Photo The Duran
Virtually unchanged except by the forces of nature, Gates of the Arctic National Park and Preserve in Alaska is as wild as it is vast. Through endless summer days and winter nights colored by the Northern Lights, visitors travel by rivers and mountains yet to be named. With no roads, no trails and very few people, it’s the perfect place for those seeking solitude and natural beauty. Photo by Carl Johnson, National Park Service.
On the campaign trail, Donald Trump praised Vladimir Putin’s “leadership,” called him “brilliant,” and said he would “get along” with him. For Russian-Americans like myself, this was when Russia came home. “Holy autocrats” and “Father Tsars” have ruled our motherland for centuries, so we can spot the type even when he comes in the guise of “Make America Great Again.” We agonized when our American friends told us Trump could not win. Our memories of totalitarianism were too fresh to discount gut feeling in favor of opinion polls.
Most people who have been through a divorce would probably find it one of the most challenging times in their lives. It’s a time of grief, mourning, upheaval, and changes that you never dreamed you’d have to make. Social support, emotional support, and self-care are completely important during this painful transition.
For centuries, writing has been used to express people’s deepest feelings and find meaning and purpose in their lives. By using well-thought-out prompts, you can do the same thing and experience the benefits of expressive writing.
Introspective writing, for example, can help lift up your spirit. It can also benefit you emotionally and physically.
Writing can help you in practical ways as well. How?
Below are some great examples:
For one, you can use it to plan how you are going to tell your family and friends about your impending divorce.
It can be uncomfortable and awkward for everyone involved. This makes it critical that you carefully plan how you’re going to tell them the news.
Try writing about how you would like your divorce to be perceived. You will probably need a page or more to explore this in writing. Eventually, you’ll be able to narrow it down to a sentence or two.
Focus on what you would like the divorce to be like and decide how much you are willing to share with different people. You will have different versions for the children and for family and friends.
Children will need to know concrete facts, like where are they going to live and how often they will see each parent. Anticipate the questions they might have and plan your answers.
For friends, focus on the ideal way that you are aiming for. You might say something like, “Peter and I have been struggling in our marriage for a long time and we have decided to get a divorce. We would like to remain friends.”
However you decide to word it, practicing on paper will help make conveying this difficult message easier.
You can also support yourself during this time by writing a letter to yourself, expressing encouragement and love.
It is vital that you forgive yourself for your part in the dissolution of your marriage. And also give the assurance that you can successfully move forward. Then self-address, stamp, and mail it!
Another enlightening exercise is to sit down and write the complete story of your marriage, with a beginning, middle, and end. Do it in a few short sessions as it can be overwhelming.
As you write the story, remember that the good memories are still yours to cherish. And feel the relief that the bad times will soon be over.
It is vitally important that you begin to forgive your ex – no matter how hard that may be. There is a Buddhist saying that holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else – you are the one who gets burned.
Most importantly, when writing the history of your marriage, do not end the story with the divorce as that isn’t where your story ends!
Extend this story into your future, describing how resilient you inherently are and how bright your future will be. Detail what you learned from your mistakes and how your next relationship will be different. Then, go on to describe your ideal future!
See Also: How To Overcome Negative Emotions Using 5 Writing Techniques
The very best way to heal is to begin living your dreams. So, list your goals in the next five years and what you would like your life to look like ten years down the road. And when you are ready, list baby steps you can take to realize those goals.
Finally, one of the simplest but most powerful practices is to write a daily gratitude list. As I wrote in my book Write For Recovery:
“No matter how bad your life is at any given point, even in the worst of times, there are always things for which we can be grateful. A practice of appreciating the good things in your life nurtures feelings of optimism and joy. It also gets your ego out of the way so your spirit can shine.
A minute of gratitude is like a vacation for your heart and mind. And just as the runner gets a second wind and is stronger with every run, gratitude is strengthened by repeated effort.”
The act of acknowledging our blessings has been shown to increase serotonin and dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitters in our brains. A practice of appreciating the good things in your life nurtures feelings of optimism and joy.
A minute of gratitude is like a vacation for your heart and mind. You cannot hold anger at your ex and bemoan your past while you are busy being consciously grateful for all the precious little gifts in your life!
See Also: The Magic of Appreciation: How to Practice Gratitude
The post How to Heal From Divorce Through Writing appeared first on Dumb Little Man.
You’re reading What Happens When Productivity Meets Mental Illness?, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
More and more people nowadays struggle with poor mental health. This is an unfortunate outcome of the stressful nature of modern life. And what many of us don’t realize is that, when you suffer from disorders of the mind, it might reflect negatively on the quality and quality of your work. But how and why does mental illness affect employee productivity? Let’s find out.
Several studies in the past have uncovered that employees who struggle with mental illnesses, and particularly with depression, take more sick days than those who aren’t in this situation. The underlying cause behind this is obvious. When you’re unwell, you feel less motivated to face your daily responsibilities and complete tasks.
This happens in the case of physical diseases as well, so when the one you’re struggling with affects your mind, the situation is even more serious. All in all, it’s hard to be productive when your psyche isn’t up for it. Needless to say, pressuring yourself into doing things regardless leads to burnouts and even mental breakdowns, so avoid that at all costs.
Instead, try to regain your willingness to do your job organically. Take it slow, one day at a time. This is completely possible when you’re being patient with yourself. Still, you will need a bit of a push in the right direction. Here are five actionable steps that will help you remain productive even when you’re struggling with mental illness.
There is a clear connection between the conditions in which an activity is sustained and both absenteeism and presenteeism rates among workers who struggle with poor mental health. How much you like or dislike your job is an important aspect of this. Naturally, you will be far more motivated to show up and perform your tasks if you enjoy doing them in the first place.
Therefore, choosing a field you are passionate about is crucial. If you’re unsure of how to proceed in this direction, volunteering for a while to try out several occupations is a good idea. Nevertheless, while this can be truly fulfilling in many ways, you need to remember that most of it will be unpaid. So, if you choose to go down this road, keep that in mind.
But realistically speaking, not everyone can afford not working until they find their true vocation. Thus, feeling financially pressured to keep doing something that doesn’t make you happy turns into an additional stressor which can impact your mental health negatively. When that is the case, the best thing you can do is focus on the advantages of your current profession.
A recent study has shown that setting goals is effective in the treatment of mental illness. Most of the participants in the study were able to aptly identify what needed to be done and attain that objective. Thus, you shouldn’t be afraid of wanting to accomplish certain things. Your disorder isn’t as limiting as you might make it out to be.
However, it’s important to keep these goals realistic. Expecting too much of yourself and not being able to achieve can impact your self-esteem, which is something most patients already struggle with as is. Be honest with yourself. What skills do you possess? How long would it take you to finalize a task using them? Answer these questions truthfully.
Now that your objectives are clearly outlined, it’s time to get to work on them. To be able to do this, you will need to focus. Nevertheless, people who suffer from disorders of the mind often have trouble with that. Understand that you might not always be able to concentrate and avoid pressuring yourself into it. Instead, let your motivation flow naturally into the situation.
Clutter is one of the main distractors all of us are faced with daily. And when your mental illness is already making it hard to concentrate on something, it can be even more aggravating. This is why staying
organized is essential if you want to pay better attention to what you’re doing. Cleaning out your desk is a simple initial step you can take in this direction.
But even if your space is neat and tidy, the office as a whole might still be a mess. If you’re finding that improper desk and supply arrangements are damaging your ability to do your job, you will need to take it up with your employer. Provided they are a sensible, understanding person, and you explain the situation candidly to them, some changes might get made.
Given your current situation, it’s important to know that failure is an option. If and when it does happen, try not to let it bring you down. Even the most successful people today have their own stories of decline. So, instead of allowing it to lower self-esteem and destroy your confidence, use it as an opportunity to learn an important lesson about growth.
Staying motivated and productive while you battle anxiety, depression, or even schizophrenia is an achievable prospect. If you take it one day at a time and are realistic about your professional expectations, you are bound to achieve success sooner or later. The essential thing is to never stop trying your best.
Alex Moore is a psychology blogger entranced by the word “productive”. When he’s not nagging those around him with stories of positivity, you’ll usually find him writing for www.schizlife.com
You’ve read What Happens When Productivity Meets Mental Illness?, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
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Every author has a story beyond the one that they put down on paper. The Barnes & Noble Podcast goes between the lines with today’s most interesting writers, exploring what inspires them, what confounds them, and what they were thinking when they wrote the books we’re talking about.
In 2005 writer, director and producer Reginald Hudlin added comic book author to his resume, picking up the mantle of the first black superhero, the Stan Lee/Jack Kirby creation Black Panther. Hudlin’s run writing one of Marvel’s most iconic characters deepened and expanded the world of T’Challa’s family and kingship, and the history of his nation, Wakanda. This week, as moviegoers everywhere flock to see Black Panther make the leap from page to screen, B&N’s comics expert James Killen talks with Reginald Hudlin about his part in the history of the hottest character in comics.
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Deep in the heart of Africa is Wakanda, a technologically advanced civilization of great power and mystery. During the last ten centuries, Wakanda has stood alone as an unconquerable land inhabited by undefeatable warriors. Governing this nation is a lineage of warrior-kings possessing enhanced speed, strength and agility. Today, T’Challa is the latest in this famed family line, the great hero known worldwide as the Black Panther. Now, outsiders are once more assembling to invade Wakanda and plunder its riches. Leading this brutal assault is Klaw, a deadly assassin with the blood of T’Challa’s murdered father on his hands, who brings with him a powerful army of super-powered mercenaries. Even with Wakanda’s might and his own superhuman skills, can the Black Panther prevail against such a massive invading force..
Hollywood heavyweight Reginald Hudlin (House Party, Boomerang) and fan-favorite artist John Romita Jr. (Captain America, Amazing Spider-Man) team up to deliver a taut, politically charged thriller that Ain’t It Cool News has lauded as “better than watching a really great hour-long television drama.”
Collecting Black Panther (2005) #1-6, plus T’Challa’s historic first appearances from Fantastic Four (1961) #52-53.
EXCLUSIVE to Barnes & Noble Edition:
Hollywood heavyweight Reginald Hudlin takes on the Black Panther – and he’s brought the blockbuster visuals of John Romita Jr.! Together, they go back to the beginning to present T’Challa’s origin in cinematic scope! Who is the Black Panther – and what is the secret history of Wakanda? Social satire meets all-out action as T’Challa’s adventures continue! The Panther enters the House of M! An outbreak of strange, mutated animals brings Storm and the X-Men to Africa! The Panther teams up with Luke Cage, Blade, Brother Voodoo and Monica Rambeau to take on the undead! But every king needs a queen – and so T’Challa embarks on his most dangerous quest yet…to wed the love of his life! Which of the world’s greatest super hero women will say “I do”?
COLLECTING: BLACK PANTHER (2005) 1-18, X-MEN (1991) 175-176
A new era begins for the Black Panther! MacArthur Genius and National Book Award-winning writer T-Nehisi Coates (BETWEEN THE WORLD AND ME) takes the helm, confronting T’Challa with a dramatic upheaval in Wakanda that will make leading the African nation tougher than ever before. When a superhuman terrorist group that calls itself The People sparks a violent uprising, the land famed for its incredible technology and proud warrior traditions will be thrown into turmoil. If Wakanda is to survive, it must adapt—but can its monarch, one in a long line of Black Panthers, survive the necessary change? Heavy lies the head that wears the cowl!
COLLECTING: Black Panther 1-4, Fantastic Four (1961) 52
Black Panther reinvented as a sharp and witty political satire? Believe it! T’Challa is the man with the plan, as Christopher Priest puts the emphasis on the Wakandan king’s reputation as the ultimate statesman, as seen through the eyes of the U.S. government’s Everett K. Ross. As the Panther investigates a murder in New York, Ross plays Devil’s Advocate in an encounter with Mephisto, and a new regime seizes control in Wakanda.
COLLECTING: Black Panther (1998) 1-17
Explore the powers, weapons, technology, and suits of the warrior, monarch, scientist, and Super Hero Black Panther, king of Wakanda—from his debut in 1966 to the present.
This comprehensive book showcases stunning Black Panther comic artwork and profiles iconic characters, such as T’Challa, and his friends and allies, including Luke Cage, The Falcon, and Storm. Meet the foes, too, like Ulysses Klaw, Erik Killmonger, Doctor Doom, and Sub-Mariner.
Packed full of information about Black Panther, the book includes an in-depth look at the characters, key issues, and iconic storylines, spotlighting pivotal moments and story arcs in the history of Black Panther, including “Panther’s Rage,” “Doomwar,” and “Secret Invasion,” and “A Nation Under Our Feet.”
Like this podcast? Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher to discover intriguing new conversations every week.
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Francisco Cantú, who worked for the U.S. Border Patrol for nearly four years, was not your typical agent. In The Line Becomes a River, his beautiful and devastating memoir of his time patrolling the border in Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas, he gives one migrant the actual shirt off his back before buying him a meal. Another migrant, abandoned by her group when she can’t keep up, can hardly walk when she’s apprehended by agents in the desert. Cantú, in an act rich with symbolism, tenderly washes her blistered feet.
Cantú is of Mexican heritage on his mother’s side; his maternal grandfather was brought across the border by his parents as a young boy. His mother never makes peace with her son’s job, and their searching conversations appear throughout the book. (The author eschews quotation marks when writing dialogue, giving these exchanges a dreamy, poetic feel.) He tells his mother that he’s taking the job because, after studying immigration and international relations in college, he yearns “to see the realities of the border” for himself. She wants him to find work that lets him “help people instead of pitting [him] against them.” His argument: “Good people will always be crossing the border, and whether I’m in the Border Patrol or not, agents will be out there arresting them. At least if I’m the one apprehending them, I can offer them some small comfort by speaking with them in their own language, by talking to them with knowledge of their home.”
He does exactly that, bringing a determined humanity to a brutal system. When he and his partner are searching the backpacks of two men they’ve found in the desert, they discover bags of grasshoppers and dried fish, which the men proudly tell the agents are typical Oaxacan cuisine. They urge the agents to sample the food, and while his partner is hesitant, Cantú immediately accepts, asking them about their village. “For a short time we stood together with the men, laughing and eating, listening to their stories from home.” At the station where the men will be processed for deportation, they notice Cantú throwing out their water bottle. One of the men whispers to Cantú that it’s not water, but homemade aged mezcal: “It’s at its best right now, he said, take it with you.”
Still, Cantú cannot escape being implicated in the border’s cruel realities. Migrants being pursued by Border Patrol often stash their heavy provisions, intending to come back for them, so that they can more easily evade the agents. “I wonder sometimes how I might explain certain things,” Cantú writes, “but it’s true that we slash their bottles and drain their water into the dry earth, that we dump their backpacks and pile their food and clothes to be crushed and pissed on and stepped over, strewn across the desert and set ablaze.” The idea is to hasten the migrants’ realization that there’s no point in continuing, that they will not survive the journey. Indeed, as Cantú also sees firsthand, many do perish during the difficult desert crossing.
The final section of The Line Becomes a River takes place after Cantú leaves the Border Patrol because he’s plagued by anxiety and nightmares. He’s in Arizona, working at a coffee shop while pursuing a graduate degree in writing to help him “make sense of what [he’d] seen.” He befriends a maintenance man named Jose, and every morning for almost two years Jose shares his breakfast with Cantú and Cantú offers him coffee in return. Jose, in the U.S. illegally and married with three American-born sons, returns to Mexico to see his dying mother and is arrested trying to get back into the country. Cantú, seeking to help his friend, perhaps seeking some form of redemption too, attends Jose’s court hearings, takes his sons to visit him in jail (a trip too risky for their mother, who also lacks legal status) and, along with Jose’s boss and his pastor, retains an attorney to represent him. Despite their efforts, Jose is deported to Mexico. “I shouldn’t have left the U.S.,” Jose — whose story is not at all unusual — tells Cantú. “I shouldn’t have left my family, but I couldn’t live without going to see my mother.”
There are complex political and economic dimensions to our current immigration debate, but Cantú’s deeply humane book forces us to ponder questions of conscience. How can we sanction a system in which the decision to see a dying mother one last time is the wrong choice, one that can cost a man his family? When Jose asks Cantú whether he’d arrested many drug smugglers while working for Border Patrol, Cantú replies that he had but confesses that he mostly arrested “people looking for a better life.” One man being processed for deportation after his arrest asks Cantú if he can clean the jail cells or take out the trash while he waits: “I want to show you that I’m here to work,” he pleads. Is there any enhanced border enforcement that will stop the irrepressible human drive for a better life?
Cantú visits Jose in a border town in Mexico, where he’s preparing to attempt another crossing. Jose tells the author matter-of-factly that “there are many dangers, but for me it doesn’t matter. I have to cross, I have to arrive to the other side . . . So you see, there is nothing that can keep me from crossing.” He, and many others like him, will continue to risk their lives to enter the United States. It’s difficult to imagine a wall high enough to stop them from trying.
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Sig Nordal 