should pause for further consideration.
People say things like “I can’t live without you”, but do they really mean it?
If you can’t imagine your life without your partner, then you have a great foundation to work with.
When you have a solid relationship, talking about the future is important.
Some people depend their life plans on their partners. They will plan their life, career choices, and thoughts about kids based on their significant others.
For you, do your long-term goals all include your partner? Can you not imagine purchasing a home or growing old with anyone else? Even when times are tough and the two of you can’t seem to get on the same page, do you still foresee a future together?
If your answer is yes, then the two of you should be willing to work through whatever issues you are having.
See Also: 7 Best Secrets To Building Lasting Relationships
Now that you know that your romantic relationship is worth saving, you can take the necessary steps.
Keep the lines of communication and your mind open. Try not to go on the defensive when your partner expresses concern or worry about your relationship status. Don’t jump the gun and call things off at the first sign of trouble.
Yes, relationships take work but if it’s a relationship worth saving, it will feel less like work and more like an investment in your future.
The post 5 Signs Your Romantic Relationship Is Worth Fighting For appeared first on Dumb Little Man.
These sensual images, with curving shoulders, breasts, and thighs outlined in black, with clever references to both old masters and contemporary styles, were a bald commercial venture. But these nudes overcome the cynical appeal to a male gaze. Their bodies are idealized, smooth shapes of sex, but their faces are those of individual women: some gaze out frankly, or peer teasingly, from beneath long lashes; others close their eyes or let their heads loll wearily, as if bored with the whole affair. It is as though Modigliani himself found peace in their calm stillness, away from his fevered life, away from the mass death and ravages of the war.
What a splendid era this was going to be, with one remaining superpower spreading capitalism and liberal democracy around the world. Instead, democracy and capitalism seem increasingly incompatible. Global capitalism has escaped the bounds of the postwar mixed economy that had reconciled dynamism with security through the regulation of finance, the empowerment of labor, a welfare state, and elements of public ownership. Wealth has crowded out citizenship, producing greater concentration of both income and influence, as well as loss of faith in democracy. The result is an economy of extreme inequality and instability, organized less for the many than for the few.
Mary Shelley’s original three-volume novel Frankenstein was published quietly and anonymously in 1818 to little acclaim. The Quarterly Review stonily observed: “Our taste and our judgment alike revolt at this kind of writing…. The author leaves us in doubt whether he is not as mad as his hero.” If they had guessed the author was in reality a young woman, only eighteen when she began her first draft, no doubt the critical chorus of disapproval would have been even more thunderous. It is astonishing that the book ever got written at all.
Every author has a story beyond the one that they put down on paper. The Barnes & Noble Podcast goes between the lines with today’s most interesting writers, exploring what inspires them, what confounds them, and what they were thinking when they wrote the books we’re talking about.
When Debbie Macomber decided to become a novelist in the late 1970s, she rented a typewriter and worked away at a kitchen table while raising four children at the same time. Four manuscripts and five years later, she sold her first romance — which would become the novel Heartsong — and started a career that would lead to a raft of bestsellers and over 200 million books in print, including the Cedar Cove and Rose Harbor novels, the knitting-themed series that began with The Shop on Blossom Street and many others. On this episode, Debbie Macomber talks with Amanda Cecil about her special love for the holidays and her latest heartwarming story, Merry and Bright.
Christmas is the season of the heart, and #1 New York Times bestselling author Debbie Macomber is here to warm yours with a delightful holiday novel of first impressions and second chances.Merry Knight is pretty busy these days. She’s taking care of her family, baking cookies, decorating for the holidays, and hoping to stay out of the crosshairs of her stressed and by-the-book boss at the consulting firm where she temps. Her own social life is the last thing she has in mind, much less a man. Without her knowledge, Merry’s well-meaning mom and brother create an online dating profile for her—minus her photo—and the matches start rolling in. Initially, Merry is incredulous, but she reluctantly decides to give it a whirl.Soon Merry finds herself chatting with a charming stranger, a man with similar interests and an unmistakably kind soul. Their online exchanges become the brightest part of her day. But meeting face-to-face is altogether different, and her special friend is the last person Merry expects—or desires. Still, sometimes hearts can see what our eyes cannot. In this satisfying seasonal tale, unanticipated love is only a click away.
Click here to see all books by Debbie Macomber.
Like this podcast? Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher to discover intriguing new conversations every week.
The post The B&N Podcast: Debbie Macomber Podcast appeared first on The Barnes & Noble Review.
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Whether you were expecting it, initiating it or it just came out of the blue, handling a break-up like a man can be really difficult. It doesn’t matter if it’s the best thing for you or if you cared about her at all, there is going to be pain when things are over.
So, is coping really different for men than for women?
Well, the answer to that is yes and no.
Emotions are emotions and recognizing how you are feeling is important. If you try to ignore your feelings, then they are likely to surface somewhere else and become destructive.
To help you cope with a breakup, below are some tips to get you through the hard times.
You hear stories all the time of men crying and drinking alcohol just to forget. Skip this technique. Alcohol is a depressant and is far from lifting your spirits. It is more likely to make you feel worse both physically and emotionally.
And with impaired judgment, you’ll be at a higher risk of getting involved in destructive behaviors. Drunken one-night-stands or emotionally driven bar brawls will not get you through a breakup.
Or if you are already there, consider taking on a new challenge. Training for a half-marathon or setting a new goal for bench press can provide a healthy physical outlet for your anxiety and emotional stress. Being physically active is also a great way to clear your head. So, drag your sad self into the gym.
Really, this is a pathway to trouble on many levels. In most cases, women are looking for more than an hour of your time and after a breakup, you are not likely to be in the condition for that.
And there’s a long list of negative consequences when it comes to jumping in and out of bed with people. The last thing you want is to need an antibiotic or to be researching the latest in crib features.
Guy friends, couple friends or a female friend – anyone who cares about you and that you enjoy being with is a good bet during this time. You may feel like you would rather be alone but override that desire and spend time with people. You don’t have to get too involved in discussing your feelings with them.
It goes against all masculinity rules but crying is a natural response to sadness and can be very cathartic. You don’t need to do this in front of other people.
That nagging inclination to call or text your ex will always be there.
Maybe the break-up was a mistake, right? If you could just talk it out, maybe things will be fine again.
No.
You broke up for a reason and whether it was the right reason or the wrong one, you both need some time to gain perspective. Repeatedly calling will not make things better. In fact, it can make things worse.
Many people experience physical symptoms associated with intense emotions. Some people can’t eat, feel physically ill or can’t sleep. Others overeat, abuse alcohol or other substances or sleep all the time. None of these are healthy options.
Try to ensure you have the right nutrition and make sure you get 7 to 8 hours of sleep at night.
See Also: What To Do After A Break Up: A Handbook For Every Newly Single Guy
Very few of us get through life without a heartbreak. If you have ever loved someone, then you have taken the risk of getting your heart broken through a breakup. Try and remember that everything will be alright in time. While that time is passing, you need to do what you can to ensure you are ready when your next opportunity for love comes around.
The post The Best Tips For Handling A Breakup Like A Man appeared first on Dumb Little Man.
The sky is ablaze with color during sunset at Ninepipe National Wildlife Refuge in Montana. This wildlife refuge rests among the prairie potholes of the Mission Valley to serve primarily as a refuge and breeding ground for native birds. Photo by Dave Fitzpatrick, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.
Polite kids are a joy, aren’t they?
Welcomed anywhere. Praised and held up as role models for their less polite peers. “Please” and “thank you” rolling off their well-behaved tongues.
Like learning the alphabet and counting, saying thank you and please are embedded in most children’s vocabulary very early on.
What a shame!
Now, hear me out…
My parents were sticklers for good manners. I was taught to ask politely for everything and to thank everyone every time.
And I have to admit, being courteous got me to a lot of places.
But I missed out on something fabulous until I was way beyond thirty. I lost years of profound joy, contentment, and peace of mind. I innocently overlooked most of my blessings.
Because being thankful stopped at saying ‘thank you’.
After those words have been said, my thoughts moved on. My heart and emotions never got involved.
Childhood birthdays and Christmas were amazing. I got a lot of lovely gifts from relatives and friends of the family. I ended up getting almost everything I’ve been ogling in shops for months and months.
And I’d dutifully write my thank you letters, always including how much I loved playing with, wearing or reading their gift. After getting my letters in the post box, my job was done and so was my joy.
All my good fortune, all the love and thought poured into making those celebrations so special escaped me.
You see, like so many children, I was taught to say ‘thank you’. By the time I became an adult, it had just become another phrase to trot out.
And I missed out on the true meaning of gratitude.
Now, I finally understand the magnitude of gratitude, its far-reaching effects, and benefits to all of us. And oh boy, am I grateful I found it.
Rather than teaching me to say ‘thank you’, I wish my parents had explained to me what being grateful and thankful truly meant. Now I understand what it really means:
All the great people and good things in my life- what an immense difference they make every day. By running over how lucky I am that they’re a part of my world, I feel safe, loved, and comforted.
All the good fortune I have that others aren’t lucky enough to have. What a very different and difficult story my life could have been without those blessings. Recognizing that makes me feel optimistic and compassionate in equal measure.
All the kindness, advice, and experience I encounter make a huge impact on the way my life pans out. What a difficult time I would be having if I was left on my own. Acknowledging that makes me feel secure and watched over.
All the freedom and opportunities that I have make my life unconditional and interesting. How oppressive and fraught with frustration my days could have turned out otherwise. Valuing that makes me feel carefree and confident that I’ll choose the correct path, even if I have to back up every once in a while.
All the positive abilities, achievements, and qualities of others that bump into my life make it so much easier. What a narrow line I’d be walking without them. Respecting that makes me feel at ease that we’re all in this great life together.
All the great ideas, generosity, and positivity others share with me make my world a better place to live in. Sharing that with others makes me feel I’m playing a valuable part in this great, global community.
All the pleasurable and fun things that bounce into my life make my days light and more enjoyable. What an endless trudge it could be otherwise. Knowing that all of those things are on offer makes me feel happy, satisfied, and recharged enough to keep on going.
My days were very thin before I discovered gratitude. Looking back, it seems like I was simply skating on the surface of what my life could have been. All these amazing, positive feelings that I now treasure would have been missed.
Saying thank you is not the same as feeling it.
Being truly thankful is an amazing experience. It adds a whole extra dimension to every day. It makes the ordinary extraordinary.
What will you share with your children?
None of us need a bunch of rude little monsters roaming through our days. No thanks!
Rather than telling your kids to be thankful, explain to them why they should be thankful.
And instead of telling them to be grateful, explain why.
Better still, show them.
The post Why You Should Never Tell Your Kids To Say Thank You appeared first on Dumb Little Man.
You’re reading 15 Quotes on Self-Love and Acceptance That Will Change Your Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
Do you know that self-love can literally save your life?
It did for the famous entrepreneur and bestselling Author, Kamal Ravikant who was about to kill himself when he discovered a way out of depression through accepting and loving himself. Self-love has also given Khalil Rafati a way out and helped him move out from being a homeless crack addict to one of America`s most respected multimillionaires.
Self-love can help you regain confidence, express life fully and take a swing at setbacks or any major failure you may have suffered from. In other words, it will help you be calm, be collected, and be the solution to your own life. But only if you’re motivated enough to do it.
For that, I`ve made you a list of 15 self-love quotes that you must read. Write them down or print them out and keep them in front of you always and forever. They can really change your life.
On what it means to have self-love“
1- Loving yourself…does not mean being self-absorbed or narcissistic, or disregarding others. Rather it means welcoming yourself as the most honored guest in your own heart, a guest worthy of respect, a lovable companion.” – Margot Anand
On being the only way to becoming authentic
2- “I think the most important thing in life is self-love, because if you don’t have self-love, and respect for everything about your own body, your own soul, your own capsule, then how can you have an authentic relationship with anyone else?” – Shailene Woodley
On being treated fairly
3- “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” – Harvey Fierstein
4- “Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn’t have the time to sit around and talk about you. What’s important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.” ― C. JoyBell C.
On the difference between self and romantic love
5- “A lot of times, in our culture and our society, we put romantic love somehow on a higher plane than self-love and friendship love. You can’t do that. You have to honor and really fully invest in all these different loving relationships.” – Delilah
6- “The principle we call self-love never seeks anything external for the sake of the thing, but only as a means of happiness or good: particular affections rest in the external things themselves.” – Joseph Butler
On being your own best friend
7- “When you are your own best friend, you don’t endlessly seek out relationships, friendships, and validation from the wrong sources because you realize that the only approval and validation you need is your own.” – Mandy Hale
8- “You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” – Diane Von Furstenberg
On why you should love yourself first
9- “If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.” – Barbara De Angelis
10- “Self-love is really a foundation for everything, and however you practice or express that is so, so important.” – Solange Knowles
11- “Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.” – Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
On what makes someone beautiful
12- “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassions, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” – Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
On knowing your true value
13- “If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” – Fred Rogers
14- “A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life.” – Andrew Matthews
And finally,
15- “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball
Rum Tan is a passionate entrepreneur. He is currently active managing the largest home tuition agency in Singapore, Smile Tutor which provides top-notch tuition job opportunities for part-time and full-time private tutors. Part-time and full-time school teachers can also find tutoring jobs easily through its innovative job board.
You’ve read 15 Quotes on Self-Love and Acceptance That Will Change Your Life, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
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Sig Nordal 